Killer in Hunter x Hunter

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***

Christopher Bellamy

Shit, I can barely stand up. Yeah, I never expected to run into someone from the Elimination Squad today. I was unprepared, I lost a little bit of control, and I got swept up in it. And not only did I get swept up, I almost died. Good thing that kid saved me, though I don't know who he was or what he was after, but I'm grateful for that, even though he could be a potential enemy.

On the one hand it was bad luck that I almost died, but on the other hand I was lucky to be alive. You can't tell if it's lucky or not. Anyway, we have to think positively. Let's assume that since everything ended more or less well, it was lucky.

However, today has pretty much exhausted me and now my legs are even starting to wobble a bit. Although it's also worth remembering that Belle has been through a lot more than I have. I don't even want to know how sore his whole body is right now. I guess the only one who got hurt more today was that white-haired kid. If memory serves, Bellew almost took his arm off. I guess he was just playing with him, and he got so caught up in it, he forgot about me and paid for it.

First thing I'm gonna do when I get home is collapse on the couch and catch my breath. Good thing I'm here.

Home sweet home.

We live in a small, unremarkable three-storey building near the city centre. The entire third floor is rented specifically for all of us... our entire Specialisation Squad. There are four small bedrooms on the floor, each with one member of the squad, including me. One bathroom for everyone, but it's quite spacious. And of course in the centre of it all there is a big kitchen, which is also a gathering place for all other members of the squad and as a consequence our workplace, where we discuss all important issues, and in general just communicate.

This arrangement of rooms like ours is very convenient and is also used among other Passione squads.

Finally, I open the door and enter the kitchen, which is still empty. As soon as I took off my boots, I collapsed onto the couch that stood practically in the middle of the room.

Damn it, I could finally catch a break, my head was a little sore from Bellew's punching me.

- I see you took a beating in that fight,' came a voice from outside the room. - Not badly, but I got some pussy.

When I found the strength to get up from the couch, I saw that there was someone in the kitchen, though I hadn't noticed him right away.

A member of the Specialisation Squad, and also my best friend, Steve Glover. Average height and a little younger than me. He wears slightly torn jeans, a sleeveless shirt, and a bandana with dark hair peeking out from underneath. With his appearance, many would say he looks like a rock musician. Give him a guitar, let him go on stage and let him play some hard rock. Well, outwardly he really looks like a rock musician, but he is not a rock musician himself, as in principle he is a big rock fan, unlike me, for example. It's just the way he dresses.

- And I see you've already found out what happened. How did you find out?

- Well, it's just been on the telly, just now, the cafe and the record shop next to it. From the nature of the destruction, I quickly realised you were obviously involved.

- Well, you're right, I did.

- Who'd you fight?

- Oh, yeah, it was one of those scumbags.

- The Elimination Squad, huh? Which one?

- That arsehole Bellew.

- You've got yourself in a bit of a pickle, haven't you? You've got to be careful with an opponent like that, you let your guard down a little and your head'll be off your shoulders in no time, at best, if he wants to kill you quickly.

- Oh, come on. It's all over.

- Ha, it's all right. - Steve decided to sit down on the chair opposite me at the kitchen table nearby. - You don't have to risk your life all the time and hope for some imaginary luck. At this rate, you can kiss your life goodbye. And besides... with how easily you lose your temper, it's even more important. One day you'll lose your temper and make a fatal mistake, and I'll be standing over your grave cursing at you.

There's no point in denying it. He's absolutely right. Sometimes I rely too much on luck, and sooner or later it can come back to bite me. And when I'm angry, it's easy to go crazy and it's a little hard to control myself. You can get so messed up, it's hard to imagine. Today, I was a little crazy, but not too crazy. I was able to control myself and think clearly, although it did play a part.

- Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right,' I said, sighing heavily. - Wait a minute, what do you mean, imaginary luck? You don't believe in luck?

- I don't believe in luck. But I do believe in fate. I believe that you survived today in the first place because of fate. It happened because it had to happen and it couldn't have happened any other way.

- So we have no control over our own destiny and everything is already decided for us?

