Not So Friendly Anymore

(Merry Christmas everyone just a little something that I wrote real quick to celebrate. And a bit of a request from Deadpool. (Annoying Asshole))

(Hope you enjoy it, and have a merry Christmas)

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Snow blanketed the streets of New York as Christmas lights twinkled from every corner. The penthouse atop Parker Industries gleamed with festive cheer. A towering tree adorned with silver and blue ornaments stood in the corner, with presents spilling out beneath it. The warm smell of cinnamon and baked cookies filled the air as soft holiday music played in the background.

Peter Parker, wearing a festive red sweater with a webbed snowflake design, was busy adjusting a lopsided star on top of the tree. Silver Sable leaned against the couch, her silver hair catching the glow of the lights. She wore a sleek white dress, simple yet elegant, and sipped hot cocoa as she watched Franklin and Valeria Richards argue over the correct placement of candy canes.

"Franklin, you can't just bunch them all on one branch!" Valeria scolded, her voice filled with mock irritation.

Franklin, grinning mischievously, held up another candy cane. "But it's called strategy! This is the defense branch!"

Susan Storm, sitting cross-legged by the fire, chuckled as she strung popcorn garlands. "It's Christmas, not tower defense. Just help your sister."

"Yeah, Franklin," Peter added, finally stepping back from the tree with an exaggerated pose. "Listen to your mom. She's got the mom tone and the invisible powers. Bad combo to mess with."

Sable smirked. "You should talk, Peter. You've spent twenty minutes on that star."

Peter rolled his eyes and mockingly bowed. "You wound me, milady."

The laughter was interrupted by a knock at the door, followed by the booming voice of Thor.

"Peter Parker! Open your door, for I have brought yuletide cheer!"

Peter glanced at Sable, who sighed but couldn't hide her smile. "You invited Thor?"

"Actually, no." Peter opened the door to find Thor standing there, holding an enormous sack filled with what looked like wrapped gifts and, inexplicably, a fully cooked turkey. Behind him stood Bruce Banner, bundled in a scarf and hat, holding a plate of cookies.

"Thor. Bruce. Uh... Merry Christmas?" Peter stepped aside as Thor swept into the room like a winter storm, immediately dropping his sack by the tree.

"Greetings, friends! I come bearing gifts and food fit for a feast!" Thor announced, placing the turkey on the dining table with a flourish.

Bruce followed, looking slightly sheepish. "Thor insisted. He thought it would be fun to... 'surprise' you."

"You're always welcome here," Susan said warmly, standing to greet them. "Though I wasn't expecting... a feast."

"Every Christmas needs a feast!" Thor boomed, already removing his red cape and draping it over a chair. "Where is the mead?"

Peter raised an eyebrow. "This is a family-friendly Christmas, Thor. Hot cocoa?"

Thor's face lit up. "Hot cocoa! A beverage most wondrous. Yes, I shall partake."

As Thor settled in, Bruce joined Susan by the fireplace. "It's nice to see you all. I figured we'd stick around for a bit before heading back to the lab."

Before anyone could respond, the door swung open again. This time, it was KC, KingCannibal to those who didn't know him well. Clad in a dark leather jacket and jeans, he carried a wrapped box under one arm. His sharp smile widened as he took in the scene.

"Well, well. Didn't expect to see the Mighty Thor here," KC said, his tone amused.

Thor looked up, a mug of cocoa already in hand. "KC! Join us in celebration, for it is the season of merriment!"

KC set his gift on the table and smirked. "Merriment, huh? Let's see if I survive it."

Peter grinned and clapped KC on the back. "Come on, KC, it's Christmas. Even you can't be a buzzkill tonight."

The group settled into an easy rhythm. Franklin and Valeria roped Thor into helping them build a gingerbread house, though it quickly became clear Thor's idea of "helping" involved using icing as battle paint for the gingerbread men.

Bruce ended up in a quiet conversation with Susan about the latest scientific breakthroughs, while KC and Sable engaged in a surprisingly spirited debate about the best Christmas traditions from around the world.

Peter, watching from the couch, felt a rare sense of peace. For all the chaos in his life, this moment, this gathering of friends and family, felt perfect.

As the evening wore on, the group sat down to exchange gifts. Thor presented Franklin and Valeria with Asgardian trinkets that glowed faintly, much to their delight. KC's gift for Peter turned out to be a custom-made web shooter attachment, engraved with the words, "For when things get messy."

Peter laughed. "Thanks, KC. I'll be sure to think of you when I'm knee-deep in Hydra agents."

By the time the clock struck midnight, the tree was surrounded by torn wrapping paper, and the table was littered with empty plates and mugs.

Thor raised his mug of cocoa. "A toast, my friends! To camaraderie, to joy, and to the never-ending battle against... whatever foes may come our way!"

The group cheered, even KC raising his glass with a smirk.

And as the snow continued to fall outside, Peter looked around the room, his heart full. For one night, at least, the world could wait.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered, leaning back in his seat.

Before he could enjoy the serene moment, the door burst open with an overly dramatic crash, revealing none other than Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool, dressed in a bright red Santa suit over his usual costume. He held a sack that suspiciously dripped red liquid, but judging by the candy cane sticking out of it, it was likely (hopefully) syrup.

"Ho, ho, ho! Guess who's late to the party because someone, and I'm looking at you, writer, forgot to invite me!" Wade exclaimed, pointing directly at a nonexistent audience.

The room went silent for a beat.

"Wade..." Peter started, pinching the bridge of his nose. "What are you even doing here?"

"Crash landing into the narrative because I was rudely left out of this charming little Christmas special," Wade answered, tossing his sack into a corner. "Seriously, Parker, you're going full Hallmark here. Got your makeshift family, festive clichés, warm fuzzies, and yet, no Deadpool. It's like forgetting to put a katana in my arsenal. It's unforgivable!"

