Miss, It’s Just a Cold

Chapter 30: “Relationship.”

Despite Ernst’s promise to help, nothing much changed.

All it meant was that he accompanied me to the hospital.

Not that it was particularly useful—he couldn’t carry me there, nor did we ride a separate carriage.

“…You’ve been coming to places like this all along?” Ernst whispered, reacting to the screams echoing through the hospital.

“What do you mean, ‘places like this’? When commoners are sick, they don’t call a physician to their house—they come here. And this place isn’t so bad….”

– “Aaaaaah! No, don’t cut it off! It still moves!”

 – “It’s already rotten—we have to amputate. Hey, put a towel in his mouth or something.”

“…Hmm.”

Of course, that’s when a scream like that had to ring out.

After waiting a while in the chair, I went to see the old doctor.

When he noticed Ernst by my side, he smirked like he’d proven himself right about something.

As he examined me for any changes, I turned to Ernst and spoke in a low voice.

“Ernst, can you pay today? I don’t have any money.”

“…Then how have you been managing until now?”

“They said someone would eventually show up to cover my bill, so they’ve just been treating me in the meantime.”

Ernst frowned slightly, looking like he didn’t quite understand, but he reached into his coat, pulled out a gold coin, and handed it to the old man.

The man’s face lit up with a grin wide enough to split his ears. He cheerfully filled a bag with the usual medicine I took and handed it to Ernst.

“By the way, can I have some more painkillers?”

“Miss, if you take more than the dose I’ve already given you, it’ll harm you.

And don’t take it more than twice a day.”

“…Isn’t giving medicine when asked about your job?”

“…….”

The doctor sighed and went back inside, returning not with pills but with some dried, mixed herbs.

“Only use this if it’s truly unbearable.”

I nodded and left the hospital with Ernst.

Feeling lightheaded, I decided to rest for a while on a bench we passed on the way. Ernst sat down beside me.

“…That bag you brought last time, was it all medicine?”

“Why, is that a problem?”

“I didn’t realize and thought it’d be funny to run with it for fun….” Ernst trailed off, sounding deeply remorseful.

But that day, I felt genuinely happy for the first time in a long while.

And the only person who could make me feel that way was my friend, Ernst. He was the only one.

Not my parents, not my siblings, not Aria, whom I’d only recently gotten to know, and certainly not the other young ladies whose names I could barely remember from our idle conversations. None of them were my friends.

If everyone else was like filth I’d gladly see disappear, Ernst was like the stray cat whose gaze I always seemed to meet on the street.

“Me? I had fun. Running for the first time in ages felt refreshing.”

“And then you collapsed on the ground.”

“That was just because I’m out of shape, not because I’m sick.”

“People don’t just collapse like that because they’re out of shape.”

I stood and resumed walking, taking a shortcut to the mansion.

It was an inconvenient path, overgrown with weeds and wildflowers, fragrant with the scent of grass.

In a secluded place like this, it could almost seem like a secret rendezvous.

Though I’d offered to carry the medicine myself, Ernst insisted on holding the bag. As he walked beside me, I spoke up.

“Hey, Ernst.”

“What?”

“You still haven’t answered me. What kind of relationship do we have?”

“I don’t really know how to answer that.”

Neither do I.

That’s why I keep asking.

Some people find joy in discovering what they don’t know, but for me, it’s never felt enjoyable.

Ernst placed the medicine bag down beside a tree.

The distinct, sterile smell of refined medicine wafted through the air.

“But, like I said before, it’s not the kind of relationship you’re thinking of with Aria.”

“What kind of relationship is that?”

“…We’re not lovers or romantically interested in each other. We just… happened to become close, that’s all.”

“You don’t have to justify it to me.

It’s only natural for people to like other people.”

Of course, it has to be with someone “normal.”

And both Ernst and Aria are, by all accounts, perfectly normal people.

Aria is a charming, ideal woman, and Ernst isn’t any different.

Maybe I envy them.

But it’s not jealousy.

