Jörmungandr

Ophis and I appeared in front of a stereotypical bad guy lair. Or at least, that's what I thought it looked like. I had tracked Dumbledore's devil signature and it led me to a rickety abandoned manor. The outer walls were crumbling and covered in foliage. The grass over grew the paved path that led to a rusted iron fence. 

The manor itself was covered in peeling paint and most of the windows had been shattered. All it needed was a few rain clouds and maybe a few ominous flashes of lightning. It would have been the perfect image of a haunted house that was owned by a villain who masqueraded as a ghost. 

Seeing no need to be subtle I blasted the iron gate off its hinges and stepped through the wards. The protections shattered under the weight of my power. I heard an alarm ward going off in the house and someone disappearing. I gave Ophis a glance and she nodded before disappearing. We had made a plan to split up should someone try to run and someone apparating away fit into that category. Whether it was Dumbledore or Voldemort I didn't know. All I knew was that whoever it was, they were about to get sexually assaulted by a bunch of Ophis' snakes. 

The sound of flapping wings made me look up. Dumbledore was flying in place, a pair of bat wings growing out of his back. He looked ridiculous with his multicolored robes fluttering in the wind. 

"It's you… no matter. I am stronger now. I have gained power you can not comprehend. You will die here and pave the road for my greatness." 

'He's not serious is he? Oh he is… what an idiot.' I mused. 

"Nothing to say? As expected, your meager human magic is nothing compared to my GAAAAAHHHHH!" 

He never got to finish his sentence as I struck him down with a twitch of my fingers. Lightning struck him again, blasting his wings off and scorching his robes. Dumbledore fell to the ground in a steaming heap. 

"You really are stupid aren't you?" 

"W-what? How can this be?!" 

I sighed and unfurled my golden wings bathing the area around me in holy light. Dumbledore's skin began to smolder making him hiss in pain. 

"I see, you're one of the angels." 

"You love making assumptions huh… I'm not an Angel you stupid fuck." 

"Then a fallen?" 

"You know what? I'm just going to kill you. It doesn't matter what I tell you." 

"WHO ARE YOU!!" The injured devil shouted. 

"Bye bye Dumbledore." I waved sarcastically as I unleashed a wave of pure light at the fallen wizard. 

The old man screamed in pain as he was turned to ash in the blink of an eye. I hid my wings again and cracked my neck. With one problem dealt with I waited for Ophis to return. 

A magic circle lit up the ground and another devil emerged. I looked at the man as he scanned the area where I had vaporized the wizard turned devil. 

"You killed him."  A man with near platinum hair spoke. 

"You here to avenge him, was he one of your peerage members? I'd hate to tell you but if you want to avenge him you're going to die just like him." 

"No, nothing like that. I should thank you for dealing with that stray." 

"A stray?" 

"Unfortunately. He came to me begging for power and vengeance on an enemy. I felt pity for him so I resurrected him as my pawn. He then tried to kill me and when that failed he ran." 

"You felt pity?" 

"Believe it or not, not all devils are inhuman pieces of shit." The man chuckled. 

Part of me wanted to strike down this devil for speaking so casually to me as if he was my friend. I knew that was just the remnants of my previous incarnation that absolutely hated devils. 

"I agree with that sentiment. Though I have to ask. You arrived just as I killed him, oddly convenient don't you think?" 

"I've been tracking him for weeks and found him here. You arrived before I could confront him myself." 

I searched the devil for any hints of deception and found none. Either he was being honest or he was just really good at lying. 

"So you saw how I dealt with him?" 

"If you mean your wings then yes. Though I've never seen an Angel with golden wings." 

"I'm built different. So what will you do now?" 

The devil didn't look too put off with how I pushed the conversation to another direction. He shrugged and kicked at the loose dirt where I had vaporized Dumbledore. 

"I suppose I'll head home. The stain on my peerage in the form of a stray has been dealt with. There's nothing I need in the mortal world." 

"Just like that? Not going to promise revenge for killing a fellow devil, aren't you a part of the Old Faction?" 

"Like I said, he was a stray. I would have killed him myself had you not done so already and no, while my family is part of the 72 pillars I'm not with those old bastards." 

"Alright then. I'll let you take your leave." I gave the devil the benefit of the doubt… for now at least.

The devil nodded and created a magic circle, "Before I go, what is your name?" He called to me. 

"You can just call me Joe, and yours?" 

"Reinhardt, Reinhardt Cimerius." 

With that he steps through the circle and disappears just as Ophis returns dragging a bloodied Voldemort by the leg. I looked at her with raised eyebrows and she dropped the beaten dark wizard. 

