My Stalking Diary

Chapter 15

My fingertips tingled. Our lips and tongues were so intimately entwined that Joo Kwon-oh and I had to share breaths, and even his exhaled breath was very manly and hot.

Even the invisible gas felt incredibly impressive if it came from him.

“Hnggh.”

However, it wasn’t long before I felt a sense of crisis, as if I might run out of breath. Unlike my relaxed partner, I found it difficult to even find a moment to take a breath.

But I didn’t want to back away or push him away, so I responded to the kiss while holding my breath until my face turned red.

Before I knew it, I was so intensely focused that I was gripping Joo Kwon-oh’s collar tightly with both hands, as if grabbing his neck.

Noticing this, Joo Kwon-oh, still keeping his lips on mine, took my hands in his. He gently pushed his index finger between my clenched fists. The tension in my fists gradually eased.

After making me release his collar, Joo Kwon-oh then grabbed both my wrists and wrapped them around his neck.

“Tilt your head, like this.”

“Haa… Hngg.”

“How is it? Much easier to breathe, right?”

Before I could utter a proper word, our lips collided again. His tongue invaded my mouth, sweeping through every corner. It was meaningful and soft, yet intense, as if tasting all of me.

I never imagined there could be a moment when he would treat me, a man, so tenderly.

I followed Joo Kwon-oh’s instructions, wrapping my arms around his neck and turning my head to find moments to breathe as I received his kisses.

How much time had passed in that state?

I gradually started to lose strength in my body. Just as I began to feel anxious that my legs might give way, Joo Kwon-oh’s lips, which seemed like they would never leave me, finally pulled away.

“Haa, haa.”

“Hoo…”

We panted, facing each other at a distance where we were almost touching. Joo Kwon-oh’s sharp eyes, thick eyelashes, smooth skin, and high nose bridge flickered very close to me.

Joo Kwon-oh, who had been staring directly into my eyes, moved his lips.

“Ha, shit. I don’t understand. Your lips…”

I don’t know what he was trying to say, but I felt a sense of urgency. So I pulled his neck towards me and devoured his lips and breath entirely. Just as he had done to me earlier.

And so the kiss continued.

How should I put it? Is this what it feels like when a new world opens up that you weren’t aware of before?

I clung to sensations I had never experienced or felt before, intertwining my tongue with Joo Kwon-oh’s. Before I knew it, his hands were busy touching my neck, head, and waist.

Creeak.

So absorbed were we that we moved around like one mass, and my back hit a wooden chair in the storage room. At the same time, a loud sound rang out from the wooden hinge.

“Ah.”

Mistaking it for the door opening, we were startled and removed our hands from each other’s bodies.

As soon as I separated from Joo Kwon-oh, my mind returned to the extremely calm real world.

“……”

“……”

Realizing that it was still just the two of us in the storage room, I awkwardly wiped my wet lips and checked my phone.

10:32.

Thinking I might have read the numbers wrong, I checked again, but it was indeed 10:32.

My goodness. I must have arrived here around 9:50 at the latest. Did I really kiss Joo Kwon-oh for forty minutes?

The unbelievable passage of time was disconcerting.

“Are we… done?”

Since I didn’t know much about the beginning and end of kisses, I asked Joo Kwon-oh for confirmation.

Joo Kwon-oh nodded. Standing a few steps away from me, he looked somewhat dazed, unlike his usual self.

His gaze, still fixated on my lips, was so blatant that I felt a sense of crisis, as if I should hide my lips now.

When I covered my lips with the back of my hand, Joo Kwon-oh’s eyes wandered for a moment, lost. He quickly brushed back the hair that had fallen over his forehead.

“……”

“……”

I had kissed once before with someone I met on an app after realizing my sexual orientation, but at that time, it was just unpleasant and didn’t have this dizzying feeling that made my whole body’s hair stand on end.

I personally realized that this is exactly what people mean when they say their mind goes blank.

“Hey. You go first.”

Joo Kwon-oh blurted out gruffly while we were at a loss in the awkward atmosphere.

“Huh? Oh? Then what about you…”

“I’ll manage on my own, so just leave first.”

I’m sure he spoke with a playful voice when we first entered the storage room. But now, Joo Kwon-oh was infinitely cold.

As if he was done with his business, he plopped down on a wooden chair at one end of the storage room and waved his hand in my direction. It was clearly a gesture to shoo me away.

