Ketch Me as I Fall

*Alex POV*

"I'll ask again." The voice said once more. "Who are you and how…"

"How did I get here." I looked around, looking for someone or something else. "I'm trying to figure that out myself."

"Well. You can't stay." It said, almost as if it was annoyed with me. Like I had inconvenienced it. "So I'm going to need you to leave."

"Wish I could, toots." I sighed. "Pretty sure God shoved me in here so he's probably the only way to get me out."

"Wait. 'God' put you here?" It was curious now, or as inquisitive as a disembodied voice could be.

"Ya. I was in the middle of…some family shit." No way was I telling some random voice about Kore. "And he just…touched me and now…"

"Now you're here." The voice finished. "What's your name?"

"I…Why does that matter?" I asked.

"It just does." The voice said.

"You're gonna have to give me a better reason than that." I scoffed.

"Fine." 

Something like a cold spring wind flowed past me and I turned to find a black door materializing. I walked towards it but stopped when I noticed there wasn't a handle on this side of it. This door was not meant for me, and it became even clearer when It opened suddenly, a figure made of light stepped from it, and the door closed and vanished again in seconds. The figure of light stepped closer to me, slowly changing into the form of a younger person. They were thin and pale, with short brunette hair and eyes as brown as old, worn hickory. They were much younger than me, maybe by twenty-some years, but had a familiar strength in their eyes. Something that reminded me of the fire that had started seething in me so long ago.

"That's…" I blinked at them.

"Ya." They spoke softly. "Not every day you meet your own creation."

*Ketch POV*

I had had harder blows. Of course, I had. I had been thrown around by plenty of monsters to know what it felt like to be thrown against a wall at superhuman speed. Fuck, I had been thrown around by my bloody fiance. But there was something about being thrown across a room by God himself that knocked the soul out of you for a moment.

And when time itself had come back to me, and the blood no longer rushed in my ears, it was too late to do anything. It really wasn't until Dean was slapping my face, attempting to bring me around, that I even noticed that God was gone. And Alex with him. 

"No…" I pushed Dean away, trying to get to my feet. "No she…" the world spun and my knees cracked into the floor again. "She can't be…"

"Fuck, Ketch…" Dean hissed. "Can you miss the gym for a day or two? Fucking heavy asshole…"

I groaned as my ribs protested the other man's arm around them. I allowed Dean to help me to my feet and keep me steady as I surveyed the flat before us. It was no more wrecked than it had been when my back had hit the wall. Blood-soaked clothes and plastic wrap from the newly furnished living room were still strewn around the floor. Blood…Kore…the babe had gone with that angel. With Cas. She would be safe with him, I knew that, but where had Alex gone? What had happened after I had been tossed aside?

"Where is she, Dean?" I asked, my voice scratchy in my throat.

"I don't know." At least he was honest. I could give him that. "And he took off after Cas."

"Not before he said something ominous about keeping us busy though." Sam piped up from near the window.

"We know where the angel is?" I took a step, and my feet were more steady under myself now.

"Cas will keep in contact and only come back when it's safe to," Dean assured. "He knows better than to come back right now."

"What about Kore? She can't…" 

"Kore will be fine." Dean hoisted my arm over his shoulders more. "If she really is as powerful as he thinks she is, then she'll be perfect."

"And what do you propose we do in the meantime?" I asked. "We can not sit idly by and just wait for something."

"You're right." Sam said as he joined his brother and I. "'We' are going to do something. Starting with getting you back to the bunker."

"I'm fine." I tried to argue through the pain in my side. "I don't need to be coddled like a child."

"We're not coddling you," Sam smirked as we all started towards the door. "We're making sure you stay alive so we don't end up dead when she does come back."

Dean huffed. "Because as much as we do want you dead, she likes you for some fucking reason. And I don't want to piss her off."

A small laugh left me as we walked out to that damn car Dean praised so highly. There was a quiet peace about the coming dawn as the sun just brushed the trees around the unfinished cul de sac. However, it didn't seem to last long before the ground beneath our feet shook and all of Hell broke loose.

