Naruto: I, Uchiha, Just Want to Die

Chapter 125: What? Jiraiya Wants to Teach Me How to Perm My Hair!

The midday sun had risen high over the Land of Fire.

Not far from the camp, Uchiha Ci, looking utterly exhausted and disheveled, leapt off the head of a blue snake and slipped back into his tent through the underground tunnel Orochimaru had dug.

Inside the tent, everything remained as it was when he left last night: scattered scrolls, a toppled desk, fallen candlesticks, charred blade marks on the floor, and a large hole in the center of the ground.

Uchiha Ci wanted to tidy up the mess in his tent.

But he was completely drained. After a night spent "dancing" with Manda and engaging in a metaphorical dance with another 'Manda,' his legs were as weak as jelly.

All he wanted now was to collapse onto his bed and sleep like a log.

However, just as he was about to make that wish a reality, a cold shout suddenly came from outside the tent:

"Uchiha Ci, come out!"

At that moment, Uchiha Ci really felt like swearing. Supporting himself on the tent's frame, he lifted the curtain.

Outside the tent stood a tall, stern young man wearing an Uchiha clan shirt layered with a Jōnin vest, frowning at him.

Uchiha Ci was slightly surprised. He had a vague impression of this guy but couldn't quite recall where he had seen him before.

With a frown, he asked irritably, "Who are you?"

"Uchiha Shinichi," the tall man introduced himself, crossing his arms with a cold gaze.

Hearing this name, Uchiha Ci finally remembered who he was. Yesterday, Shisui had mentioned someone responsible for teaching him ninjutsu. This person was also on the list approved by the clan elder to leave the village.

He was the captain of the Uchiha squad dispatched to the Land of Rain this time, Jōnin, Uchiha Shinichi.

But why was this guy here to find him?

Uchiha Ci lifted his eyes and weakly asked, "What do you want?"

Uchiha Shinichi looked at the young man in front of him with obvious displeasure. He snorted coldly and reprimanded, "Did you forget?"

"When there are no missions, you are supposed to gather in the forest behind the camp at nine o'clock every morning for special training under my guidance."

He looked Uchiha Ci up and down, noting his tattered clothes and disheveled appearance.

Peeking inside the tent through the lifted curtain, he saw the overturned candlestick, the messy bed, and immediately his eyes filled with jealousy.

Damn it, this kid seems to be having a good time!

As the bridge between the Uchiha clan and the village, and one who was lucky enough to become a disciple of one of the Sannin, this brat wasn't cherishing such a rare opportunity. Instead, he was using his status to flirt around and recklessly spread the Uchiha seed.

Damn, this is a war front!

Uchiha Shinichi was so enraged that he was practically drooling with anger.

"I've heard from Shisui before that you're supposed to be the pride of the clan," he sneered. "But from what I see now, you're nothing special."

"The version of you described by others seems to be the real deal."

"You're young but already so undisciplined, ignoring the three prohibitions for a ninja. I even heard rumors back in the village about you frequenting brothels and exploiting clan resources to make a fortune from missions."

"Greedy and lustful, that's what you are."

"I thought becoming Orochimaru's disciple might change you for the better, but look at you now, ha!"

Uchiha Shinichi sneered, his eyes darting sharply into the tent as if searching for some hidden woman to criticize with his Sharingan.

"Wait, hold on!" Uchiha Ci was left dumbfounded by Shinichi's string of accusations, though he didn't react much.

He was used to the Uchiha clan's sharp tongues, and to be fair, Shinichi wasn't entirely wrong; he was indeed greedy and lustful, and there was no denying it.

But what was with that jealous gaze? He could practically see the envy in Shinichi's eyes, as if he were just shy of activating his Sharingan to admire the scene and indulge in some fantasy.

Following Shinichi's gaze, Uchiha Ci looked into his tent. He saw the fallen candlestick from his battle, the messy bed disturbed by Orochimaru, and the large puddle of drool he had left on the desk after sleeping.

He immediately realized this guy had gotten the wrong idea.

"Damn it, what a bad start to the morning."

"If you want to look, just look! I'll lift the curtain for you!" Uchiha Ci angrily threw back the tent flap, revealing everything inside. He thought to himself, if he were caught red-handed, that would be understandable since it would indeed look bad to be doing such things in the camp.