The heat I had felt from him just moments ago seemed like a lie. It felt unfamiliar to see him sitting in the chair, not even looking at me, muttering curses like “Ah, shit.”

According to the original plan, I was supposed to go out to the corridor first, confirm that there was no one there, and then signal Joo Kwon-oh. But that didn’t seem to matter anymore.

I left the storage room before he could utter harsher curses at me.

I saw a student passing by at the end of the corridor, but they didn’t come this way.

I quickly went down the stairs. The kiss that had just happened kept coming to mind, causing heat to rush to my face. Separate from my heart pounding with excitement, Joo Kwon-oh’s final reaction cooled my heated feelings.

As a result, my feelings were lukewarm.

After returning to my studio apartment from school, I couldn’t gather my thoughts properly all morning and afternoon. It wasn’t until evening that my head, which had been covered in heat, gradually cleared.

I was finally able to accept that I had really kissed Joo Kwon-oh in the art studio storage room.

Sitting upright in my desk chair, I entered the KakaoTalk chat with Joo Kwon-oh. Seeing the previous conversation still there made the situation feel even more real.

[Joo Kwon-oh: Hey]

[Joo Kwon-oh: You’re good at talking through KakaoTalk, huh? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

[Joo Kwon-oh: Ok Saturday Art building 3rd floor 10AM]

Reading each of the last sentences Joo Kwon-oh had left in the previous conversation made me feel queasy and unable to sit still. And it wasn’t even that long of a conversation.

In the end, unable to keep my fingers still, I sent a KakaoTalk message.

[Me: Did you get out alright earlier?]

[Me: And can you return my notebook that you have..]

Worried that just asking if he left the storage room safely might seem like I was contacting him for something too trivial, I racked my brain and casually brought up the notebook.

It wasn’t just idle talk; I really wanted the notebook back. I felt uneasy about my embarrassing history being in Joo Kwon-oh’s hands.

Five minutes, ten minutes… twenty minutes…

I held my phone, waiting for the 1 to disappear from the chat window. But even after a long time, there was no change.

“Maybe he’s really busy.”

Even after spending two hours watching YouTube and doing small assignments, the 1 was still clearly marked in the chat window.

Was it wrong to ask for the notebook back? But I had apologized, and from Joo Kwon-oh’s perspective, it must be an uncomfortable item to keep. Wouldn’t it be better for me to take it and dispose of it?

Normally, I would have let it go, but today I felt stubborn. After all, Joo Kwon-oh and I had really kissed this morning.

I couldn’t bear my curiosity about how this relationship would unfold.

After thinking a bit more, I entered the group chat for the Culture and Arts Industry and Business Model group project and sent a message.

[Me: Who did we decide would do our presentation?]

[Ji-ye♥: Ah, that!!]

[Ji-ye♥: In exchange for me designing the PowerPoint]

[Ji-ye♥: Either Kyung-won oppa or Kwon-oh oppa was supposed to present]

[Choi Kyung-won: Yeah yeah yeah, I’m doing the presentation… sigh…]

[Ji-ye♥: Hehehe]

In less than a minute, Shin Ji-ye’s reply was quickly followed by Choi Kyung-won’s. It was almost real-time speed.

[Ji-ye♥: So it’s finally decided hehe]

[Choi Kyung-won: I played rock-paper-scissors with Kwon-oh and lost]

[Choi Kyung-won: Sigh]

[Me: Ah I see ㅋㅋ]

After the answer to my question was finished, the chat room became quiet again. And a moment later, the last 1 remaining in the group chat disappeared.

It meant that Joo Kwon-oh had read it.

I sat still without moving, quietly watching to see if a reply would come from him.

Then, on a hunch, I entered our private chat to see if the 1 had disappeared there too. But the 1 in the private chat remained.

This confirmed that Joo Kwon-oh was intentionally not reading only my KakaoTalk message.

“That’s too much…”

As suspicion turned to certainty, all the complicated emotions that had filled me since morning seemed to deflate in an instant. I was overwhelmed by a deep sense of disappointment.

Forgetting even the small tasks I had to complete before bed, I could only let out a long sigh.

Somehow, I didn’t feel motivated to update my new stalking notebook today. Even though it was the day we kissed.

‘Ha, shit. I don’t understand. Your lips…’

I’m sure his reaction wasn’t bad in the storage room earlier.