My Girlfriend Wants Victory

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The UEFA Champions League draw has concluded, and articles have started pouring out from South Korea.

[Manchester United’s Round of 16 opponent is Zenit.]
└ Wow. This means Manchester United is definitely going through, right?
└ Don’t underestimate Zenit, though. That away match in Russia is gonna be a real pain.
└ Chelsea also got tripped up by Zenit and ended up in the Europa League once.
└ But honestly, I don’t get the vibe that United will lose.
└ Agreed. It seems like the away game might be the issue more than Zenit itself.

When is the Champions League Round of 16?
└ February 25th.
└ That’s still a long way off, though.

United fans displayed a vague attitude towards the draw against Zenit.

After all, a trip to Russia around this time is like a trip to hell.

Bitter cold weather and long-distance flights.

Asian overseas soccer players playing A-matches must be filled with question marks in their heads.

Between England and Russia, it really is a long-distance flight.

Of course, I wasn’t afraid of the trip to Russia.

I had the body evolved to survive the insane Korean climate, along with a German brain and the nationality of a country that has produced the most Independence Day celebrations in the world, making me a perfect trinity.

And most importantly…

There’s no Gallipoli in Russia.

Just like how Japanese people tremble at the sight of Admiral Yi Sun-sin, for the Brits, Gallipoli is a fear etched in their DNA.

If it had been a match held in Turkey where Gallipoli exists, United may have faced defeat.

Just like they fell out of the Champions League in the 23/24 season with a 4th place finish.

‘Thank goodness there’s no Gallipoli in Russia.’

Well, one concern for the Zenit away game is the level of racial discrimination from the fans, but…

[UEFA punishes Zenit with a no spectator match for racist behavior.]

It’s already been naturally resolved given they were previously sanctioned for racism.

‘As expected, wrecked diplomacy is part of Russia’s traditional culture.’

Ah, was that the German Empire?

***

[ Dortmund facing Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City.]

[Dortmund’s Son Heung-min, “I don’t think there’s an opponent to take lightly in the Champions League.”]
└ So what’s up with the dating rumors? Is it for real?
└ MLF? They haven’t made a statement yet, though.
└ Just stay calm and wait a bit longer.
└ Have you seriously forgotten the Son Jinho retirement incident? Don’t misinterpret things and just wait patiently.

***

“Daddy! This! Haeun, do this!!”
“Haeun, can’t we rest just a bit?”
“Shiro! No!”

It was the early evening, a time spent happily and leisurely with family.

Vrrrr—

– Hyung Min: Yo, what’s up?

I suddenly received a message from Hyung Min.

“Daddy! I’m busy!”

“Dad, I got an important text! Mom and I are playing for a bit!”

“Menu!?”

I reluctantly handed over Haeun’s childcare to Gyeouri and stepped out.

– Hyung Min: ??? What’s up? You’re usually slow to reply but now you’re reading fast.
– Ho-woo: I was busy with parenting.
– Hyung Min: ???

I realized I hadn’t sent him the trophy picture from my undefeated championship days, which made me understand Hyung Min’s inability to grasp the sorrow of a married man’s life.

‘Hmm. Should I send it now?’

I promptly sent the trophy photo.

– Ho-woo: (Undefeated Championship Trophy. Jpg)
– Hyung Min: …?
– Hyung Min: Why the sudden late reply?
– Ho-woo: I thought you might feel sad if I didn’t send it.
– Ho-woo: (Gif of Haeun searching for Dad)
– Ho-woo: And what do you think of this photo of my daughter? Isn’t she cute?

As I continued to brag about my trophy and daughter for a while…

“Daddy! Mommy is in pain! Help!”

Haeun dashed over, pulling my arm as she attempted to escape her mother’s rampant cries.

– Ho-woo: Hyung, I’m off to comfort Haeun.
– Hyung Min: Hey! You have to listen to my worries first!

After leaving Hyung Min a message, I moved back to parenting duties.

“Hmm? But why did he text me out of the blue?”

Then it struck me, I was puzzled about why Hyung Min had contacted me.

But I decided not to dwell on it much.

‘Hyung Min will handle it well on his own.’

He has always been the type who does just fine without causing any major headaches in history.

And the next day…

[ Dortmund’s Son Heung-min recognizes dating rumors. “I feel like we’re getting to know each other with good feelings…”]

Suddenly, an article appeared that made me panic.

“What? This isn’t the reaction I’d expect from Hyung Min?”

***

[Regarding his recognition of the dating rumors, Son Heung-min said, “When the dating news first broke, I didn’t know what to do, so I contacted Jinho, and I envied the way he and his child were living sweetly together. I think that’s when I decided to reveal it.”]

[Son Jinho, shocked by the sudden dating news, supports Son Heung-min’s relationship… “Fighting?”]

[In the League Cup between Manchester United and Southampton, all first-team players except David De Gea are excluded from the roster.]

[Alex Ferguson: “The players participating in the League Cup are also proud Manchester United players.”]

***

December 17th.

Capital One Cup quarter-final match against Southampton.

Alex Ferguson activated the rotation as usual.

Instead of the starting players, promising youngsters and those who hadn’t played were given a chance.

‘If I perform well in today’s game, I might become a starting player too!’

The players aimed to catch Ferguson’s eye during this League Cup match against Southampton.

Their goal quickly served as strong motivation, leading to excellent plays.