"Why bring him back?" 

"No littering." Ophis muttered. 

[Scene Break]

After dealing with Voldemort's dead body I teleported us back to the Longbottoms. The resurrected couple were still fussing over Neville and Algie was now tied to a chair. 

Drawing the couples attention by clearing my throat I waited for them to notice. They spun around and looked at me in shock. 

"You're back." Alice noted. 

"Obviously," I drawled, pointing to Algie, "Should I even ask?" 

"He tried to call for aurors, we seized the initiative and prevented him from doing so." Frank replied. 

I looked at the bound Unspeakable and read his mind. He thrashed in the chair before going limp. 

"He was planning on calling the Department of Mysteries to arrest the both of you. He wanted to see if they could find out how to bring people back to life by experimenting in you." 

Frank's head snapped over to Algie, "Bastard." He hissed. 

"Frank it's alright, our family is whole again and that's all that matters," She looked at me, "has Dumbledore been dealt with?" 

"Yeah, he made a deal with a devil for power and used that power to bring Voldemort back using your family as a sacrifice." 

"You've killed both of them?" Frank asked with a cold glint in his eyes. 

"Atomized, not even ashes remain." 

"Good, you have my families gratitude." He bowed his head. 

Waving him off, "Just dealing with a problem I thought I had already dealt with. Now though… I can offer your family the same thing I offered the Potters." 

Frank and Alice looked at me curiously.

"Minor blessings to keep yourselves safe and the chance to escape into the muggle world where you can live with your son free from having to deal with the bullshit the wizarding world churns out." 

"I- we need to think about it." Alice replied. 

"Of course, you lot are purebloods, you've got a lot more holding you to the magical world." 

"W-we have no idea how to live in the muggle world." Frank added. 

"I could always just send you to meet up with the Potters. I'm sure they'll be more than happy to help you adapt." 

Frank nodded, "Well get back to you with our answer at the end of the day." 

"That quick?" 

Frank smiled, "It's not going to be a difficult decision. We just need some time to think about what to do." 

"Very well, just pray to me should you need to reach me." 

The couple nodded and I teleported away with Ophis. We reappeared in the Chamber of Secrets and I let out a sigh. Ophis got off my shoulders and looked at me curiously. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Just hoping that my business with the wizarding world ends with that." 

Freya slithered out of her den and glanced at me. She sent me a mental image of the Slytherin Crest. 

"Yeah yeah, I know. I haven't forgotten the fact that Helena is still acting as the caretaker of the properties and the bank vaults." 

Freya hissed in satisfaction and tapped me on the chest with her tail before returning to her den. Ophis grabbed my hand making me look at the goth loli. 

"Tired?" She asked with a tilted head. 

"Yeah, you could say that. Dealing with humans directly is rather exhausting, but it's also fun and it beats sitting around in my throne just answering prayers and listening to people bitch about their problems." 

"That's why I enjoy silence." Ophis states.

"You also violate people with your snakes."

"…"

"Don't look at me like I'm stupid. You know damn well what you're doing when you make those snakes of yours slither up peopl-"

"Strange…" A new voice spoke, making me turn to where the entrance to the Chamber was.

A man in flowing black robes stood at the entrance. The man had black wings and a glowing scythe. His attention was on me as he walked forward. 

"You have violated the natural order sorcerer. You will pay with your soul." The man stated in his pompous voice. 

I looked at Ophis, "This asshole isn't talking to me is he?" 

"There's no use delaying the ineveti-" 

"I know he's not talking to me as if he's superior." 

Ophis shrugged and walked away to where Freya was coiled around a brazier. Ophis erected a protective barrier around Freya and the Chamber. 

"You dare ignore me! I am Thanatos, the personification of death. You have stolen souls that belong to me!" 

I unfurled my wings, making the man freeze. The smug little smirk slid off his face as I summoned my sword from my hammer space.

"No, please go on. Go on about how you think you're hot shit." 

"No! Impossible! You should be dead!" 

"News flash you fucking dildo. I'm not." 

My sword burst into holy flames that made the air in the Chamber slowly heat up. 

"No matter, you are a fake. An imposter. I shall reap your soul and return what you have stolen." 

Thanatos charges at me while swinging his scythe in a large arc. With a casual flick of my sword I cut his weapon in two making him stumble. Before he could recover I kicked him in the chest hard. Thanatos crashed into a stone snake with a crunch. 

The self proclaimed personification of death shakily stood up. His wings were a mangled mess behind him having been shattered by the impact with the stone snake. 

"W-who are you?" 

"I already told you. It's not my fault you don't fucking listen." 