But he hadn't done anything, so he wouldn't take the blame for this unfounded accusation!

Seeing Uchiha Ci lift the curtain, Shinichi immediately turned around, crossing his arms with his back to the tent, stubbornly refusing to look.

"Hmph, just because you want me to look, doesn't mean I will!"

"What a joke!"

Uchiha Ci gritted his teeth in frustration, yelling, "Take a look! I'm showing you openly, and you don't even dare to look, you coward!"

Shinichi remained turned away, arms crossed, snorting sourly, "Hmph! It's nothing special! As if I haven't seen it before!"

Uchiha Ci noticed his stiff posture and the trickle of blood dripping from his nose to his feet. He realized this guy was imagining some sort of scene in his head.

Damn it, even a nosebleed?

Uchiha Ci took a deep breath, feeling utterly helpless. Finally, he gritted his teeth and asked, "So, Shinichi-senpai, what are you actually here for?"

"Are you just here to pick a fight?"

Before Uchiha Ci could get angry, Shinichi was already trembling with rage. He rubbed his nose and cursed, "You little brat, do you even know what time it is now?"

"I've been waiting for you at the back mountain for three hours, three hours!"

"I was waiting so long, the flowers have wilted, and you're here doing this in the camp!"

"Hurry up and clean up this mess, right now! And get to the forest in the back mountain!"

"Finish your training with me! Or don't blame me if I report this to the elder!"

With that, Shinichi clutched his nose and stormed off without looking back. He walked so fast that he soon disappeared from sight.

Uchiha Ci was left standing alone outside his messy tent, unable to make Shinichi turn back even once.

He shut his eyes in frustration, feeling wronged over this ridiculous misunderstanding.

"Damn it, what kind of absurdity is this? At least take a proper look, for crying out loud!"

Angrily, Uchiha Ci punched the tent pole.

With a creak and a bang, the entire tent collapsed.

Feeling both physically and mentally drained, Uchiha Ci sighed and decided not to bother cleaning up. With dark circles under his eyes and an exhausted body, he headed towards the forest behind the Land of Fire's camp.

---

Crossing the border back into the Land of Fire, the weather visibly turned brighter.

As he passed through the camp, the atmosphere became lively. It almost felt like he could hear the melody of "Konoha's Peace."

White doves took flight, groups of ninjas played cards, busy medical ninjas hurried through the camp carrying stretchers, shouting, "Make way!"

Walking down the street, he spotted a few familiar faces. The cat-masked shopkeeper from the village was here selling ninja tools, even greeting Uchiha Ci.

One of the Inuzuka clan's dogs was sitting by a tent. Uchiha Ci couldn't resist patting its head and jokingly asked, "Will I be lucky this year?"

In response, the dog bared its teeth, chasing Uchiha Ci halfway down the street.

Taking his time strolling and enjoying a rare moment of peace, Uchiha Ci wasn't in a hurry. If Shinichi wanted to unjustly accuse him, let him wait a bit longer.

Finally, as he was about to head to the back mountain after wandering around the camp, a large hand with a wrist guard suddenly clapped him on the shoulder.

A cheerful, middle-aged voice called out, "Yo~"

"Kid, your hairstyle's not bad!"

"I have a powerful technique. Do you want to learn it?"

Startled, Uchiha Ci turned around to see a grinning, spiky-haired white-haired man wearing a red haori over a brown robe, with a headband bearing the word "Oil." He gave a thumbs-up, pointing at his hair.

"This is my secret technique. Even my own disciples haven't learned it yet!"

Uchiha Ci froze for a moment, almost thinking he was seeing a god offering hair perms on the roadside.

Wasn't this Jiraiya, one of the Sannin alongside his teacher, Orochimaru? Wait, what was going on now?

Why was Jiraiya suddenly offering to teach him how to perm his hair?

Having never met Jiraiya before, Uchiha Ci could only politely ask, "And who might you be?"

Upon hearing this, Jiraiya's smile widened even more. He immediately leapt up, tapping his wooden sandals as he landed gracefully, spreading his arms wide in an impressive display!

With a hearty laugh, he declared:

"Good question!"

"I am the White-Haired Boy of the Three Legendary Sannin, the Toad Spirit of Mount Myoboku, and the Sage of the Toads!"

"Commonly known as the Toad Sage, at your service!"