To feel jealousy, your opponent has to be in the same league as you.

Even I would’ve been left speechless by Aria if my body had only been what it once was.

She has the kind of face that seems like it belongs in a world more perfect than this one.

If it’s such a bother, just push it to the side and forget about it.

You’ve already done enough by coming to the hospital today.

Besides, the doctor said it—just keep taking the medicine, and I’ll get better.

It felt like I was sugarcoating things for Ernst’s sake.

But maybe I really would get better.

I was doing what that old doctor said—eating diligently and taking the medicine.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t gaining any weight, though.

Ernst suddenly grabbed my shoulders, pinning me against the tree, his voice slightly annoyed.

“Stop saying things like that—it’s not a bother.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re some worthless person.”

“But it’s true, I—ouch! That hurts! Let go of my shoulders!”

Don’t ask what kind of relationship we have.

Just think of it however you want.

If that’s what you want, I’ll go along with it.

“Even if what I want is the kind of relationship my mother dreams of?”

“Yes.”

He answered with complete conviction.

An awkward silence settled between us.

We sat side by side, quietly gazing at the surrounding trees.

Ernst, perhaps trying to break the tension, brought up a topic.

It wasn’t a particularly pleasant one, though.

“…So, are you hiding this from your parents too?”

“Yeah.”

Who knows what they’d do if they found out?

They might claim my illness was contagious, lock me in my room, and nail wooden boards over the door.

Then they’d leave me to starve, refusing to send food.

I’d die slowly, soiling the room without even being able to use the bathroom.

Without water, I’d wither away in three days.

Yeah, they’d absolutely do that.

Ernst’s face twisted with complicated emotions, so I added:

“Don’t say anything. If you do, all the money you just spent on hospital bills will have been for nothing.”

Ernst walked me back to the mansion.

At the front gate, he scratched his cheek awkwardly and asked, “…If you don’t want to go inside, want to come to my place instead?”

“If you’re saying that to seduce me, it’s the worst. And if it’s out of pity, no thanks. It’s my home, after all.”

Honestly, I didn’t want to go inside.

I was tempted to take him up on the offer.

At least then I wouldn’t have to see my awful family’s faces.

I wouldn’t have to sigh at the tightly sealed windows or linger with my hand on the cold glass.

But what hurt more than all of that was the feeling of being left alone for years.

“…Hey, can you give me a hug?”

At my words, Ernst let out a small laugh and wrapped his arms around me, patting my back gently.

He then pulled a piece of candy from his pocket, slipped it into mine, and headed home.

I stood there, staring at the candy in my hand for what felt like ages before popping it into my mouth.

The slightly sour lump of sugar was far more delicious than I expected.

Once I returned home, I washed up and changed into fresh clothes.

I asked Rin to bring me a cup of tea and sat at the dining table, waiting for the tea and snacks to be served.

A while later, the servant brought over some tea and dry cookies.

The tea was the cheap kind that everyone in the family drank, and the cookies—probably overloaded with butter—were soft yet parched of moisture.

Crunchy, but not bad in their own way.

“Sis.”

“…Ellie?”

Her eyes were slightly red.

I wasn’t sure if it was from crying or from some irritation.

“I saw you earlier, laughing and having fun with Ernst out in front of the house.”

“He’s my friend.”

“…Friends don’t hug, carry each other, or offer to take them home.”

“We’re just friends.”

Was there anything sentimental in the hug we’d shared earlier?

Ernst had said our relationship would be whatever I wanted it to be.

So if I called us friends, then we were friends.

If Ellie misunderstood that, well, it wasn’t my problem.

If she wanted to see it that way, what could someone as lowly as me say to change her mind?

But as her older sister, was this really the right way to treat her?

It felt like I was speaking to a servant from some higher position of authority.

A whirlwind of emotions stirred in my chest.

But no matter how strong those emotions were, I wouldn’t let my face flush, my body tremble, or my voice rise in anger.

That’s how I was taught, and that’s how I lived.