*Alex POV*

"You…" I tried. "Why do you look like me?" 

"Because I made 'you' look like 'me'." The version before me announced.

"What do you mean 'you' made me?" I took a step back. "God made me, the god of my world."

"Kinda. Well I mean, I guess to you that would be true." The younger version of myself claimed. "But I created your story. I made you into you."

"No that's…that's not possible." I shook my head. "Because that would be crazy."

"It is possible. Never really imagined anything would happen when I wrote about how God banished you. But I guess it is true what they say about writers creating their own universes." Younger me shrugged. "I guess I accidentally sent you here."

"So I'm what? In your head?" I laughed. "What kind of self-absorbed asshole would not only write about themselves but then write themselves into themselves?"

"The kind of self-absorbed asshole who can write you back into your world." They shrugged again.

"You can what?" I asked.

"I can write you back into 'your world'." They stated it as if it was something we both should've known.

"It would be that simple?" I threw my arms out to the side. "God himself puts me here and the one caveat is that I can be written back into my own story?"

Younger me shrugged once more. "It's worth a shot. I figure that if I created you, and accidentally brought you here by writing it, then it can't be that hard to write a way for you to get back out."

"Then what the fuck are we waiting for?"

*Ketch POV*

It became a fight just to make it back to the bunker alive. Demons, ghouls, the undead, and even a few vengeful spirits seemed to be crawling out of every pour of the Earth. The cracks had started as small rifts or gaps in the ground, but as Dean had driven closer and closer to the bunker, they had gotten wider and harder to find ways around. At one point I had the thought the Winchester would be stupid enough to jump one of them. It would have been along their MO to do so, but he surprised me by racing the thing as it split wide and just made it around one edge before it was too wide to cross again. 

"What the fuck is going on?!" Dean asked again as we sped into their bunker's garage. 

"For the millionth time, Dean, how should any of us know?" I asked, a little more pointed than it perhaps should have been. 

The green-eyed Winchester glared at me. It was good to know they all seemed to share the same look when annoyed.

Sam came to the back door and extended his hand to me. I took it, groaning in pain as he helped me from the car. But it had lessened already, now more of a dull ache. That didn't stop the youngest Winchester from slinging his arm around my side for support as we walked into the remarkably untouched abode. 

"How is this place untouched by whatever is going on outside?" I asked as we came into the map room and Sam helped me into a chair.

"What? The Men of Letters not have wards?" Dean teased. "I thought you were a bunch of know-it-alls."

It was my turn to glare at the man. "Nothing like this. Or at least not strong enough to hold out this long."

It was true. Most bunkers did have wardings for most things, but there was no way any of them would have something strong enough to hold out something this apocalyptic. Most hadn't even had wardings against angels.

"I'm not sure what Alex did after Asmodick burned it down, but I'm not going to complain about it either," Sam commented. "But we can look into that later. Right now we need to find out what's going on."

"Right. You wanna go find Mrs. Butters? She seems to like you more." Dean suggested.

"And she may know what's going on." Sam nodded in agreement before heading out of the room.

"And I'm going to go grab some tracking stuff to find Cas." Dean spun on his heels and headed from the room.

Alone in the map room, I relaxed into the chair. I knew the healing would be slow to remain semi-unnoticeable, but this was still agony. What was the point of making this damn deal if it didn't have more benefits?

"The point was to keep you around longer. Or did you forget about the actual words of our deal?" The smokey voice wrapped around my mind.

"I made the deal because you said you had a way to make me immortal like her, not so you could have a meat suit to galavant around in," I grumbled.

I could remember that night as clear as day still. It was just after I'd gotten Alex back to Hell after the incident with the Djinn…

"She's going to need a day or so to rest." Orion had said.

"Can't you make it go any faster?" I had demanded of the demon. The damn thing had loved her at some point, hadn't he? He must have known what it was like to see her like this.

"Oh, I could. But that's not my job anymore." He had sneered. "It stopped being my job when she abandoned all of us again, for you."

"You're refusing to help her because of me?" I asked, a little slack-jawed at his audacity. "What kind of bullshit is that?"

