Otherworldly - A Shadowed Awakening

Peak of Autumn, Week 5, Day 1

I stepped out of the carriage, carefully extending my legs so they would stretch as I took the steps one by one. Once my feet were on solid ground, I gripped Noir tightly. There were so many eyes. And I could feel [Otherworldly] working around me. It was in the way the light shone softly through the towering forest, the way the blue-green trees tilted just so to circle the clearing, the way the wind rustled my braids like a whisper. It all caused the knights to pay closer attention to me, to see me so wholly that I felt the urge to hop right back into the carriage and slam the curtains closed. But, of course, not everything could be [Otherworldly]. The Skill was so meta I couldn’t help but feel the pressure of it. I wanted so desperately to activate [Silent as a Shadow] and retract the aura Skill.

But it must have been my imagination, the feel of my aura dragging the Knights into my orbit because when I actually looked at them, they were all occupied. Half were tying up the horses, a couple were unpacking a box, and the final three were chatting. As I looked over them, I was still. My breath caught in my throat. But the knowledge that they were busy soothed Eunora’s anxiety, and the turning of my stomach began to calm.

I caught sight of the two squires calming their horses, Klein with a harsh look but soft hands and Arlen with a gentle look. Unfortunately for Arlen, his movements didn’t match his face, and he kept fumbling with the tack as he was tying the horse’s lead to a post.

They were chatting while they did so, and it was so casual I was envious. Where had my strength gone? Not the physical power but my prowess. My ability to take over a conversation –without the crutch of [Steal Nerves] or [Sophism]. A rage began to build within my gut. It was taken from me and replaced with Eunora. In irritation, I whipped my head back to the rest of the knights. The Dusk. In the brief moments I had been staring, they had already propped up tables –one of which was smaller than the rest and had a violet cloth draped over it. One of the knights was smoothing it out and placing a silver plate atop it. The knight, a man with black hair cut short and a scar that traveled from above his jaw to beneath his leather armors, seemed to be struggling with where to place the rest of the utensils. He kept placing a fork and then adjusting it, then picking it back up and placing something else down.

He was doing it for me, I was sure. But such things were useless. I wouldn’t have cared if it was a wooden bowl filled with stew –let alone the preserved meal I could see someone else pulling out of a container.

“Just set it down. I know what to do.”

The knight was so focused that he must not have noticed my approach because when I spoke, the metal in his hands clattered, and he snapped up straight. I didn’t think my voice was harsh, I was a child, and this knight was a fully grown man. But still, a blush crept up his face, and he immediately placed down the metal utensils.

“Apologies, my Lady.” He bowed his head. I hated it.

Is this what it would be like? Only passing moments of friendliness? And the rest formal reverence? It burned me, the knowledge that it was possible no matter what I did, this was it. All I could hope for was a smile or two, and a nice word, and consideration. Nothing more. Nothing to soothe my loneliness. I realized then that my hands were clenched tightly around Noir’s midsection, and I forcibly took a breath and loosened my grip. There was nothing for it.

I needed to be more. More than someone who was stewing in a carriage, isolated from them all. I wanted a connection.

“No apologies necessary,” I forced a smile, “Just there’s no need to bother with a formal setting. It’ll get tiring pretty quick.”

The suns were high in the sky, watching like wardens of the season. Half the leaves were fallen to the ground –the other half seemed to be clinging tightly. Only a few still looked alive. Winter was weeks away, and we had a deadline. We needed to be in Fellan before the season ended –the massive snowstorms that plagued the main estate were nothing compared to the high altitudes. Eunora remembered the horror stories. And I remembered the way Lina would lower her voice, as if letting Eunora in on a secret, only to terrify her with stories of frost-bitten soldiers and hypothermic peasants.

I sat, gently placing Noir on the table just out of the way of the table setting.

It had only been silent for seconds, but the anxiety was welling within me. I swallowed it and looked back at the knight.

“What’s for lunch?”

He gave me a stern nod, “Nothing fancy. Arguable if you’ll even enjoy it, my lady.”

I felt a genuine smile reach my face –he was half-joking. His voice was ribbing at worst.

“Sounds perfect,” I matched his stern nod, “I’ll take two.”

He laughed, a husky thing, and then a soup and sandwich appeared –some green fruit as well, and he went to eat with the rest. It wasn’t much, not really, but it was enough.

The coil wound around my heart released just a touch, and I could breathe.

The road to Adeline was long, it was four hours before we stopped to break, and we still had another six to the capital of the west. Over lunch, I ate and I listened. I heard we were to rest in Adeline, trade up our horses to true tougher steeds, and prepare for the rough journey that was crossing the triplets –a series of mountain ranges that covered the first half of the road to Fellan.

At first, I read the field guide, skimming through what looked interesting. Then, I began a proper read-through. I only got a third of the way through it when my mind became restless. Yes, it was nice to reaffirm the small facts Eunora knew, and it was interesting to learn of greater Maeve, but I wanted to mend darkness and bend shadows. I wanted to feel the comfort of night.

