Laundry Divers: An Erotic Lesbian LitRPG

Ch. 13: Mean & Green



The day really flew by. Jade was able to finish sampling ingredients and unlock her subclass in no time at all. Doing so added a full bar to the apartment, and the kitchen was upgraded to that of a chef. Experimenting with her subclass took up a lot of her time.

Nobody else was so lucky. Sabrina’s challenge required a monster, as did Sloan’s: “wrestle a monster into submission.” Alice’s was a lot more enigmatic: “hear how the dungeon differs from the way the universe sings.”

After a few challenges, Sloan and Alice each got a couple levels in Lust, in addition to their first pieces of armor. Sloan’s was a green hoodie, cut high enough to show underboob. The shade of green matched her pixie-cut hair, increasing suspicion that none of what they got was random.

Alice got more unique armor: a silky pink rope, which tied itself into a shibari harness when pressed against her body. Over this, she opted to wear a romper from Sabrina’s closet. Her new curves filled it nicely, finishing the job HRT had started.

They had an early dinner to leave time to hit the dungeon at sunset. Eating the alchemically fortified meal, Sabrina looked over her party. She had her amazing goofball of a girlfriend Jade, who made her feel capable of anything. Then there were the new members who seemed to be the most perfect choices she could hope for in a team.

Alice had an inquisitive mind, compassionate heart, and potent drive. She was a great dungeon master, due to her committed performances, attention to detail, and ability to account for what everybody needed. She was incredibly talented at art and music, because she dedicated all the time and effort it took to master a skill. Crucially, she was an encyclopedia for the RPG tropes that the dungeon seemed to be run by.

Sabrina never understood Sloan fully, but she was a great friend. Sloan took to combat sports very well, where she displayed a disturbing shade of rage. At the same time, though, nobody had ever seen her reject or even question a request for help. Whether someone needed a ride to the airport to help bringing a piano up ten flights of stairs, she just got it done without whining about it. Plus, Sabrina had seen how she is in team sports. Sloan turned every team into a family, despite hooking up with most of the members. Also, despite being a flashy show-off, she gladly filled any role in a team and gave it her all.

Sabrina had no doubt. This was the party. Maybe more members could be added, but a foundation like this was unbreakable. More than just being useful, they were people who deserved magical powers. She trusted fully that in their hands, any amount of power would make the world a better place, even if it was also a naughtier place.

So, with that confidence, Sabrina led her party down the rabbit hole. Despite how much proof they had that this wasn’t all a practical joke, the new members were still shocked to see the dungeon was real.

They were instructed to stay back so Sabrina and Jade could power level them. To their credit, they did— for about thirty seconds. Sloan’s self-assuredness and Alice’s curiosity drove them to pop open a dryer and get a taste of combat. After all, a pair of underpants or a sweater weren’t that big of a deal.

Of course, life had other plans. It was unfair, really. After a few nights, a clear pattern had been established that the first room’s only threat was living laundry, with the exception of one hazardous puzzle. This was a sort of tutorial room, however, and it had one painful lesson left to teach: that they know nothing.

The only thing Sloan and Alice saw when they opened the dryer was a blinding white flash and a bolt of lighting brought their belt bars down to a tiny sliver and knocked them flat of their asses. Sabrina and Jade immediately sprung to action but were stopped in their tracks when a little green woman burst out of the dryer and held a dagger to Sloan’s neck. She looked to Sabrina and Jade as she hissed to emphasize her threat.

Two more of them crawled out of the dryer, one with an axe and the other with a wooden staff that emitted a purple glow at the end. They were all green, and between two to three feet tall, with pointy ears and sharp teeth. They were goblins, Sabrina figured. Strangely, they were all female, and wearing only loincloths, leaving their disproportionately large breasts to swing free.

Sabrina was in absolute crisis. The goblins clearly held all of the cards here, one move from wiping out half, if not all of them. But then one more second passed than what Sabrina would have expected without the goblins making their next move. Their eyes kept returning to the same thing: Jade’s tits.

That one little foothold was the difference between certain doom and a hope at victory in Sabrina’s mind. She made eye contact with Jade for a split second, and that glance told her they were on the same page. These were humanoid monsters, which meant their Lust perks should have an effect.

“Hey, hey, calm down,” Jade called out. It was time to test out her bonus to persuasion. “Why don’t you just lower your weapons so we can resolve this peacefully?” The blades to the downed girls’ throats and staff pointed straight to her were eased an inch away. The goblins quickly caught themselves, however, and put them back with a round of growls and hisses. “Whoa, hey, that’s alright! Let’s just chill a second. You don’t trust us, I get that. I think if we all just take a minute to think about this, we can make sure you get everything you want. Okay?”