Orion shrugged. "The kind that can be ignored for a deal."

I blinked at him. "I don't make deals with demons." It was a pitiful lie.

"No of course not. Only with the princes, right? The rest of us aren't worthy." The demon smirked at me again.

I flinched as Alex whimpered in pain as her body worked to fix itself. I knew what it felt like to have that instant healing done. I may have been dead for the resurrection spell to work, but that didn't mean I didn't feel every atom of my skull reforming as it took effect. I didn't need to try and imagine what an entire body of broken bones felt like snapping back into place.

"What deal?" I asked.

"Oh not much. I just want to see what all the fuss is about up there." Orion shrugged once again.

"And what would I get out of it?" Was I seriously considering this? The deal with Asmodeus hadn't ended for the best. Sure he was dead and I wasn't, but that didn't mean I hadn't taken the fall for his little stunt. I had been surprised I'd even been allowed back into Hell without being killed on sight.

"Immortality to start." He must have thought I was a fool.

I laughed. "I wouldn't be letting you ride around forever. This would be for a few weeks at most."

"Oh, I wasn't talking about using you as a vessel." He scoffed at that. "I know you're too good for that pretty boy. But I do know a way to make you as immortal as she is."

I thought for a moment. "How do I know you're not tricking me?"

Orion smiled softly. "You don't. But I was there when Crowley put her back together. I saw the whole process." he motioned to Alex as if she was nothing more than an example. "She'd never look at you like you were fragile again."

I looked over her, her face still scrunched in pain. Would that be worth it? To become something as she had? I would be a fool to say that I had never noticed the way she looked at me. To say that I had missed the moments where she put me before herself in dangerous situations. As if she was 100% bulletproof and I was nothing more than tissue paper. But would she understand why I had done it? Would she still love me after as I love her? It would be a risk I could bear because nothing was ever truly immortal.

"Heal her first. And then we can talk more about this deal." I huffed.

Orion's smile widened, showing off his white teeth. "You got it pretty boy."

That had been months ago. And here I was, still toting around a demon like it was nothing. I hadn't even been able to tell her about him. Orion had prevented me from it as part of the deal. This stupid deal was why I had to lie to her, to begin with. He had sent me on so many needless missions to find 'ingredients' I wasn't even certain he needed.

"Oh cheer up, buddy." Orion's words worked through me as if they were made of ink. "Aren't you glad I was there this time? You would've died against that bookcase otherwise. But I stopped the internal bleeding before it was ever an issue."

"And I should thank you for that?" I threw an arm over my eyes. "Isn't that your part of this bargain? Keep me alive until you can change me?"

"Hey. I'm doing what I can to keep them from being suspicious. I could heal you instantly if you wanted, but then you'd have to explain, and that breaks your half." Orion reminded me.

I sighed. "How much more do you need me to collect?" I felt like I had collected the whole library at this point. 

"Ehhh…" I could see the demon shrug even from inside. "Only like one or two more things. But don't worry about it, they're easy enough to get."

"As easy as the damn 'heart of an innocent woman'?" I felt sick thinking about that again. 

I hadn't wanted to kill the mother, there had been no real reason to. She had simply wanted to escape her cheating husband. I hadn't known about the daughter until Alex had found her in the cupboard. By then, it was too late to back out, she was already dead and her heart was stowed in my pack. There was nothing I could do. The blood of her death still weighed heavy on my hands. Would the amount of explaining I'd have to do be worth all the blood I'd spilled? She had fallen in love with me when I was nothing more than someone's assassin. Surly a little more blood would be nothing new.

"Even easier, pretty boy," Orion said. "Though this one I may need to take the reigns for."

"Oh no." I sat up suddenly, ready to wince at the pain that never came. "You are not taking control again. The last time you did…"

"She threw a knife at your head. Ya ya, I know. But I pulled you back in time. Who wants to see a hunter cry like that anyway." Orion mocked, "This time will be different. And the only way we're even getting in is if you let me take over. They're not just gonna let a meatsuit claiming to be a host in."

