Not My Sins

 CHAPTER SIX

"You have become a proper lady," Lily grinned as she hugged Rain, it's been two weeks since her father employed an etiquette teacher for Rain. "I am so happy."

"Do you think this dress suits me?" Rain squeaked as she adjusted her shoes, Lily's eyes held some sort of excitement as she glanced at her sister.

"Yes, it does," She grinned. "I think it is beautiful. Now let's go downstairs for dinner before it gets cold."

Rain felt her heart hammer in her chest, this was the first dinner she was having with her family since the time she came to the estate, they would usually just lock her up in her room, she ate on her own or sometimes when Lily drags her to have breakfast with her.

She was frightened, from her short stay here it was just Lily and her father she interacted with, but her father wasn't a kind person either… except from now.

She could hear the servants whispering, and chuckling, they were probably gossiping about her again, tears sprang into her eyes and Lily's hands tightened against her own as if to provide her comfort, Rain noticed it and she smiled.

At least, for Lily's sake, she wanted to be strong.

"You will need a lot of self-control for the dinner." Lily sounded apologetic. "There is something I would like to ask from you."

"Go on Lily, ask me right away." Rain blinked away the tears. "I could do anything for you."

"I know just how you feel around the house, and I know just how hard it is for you to raise your head around here," Lily started as they descended the stairs, now they headed in the direction of the main residence. "But please, Rain, don't hate my family."

The rain felt herself swallow.

"I don't hate your family." She answered lightly. "Your mother is a bit harsh but then it's my mother's fault and it is my fault for coming to shake the balance of your family."

"I don't think you are a mistake," Lily assured. "So please take a little more pride in who you are, it's not your fault, it's the adults that are to be blamed."

"Yes, thank you." Feeling a bit rejuvenated Rain smiled openly, she had even more confidence to face the family, the dining hall opened and Rain trembled slightly but a small smile was plastered on her face, she didn't to be a coward.

"Oh, I see the girls are here," Elias muttered as he picked his wine goblet from the table and raised it to his lips. "Have your seat, please."

"You are taking care of the brat now?" Rebecca muttered with an indifferent look on her face, the girl irritated her so much. "How loving of a father are you?"

She jested.

"She is not so bad," Elias answered his wife, but not too harshly, Rain hesitantly pulled the seat next to Lily, she was seated in between Lily and her older brother Izekiel. "I figured out recently that she could read and write, and she is also knowledgeable in a lot of things like the ancient language."

Their eyes widened, the ancient language? Even when Iris attended classes, she was unable to learn the language completely.

It was too difficult to understand and she only knew a few words.

"That could be a lie to gain your favor," Rebecca suggested, as she picked back her cutlery and cut through her well-seasoned prawns. "Where would such lowlife learn to speak the language even kings called interpreters for?" 

"It's something that I have tested to confirm, there would be no more doubts about her abilities." He snapped and the whole dining table became silent. Rain became even more uncomfortable, Lily noticed this and held her hands reassuringly. "Rebecca, I haven't asked you for much but I hope that the rumor that runs in the estate never gets out."

"What rumors?" Pretending not to know, she asked curiously.

"Don't you think I haven't heard, how the servants drag my name in the mud, calling my daughter a bastard?" He queried his fingers working even faster as he cut through his meal. "As the duchess of the estate, I am sure this rumor has passed your ears once or twice, yet you did nothing to curb it."

"Are you trying to blame the mother for the rumors a servant started?" Izekiel answered in his mother's stead, the dinner became even more awkward, Rain felt hot and uncomfortable, she gripped the edge of her dress for emotional support. "Are you oblivious to the intense pain and emotional trauma Mother is going through merely because of the existence of this child?"

"Your mother lets her emotions get the best of her, as a duchess, one must solely rule based on reason and not emotions," Elias instructed further. "What good would it be for the Duchy to air out its dirty laundry?"

The dining table fell silent, it was even impossible for Rain to breathe, and the tension became very thick and difficult to breathe.

"Rain is my daughter, and she is also your daughter, I want it to be like that." Rain felt her cheeks heat up in surprise, it seemed that the Duke was trying to break the iceberg between the families. "Iris, Izekiel, Rain is your sister, be just like Lily, who didn't need much to accept her in the family."

"No matter what you do father, it wouldn't change the fact that she has the blood of a whore running through her veins." Iris snapped her eyes wide with bitterness. "She would never be my sister."

"I have never disputed the fact that her mother is a courtesan, but it doesn't also change the fact that she is my daughter, and with one look, she is more of my daughter than any of you." He emphasized the facial attributes, and he was right, she looked the most like him. "At least, don't let it be amongst us."

"Iris be reasonable." Izekiel snapped at his sister and then turned towards Rain. "I for one don't mind having another sister, plus she is just a child, mom please reconsider."

There was a short silence in the room.

"I can't promise to love the child." She muttered. "And don't expect that I will treat her like my child."

"I can understand that," Elias muttered as he picked up the small tablecloth and wiped his mouth with it. "Please make a child worthy of my name."

He pushed his chair backward and stepped out of the seat, and he was done with his dinner, leaving the rest of his family to finish up theirs.

Rain who hadn't even touched her food because of the argument didn't know how to react, the dining was awkwardly quiet, and even when the Duke had gone no one was able to touch their food.

"I am done here," Iris pushed her seat backward getting out, "I can never agree to this."

"Sit down," Rebecca growled. "Iris..." 

"But mother," She protested, "I could never sit at the same table as a peasant like her, what if she starts to think she is something since father decided to put her above the rest of us."

"I said sit down." Rebecca snapped even more louder making Rain flinch slightly, tears well up in her eyes, but they remained glued to the plate on the table. "Rain…"

"Y-Yes Duchess." She trembled even more but refused to let her tears fall. 

"When you are given a meal, you should eat it," She instructed and instinctively reached for her cutlery, she continued her meal like nothing happened. "It's disrespectful for a lady like you to refuse to eat."

"Your father had given me the duty to train your sister here, and as the duchess of the Elderslot estate I must see that everything and everyone is in order and they follow their responsibility."

"Mother, but…" Iris's purple eyes were filled with tears, she felt cheated and she knew the Duke's attitude was unfair towards her mother, it hurt her so much.

"But nothing," Rebecca pressured. "Sit down, Iris."

There was a great silence in the room, but Iris refused to sit, she valued her honor over the orders her father had passed.

"Would you also disrespect me, Iris?" Rebecca's voice became soft and almost pleading, only then did Iris reluctantly pull her chair to sit.

"I sit here today solely out of my love and respect for Mother." She declared as she picked back her cutlery, even though she had no appetite. "I will never regard Rain as a member of our family, she is and will always be an outsider."

Rain shut her eyes, and she mimicked the actions of everyone at the table, her shaky hands picked her cutlery as well, she didn't want the duchess to repeat herself.

"Don't think about what happened too much, okay?" Lily tried to encourage her as she walked her back to her residence. "Just give them a little bit of time."

"H-How long do you think it would take?" She stuttered shakily. "I don't think they are ever going to accept me. No matter what I do, they would never see me as an equal or a member." 

 "No matter how you sugarcoat it, it is never going to happen."