Love Business

When we lose somebody, sometimes we ask ourselves:

Am I not good enough?

Was everything I did meaningless?

Slowly, doubts creep in, eating us alive until, eventually, we lose ourselves.

Zee stares at his phone screen longer than usual, his gaze almost piercing the glass, as if trying to calm his heart, which feels like it's slowly bleeding.

"You seem unusually attached to your phone today," Ta greets him with a pat on the shoulder. Zee quickly flips the screen down, not wanting Ta to see what he's been watching.

"Did you get the list?" Zee asks. Ta hands him the file, and Zee flips it open, rechecking the contents.

"As requested by the dean, you'll handle juniors with the best grades based on the evaluation exam," Ta explains.

Zee's brows knit together.

"That's biased. We agreed to balance the groups between the top, average, and weaker students!" Zee argues.

"Yes, the rest of the groups were classified that way—except yours," Ta responds.

"But why?" Zee asks, frustration clear on his face.

"The dean says they want the valedictorian candidate to mentor the future valedictorians. Besides, mentoring students with poor grades would take up too much of your time, and that would be inconvenient," Ta replies with a sigh, looking at the list again.

"I did my best, my friend, but that's how it works," he says softly.

Zee studies the list again, going through each name. Finally, he sighs and arranges the papers back into the file.

"At least, I can help with one thing," Ta says with a sly smile. Zee feels a flush of heat rising to his face.

"What do you mean?" Zee asks. Ta snickers and hands Zee his phone.

"I'm sure you know what I mean. Hashtag ZeePan…"

"Ai Shia Ta…"

"Or should I support Team CrayPan? They look ridiculously cute!" Ta flashes a grin. Zee glares at him, turning his head away.

"Ter…"

Bear walks into the room, a smile on his face. Ta lifts his head, signaling his lover to come in for a hug.

"Sorry I'm late! If I stayed longer, Miss Kuan might have invited me for a sleepover! Luckily, Kitty cut the conversation and reminded me about the orientation," Bear says as Ta affectionately pats his hair.

"It's fine. We're taking a break for a bit. Kim and Seth are handling the kids right now," Ta replies. Bear nods and glances at Zee.

"What's up with him?" Bear asks. Ta laughs and gives Zee a knowing look.

"Single-man syndrome…"

"Ai sutt…" Zee throws a crumpled piece of paper at him. They laugh, watching as Zee turns pink, looking like a sulking cat with side-eye.

"Oh, I thought Team ZeePan was real?"

"If so, he's got a strong contender…"

"Team CrayPan?"

"Just stop it, you two!" Zee snaps, grabbing his bag, ready to leave.

"Where are you going?" Ta asks, still laughing.

"Auditorium 3!" Zee shouts in frustration as he exits.

***

Pan scans the auditorium, feeling uneasy. She's noticed the stares since she arrived.

Did someone see Cray and me earlier? Ugh, I told him that was a bad idea!

"Pan, are you okay?" Han asks, noticing her discomfort.

"Everyone's staring at me. Am I really that hideous?" she whispers back.

"Pal, if you were ugly, there's no way you'd catch the attention of the Econ Moon of this institute," Han replies, smirking.

"Shia… I knew it!" she exclaims, slamming her hand on the desk. Though not loud, the sound echoes across the room.

"0818!"

Both Han and Pan jump in their seats.

It's Kim. And now, he's standing between them.

"Do you have a problem, teerak?" Kim leans in, too close for Pan's comfort. She rubs her nose, signaling Han for help. He quickly understands and cups Kim's face between his palms, turning it toward him.

"Nothing's wrong, khun krab…"

Kim swats Han's hands away, his brows furrowing as he turns back to Pan.

"Is he bothering you?" Kim asks softly.

"Not at all, senior…" Pan shakes her head slightly, shifting a little further away.

"Temporary disabled coming through! Make some room! Move, move!"

Kitty barrels through, pushing Kim out from between Han and Pan. She helps Yara into her seat, shooting a glare at the BBA playboy.

