Naruto : Monsters

"While he does have full command over us during times of war or emergencies, during periods of peace the only ninjas that are under his complete control are the Anbu. 

The regular ninja forces are not forced to obey his every command. Think of it this way, you know how as ninjas we are allowed to pick our missions right?"

Naruto nodded again.

...

"Now, what happens if we are offered a mission we don't want? Let's say the mission was too dangerous, or we were too tired from our last job and want a break, what do we do then?"

"We…just say no?" her voice rose up towards the end, making it sound more of a question than an answer.

"Correct." I nodded, giving her an encouraging smile, "We just say no. It's as simple as that. The Hokage can't force us to accept a mission; it's not the way things work. While the Anbu have no right to decline a mission or a direct order from the Hokage, we do. 

That's not to say the Hokage doesn't have any authority over us, because he does, a lot of it. It just means that we as ninjas of Konoha have our own rights as well. Understand?"

"Yeah, I think I get it." Naruto slowly nodded her head, before tilting it to one side, "But what does this have to do with the exam?"

"Everything. Jonin like Kakashi here," I waved a hand towards him, "are not required to take on students. While it is traditional for Jonin to take apprentices eventually so that they can pass on their skills to the next generation, they are not required to do so and the Hokage certainly can't force them to. And for good reason. 

You can't just force people to part with their personal techniques and skills when they don't want to and expect it to work. Nothing good can come from that. Which is why Jonin or Chuunin instructors have to volunteer for the role.

"Now up to that point, there isn't a problem. The problem comes when deciding which students they have to train. If you let the Jonin choose their own students then they would all just end up picking the best of the year, like you and me, or someone from their own clan. Other students with only average potential or who don't come from powerful clans would be left behind.

"Naturally they couldn't let that happen, which is why the Hokage is the one who decides who gets to train who, not the Jonin. While they're allowed to petition the Hokage for certain students, the final decision will always lie with him. But this leaves us with an additional problem.

"What happens if a Jonin gets saddled with a group of students he doesn't like? Remember, no one can force them to train the students, and even if Hokage did try everyone would just revolt. 

These are their hard-won skills we're talking about, some of them are their clan's secret techniques, others are their own personal jutsu that they've developed themselves. You can't force them to give that knowledge away without consequences.

"But we can't allow the Jonin to decline the students from the get-go just because they didn't get the ones they wanted, nothing will ever get done then. So a compromise was made, an exam. Every Jonin would be obligated to test out the students, if they fail, don't meet their standards, or if he simply doesn't like the kids then he can walk away, no questions asked.

"The test gives the students an opportunity to prove themselves, a chance to show what they're made of and convince the Jonin that they're worth his time. If they succeed then good, the Jonin has his students, the students have a teacher, everyone is happy. 

If they fail then the students would either get handed over to the next Jonin available or even a Chuunin if there aren't any Jonin left. In the worst cases, they might end up having to wait for months until they get assigned one."

"So you mean we have to prove ourselves," she pointed sceptically at Kakashi, "to him? But look at him, he's a slob. He can't even make it to work on time. Can't we trade him in for someone better? I know Hokage-Jiji would listen to me if I asked him for an upgrade, maybe even switch up for a younger model." Naruto said while eyeing Kakashi's hair.

"I resent that," Kakashi rose a hand to his head, "I'll have you know my hair is silver, not grey. I'm still in my twenties." And I couldn't help but notice how he didn't deny being a slob.

"Naruto, there is no better model." I explained, "I am the rookie of the year and you are the top kunoichi, we're both the most highly sought after students from this year's lot which means we were assigned to the best Sensei that they had available. So no matter what he looks like," I pointed at Kakashi, "He's currently the best teacher Konoha has to offer, there is no one better. Anyone else we can get to replace him would only be worse."

"Bingo." Kakashi chimed in, "You see ducklings, it doesn't matter how special you think you are, it doesn't even matter how special the Hokage think you are, in the end, all that matters is what I think of you. I'm the one who gets to decide whether you pass and continue as Genin or fail and get sent back to the Academy."

I frowned as I noticed something wrong with his words, "Sent back to the Academy? Kakashi-Sensei, what are you talking about? Even if you do fail us, the worst that would happen is that we get passed along to the next Jonin in line. You don't have the authority to send us back to the Academy."

"Hmm, you would normally be right." The masked-man nodded as he scratched his chin, "Normally being the operative word here, and this is far from normal circumstances. Tell me, do you know what's been happening over the last four hours?"

"We've been waiting for you to show up, that's what," Naruto grumbled.

Kakashi rolled his eyes, "Other than that."

Naruto turned to look at me but I had no idea what he was talking about either and just shrugged.

"Let me give you a clue then," He snapped his finger and pointed at me, "You, bug eyes, can you check up on what the rest of your classmates are doing."

Confused, and more than a little bit suspicious, I decided to comply for now. Flashing open my Byakugan I began searching for my now-former classmates. It didn't take me long to find them all, as far as I can tell none of them were doing anything out of the ordinary.

Just as it had been with Kurenai's and Asuma's teams, all of the others were hanging out together with their new teammates and Sensei trying to get to know them better now that they all passed-

It hit me.

They all passed.

