Not My Sins

Chapter Nine:

"Thanks," Rain said to the maid who changed her band-aid, the pain seemed to be fare compared to the previous night. "I appreciate your help."

"Oh, you shouldn't be thanking me for something like this, I am only doing my job," Marine said with a small smile on her face. "Your wound looks better today."

"I am thanking you for keeping my wound a secret." Rain smiled, somehow finding some sort of motherly bond with the maid. Compared to the previous maids that were assigned to her, Marin was kind and thoughtful.

"It's not a problem." She sat Rain down on the chair and positioned her properly in front of the mirror. "You have such thick hair."

She complimented as she helped Rain arrange her wet hair, she used some perfumed oil at the tips of her hair before she brushed it.

"Yes," Rain answered with a short laugh. "It's thick just like my mother's."

The other courtesans, her mom's friends tell her all the time about their likeness, she would giggle at them all night as they compared them both; it was something she missed.

Her mother…

The courtesans…

The red light district… where she was born.

Most especially, the fresh air of freedom.

"The Duchess?" Marine queried with an unsure look on her face, but she didn't stop brushing. "I think I have helped the Duchess once, her hair was feathery light, and soft. Compared to yours, it isn't the same."

Marine probably didn't know that the Duchess wasn't Rain's mother.

So, have they decided to keep that fact a secret?

Rain wasn't so sure, but it wouldn't be long before Marine also found out she was an illegitimate child. Considering how the other servants liked to gossip.

"Maybe it's probably the Duke," She muttered as she continued to brush through her hair as gently as ever. "I caught a glimpse of him this morning, and his hair is as fiery as yours, you are truly identical."

"Thank you." Unsure of what to say, Rain simply expressed her gratitude.

"Would you be needing any other thing tonight?" She asked curiously. "Perhaps more blankets or more woods to the fireside, do you get cold at night?"

"I would need some late-night snacks and some blankets, as for the fire, there would be no need for that." Rain answered as politely as possible, the room grew quiet as Marine pulled Rain's hair in a French braid.

"Do you always throw up your food after dinner?" Rain jolts up at the pressing question.

"Dinner is usually quite uncomfortable when all they do is argue about me," She muttered softly and the maid nodded her head even though she didn't understand. "The food didn't get to digest." 

"I'll prepare a medication for that, if that will be all, then good night," Marine said as she put off the candles to Rain's room, she had tucked in her bed and prepared all the necessary things for her to get a good sleep.

Rain lay in bed, she was unable to sleep, the maid was gone and the room was now quiet, but Rain was unable to settle down.

On nights like this, she missed her mother and the other courtesans who took care of her when she was younger and a child maybe that was the reason she was always so restless, she missed them so much but she knew she could never cry about them again.

She climbed up to the window and jumped out. Her feet touching the blades of wet grass that was outside her room, carefully she stood up and then headed in the same direction she went to yesterday.

Even though he had clearly warned her to not come, she wanted to see if he was okay, he suffered a terrible beating from Izekiel.

 He should be okay, but she noticed he passed out the previous night, she would just check if he was okay and if it was possible she could give him… she stared hard at the band-aid and the ointment in her hands.

Doni was working outside the stables, as diligently as ever, the way he tended to the horses as if they were members of his family moved Rain's heart. He seemed to love the animals dearly, the way he dotes on them, she realized that he even speaks to some of them.

It was as if they understood each other…

If only he could be this gentle when he spoke to her, kind and understanding, if only she could become a horse for the night, Doni would speak, smile, and stroke her.

Rain didn't know how long she stood there in the darkness, watching Doni do his work intently, but the more she watched the more she became unsure of what to do, she didn't know if she should go out to him or not, but she knew her presence would probably ruin his mood. She didn't want to just be the reason why he gets mad, so she decided to leave.

"Who's there?" She froze when she heard Doni's voice, she clasped her hands against her mouth and walked further into the darkness. "I know you're there come outside."

Doni wasn't ready to give up, so he chased after her.

Rain noticed he was coming and so she took to her heels, but she was unable to get so far, due to the sore in her ankle. It didn't take much before Doni caught up to her, he grabbed her arms and she squealed.

Doni's eyes narrowed as soon as he recognized her voice but he didn't let go.

"What are you doing here?" He asked curiously, his voice didn't sound so offended but he was desperate to know. "It's not a wonder, the horses were so uneasy, they kept rustling even though we were alone."

"I-I just wanted to see if you are okay." She answered, still trying to disengage from him.

"If that was it then why did you run?" He tightened his hands against her wrist and another squeal escaped her lips because she fell to the ground with a sharp thud, twisting the other ankle. "If you were not trying to do anything why did you run?"

"You wouldn't appreciate my presence." She forced out. "I saw you were fine, but because I was tired I decided to wait a little bit, I was going to leave anyways until you asked who was there."

He released her as slowly as possible.

"I don't understand." He muttered as he walked towards her, "How could you come back here after what I did to you last night?"

"I wanted to see if you were okay and if possible, I was going to apologize to you." She sniffed back the tears that threatened to spill out of her eyes.

"Apologize to me?" He asked with some sort of surprise. "Why would you do that?"

"My brother…" She whispered, her voice becoming clogged from crying. "It was my fault that you got beaten up."

"Never have I seen a noble lady who would apologize to a stables boy." He muttered a small smirk reaching his lips. "Why don't you try to be a bit ladylike?"

"I don't know how to," She answered, she struggled to get up but she fell to the ground again, it was just a slight dislocation but it hurt even more than yesterday.

"Did you hurt your ankle?" Out of curiosity, he reached down for her legs, at first she struggled to get her legs out of his hands but Doni was stronger. "Walking will worsen it, I will carry you back."

"I'll be fine." She answered stubbornly. "You need to get back to the horses."

"They won't be moving from there without me," He answered confidently, Rain's eyes shone in awe, he knew those animals pretty well. "Let me carry you, my lady."

"You don't have to force yourself to." She muttered as she struggled to get up once more which ended up being futile; Doni's eyes narrowed, at least she should be able to use her other leg even if one is sore.

 "What happened to your other leg?" He grabbed her other leg and his eyes widened, they were both sore, how could both of her ankles be twisted? Rain didn't answer but he could recall pushing her yesterday, it was probably his fault her legs hurt and this one was also his.

"Let me carry you." He offered.

"I can take care of myself," She muttered. "Just go back."

"How do you intend to go back to your residence when you can't walk?" He asked curiously.

"I will crawl even if I have to." She answered sniffing back her tears, somehow she sounded hurt. "I should be there by morning."

"Why do you refuse my help?" He queried and she sat upright, she knew it was already pointless to try to stand.

"Because you are only forcing yourself to help me," she answered, gripping her skirt tightly. "I don't know a lot of things but I know when someone is pretending, and right now the only thing I feel from you is intense hatred."

Doni became silent, he felt attacked.

"But I don't blame you even if you do hate me, I understand how you have been treated by my family." She wiped her tears with the back of her hands and once more she tried to get up again. This time she grabbed hold of one of the trees within her reach. "I won't act out of character again, I will keep my distance away from you and I won't trouble you again."

"Get on my back," He offered as he knelt with his back to her. "I can't let you go back like this. As long as you will never trouble me again, let me take you back."

Why did he change his mind? Maybe because Doni was now holding the pain relief balm in his hands, he figured out that she came to him to give him the ointment.

He only wanted to pay back his debt.

So that someone like her would have nothing against him, he never wanted to be indebted to an offspring of that man.

Much less to his bastard daughter.