The main goblin gave a distrusting, but amicable huff through her nose in response. Jade would just have to work with that. She continued, “okay, great. I can tell you’re reasonable gals. So are we. I think under different circumstances we’d be friends. Maybe we still can be.” A soft growl indicated she should get to some kind of point already.

“If it’s fine by you, I’d love to come just a little bit closer to get a look at your beauty.” With that she took a step forward. Sabrina followed behind, facing away so that her wiggling butt kept her unnoticed. “You’ve still got your weapons up, you’ve got all the power here. We wouldn’t dream of making a move.”

A few more steps, now. The goblins seemed tense but didn’t make a move. With less distance, their eyes didn’t seem capable of looking anywhere but Jade’s boobs and Sabrina’s ass. Sabrina took advantage by getting on all fours, popping the bottom of her bodysuit open and crawling backwards towards the goblins. They didn’t seem to even question it when she got closer than Jade and began closing the distance.

Taking another step, Jade said, “my name is Jade. Why don’t you tell me yours?”

The leader goblin grunted before reluctantly answering with a gravely voice, “Sparks.”

“Sparks! I love that, it’s a very pretty name for a very pretty lady. Would you mind telling us what you want from us?”

Sparks shrugged. “Dunno. Loot. Blood-fun…” She narrow her eyes at Jade’s chest, and added, “fuckmeat.”

Jade gave a friendly chuckle. “Well all you ever had to do was ask. Lower that staff and I’ll give you all the fuckmeat you can handle.” Jade swung her tits from side to side, and the goblin was so enthralled that she actually lowered the staff.

Just then, Sabrina sprang up and did a one-eighty, using the momentum of her swing to stab the goblin over Alice right in the head. The leader screamed and pointed her staff to Jade, now bolting right for her. She shot another bolt of lightning, this one seeming less potent with her broken focus. The shock hurt, but Jade’s perk took effect on keeping her from being pushed away.

Jade swung just once with her sword, powering it up with Heavy Hitter. That empowered impact split the goblin down the middle, each half quickly fizzling into ashy husks.

The third one didn’t even get a chance to react before Sloan yanked her axe away and tossed it to the ground. Not opting for the easy way, Sloan yanked the goblin down and got her into a full-Nelson. She kept her pinned as the goblin flexed every muscle in her body in an attempt to break free. Ultimately, the goblin tired herself out.

Once the goblin was placid, Sloan demanded, “submit!”

“I submit,” the goblin wheezed. “I am yours by conquest.”

With that, Sloan unlocked her subclass and was rewarded with three ‘capture pods.’ She pulled out from her inventory, a pill-shaped device just large enough to fill her palm.

“Get in this thing,” she ordered. The goblin bowed, and phase-shifted into a mist that was quickly sucked up into the pod.

It all happened so fast. Anything Sloan did would sound like nonsense if Sabrina ever tried to tell people about it. Unsure how to address it, they moved on.

Jade handed out tequila-based health potions to her injured friends, then joined Sabrina in looking over the loot. The loot went straight to the inventory of whoever got the kill. In addition to the ingredients, each got a different brand-new jelly type. There was a purple star for Jade and a green eye for Sabrina.

“Huh,” Sabrina said nervously. “Who should…”

“You guys earned them,” Alice cut off. “You cool with that, Sloan?”

Sloan nodded certainly. Sabrina and Jade didn’t argue, and popped their jellies. Jade went first.

>[Mysticism] has reached lvl 1!

>No class. (4/6) Aspects unlocked. Unlock (6/6) to gain a class.

>In the absence of a class, your points have been allocated automatically.

>New spell: electrify. Expend moderate mana to imbue an object with an electrical charge that discharges on contact with a target.

Much like with Lust, she noticed a hidden benefit to Magic. A new gauge joined her HP, this one being mana.

Sabrina popped hers next.

>[Sensation] has reached lvl 1!

>No class. (4/6) Aspects unlocked. Unlock (6/6) to gain a class.

Perplexingly, Sensation gave no further description. Its benefits still announced themselves right away. All of Sabrina’s senses were significantly magnified, though. Her vision was clear, far sharper than twenty-twenty, and the shadows obscured nothing. She heard everyone’s heartbeats, along with which machines had rustling laundry-monsters hiding inside. She smelled what kind of dirt everyone’s shoes had walked on. She tasted the traces of Jade’s saliva still in her mouth from before they started the delve.

More importantly, none of it overwhelmed her. The increase in senses came with a widening of her sensory bandwidth. She could take in a lot more without sensory overload. She even suspected that her tolerance for disgust was significantly raised. This was in part because the increased definition only made Jade and the others appear more attractive, rather than uncanny.

Sabrina didn’t care that sensation wasn’t accompanied by any perks or skills. This was enough on its own. It improved her mind and her body, but also the whole world as she perceived it.

Above all else, Sabrina was sure of one thing: fucking Jade tonight was going to be amazing.



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