- Mm-hmm.

- You're a fatalist or something. Well, that's up to you, but I'm still gonna believe in luck. It makes me feel better.

- Whatever.

Wow, I've known Steve for a long time, but I've only just found out he's a fatalist. So, like he says, no-one can escape their destiny? I find that a little pessimistic. It's probably worse if you know your own fate. That would be a bit desperate. Even if it's true, it's better to think that you can at least make your own life.

But then the question arises, what is there to build? We seem to be living well under the wing of the Mafia, but it's not so rosy at first glance. And every day I have more and more doubts about what we're doing.

- By the way, Steve, I've been meaning to ask you, how do you feel about all this?

- What? What do you mean?

- About what we do. How do you feel about what we do? About Passione? How do you feel about our bosses?

- You're asking a lot of questions. How do I feel? To be honest, it's a bit contradictory. We live well, we have protection under Passione's wing, we get paid. Except.

Hmm? What's that doubt in Steve's voice? I thought he seemed fine with it.

- Except it's all a load of crap. - came a voice from outside.

Another man came in from the next room.

I wondered where he'd been.

- Hi, Patrick. - I said hello to him.

This is another member of the Specialisation Squad, Patrick Hughes. He's a tall guy of sturdy build, wearing unremarkable clothes, but with distinguished fiery red hair on his head that stands out like a tongue of flame.

I'd sort of sent him on a mission to take down an underground casino that was operating without authorisation from Passione, followed by the seizure of all the necessary documents. Well, he did it fast enough, and it's not even evening yet.

- You want to speak up too, Patrick? - Steve asked him.

- Yes, I do. I'm sorry to be rude, but this is all a load of bollocks. Sure, the Elimination Squad has it worse, but that's no reason to be satisfied with the way we're treated. If we weren't stand users, we'd be treated like rubbish. And besides... what defence against Passione is there to talk about? They have us all in fear here. If we disobey, there will be punishment, which could be severe.

- Yeah, but--

- But what, Steve? Don't tell me you've forgotten what they did to one of our own. You still remember that incident, don't you? The one where we became obedient, quivering bitches who can't even piss without permission but live better than the rest of us. Do you remember that?

To be honest, Patrick's never been a very restrained person. He's easy to piss off, and the person who pissed him off had no problem punching him in the face. But the anger I'm hearing in his voice is different now. It's not the kind of anger you get when you piss him off in a fight. No... it's something else entirely.

Meanwhile, glancing at Steve, I notice that he's darkening. His eyebrows furrowed a little, his smile completely gone, and his locked hands trembling.

And Steve and Patrick... I've rarely seen them like this, and in all the times I've seen them before I couldn't understand the reason for it, but now... now I understand them more and more. And I share their feelings.

- Patrick,' Steve finally answered him in a slightly grim voice. - Don't talk to me like I'm some kind of traitor who doesn't understand or share your feelings. You know very well that when all this happened, I was no less shocked than the rest of you. I was just as consumed by anger and fear then as all of you. And we all live with it, unable to do anything against those above us. We're all afraid the same thing might happen to us.

- But why don't we finally take a stand against it all? Why don't we just sit back and tuck our tails?

- I'm sorry, but... nobody wants a repeat of what happened.

- I think you're just chicken! You're afraid to stand up proudly and speak out against what's happening. You're used to fitting in and cowering like the last fossil!

- I'm--

I was about to stop them from arguing, but suddenly someone else intervened instead.

- That's enough! You're acting like two sheep!

Before I knew it, the last member of the Specialisation Squad, Trey Evans, was coming in from the next room. Of all of us, he's the oldest. He's thirty and fuckin' years old, though from the looks of it, he's only a little older than me.

- Thanks for interfering Trey,' I thanked him. - Though I was about to do it myself.

- Well, it happened. And as for you...' he turned to Steve and Patrick. - Stop bringing up this topic again.

- You can't do that! - Patrick said. - We can't just keep quiet all the time. We can't forgive them for what they did! They have to answer for it!