And among them, the most impressive performances were…

“Yahhhhhh—!”
“Daewoo—!”
“Reau—!”

The promising youngsters who received concentrated care from Son Jinho and Ronaldo.

[Adnan Januzaj, with an impressive performance, earned Ferguson’s approval!]

[“Budget Son Jinho,” Danny Welbeck becomes a connecting bridge between defense and attack.]

[Scoring the winning goal, Marcus Rashford says, “I’m happy to be a Manchester United player. There are so many great players at Manchester United.”]

The three of them produced a dazzling performance against Southampton, contributing greatly to Manchester United advancing to the next round.

And with United’s victory concluded, the following day…

Was it the impressive performance of Januzaj, Welbeck, and Rashford that stirred things up?

Players wishing to receive coaching from Son Jinho and Ronaldo flocked around them.

“So, you see, football is…”

Son Jinho delivered a lengthy lecture on what football is in front of players older than him biologically.

***

[Manchester United’s harmonious training ground atmosphere has a reason behind their rising fortunes.]

[Boxing Day, Manchester United prepares for the hellish schedule ahead.]
└ Wow, is Manchester United’s schedule real?
└ Manchester City (21st) – Stoke City (26th) – Arsenal (28th) no way;;
└ Wow lol big match three times in a row haha.
└ They had it easy at first meeting weak teams but now it’s tough^^.
└ You guys know Manchester City and Arsenal are big clubs, but is Stoke City strong too?
└ Yup, they’re super strong, the only team that almost stopped United’s undefeated streak last season.
└ LOL that was because they almost injured the starters, though.

└ But they almost did, right?
└ Ah fuck;; so Stoke City is scarier than Manchester City and Arsenal, huh?
└ But you have Mushing-do, right?
└ Mushing-do, what?! lol.
└ But damn, I’m amazed how Ronaldo doesn’t get pushed back at all by Charlie Adam.
└ I really hate United, but when it comes to Stoke City, I’ll support United no matter what.
└ I agree, I’m a true Kop but seeing United beat Stoke City makes me feel good.
└ For real, those Stoke City bastards had my king Chess in a chokehold, I was so pissed.

└ What the hell. In the Premier League, is Stoke City the actual menace instead of United?
└ Yup, in martial arts terms, Stoke City is like the demonic sect.

└ More like the blood sect, those Stoke City guys have no lines to be drawn.

***

Time flew by quickly.

The hellish schedule of facing Manchester City, followed by Stoke City and Arsenal, was fast approaching.

December 21st, Manchester City’s home ground, Etihad Stadium.

Manchester United struggled in their away match against Manchester City.

Manager Pep Guardiola claimed the locker room and firmly dealt with players who wouldn’t listen, based on the club’s complete trust in his authority, and prepared thoroughly to face United.

[Fernandinho is tracking the combo play between Ronaldo and Jinho.]
[Yes, he’s really exerting himself in this match.]

By the 20th minute of the first half, Manchester United’s destructive offense had yet to score.

Robin van Persie still hadn’t found his form.

[With Van Persie out, Sadio Mané attempted to break through but got blocked by Kompany instead!]

Sadio Mané tried to relieve the pressure with dribbling on the flank but ended up losing the ball to Kompany, leading to a counterattack from Manchester City.

David Silva passed to Sergio Agüero, but…

The rapidly returning Virgil van Dijk succeeded in clearing the ball with a tackle.

The game continued in frustrating situations.

“Puta Madre!”

Cristiano Ronaldo, frustrated by the concentrated marking against him, started getting irritable towards his teammates.

“Chris, the boss wants you.”

Of course, not long after, during a stoppage in play, Ronaldo was called over to the elder.

“Alex Ferguson, you need to respect me…!”

“Hey!!!”

“SI, SIUUUUUU?”

“You little brat! Why are you acting like you’re something important!? Respect your teammates more!”

He regained his sanity after taking a moment to calm down.

***

After being properly scolded by the elder, Ronaldo must have realized he’d die if he went into halftime like this, as he began to run around desperately.

I could feel how much a human’s ability could dramatically elevate when survival was at stake while watching Ronaldo’s changed movements.

“Referee!”

Even impressive players like Vincent Kompany and Fernandinho had no choice but to foul to stop Ronaldo’s dribbling display.

Following a prime location for a direct shot on target, Ronaldo, with his dripping ambition, was pleading…

“Son Jinho, I’m in great condition right now. If you trust me, pass me the free kick.”

Having won the foul, Cristiano Ronaldo made a face full of regret, asserting his claim.

“Not happening, not swapping! Go back!”

According to the previously agreed order, this free kick was mine to take.

But our needy little bum still had that lingering look, hovering around.

“Chris, just stay in the penalty box. I’ll deliver it to you with a cross.”

“Son Jinho, promises must be kept!”

I promised to assist him with my head to help him score.

Of course…

That was a lie.

Just as I was ready, the ref blew the whistle signaling me to take the free kick.

I aimed for the goal, hoping to score, rather than just making a pass towards Ronaldo.

In that moment, as my shot curved toward the corner of the net, the greedy bum stuck his tongue out at the ball that flew above him.

“SIUUUUUU─!”

He successfully snatched the goal.

As I looked at Ronaldo celebrating with a bright smile, I thought…

Wow… Is that really a human being?