Memoirs of an Isekai in Naruto

Log 19 I am F***ed

Ok so yeah this log will not be going into my original topic. I think I need to warn you guys why I might "accidentally" commit auto-defenestration in the future. 

I, the genius I am suggested and explained to your mother the idea of fostering some children because she was really and I mean really looking forward to raising a little girl and has been disappointed that she has only gotten two boys so far.

Nothing against you being boys your mother would not love you both any less. It's that she has always wanted little girls which is the reason she dressed you guys up in frilly, puffy, pink little girl clothes as children. 

I tried to stop her but she could snap me like a pretzel however you can thank me later, if I still live, for hiding those photos from your mom or she would certainly show your wives those scrapbooks one day.

Ok, the issue I am freaking out about didn't even stem from the fact I didn't know that Konoha didn't even have a foster system, but what your mom did.

No, it wasn't Upon finding out our village didn't have this system she proceeded to explain to the matriarch how the system I told her worked.

Nor was it after she explained the idea of the foster system she proceeded to fulfill her fantasy of adopting all the girls she could while I was busy trying to get my business in order after the attack.

I wouldn't have prepared for the attack in any way outside the norm for my company or I might be saddled with suspicions.

I didn't know all of this was going down but I expected the worst-case scenario she could get ahold of two or three young girls due to the overcrowding. Most likely all she could do would meet a few little girls with personalities she liked and take us with her to fill out some paperwork and adopt them.

I mean worse case and I was wrong and we adopted a few kids I have made some good money and it's not like it would be a strain on our house to introduce a few little girls after the attack. It would reduce the burden on our cities' overtaxed orphan programs, right? 

She fucking came home with Naruto not fostered but fucking adopted. How the hell can the village allow adoption without both the parents' consent? 

Sure I was originally ok with it but she also did it in one fucking day I mean shouldn't there be an investigation process for any children especially the fucking nine tails. This is another strike against you Hiruzen I don't know how this is your fault but I just know it is and you likely fucked me. The roots will definitely shank my ass. 

Maybe that's the point, he will have us killed and take our business with Naruto as a proxy as he would become the sole inheritor. 

'Kids if you are reading this log then this is the reason why I was so insistent you teach Naruto our secret language as soon as you could and why I never wanted you two to graduate early expecially if anything ever happened to me. No way can I imagine the root not accidentally leaking your mission details.

Let this be a warning Naruto if you are reading this and the rest of my family has died it was Danzo. Wait before you run off and do something stupid please for ours and all those that Danzo would put at risk if you fight him please become stronger first and fight him outside the city. 

He is damned hard to kill reviving after death for every eye stolen and implanted in his arm, he also has a brainwashing technique which as a jinchuriki I am not sure will work on you but better safe than sorry. 

Finally, he is a sore loser and would likely try to kill himself and everyone around him even the innocent of not with a dangerous suicidal skill in his final moments.

Finally, the other three books I plan on storing away with this log in case of my death are everyone's baby girly dress scrapbooks sealed to be fire-resistant. I bequeath each of you the book of your elder siblings as blackmail material like a true ninja family should.'

Back to the important not so sappy stuff. You know what? When I asked her why she chose the boy she claimed his whiskers were cute. I mean what! Our village was just literally attacked by the nine-tailed fox and the idea of her being traumatized by foxish characteristics was not even in the cards. 

Kids this is a warning not to fall in love and marry the crazies no matter how hot or good the… back to the topic!

I mean she goes there to foster like a dozen little girls to fulfill her fantasies right!? Instead, she comes home with one fox-looking boy after the city was just attacked by the nine tails. I almost thought she was under a genjutsu or was secretly a root spy all this time for a second.

After a long interrogation, I mean investigation, probably best to call it a long talk. Followed by well let's just say we were working on getting everyone a little sister all I found out was three things. 

In order of her priority, as she claims, he was cute followed by cause he was foxish no one else would likely want him being so young and vulnerable, and thirdly he reminded her of a friend from school. How does a wrinkly raisin remind you of your school friends I think we both knew the second two were just bull.

In the end, she just wanted someone cute to dress up like a doll and I don't know what to do. She might have just doomed us but at the same time if you two live you guys will have a photo album of Naruto in girly dresses a child to lord over him when he becomes the Hokage. Do with this information what you will.