"How are you alive?" He gasped out as the air continued to heat up from the flames on my sword. 

"I'm just built different." 

"You can not kill me." He quickly stated as I stepped forward to behead him. 

"Oh? And why not?" 

"Because the world would crumble should I die." 

"Really?" 

"I am the personification of de-URKkkkk"

I stabbed him through the gut with my sword making his flesh sizzle and his robes catch fire. 

"The arrogance of your Greeks, you really think you're the only Death God in the universe?" 

"B-but Lord Ze-Zeus, he said th-" 

"It doesn't matter what he said. You fucks have been allowed to fuck around for far too long. It's time you squabbling kids learned that you're not the biggest things in this universe." Irrational rage built up inside me. 

"I- then I have failed my L-" 

His head hit the ground before he could finish whatever he was saying. His body broke down into golden dust before sinking through the ground. 

"Consider yourself lucky that I didn't kill you permanently you dumb cunt." I spat on the ground and dispelled my sword. 

Freya slithered over to me and tapped me on the shoulder with her tail. Ophis was riding on her head but gave me a worried look. 

"The fucking audacity of these Greeks. To stray from their territory and attack me." 

What will you do brother?§ Freya hissed at me. 

§It seems the Greeks have volunteered to be the ones to announce my return.§ I replied. 

§Are you not overreacting?§

§Perhaps, I am. I still need people to witness my return.§

Freya did the snake equivalent to a chuckle before curling back around the fire and dozing off. Ophis floated over to me and got in her spot. 

"Are you going to attack the Greeks?"

"No, not yet. I'll leave them be for now. I curious to see how they'll deal with the temporary death of one of their gods." 

"They won't be happy." Ophis muttered as she rested her head on my shoulder. 

"They can eat my fucking nuts. They've been allowed to do whatever they want for far too long. They're starting to think that they're untouchable." 

Ophis hummed and closed her eyes. I bid Freya farewell and teleported back to heaven. 

[Scene Break] (Time Skip)

It had been a few years since I dealt with the last threats in the magical world. Heaven's ranks were slowly replenished over that time. With Salazar, Godric, Rowena, and Helga taking to their roles as Seraph swimmingly, the System ran much more smoothly than before. New Angels were born as I had done away with the rather strange rule previous me had set up. 

I still didn't know why he had insisted on being present in Heaven when angels procreated. Either he was secretly watching them like a creep or he was secretly watching them to be a creep. 

I also decided that angels falling from grace because they had a naughty thought was stupid as shit so I changed it. The only way to fall from grace now, is to actively work against me and to betray Heaven.  

It had been kind of funny when I encouraged Michael and the other archangels to cuss since they would no longer fall. Once they realized that cussing was actually a great way to emphasize certain expressions and emotions, they had adopted it though they still used it sparingly. 

I had also turned Natasha and Yelena into angels seeing that they were outclassed in terms of power levels in this universe. Natasha had been training diligently, gaining several pairs of wings over the years. She now had five pairs for a total of ten wings. She was a seraph in all but name. 

Yelena on the other hand had elected to travel the world and watch over orphans. She had felt that it was her duty to make sure that no child was taken advantage of like she and Natasha had been in their youth. Yelena had also gained multiple sets of wings for a total of six. 

As for me, I have been busy making sure that word about my return didn't spread beyond Heaven. I realized that revealing myself early would have been counterproductive as Heaven was not ready to fight anyone off. With how low our numbers had been in the past, we had been the weakest faction among the main three. Now I had secretly built us back up to the top. 

Of course the other factions still had their major players, but I no longer had to worry about being the weakest faction. 

So far things had been quiet. My spies told me that the devils had bought up some land in Japan and that the Grigori had matched them. Azazel had also contacted Michael recently. 

'It seems that the main plot is starting…' I thought to myself as I sat on my throne. 

I hummed and closed my eyes. The influx of prayers grew with the population of angels. Thankfully no one had noticed just yet but I knew it was a matter of time before the other factions noticed the increased activity. 

"Please! Anyone… who ever is listening. Save my son. Let him reach the boundary in time." A woman's voice rang out in my head loudly. 

I frowned, the voice wasn't familiar but it was much clearer than the other praying voices. That meant that whoever was praying actually really believed in the divine. Which was rare in this day and age. 

I stood up from my throne, the movement woke Ophis up. The dragon god had been in her miniature dragon form on my lap. She shifted to her regular goth loli for and jumped onto my shoulders. Ophis was practically my shadow with how she never left my side. I had underestimated just how attached she was to me. 

"Sorry about that Ophis, I heard a prayer from an actual believer." 

"Hmm, are you going to go help?" She said sleepily.