- Patrick, I understand you very well. It's really sad, but you've got to realise... you can't just go against the authorities. You have to realise how this could end.

- Yeah, but... but... but... it sucks, to be honest. - he sounded a lot more downcast. - I'd rather die with my head held high than live in fear.

Saddened, Patrick headed for the door.

- Where are you going? - Trey asked him.

- I want to go for a walk and get some fresh air.

- Yeah, of course he wants to go for a walk. I forbid you to go outside, and in principle to leave the territory of our floor.

Patrick tried to pull the handle and open the door, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get it open. His hands were shaking, but he couldn't open the door.

- Damn you Trey...you did it again. I just wanted to walk outside and nothing more. Let me out, please.

- Yeah, right, he just wanted to walk around. I can see right through you. You realise this is all for your own good, so you don't do anything stupid. So why don't you just stay here and calm down?

- You... Ehhh... I'll stay,' Patrick said with a heavy sigh. - You didn't leave me much of a choice anyway.

- That's fine.

A little calmer Patrick sat down at the table and later began to prepare dinner and tea for all of us. Soon he and Steve sat down at the same table and began to eat leisurely, apologising to their friend. I continued to lie on the couch, and Trey stood next to me and thought about something.

I've always been amazed by Trey, or rather that I became the leader and not him. He can perfectly settle conflicts, he always has a cool head, he has seen more in life, he is a better strategist and tactician than me. I once suggested that he be appointed to the position of leader, but he insisted that it suited me better. 'I'm a leader like a shit grenade. You'd better do it.' - that's what he said to me at the time. Although I still think he's better suited for it.

After almost a minute of watching Trey, I finally decided to ask him what he was thinking about.

- What are you thinking about, Trey?

- Huh? Me? Yeah, I'm thinking about my own stuff mostly.

- Yeah? Okay.

- Although you know... I'm still a little worried that lately the discontent has increased. Patrick almost snapped today, and we're not exactly standing idly by. I'm wondering when everyone's patience is going to run out.

- You think it's ever gonna happen?

- It's a long shot.

- Yeah, but I think tomorrow morning it'll be back to normal. It always does.

- You're right about that. Oh, by the way! - suddenly Trei intercepted. - You there is a letter from the bosses, with the next task.

- What?! And you were silent all this time?! And you were silent?! - I turned to the others.

- I didn't know anything. - Patrick said.

- I'd forgotten all about it. - said Steve.

- Fuck you... you... fuck you.

Fucking arseholes! They know that if they don't reply to a letter from their bosses in time, they can get in trouble. And they still don't say a word!

Sitting down at my work laptop, at which all the others are also sitting, I go to the post office and see that indeed came a letter from the bosses with a task. So, what have we got here? Mm-hmm. Right.

Eliminate the target. Another idiot who thinks he's special and can run his own business without bending over for Passione. There's been enough of those already, so it's no surprise.

Shit, why don't we assign the target to the appropriate squad?

The target needs to be eliminated tomorrow. Estimated location... oh shit... I don't like this shit.

- Hey, Steve! Come here.

Oh, no, I'm not doing that. Besides, I need to recover from my fight with Bellew.

- Yeah, what's up, Chris? - Steve asked when he came over to me and stared at his laptop. - Yeah, I see. Elimination, huh? And you want me to do it?

- That's right. I had a run-in with Bellew today, so I need to rest and recover from the fight.

- Sounds logical. All right, I'll do it.

- I believe in you. Be ready tomorrow.

Although this would probably work better for Trey, but Steve should be fine.

Eh, only one task for tomorrow, and Steve's gonna do it. Oh, bollocks. I guess you could say it's a day off. I was supposed to have one today, but I had the misfortune of running into Bellew, so it doesn't really count.

Also, I've been thinking about today's argument about squad life and stuff. It got me thinking about something I've thought about before.

I've tried to tell myself many times before that it's all the right thing to do. That you have to be patient and obey your bosses. That it'll all work out. That being in Passione's service wasn't so bad. Except that it's all a lie. Lies to myself first and foremost.

The truth is, I hate Passione.