Meddling The Omniverse

Location: outside Axel City

"So the quest we got is the 'frog' hunting quest is supposed to be safe, right?" a teenage boy read the quest papers in some bushes.

"Yes, out of the available ones, this is the safest one." A handsome man replied atop the trees.

"So let me get this straight," Kazuma remarked with skepticism, "Hunting those elephant-sized carnivorous frogs that can AND WILL swallow a man's whole is the 'safest' quest around here?" 

"Kazuma, the next 'safest' quest we got is to hunt a truck-sized lion with wings, so this is the closest thing we could get." Replied the handsome man, also known as Seth. They watched as gigantic frogs hopped around the nearby plains from afar.

As they observed the massive amphibians, a boar passed by one of them, and before it knew anything, a gigantic tongue suddenly latched to it and the rest is history.

Yes… Real safe… Kazuma muttered under his breath, feeling unease in his heart.

Suddenly in the distance, Kazuma and Seth saw a blue-haired girl running in the open.

"KAZUMA! Behold! The might of god! Bow before me as you awe in its strength!" Aqua proclaimed as she charged with a glowing fist.

"GOD BLOW!!!" A mighty punch was unleashed by Aqua against the frog, and a small shockwave spread from it. Too bad she punched the belly, causing it to jiggle violently, but not much else.

"Ehh… Seth… Please help!" Aqua spoke as the frog's tongue lashed out at her, instantly taking her to its mouth.

*tsk* Kazuma clicked his tongue, Note to self, Aqua is about as useful as a wet noodle in combat, dedicate Aqua to the support role ONLY. He made a mental note to himself in frustration.

 "Seth, we have to do something," Kazuma asked but no reply came.

"Seth?" Kazuma looked around and spotted Seth also charging towards the frog who had swallowed Aqua.

He ran with the agility of a professional athlete. With a snap of his fingers, jagged gauntlets magically equipped themselves to his arm like a mech.

"Stone HENGE!" Seth exclaimed, summoning a magic spell circle beneath his feet. A stone pillar shot out of the ground, Launching Seth into the sky like a cannon.

As he soared, a shout echoed, "WOMAN! THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU'VE DONE THIS! IF YOU WANT TO USE 'GOD BLOW'! AIM FOR THE EYE OR SKULL!"

Seth's fist, equipped with the gauntlet, gleamed as he descended gracefully onto the frog right between its two eyes.

"GOD BLOW!!!" He Shouted, delivering a devastating punch on the frog's forehead, crushing its skull and reducing its inside to mush. A small Earthquake-like tremor spread as the light from the frog's eyes disappeared, extinguishing its life instantly.

Another note to self, never anger Seth, EVER! Kazuma etched it into his memory.

The frog collapsed lifeless to the ground, mouth wide open, and Aqua crawled out from it. 

Still covered in frog slime and spit, She cried as she embraced Seth,  "WAAA!!!! THANK YOU SETH! My life was flashing before my eyes!"

The flashy combat caught the attention of the other frogs, drawing them closer to the two gods. Seeing this Seth swiftly scooped up Aqua, admonishing her, "Aqua, aim for the head next time."

He  dashed towards Kazuma, who protested, "What are you doing!?"

"You need to practice! I'm not gonna babysit you all the time! As your first true step as an adventurer, go kill them! I'll save you when needed! I can't always be here!" Seth shouted sharply.

Ugh… Fine! Reluctantly, Kazuma emerged from the bushes, With a bow in hand. Two arrows flew, and with it, a frog fell in agony.

One of the frogs hopped near Kazuma, Sh*t! Melee it is! Kazuma thought, drawing his sword, and charged forward like a true champion.

As he charged, he recounted the event that had brought him to this moment.

—

"Anyway, where's Seth?" Kazuma asked while scarfing down Seth's delicious stew

"Bach yard, smihing some schuff (back yard, smithing some stuff)," Aqua replied, chewing and grabbing a bottle of wine from who knows where.

seeing that, something inside Kazuma clicked, "Aqua, I can see that you are being a burden again."