"Oh you son of a bitch," I glared at the one-eyed man while flipping off my Byakugan, who just smiled back in return. "You weren't just fucking with us for the hell of it, you were stalling!"

"Hikaru," Naruto looked at me, alarmed, "what's wrong?"

I turned to her, "The other teams, they've all passed. Every single last one of them."

I could tell by the blonde's reaction that she didn't understand why that upset me but Shikamaru seemed to get it right away.

"I see," Shikamaru turned his sights to the Jonin, "so that's what you meant. You've set things up so you'd be our only option." He tsked and scratched his head, "This is going to end up being such a drag."

"Correct," Kakashi clapped his hands, "Konoha has lost a lot of good ninjas during the Kyuubi attack twelve years ago, and while we are well onto the road of recovery we are still not quite there yet. We've been having a bit of a Jonin shortage problem for years now, so the Hokage has been having trouble finding enough Jonin-instructors to teach newly graduating Genin. 

As a matter of fact, he was barely able to pull in enough instructors for each group this year. And now that the rest of the Jonin have finished selecting their teams it means that the only Genin and Jonin that haven't paired up yet are you three," He pointed at us, then at himself, "and me."

Naruto just snorted, "So what? Why are you all making such a big deal out of this?" She flashed a cocky smirk at the man, "All we have to do is pass this exam of yours then we'll be good right? Then hurry up and give it to us so we'll ace it. If every other team was able to pass theirs then this should be easy."

Kakashi chuckled, "Well, aren't you the optimistic one? But I'm sorry to say I'm nowhere near as soft as the other Instructors," Kakashi raised his hand and held up three fingers. 

"Three times. I've been assigned three other groups before you and every one of them failed my exam, and from what I've seen of you ducklings, it doesn't seem like you're going to fare any better."

If he meant to scare her off then he failed because Naruto's grin just grew larger "Well of course they failed, they didn't have me on their team did they? Listen up Sensei, I am Uzumaki Naruto, and you have never met anyone like me before."

I had to repress a chuckle at that. Naruto was right. Despite Kakashi's attempt to scare us there was no way we were going to fail. Setting aside that I already knew what the test was and how to pass it, I knew that Kakashi would never fail Naruto and allow his Sensei's daughter to be trained by someone else, someone potentially less competent than himself.

And between Naruto, Shikamaru and me, this team was pretty much a well-rounded powerhouse. The odds of us failing were close to nil. That wasn't even counting the fact that I already knew the answer behind the bell test, so long as nothing had changed then there was no way we could lose.

Kakashi just yawned and shot Naruto an unimpressed look, "Hmm, well, I guess we'll see soon enough whether you're all talk or not. Listen up, I'm about to explain the rules to the exam." He reached into the pouch strapped to his side and pulled out a pair of bells. 

"Your objective is to simply get one of these two bells for yourselves."

I released a breath I didn't realize I was holding and allowed myself a tiny grin of victory. That settles it, this was our win.

"Tomorrow morning we'll be meeting up at the team's assigned training field at 08:00 sharp. The exam will commence only once all of us have arrived and will continue until noon, at which point the exam will come to a close. 

Your objective is to try and take a bell off of me and keep it safe until the end of the exam. To pass, you need to capture a bell and keep it on your person until the time limit runs out. If you do not have a bell on you by the end, you fail. It doesn't matter if you captured a bell at one point if you don't have one when the exam is over then you lose."

He looked at each of us one by one, "For the duration of the exam, I officially permit the use of lethal attacks, both on me and on each other. Once we start, anything goes, any tactics or jutsu you know are permitted. This is a test to determine your qualifications as ninjas, as soldiers, and I expect you all to fight with your life on the line."

"Wait," Naruto raised her hand, noticing the obvious flaw with the exam. "You said only those with a bell are allowed to pass, but you only have two of them and there are three of us. How are we supposed to all pass then?"

"Hmm, wasn't I being clear enough? Uzumaki Naruto, think on this," His eyes turned cold as they locked onto hers, "Why do you think I gave you permission to attack each other?"

Naruto head shot straight up when she got what he was implying, "But that's-!"

"This is the Ninja world brat, not some playground. In here, it's either kill or be killed. If an enemy has what you need to survive, you either take it from him or just sit down and let them slit your throat." He jingled the bells at her, "Besides, dragging around three kids with me is too much of a pain. If I cut you down to two, things will be much easier for me."

"…Bastard," Naruto growled out from clenched teeth, glaring furiously at the Jonin, looking as if she'd be more than happy to begin attacking him right now. "You're really planning on making us fight each other just to make your job easier?"

"Of course," Kakashi smiled at her, "But it's not like I'm going to force you to participate. If you are so opposed to my exam then you can just quit right now and try again next year, with another Sensei. 

Of course, you'd be doing it with another team too as I'll just take the other two here as my students and leave you behind. But I'm sure you don't mind being separated from friends if it means you don't have to get your hands dirty?"

Naruto looked startled at that and shot me a glance of pure panic. However, despite me wearing my best Hyuuga poker face, Naruto must have seen through my facade because she quickly calmed down and relaxed. She might have not known why I was so calm but trusted me enough to believe I must have had a good reason for it.

Really, this girl trusted me far too much.

...

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