Over the years her speech had gotten much better. She now spoke in proper sentences and would show more emotion than she used to. She still slept a lot though. 

"Yeah, I'm curious to see what's going on. It's deep in Greek territory so it should be interesting." 

"No Gabriel?" 

"Gabriel is training the new group of angels this month. She won't be joining us until she's done." 

"That's unfortunate." Ophis muttered before closing her eyes to nap. "Wake me up if something interesting happens." 

I grinned, I had avoided the Greeks long enough. It was high time I paid them a visit. 

"Michael." I called. 

The Seraph appeared before me in a flash of magic. After a short bow he greeted me with a smile. 

"What is it father?" 

"Prepare the available Seraph, it's time."

"As you wish father." Michael's smile widened.

With another bow he disappeared with another magic circle. Michael had been the most vocal in announcing my return. He had asked me to reveal my return when I had returned after dealing with Dumbledore but I had denied it stating my reasons. He respected my decision but I could tell that he hated pretending that I was still dead. 

I made sure Ophis was still secure on my shoulders before teleporting to where I had heard the prayer from. 

Rain poured heavily through the thicket of trees around us. Ophis raised a hand that put up a barrier that kept the rain from soaking us. Hearing a crash not far off I teleported again, this time ending up standing in front of a woman shielding a young boy from what looked like a Minotaur. 

"Ophis, help the mother and child. I'll deal with the furry fuck." 

"Okay." She blinked across the distance and teleported the mother and child to safety. 

I summoned my sword from my hammer space and grinned widely when the Minotaur spun around to look at me. It roared challengingly at me and raised a wicked looking ax. 

"I hope which ever sorry fuck sent you after a mother and child paid you real good cause I'm about to bend you over and fuck you six way to Sunday." 

The Minotaur roared again and charged. Its speed would have been deadly had I been human. Unfortunately for the furry bastard I was neither human nor did I really have any qualms with flexing my power. 

My sword burst into holy flames and I bisected the Minotaur all in the fraction of a second. An explosion of heat burst from the slain Minotaur as it was cooked in an instant. The force of my slash sent a shockwave that tore a few trees out of the ground. The rain suddenly stopped pouring and the forest was filled with silence. 

The Minotaur stood still for a few moments before splitting in half from head to balls and crashing in two separate directions. Noises filled the forest as teenagers in leather armor rushed in expecting a fight. A centaur galloped to the front of the armored teenagers and looked at the still steaming corpse of the Minotaur. 

I extinguished the flames on my sword and turned around with a big grin on my face. The centaur cautiously stepped forward. 

"Might I ask for your name?" 

"No need Chiron. I'm here to ask a few questions to your gods." 

"Wha-?" 

"Ophis, bring that lady and that kid over. I think it's safe for them now." 

Ophis teleported to my side holding the woman's arms. The woman held who I assumed was her son and what looked like a wet fuzzy blanket. 

"Ophis?" Chiron asked. 

"Yes, Ophis. My sister and the Ouroboros Dragon." 

Chiron paled and started ushering the armored teenagers back to wherever they had come from. I looked at the shivering woman and her son. 

"Got a name?" 

"Sally, and this is my son Percy." 

"Pleased to meet you. Sorry if I scared you." 

"N-not at all… are you one of the gods?" Sally asked. 

"Hmm? Oh no, not Greek." 

"Another pantheon?" 

"Sort of? I wouldn't really call myself a pantheon." 

"Wait, so you're just a minor god?" 

A part of me felt insulted, screaming at me to smite the woman. Another part forgave her for not knowing. 

There was a flash of light and Gabriel came flying into my arms with a pout. 

"Daddy! You left to deal with the Greeks without me."

"Gabriel, aren't you supposed to be training the new angels?" 

She looked down sheepishly and blushed, "ImadeRaphaeltakeover." 

"What was that?" I cocked an eyebrow. 

"I made brother Raphael take over! There I said it, I wanted to come with you." She gave me puppy dog eyes. 

I sighed, "You could have just asked." 

"Sorry Daddy." Gabriel's shoulders sagged. 

I patted her head with a smile on my face, "It's fine. You're here now. Go look around while I finish speaking with this nice lady." 

Gabriel stood up straight and smiled brightly before flying off. I looked back at Sally who was gaping at me. 

"Y-you're THE Christian God?" She finally managed to get out. 

"Sure, let go with that." 

"Wait what's the difference?" 

"Well religion is completely man made. Catholic, Christian, Judaism. Honestly most of the monotheistic religions worship me in one form or another." 

"Mom?" The young dark haired boy spoke up for the first time. 

