Chapter 71: CH 71
"What?" Was the general reaction to such a random statement from around the campsite.
Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, "You know how I sent that clone off to make sure all of my things were turned off at home and everything? Well he didn't dispel after he finished his job, as a matter of fact he spent the entire day doing random shit in my name."
(Flashback)
Naruto's bunshin grumbled as he locked the door to Naruto's apartment after checking the entire house for anything still turned on, "That was a total waste of time and effort. There wasn't anything running up my electric bill in there."
He looked at himself and was about to dispel until he heard a bark and saw Kiba running up to him, Akamaru in tow, with a massive grin on his face, "Naruto, oh man… I just heard about what you did yesterday at the Academy. I want to shake your hand." After grabbing Naruto-clone firmly in a handshake Kiba gestured to go somewhere, "Come on, let's get something to eat I'm starving."
Now being a Kage Bunshin they're only ever treated as the original by mistake. Despite the fact that they are the by-product of chakra manipulation they still think after they are made even after they complete their orders, and the original never ordered this clone to dispel after completion of his task, and he just so happened to be looking at a golden opportunity for a Kage Bunshin.
Clapping Kiba on the shoulder a grin came to his face, "Sure Kiba, let's go. Ichiraku's is cool with you isn't it?"
XxX
(One Hour Later)
Kiba and Akamaru looked on in awe as they saw Naruto-clone put away another bowl of ramen, bringing his total of bowls consumed to a whopping twenty-six. Kiba had only gotten two for himself and a plate of meat for Akamaru, "Dude where are you putting all of that? You should have puked about ten bowls ago."
Naruto
polished
off
another
bowl
and smirked at the Inuzuka, "My metabolism is absurd." He quickly received another bowl and dove right in.
Kiba had paid off his check for his own food thirty minutes ago, but found himself unable to leave as he watched Naruto scarf down insane amounts of noodles and broth one bowl after another, "You know I wasn't going to pay for your food too, right?"
After finishing off the broth yet again he nodded, "Oh yeah, I've got that handled." Turning his attention to the chef of his favorite meal, clone-Naruto spoke up, "Hey Teuchi-oji. Put this meal on my tab. I'm going on a B-rank mission so I'll be able to pay it off easily once I get back in the village."
Teuchi turned to the clone and nodded, "You've got it Naruto. As long as you pay me it's okay." 'Naruto' grinned and gave him a thumbs up, "Don't worry, I promise I'll pay. And I never go back on my word old man."
XxX
In Iruka's classroom the kids were silently taking notes on his lecture. He was amazed; in all the years he had been teaching he had never had a class completely attentive before. But here 100% of the class was quiet and writing. He figured Naruto must have given them all shell-shock yesterday.
Iruka's attention was broken when the slide of a door opened up and he heard a collective gasp go up among the students, most with looks of horror on their faces. Iruka turned to see the grinning face of 'Naruto', "Naruto what are you doing here? You're lucky no one's parents put a restraining order on you yet."
Naruto-clone's grin only got wider, "Well Iruka-sensei, I felt something was missing yesterday, so…" He turned his attention to the same little Inuzuka boy from yesterday, "I brought my sword!"
The kids all eyed any exit they thought would allow them to escape quickly enough when the sound of metal sliding from a sheath rang out. Suddenly all eyes turned to Naruto-clone, "I haven't even tested it out since I got it back. Who wants to help me? Last person in the classroom volunteers."
In a rush of little feet, shouting, and piling through entrances, the room cleared of all life except 'Naruto' and Iruka. Iruka simply palmed his forehead and sighed, "You enjoy yourself?" Naruto-clone nodded in satisfaction, "Yeah, I guess that will do. Catch you later Iruka-sensei." With that he shunshined out of the classroom.
XxX
Tsunade was returning to her office following her lunch break. Not really looking forward to continuing her monotonous business of reading and signing paperwork she was looking forward to Shizune's post-lunch slump. Shizune normally would prevent Tsunade from even getting near a sip of sake during the day, apparently able to smell it out like a bloodhound, but the blonde with ample cleavage had deduced that there was a lull in her dark haired apprentice's alertness for a ten minute span following lunch every day. Smiling to herself as she took a seat behind her desk she reached into a drawer for her workplace stash. Pulling up the containers of alcohol she noticed they felt extremely light. Attempting to pour some straight into her mouth she caught not a drop from either bottle. As she angrily chucked the empty sake bottles across the room she looked inside the drawer to find a note scribbled out hastily.
Hey baa-chan!
Did you know you had two bottles of sake in your desk? Don't worry I took care of it for you, it may be an inebriating beverage, but man does it hit the spot! But such a drink isn't becoming of a Hokage on the job, therefore I did you a favor and downed the whole thing for you, both of them. No need to thank me, the knowledge of a job well done and the fact that you can now work without being tempted by the deliciousness that was your formerly full bottles of sake is all the acknowledgement I need.
Love, Naruto Uzumaki.
P.S. Your Anbu are ridiculously easy to distract, did you know that?
Tsunade crumpled up the note and radiated killing intent so strong the civilians walking outside the tower started sweating from it, "GODDAMN YOU BRAT!"
(Flashback End)
"And then my clone spent the rest of his existence drunk dialing random numbers on the phone back at home, throwing firecrackers at Gai and Lee while they were training, and getting kicked out of a general store for trying to play the drums that were set up on display. I don't think I can go back into that store anymore… But, yeah… the clone got a wild hair up his ass and thought that he still had beef with the spiders in the Forest of Death so he went in there yelling and challenging them to a duel, and then he died."
Silence reigned over the camp until all of the men busted out laughing. Even the Kyuubi, who had seen everything the clone had done after it dispelled, was laughing. Naruto waited for the laughter to die down, "How the hell do I know all of that?"
All humor vanished at his question as Genma answered him, "You mean you don't know? Anything your Kage Bunshin does comes back to you in memory. You honestly never realized that before?"
Naruto shook his head and Genma nodded, "Yeah, they say that it's a cool way to train, because anything your clone learns you will get back when you dispel it. It all goes into your head. No one uses it though because no one, even most jounin, can use anymore than one to three of them safely. Hey kid, how many can you make?"
"Upwards of one-thousand."
"Ahh."
Naruto blinked, "Wait a goddamn minute… I could've been getting my mega-train on since the day I became a genin and I'm just now learning this? Who else knew about this?"
Kotetsu raised his hand, "I knew. Kakashi told me a few years ago when I ran into him on a training field."
Naruto fumed, "Kakashi knew? Kakashi knew and he didn't fucking tell me? He was my damn sensei for a year and he couldn't even tell me that? I'm going to kick his ass when we get back to Konoha for that!"
Naruto stood up and stomped off into the distance. Genma, being the squad leader, had to ask where he was going, "Hey Naruto, where are you going?"
Naruto didn't even turn his head when he yelled back, "Anger management!"
The men all shrugged and prepared to settle in for the night. The majority of the evening you could hear explosions and sounds of metal clashing out in the distance.
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