Otherworldly - A Shadowed Awakening

Peak of Autumn, Week 5, Day 1

It wasn’t immediate, no. The wide and winding streets of Adeline were not empty, but it was a near thing. It was the time of night when shops closed and bars thrived. I kept the curtains open, trying to take in the dark streets we traversed —they were lit with pale yellow magelights suspended a dozen feet into the air. They lined the road and lit the way.

I nearly missed it when the city guard finished speaking with Sir Rellar, but I caught it when the guard pressed his palm into the inner portion of the wall. Blue runes lit up and traced his hand before shooting up the bricks. Once they were level with the magelights, I watched as the runes split into two. One for each row of magelights. Then the lights lining the road shifted —what once was all yellow lights was now staggered with red orbs every other magelight.

I frowned. It was similar to the suns in the daytime. One yellow, one red. I flicked my eyes to the knights, taking in how their shoulders tensed, and suddenly they were all sitting upright, eyes laser-focused ahead of them. The squires both looked nervous —especially the clumsy blonde boy. His hands were wringing his horse's reins.

The world remained silent thanks to the carriage’s enchantments, but I could see the streets growing full as we rode through the city. As we followed the staggered lights, what once was a single soul every few hundred feet grew to be whole families standing on the side of the road. Some were smiling and laughing and holding their children up on their shoulders. Some were holding their dinner up to their mouth, eyes trained on either the knights or my carriage. Some were saluting the knights. Some were shouting and waving, and a few, though only enough to count in one hand, sent scowls to our group.

At first, I thought the lights everywhere had changed. Just our presence had shifted the very state of Adeline. But after several minutes, I watched as the streets split into three roads, only one of which had the red and yellow magelights. That was the road we took.

Anxiety welled within me as I watched the population of Adeline celebrate my arrival. My stomach turned. Somehow, despite their horrible natures, the Dawns remained beloved by their people. I felt Eunora’s awe welling up within me. And a small voice spoke.

It’s magical.

I quelled that foreign thought and swallowed thickly. I was just about to close the curtain again and pretend none of this was happening when I spotted a child smiling so brightly, our eyes meeting, causing her to wave ever more excitedly. Taken by her exuberance, I lifted my hand and waved hesitantly to her. Then I watched as those around her began waving as well. And then those between her and the carriage. As I held up my hand, I felt a nervous smile break across my face. Another foreign voice ran through my head.

They like me!

My smile dropped, and I slid back from the window –leaving it open. I couldn’t bring myself to stop watching the people waving in the dark.

-

It took another hour, and we passed through several gates leading deeper into the heart of Adeline, but we arrived at a brownstone-style house in a wealthy-looking district. The house was the width of a city block, and on either side were smaller houses in the same style. Some were attached to each other. And the whole street was alive with multi-colored magelights –not just the red and yellow that marked the arrival of a Dawn. In fact, the only stationary lights were the ones that were meant to mark our path. Blue and purple lights circled doorways, green lights flicked from one side of the street to another, and orange and pink lights darted from person to person.

I decided this district must consist solely of nobles based on the lower foot traffic and the size of the homes. If not, then this is a wealthy merchant’s district. The near nonexistence of foot traffic after the most recent gate passage reaffirmed my thoughts, and I waited for the carriage to stop right at the front of the house.

Gripping both Noir and Haze, I slide out of the seat and stood waiting for the door to open. It only took half a moment before I was face to face with Sir Limrick. I gave him a wobbly smile, and he nodded.

“This way–” He started before turning his head sharply and directing the squires to approach. His voice grew noticeably rougher when he spoke to the boys versus me, “Arlen, Klein, with me.”

Around us, several well-dressed individuals stood. Before we’d stopped, they’d been milling around, absorbed with watching as the magelights flickered in a chaotic rainbow. As I climbed down, their eyes flicked to me, down to Noir and Haze in my arms, and then back to me.

Fortunately, there were several knights between us.

I followed Sir Limrick quickly after that, not meeting any of the watchers' eyes. I felt a knot form in my stomach. As we entered the brownstone, I took in the spiral staircases and the ornate wooden archways. I took in the way the lights were dimmed, and no one was there to greet us. Some of my tension was released.

“I’ll take you to the dining room – Captain Rellar sent word ahead of our arrival to have dinner ready for you,” Sir Limrick said over his shoulder.

Arlen and Klein flagged behind me. I nodded even though Sir Limrick was looking ahead, leading us through a hallway that wound in a semi-circle.

“Where–” I shook my head, restarting, “What will you all be doing?”

Sir Limrick looked back again, that same pressed lip expression on his face, “Arlen, Klein, and I will be with you until you head to sleep –the rest will eat and begin preparing the horses for the swap tomorrow. Then we’ll switch guard duty, and the three of us will help with preparations.”

I looked over my shoulder at the red-headed boy behind me, Klein, I reminded myself. I turned my head back to Sir Limrick. “What is the schedule for tomorrow?”

“First thing, you have your Affirmation. While you’re at the church, half of the contingent will accompany you, and half will be switching the horses and preparing a different carriage.”