"Senior Kim, what are you doing?" Kitty grins sarcastically.

"Taking care of the juniors, of course!" he says, his face now serious.

"Not here, you're not! Come on!"

"But—"

"No buts! Or I'll roast your butt for real!" Kitty scolds, dragging Kim away, his whining echoing as they leave.

"He'll never stop, will he?" Yara asks. Pan shakes her head, feeling completely done with Kim's antics.

"Anyway, what's up with you and the Econ senior?" Han asks, raising an eyebrow. Pan sighs, giving him a side-eye.

"Nothing happened. End of story. Thanks," she replies half-heartedly.

"Do you know why everyone's staring at you?" Han asks. Pan turns toward him.

"Because of this…" Han shows his phone to Pan. She gasps at the screen.

"Shia! What the—"

"Congratulations! You've been shipped!" Han says, shaking her hand with mock seriousness.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Yara asks, her innocent Bambi eyes wide with curiosity.

"It depends," Han replies.

"On what?" she asks again.

"Which team are you on? Team CrayPan or Team ZeePan?" Han smirks. Yara blinks, clearly processing the new information.

"Which one's better?" she asks. The Q&A session has officially begun.

"Take a look at these photos…" Han pulls up the campus Twitter. Two photos of Pan, one with Cray and one with Zee.

"Enough, Han. Don't drag Yara into this."

"I just want to hear her opinion…"

"It doesn't matter. They're both wrong anyway!" Pan pushes the phone away, but Yara holds onto it.

"Well, we should support our faculty, right? But… Senior Zee is too intense!" Yara sighs.

"So, Team CrayPan?" Han teases.

"I don't know him well, but he seems like a good guy," Yara shrugs. Pan shakes her head.

"Nothing happened between us! Please stop shipping me with them!" she says, almost on the verge of tears. Han chuckles, while Yara continues staring at the pictures.

"Pan, I think Senior Zee likes you…"

Pan freezes, choking on her saliva. She waves her hand dismissively, quickly denying it.

"Care to explain your reasoning?" Han asks, intrigued.

"The way he looks at Pan… it's different. He watches her like she's an angel. The Econ guy likes her too, but Senior Zee's gaze… it's like he's been longing for her for a long time!"

"Jeez, you watch too many series!" Han laughs.

"I'm serious! Look at this!" she points at the picture. "Anyone can see it—it's crystal clear!"

Pan sneaks a glance at the photo. It does look sweet in a delusional shipper kind of way. But the truth? Only she and Zee know.

"Let's drop it. We need to finish this worksheet before the seniors bust us," Pan says, feeling uneasy as the conversation lingers. She's worried the longer they talk, the closer they'll get to revealing her secret.

"Attention, everyone!"

Ta's voice echoes through the room. All the freshmen immediately focus on him.

"I have two announcements to make. First, the BBA Student Board will hold an activity called Mentorship. Each of you will be assigned to a group under the supervision of a senior mentor. You can check the bulletin board for your group after this," Ta says, glancing at Zee. Zee gives a small nod.

"And… there's more…"

He pauses, building anticipation.

"We, the seniors, have decided it's best to conduct an activity called The Signup. Each freshman must collect 80 signatures from seniors by the end of the month…"

Whispers ripple through the auditorium. The pressure is palpable, and some students start to voice their frustrations.

"What is this? We're not engineers!" one student yells.

"We don't have time to run around begging for signatures like dogs!" another protests.

"We've got classes, assignments, and projects! We can't waste time on this!"

The situation heats up quickly. Some seniors in the auditorium are starting to lose their cool, but Ta, Bear, and Zee remain calm. They exchange knowing glances.

"0818…"

Pan stiffens. Ta just called her number, and now everyone in the auditorium is staring at her.

"Yes, Senior Ta?" she replies nervously.

"Stand up," he orders.

Pan slowly stands, the room falling into a tense silence. She can hear her heartbeat—it's that quiet.

"What's your opinion on this?" Ta asks.

Pan's eyes widen in shock.

What am I supposed to say?