"You can't say that to a goddess! Aren't you the same!"

"No! I am doing multiple jobs just like Seth, trying to keep us afloat. Other than construction, you DID NOTHING ELSE! A COMPLETE DEADWEIGHT! YET YOU STILL DARE TO WASTE MONEY AND BUY THAT DRINK?!" Kazuma's tone was furious.

Yes, All three of us now worked in construction because of an 'incident' they caused.  

"but you barred me from every other job in town!"

"BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT US MORE DEBT THAN SALARY WHEN YOU DID!"

Aqua has flunked and sabotaged almost every business she touched, like flooding a whole smithy with water and ruining dozens of batches of hot metal intended for weapons. Seth and I had to take additional jobs like blacksmithing, carpentry, and cooking to cover her debts and make ends meet. Besides mandatory construction work and one other job, she is hopeless. Kazuma remarked in his mind.

Kazuma continued in his mind, Yes, the one other job she didn't screw up was as a tailor because it allowed her to flaunt her 'master of arts' title and skills, but why DID SHE BARELY DO HER JOB!? I'M NOT TAKING 'MY STANDARDS ARE TOO HIGH' AND 'NEED TO BE INSPIRED FIRST' AS EXCUSES! At least a single of her artwork earned us months' worth of pay. 

With anger, he confronted her, "Seth and I built this house from scratch. What did you do back then? You just cheered from the sideline! You barely did any while SETH AND I BUSTED OUR BUTTS! NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, WHERE DID YOU GET THE MONEY TO BUY THAT BOTTLE!?" Kazuma's gaze turned intense.

"Seth was too stingy, only a bottle a week? It should have been three." Aqua clarified.

Kazuma facepalmed and deflated, She is a lost cause. He muttered loudly, "No point arguing with a lost cause…"

"AH, I see you finally understand… HEY!" she heard his mutter and became frisky. Ignoring her, Kazuma ate his dinner.

"Also, I'm Telling Seth." Kazuma pointed at the bottle.

Aqua's face instantly turned green, "NO! PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" begging Kazuma to keep it a secret.

"Too late." Seth appeared from behind and snatched her bottle to confiscate it.

Aqua latched to Seth's feet and thigh with tears in her eyes, "AHH!!! PLEASE SETH! NO! PLEASE JUST LET ME *sniffle* FINISH THIS ONE BOTTLE!"

"I would be fine with it if you didn't use OUR SHARED bonus from construction work to buy this," Seth spoke, his face resembling the devil.

Kazuma looking at this recalled something: Seth and Aqua were no joke construction masters, building at the speeds no normal 'humans' could match. 

Unfortunately, their seamless coordination at work led others to believe they were a couple (rumors didn't help). Because of this, they were given a unified bonus to 'build a family' together. 

She wasted that money on booze. Money that could be used for emergencies. She's a real piece of work. I feel bad for you Seth, for knowing and 'being together' with her longer than I have. Kazuma sipped his juice as Aqua's cries and begging grew louder in the background.

Still, you know what's funny? They do look like a married couple. Look at them. This is the classic scenario of the wife confiscating her husband's money before he squanders it, except in this case, Seth's the 'wife'. And Aqua… even hugged Seth's leg like a typical husband from a cheesy sitcom.

"Ahh… how did we end up like this." He remembered that they were also adventurers. Too bad all the easy monsters were almost exterminated around this city; causing beginner quests to be non-existent if you didn't count the odd jobs. 

All that's left are those massive raid boss quests, Seth could manage it on his own, but throw Aqua and me into the mix, and we're dead meat! GAHH! The easy straightforward RPG plot I was supposed to have is a complete joke! all adventurers here are just glorified, expendable odd-job laborers! Kazuma watched as Seth decided to chug Aqua's whole wine bottle, while Aqua screeched as if her precious baby was murdered.