I furrowed my brow, “Why a different carriage?”

Behind me, I heard a snort, and I snapped my eyes back to Klein –who wore a slight smile. It was not a kind thing. Somehow that both relaxed and irritated me. Meanwhile, Sir Limrick spoke, his voice level, “We can’t take a Dawn carriage the entire journey –every time we passed city gates, it would cause an issue. Officially, you’re here for your Affirmation, and then the carriage will head back to the estate.”

Another flare of the rage beneath my skin came upon me, consuming the anxiety from earlier.

They can’t even own what they’re doing. C o w a r d s. The Dawns are cowards. Despite all their pomp and ceremony, despite what their subjects think.

Sir Limrick continued on as if my expression hadn’t darkened. But how could he know? He wasn’t looking back at me anymore. Perhaps that was a grace I wasn’t thankful enough for. Because Klein, the red-headed squire, had narrowed his eyes at me. I couldn’t bring myself to care about what he said as the blood rush pounded in my ears.

And then we were standing in a room with ornate wooden panels for walls, images of the dual suns radiating power expertly carved into each panel with a swirling border separating them. This room was clearly not meant for entertaining –rather than the oversized twenty-seat dining table at the estate, this had only eight seats. Enough for the Dawn family. No more. A simple chandelier hung above the table, and Sir Limrick led me to the head of the table. But rather than the actual head, he pulled out the seat to the side.

Even now, I’m not allowed to claim the head. I sighed to myself, wondering how long I’d have to deal with the rules of this stifling family. How long until I could leave it all behind. How long would I have to suffer? Eunora had already been raised here, her life on a path of darkness long before I Awoke and all but shoved her aside.

As I sat, I looked at the spread before me. All single servings –from the blue salad to the small bird roasted and decorated with fruits native only to Maeve. Food that didn’t have equivalents in elsewhere. But I knew this body liked them, and once again, rather than unpack the anger, I clenched my grip on the two stuffed animals and stiffly set them in the chair beside me. Forcing my hands to relax, I gripped a fork and began eating in silence.

I ignored the uncomfortable feeling of having the two squires watching my back. I ignored the tight smile that Sir LImrick was giving me across the room. I ignored the fire under my skin. And if I ate with a touch of malicious compliance, with poor manners and nonexistent decorum, they never said a word. Not that night –not to me.

It was made worse by the fact that it was delicious. I enjoyed every bite.

-

I couldn’t sleep.

Sir Limrick, Arlen, and Klein had brought me up to a room I didn’t bother to investigate –but that I was sure was just as opulent as the rest of the brownstone. I had only flicked on the light for as long as it took me to strip and change into a nightgown.

Sir Limrick had given me a pre-packed bag.

“Maria gave them to us. Two months' worth of clothes put together for you,” he’d said as if she’d done me a great favor. As if she hadn’t been paid to take care of my needs.

Perhaps she had. No one else was going to pack for me. I quelled my own anger with reason. She’s paid to care for you. Just because she wasn’t paid enough to want to go to the borderlands, that doesn’t mean she should be a target of my rage.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek in frustration as I flicked the light off and dove into the bed, crawling in between where I’d set the bunny/panda pair. I closed my eyes, ready for the sins of the day to wash away into a dreamless sleep.

It never came.

The night continued on, the click-clack of a nearby clock marking the passage of time, and still, the burning of my own anger kept me up. My mind never slowed, focusing on all the wrongs that had been done both to me and to her.

It felt as if it would consume me –as if my very blood was fuel for the fire.

I took a deep breath in, a slow breath out. Again. And again. Until my eyes grew dry with the desire to sleep, I took measured breaths. It was making it worse the longer I was unable to forget the world. Unable to drown out the rock in my gut. Unable to erase the memories of the crowd. Unable to ignore the kindness of having all of Eunora’s favorite foods laid out for the start of this journey. It shouldn’t infuriate me so. I shouldn’t be affected negatively –not like this. But perhaps that was the point.

I was lost in my anger, unable to find a way out. Unable to see anything but red –even when the actions screamed of kindness, of care.

Am I scarred by memories I was forced to relive?

Unlike in the months before, I knew it was time to make a change. A choice. So I activated a Skill I had only consciously used once. I was tired, so tired of being empty or angry or anxious.

[Mental Fortitude]

A spike of mana rang through my head, throbbing. And the feel of my own memories showed up. Memories of only hours before.

The sight of soft orange curtains, their golden embroidery shining in the magelight. A small, white bust of some man I didn’t know —his hair long and flowing past his cut-off neck. A fireplace filled with flickering orange magelights instead of fire. A yellow duvet without any embroidery. Five white pillows with soft yellow designs that tied to the simple duvet.

The feel of the cool night air tickling my nose. The soft-scratchy combination of Haze brushing my arm. The light pressure of Noir on my back. The warm duvet pressing down.

The sound of—

I fell asleep to the memories that flickered through my mind. The soothing thoughts quelled my anger gently.