"And what exactly are we doing anyway?" I asked.

"That's nothing you need to be concerned with. Just let me take you for a ride and it'll be over before you know it." I could see the demon smiling even if he wasn't in front of me.

"You have to promise no innocents will get hurt. I'm tired of doing your dirty work." I sighed. There was never any reasoning with demons.

"You have my word, Brutus. No innocence will be harmed." Orion said. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Good." I sat back in the chair again. I could hear Sam and Dean getting closer again.

"Do we have a deal then?" Orion asked, all too eager.

*Alex POV*

"Ok. So what do you need me to do? Just sit here and wait to see if it works?" I asked into the once again empty white room.

"It's going to take me a minute to write it in. I can't just poof you back into the story." They sighed. "It has to make sense and fit into where things are going."

"My life has never made sense. I'm sure everyone would be fine if you just said 'And they lived happily ever after'." I paced around the room again, my feet growing sore.

"It would matter to me. I pride myself on making things line up and sound…right." They seemed almost annoyed by me.

"Right. The person who has made my life a living Hell just wants to line things up and make them pretty." I scoffed.

It was silent for a while, and for a moment, I thought I had offended them. It had been harsh to say what I had, but it was nonetheless true. If they had created me and been the reason I was alive, then why had they made everything so difficult? They could make my story anything they wanted to and they chose to make me…this. They chose to kill me over and over again. To rip my heart out as my loved ones died and suffered around me. To rip me away from one happy ending after another. Did they just get joy out of torturing me? Was this some sick game to them?

"I am sorry. If you can believe that." They said. The voice was suddenly small.

"You could have made everything easy." I sighed. "You could have chosen to do anything with me. But you didn't. Why did you create me in the first place if you were only going to hurt me?"

"Because I wanted to be someone I can't be in my world." They started. "I wanted to be this badass person I saw in my head. This person could see danger charging right at them and smile at it. A person that could get beat down and stand back up again like it was nothing."

"Why can't you do all that in your world and leave me and mine alone?" I spat.

They were silent again for a moment. "You know. I would ask my creator the same thing if I could." They sighed. "I made you to escape the world I was given. To escape my traumas and heartbreaks. And through writing you, I've been able to face my world better."

"Why continue to torture me then? Haven't I deserved my happily ever after?" I asked into the open air.

"Your story isn't over yet. There's a lot more I want to tell. But I promise, your happy ending is just around the corner." The way they said it, made a promise only they could know about, it made me want to believe them. "I can open the door for you now. Are you ready?"

*Alex & Ketch*

"Yes."

*Alex POV*

The door that appeared in the wall before me was made of glass, with a simple black frame. Through it, there was that beautifully dark forest I had seen when I had stayed with Arthur in Hell for the first time. The forest he had called home when he wasn't on missions for the Men of Letters. It was the reason I had always used to smell the scent of pines and petrichor on him. I smiled at the memories that crept back into my mind with the sight. I reached for it, and a sleek black handle appeared on it.

"Alex." They said.

"If you're going to say something about how I need to do something or whatever to get to my happy ending, just don't." I rolled my eyes. "I'll get there on my…"

"I'm sorry." They announced. "For all that has happened, and the rest that is to come. But I know that you will grow through it, just like you have before."

My hand froze above the handle. There were so many questions I wanted to ask. So many things I felt like I needed answers for. But I knew they were unlikely to tell me, so I grasped the handle and opened the door.

It brought me back to the house we had been in before God had pushed me into that endless white room. Nothing had changed about it, save for there was no one in it anymore and the sky outside seemed to have faded into dusk. I patted down my pockets, searching for my phone before I started for the door. I found it in my back pocket where I had left it and started calling Dean. It went to voicemail as I opened the door and walked outside.

"Hey Dean, it's me. I just…it's a long story. Where are you…" I stopped as I stared out into the world.

The sky was not red because of the time of day. No. It was red to reflect the pit of Hell that had opened up into it. And it was clouded with the black swarms of demons looking for vessels to claim.

"What the fuck happened…"