Why were we stuck with dead-end jobs? Why are we even adventurers when the quests are death sentences!? Why was she even here again!? OH YEAH! To… defeat the… demon… king…

"CHOTTO MATTE YOU TWO!" Kazuma shouted. It got both Seth's and Aqua's attention.

"We are supposed to defeat the demon king for F*CK SAKES!"

Aqua's eyes widened, and she replied with urgency, "Yes! That's right! I can't go home if the demon king isn't defeated! Kazuma, something needs to be done here!"

"You gonna say something, Seth?" Kazuma asked.

"Not really, I'm only stuck here for maybe a week more. I'm supposed to 'occasionally' help you or something. So just call me any time when you need help, I am technically your cheat too." Seth answered with nonchalant. The mood was sort of killed but Kazuma pressed on.

"Then why are we doing ALL THESE JOBS?! We should be training me to become a buff unkillable hunk!" Kazuma questioned with anger.

"I did. Look at you now, remove your tracksuit." Seth used ice magic to create a reflective mirror (didn't use creation power because it makes him dizzy).

Kazuma complied, walked towards the mirror, and finally paid attention to his physique for the first time in this world.

"My biceps! I have ABS?!"  Kazuma exclaimed as he observed the slight definition in his muscles all over his body. While still scrawny and a bit flabby, sculpted muscles are now hidden underneath it.

"All those odd jobs we did were specifically designed to build your strength, carrying bricks, chopping wood, and hitting hot ingots all require physical exertion, perfect for workouts. The cozy log cabin we built provides an optimal place for muscle generation and growth during sleep. And of course, this." Seth instantly scooped a ladle worth of stew and sipped it.

"The dishes I cooked follow athlete dietary guidelines, packed with protein for muscle growth. Of course, a touch of 'magic' from a god like me helps to speed up the process." Seth proclaimed as he flicked his hand, causing sparkles of magic to flutter from it

Overwhelmed with gratitude, Kazuma dropped to his knees, and bowed deeply, "THANK YOU SETH-SAMA! YOU HAVE GIVEN ME A CHANCE TO LOOK LIKE A TRUE PROTAGONIST! IT'S NOT THERE YET BUT I DON'T CARE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE WASTING OUR TIME HERE!"

Well, I sort of did. Seth secretly thought.

"Hey, what about the goddess me?" Aqua asked.

"YOU DID NOTHING! All day you were just a leech!" Kazuma shot back.

Like thunder, Aqua felt stabbed in the heart, she wanted to defend herself but couldn't rebut it since she really hadn't done much. With it she slowly retreated and curled herself into a corner, muttering apologies under her breath.

"Anyway… even if I should train my body more, we should do those quests and gain exp. Training alone is not enough! Seth! Help me find the easiest, wait, no… they don't exist here… Find me the 'safest' quest possible for us to do!"

"Sure." Seth nodded.

"YOSHA! MY FIRST STEP AS A PROTAGONIST BEGINS TOMORROW!" Kazuma shouted as he did a victory pose.

—

That was what ran through Kazuma's mind as he saw seven frogs lying dead in front of him (not counting the one who ate Aqua).

Five were killed by him through a combination of swordsmanship, archery, and magic, while the other two were one-shotted by Seth with a single spell to save his ass.

Kazuma admitted it's a good thing that before all this, he asked Seth to train him in the ways of combat. If it weren't for him, things would have gotten a lot more messier.

But still, Seth, please stay longer! You're too useful! I can't imagine dealing with this world with that goddess all alone! Kazuma thought with a heavy heart and tears. 

"Sorry, I can't just stay here with Aqua, but you can always emergency call me later," Seth telepathically replied as he reprimanded Aqua.

"Now that you mentioned it, maybe we should recruit new members to our party, you can't always rely on me all the time," Seth telepathically told Kazuma as he finished giving Aqua a piece of his mind.