KC, standing by the fireplace with a mug of cocoa in hand, froze mid-sip. A vein visibly twitched on his forehead. He lowered his mug and glared at Wade. "Wilson, shut. Up."

"Oh, relax, KC!" Wade waved him off, pulling up a chair and sitting backward on it. "I'm just here to bring some spice. You've already got the readers hooked on your broody anti-hero vibe. You should thank me for adding some meta-flair. In fact—" Wade turned his masked face toward the imaginary camera, "Hey, readers! Quick question! Anyone up for writing a reaction fic to this masterpiece? KC here loves those but is too busy being broody and mysterious to write one himself. Poor guy."

KC's jaw clenched as the vein in his temple throbbed more violently. He set his mug down and took a deliberate step toward Wade. "Wade... shut. Up."

"See, that's the thing about KC!" Wade continued, ignoring him. "He acts all big and bad, but deep down, he's a softie. Probably cries during Pixar movies. Bet he's got a ton of reaction fics bookmarked. Come on, readers, do the guy a favor. He'll—"

KC had heard enough. With a low growl, he launched himself at Wade, tackling him to the ground with a thud that shook the room.

"DO YOU EVER STOP TALKING?!" KC roared as he pinned Wade, who somehow still managed to wave cheerfully at the camera.

"Never! It's my brand!" Wade chirped, entirely unbothered by KC's murderous glare. "And you're welcome, by the way, for reminding everyone how much you love reaction fics. Now, let's hear it for the readers! Round of applause, everyone!"

The rest of the group watched in bemused silence. Thor scratched his chin. "Is... this part of the tradition?"

Bruce sighed, setting down his plate. "No, Thor. This is just... Deadpool."

"Should we stop them?" Valeria asked, glancing at Susan.

Susan shook her head. "Honestly, it's probably better to let KC work out his frustrations."

Meanwhile, Peter groaned, rubbing his temples. "This is why I didn't invite him."

Silver Sable, sipping her cocoa, smirked. "Still, it's entertaining."

As KC wrestled with Wade, who continued to narrate his every move like a sports commentator, the festive mood in the room somehow remained intact. For all the chaos, it was shaping up to be a Christmas to remember.

"Merry Christmas, everyone!" Wade yelled mid-wrestle, somehow pulling a sprig of mistletoe out of nowhere and holding it above KC's head. "Now give me a smooch, big guy!"

KC's growl reverberated through the room as he tightened his grip.

Peter sighed. "Yeah. Definitely never inviting him again."

As the wrestling match between KC and Deadpool reached its chaotic conclusion, Wade suddenly threw up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay! I come in peace! And with gifts, because I'm a generous soul. No need to thank me. Just bask in my holiday cheer."

He hopped up, somehow managing to wriggle free of KC's grip, and began pulling oddly-shaped presents from his endless pockets and pouches.

"Let's see here..." Wade muttered, rummaging around. "Ah! For Franklin, the game you've been dreaming about but couldn't get because it sold out faster than Thor's hair-care products." He handed Franklin a pristine copy of BattleMace 42 Million: Space King 2. Franklin's eyes widened with delight.

"No way! You got this?! It's been sold out everywhere!" Franklin exclaimed.

"Of course I did, kid," Wade said, giving him a thumbs-up. "Deadpool's got connections. Don't ask where I got it. Or who I might have had to 'negotiate' with."

Wade turned to Valeria next, pulling out a sleek device that looked suspiciously high-tech. "And for you, smarty-pants, a genuine AI butler! Codename JARVIS 2.0. Don't tell Tony I swiped this, he'll cry. It's embarrassing."

Valeria blinked, her jaw dropping. "You stole this from Tony Stark?!"

"Borrowed," Wade corrected, leaning toward the imaginary audience. "That's lawyer talk for 'I totally stole it.'"

Susan crossed her arms. "Wade, you can't just—"

"Hold that thought, Sue," Wade interrupted, pulling out two small packages wrapped in bright red bows. "For you and Sable, matching color-coded lingerie! Yours is blue for Invisible Woman vibes, and yours is silver because... duh." He waggled his eyebrows. "For the future, ladies."

Both women turned bright red, their mouths opening in shock.

Sable glared daggers at Wade, her voice low and dangerous. "What... did you just give me?"

Susan, equally flustered, sputtered, "Wade, what is wrong with you?!"

Peter froze, staring at the scene as his brain tried to process what just happened. Then he noticed Wade winking at the imaginary audience again.

"Relax, everyone. It's just a gag gift!" Wade said, throwing his hands up defensively. "Unless it's not." He paused dramatically before stage-whispering to the imaginary camera, "Future plot development, am I right?"

That was the last straw. With a united yell, Susan, Sable, and Peter lunged at Wade, tackling him to the ground in a flurry of indignation.

"Wade, you absolute menace!" Peter growled as he tried to pin the squirming mercenary.

"Take it back, Wilson!" Sable demanded, her cheeks still burning.

"You're the worst!" Susan added, visibly embarrassed but determined to keep Wade from escaping.

KC watched from the sidelines, arms crossed, a smirk tugging at his lips. "I've got to admit, I'm enjoying this."

Thor chuckled, raising his mug of cocoa. "This mortal certainly knows how to stir the pot. Most amusing."

Bruce sighed, rubbing his temples. "I don't even know why I expected anything less from him."

Meanwhile, Franklin and Valeria stood to the side, Franklin laughing hysterically and Valeria examining her AI butler with a mix of curiosity and exasperation.

"Merry Christmas, everyone!" Wade shouted from beneath the pile of angry superheroes. "Best. Party. Ever!"

Thanks for reading everyone

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