"What is it Percy?" She asked him while shooting me an apologetic look. 

"Is he my dad?"

Ophis tensed while looking between Percy and I. I had to admit, the kid did look like me. The same dark hair and the same green eyes. Though his eyes seemed a bit more blue compared to my venomous green eyes.

"Uh, no… no he's not Percy." 

"Oh…" Percy looked down sadly. 

"Want me to be your dad kid?" I asked him with a smirk. 

Percy looked up with a confused expression. "What?" 

"I could always adopt you." 

"He's just kidding Percy." Sally chuckled but I could sense a bit of longing in her voice. 

I shrugged, "Not really, but let's shelve this conversation for later. I'm gonna go speak with the Olympians." 

"You're going to talk to them?" 

"Well, maybe kick their asses a bit." 

Percy laughed at that but looked away when Sally's head snapped over to him. 

"Aren't you scared? They're really powerful." 

"Sally, there's a reason I'm called the God of Gods." 

She looked doubtful but nodded, "Thank you again, for saving us." 

"I'll be back. Thank me then." 

Sally practically dragged Percy away and I waved at the kid. Turning to Gabriel who had returned and Ophis who was looking at me strangely I put a serious face on. 

"Right, we're going to go deal with the Greeks. While I don't expect a fight, I'm also not stupid enough to think that the horn dog won't pitch a fit. Keep your guards up and make sure none of them slip away." 

Gabriel and Ophis nodded, "Are you going to strip them of their powers?"

"We'll see." I replied to Gabriel. 

[Scene Break]

Ophis, Gabriel, and I appeared at the entrance to Olympus. I looked around and spotted a few different citizens of the divine city glancing at us curiously. I could count a few minor gods wandering around but since I was concealing everyone's aura no one really knew who we were. 

I slowly made my way up to the throne room with Ophis and Gabriel at my sides. Ophis had decided to not latch onto my shoulders for now. Gabriel was looking around at the various buildings as we made our way to the royal palace. 

I could already hear shouting going on so I knew that the Olympians were probably meeting about something. Smirking, I kicked the doors as hard as I could, sending them flying inwards. 

"WHO DARES INTRUDE!!!" A voice boomed. 

Ophis immediately threw up a barrier around Gabriel as a bolt of lightning struck me. Zeus had a gobsmacked look on his face when I brushed off my shirt and deadpanned at him. 

"First ones free asshole. I came here to knock you fucks down a few pegs." 

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!" Screeched Hera. 

I rolled my eyes, every single one of them was screaming at me in one form or another. Ares jumped off of his throne and stomped over. 

"I will kill you mortal, then I shall take your companions as my personal bed warmers." He leered at Gabriel and Ophis.

The two women didn't look impressed, nor was I for that matter. 

"Ares thank you for volunteering yourself to be the message." 

"WHAT DID YOU SA- GAAAAHHHH!!!!"" 

In the matter of a microsecond, I summoned my sword, drove it through Ares' chest, and kicked him away towards Zeus' feet.

Golden blood splattered on the marble floors. Holy flames burst along the blade of my sword making the blood on it sizzle. I opened my wings and glared at the Olympians who had gone silent. 

"Listen you snivelling fucks. You have been allowed to fuck around for far too long. The world doesn't revolve around you. You are not the center of the universe and you are sure as fuck not the strongest gods." 

"Y-you're supposed to be dead!" Zeus cried out. 

"Yet here I stand you sorry excuse of a god." 

"Don't speak to my father that way boy!" Artemis shouted. 

I smirked as Zeus paled when he heard his daughter defend him. 

"Ah, the man hater… tell me you cock juggling thunder cunt, have you ever seen a god die?" 

"I SHA-

"ARTEMIS! Enough." 

"But father! This man has insulted us! He has injured Ares. Surely we will not let that stand?!" 

"She doesn't know, does she Zeus?"

The Olympian king bowed his head in defeat, my grin grew wider. 

"This is perfect," I raised my hand summoning Ares by the throat, "listen well Olympians." 

I forced Ares on his knees and held him in place with telekinetic power. "For the insult to my sister and my daughter. I sentence you to the true death." 

Before anyone could react I beheaded the injured god of war. Hera screamed as her sons decapitated head thumped onto the floor with a look of shock permanently etched onto his face. Hera made a move to charge at me but was pushed back when I stopped completely suppressing my divine aura for the first time since ascending. 

"I've gone by many titles; Elohim, Yahweh, Allah, Heavenly Father, the Alpha and the Omega. I am the God of Gods, my name is Jörmungandr, but on this day I shall be your judge, jury, and if need be… your executioner ."