In my desperation, I closed the curtains of the carriage and took a deep breath. Looking around the dim area, I decided I needed to close my eyes if I wanted any chance at salvation, and as I did so, darkness overcame my senses. Silence reigned. I felt disconnected from my body as I attempted to sense the magic within me. As I attempted to activate my Skills without speaking.

[Silent as a Shadow]

I hissed it in my mind, all my Will poured into it. Yet still, nothing happened.

[Silent as a Shadow]!

I remained warm, without the ice-cold jolt of mana leaving me. I swallowed, trying to locate the ice in my veins. Where blood rushed, there had to be a trickle of magic beneath –otherwise, how would my Skills flood my system so easily? It had to be here.

[Silent as a Shadow]

I can’t find it. Maybe it’s the Skill.

[Sophism]! [Quick Calculation]! It’s not working. I continued.

[Weave of Darkness]

My breath hitched as I felt the shock of mana leaving my hands, and my eyes snapped open to watch as the shadows coalesced into a ball of yarn, neatly wrapped and falling to the base of the carriage. With a resolute nod, I used my Will to command the dark yarn to me.

[Shadow Manipulation]

Nothing happened. My Will wasn’t pushing my mana out as it had in elsewhere. I felt my breath hitch. It wasn’t working. My Will, my magic. Why had it only worked once? Was I so weak? So unskilled? As my breath quickened, I began to run through my Skills in my mind. All of them.

[Shadow Conjuration] [Otherworldly] [Mental Fortitude] [Sophi–]

Mana shot through my mind, chilling me to my core. What I felt was nothing like the usual shock of mana. No. This was pure violence as it tore through my mind.

Images began to flood me, images not of elsewhere but of here. Both mine and hers. Some were flickering in and out, words on a page –Skills require competence. Thus, it makes– Some were more solid. A green status screen shows level-up notifications. [Congratulations– They tied together and felt incongruous in tandem. Again, a flickering, a memory of a memory, a woman speaking. “It’s known. You break the level threshold–” I gasped, everything sliding into place. No longer were the thoughts fragmented.

I was sitting, curled up in the library, reading what Lina had assigned. We were working on System preparation. My birthday was only a season away now.

‘Skills, at their heart, are a measure of one’s abilities. Without a base measure of competence, they cannot be learned, taught, demonstrated, etc. Without reaching the first threshold of a Skill, one cannot truly claim that the Skill belongs to you. Again, Skills require competence. Thus, it makes sense that Skills reward their leveling. An increase in competence. Upon meeting the first threshold of a Skill, Level 5, the domain of a Skill expands. Rarely, the description will update. But universally, this is when the Skill can be utilized nonverbally.’

[Congratulations! Mental Fortitude is now level 5! New features unlocked.]

[Congratulations! Weave of Darkness is now Level 5! New features unlocked!]

[Congratulations! Shadow Animation is now Level 5! New features unlocked! Class experience applied!]

I had read the whole book! Lina had only assigned it two days prior, but I read it all. I was fighting to keep the smile off my face as Lina began her lecture.

“What Level is the first threshold?” She spoke, voice clipped.

I nodded sternly, answering with confidence, “Six.”

“No,” Lina’s smile was not a kind thing, “It’s known. You break the level threshold at five.”

I took a final gasp, coming back to the present.

“[Status]”

My eyes shot down to [Mental Fortitude].

“[Inspect]”

[Mental Fortitude: You have had your mind shaken to its very core. By being exposed to such traumatic mental attacks for a lengthy period, you gained the ability to partially nullify mental instability passively. In times of immense distress, this skill is capable of enacting treatment and coping mechanisms in order to restore stability. Total effect is increased per level. Evolved treatment and coping mechanisms learned with each level.]

“[Inspect]”

[Mental Fortitude: 1st Tier Skill. Passive and Active effect. No cooldown. Current level [5] out of [40].]

[Passive Effect: Utilizes a portion of mana stores to stabilize brain function and recover from mental trauma. Automatically enables the Active Effect if the condition [Madness] is applied to the User.]

[Active Effect: In times of distress, mana is infused and utilized based upon historical records of all Users who have possessed the Skill. Current treatment methods include Past Experience Application, Exposure Therapy, and Grounding.]

“What?” My voice cracked as I read my Skill, and I snapped my mouth shut.

Does this sadistic Skill actually have a purpose? A function? Something that can help?

“[Inspect] [Inspect] [Inspect]”

Boxes flooded my vision.

[Past Experience Application: Skill utilizes its passive cataloging of memories to quickly identify and pull anything related to the current state in an attempt to calm the User. Ability to accurately parse through memories is dependent on Divinity.]

[Exposure Therapy: Skill utilizes its passive cataloging of memories to quickly identify and pull anything related to the cause of [Fear]. Skill replays all instances invoking [Fear] to minimize the current effect and desensitize User.]

[Grounding: Skill utilizes its passive cataloging of memories to emphasize the moments the User can see, touch, hear, smell, and taste within the immediate vicinity of the User.]

My stomach rolled, and I had to swallow the bile that was fast creeping up my throat as a realization dawned on me. [Mental Fortitude] had access to my everything. It was the reason memories flooded me in the daytime. It could very well be the reason I’m still sane.