Pebble: I Finally Got My Barbarian Build, But it’s Support?!

Bard closed the party chat. "Can you believe this shit?" he grunted. "Not only does this thing speak for Alan, but it's not even letting our chats get through!" Metal clangs echoed through the cave as goblins slammed their weapons against their shields.

Bard and Fred stood by Phil, who was out cold in Fred's sentient wheelchair. Fred had to keep the chair in line as all the fighting made it excited. It occasionally tried charging in with their unconscious friend still in the seat.

"Stop that! Get back here!" Fred yelled at the thing as it wheeled toward one of the taunting goblins.

The red-shirted man was handling the hordes of green enemies pretty well, but he was slowly getting pushed back. They were completely surrounded, and behind them two goblin warlocks held a portal open with their bare hands. The portal was a glowing red swirl of energy, and the team could vaguely make out a huge dark city on the other side. The goblins were clearly trying to push them toward the portal, making Fred and Bard extra nervous about what lay inside.

A wave of goblins poured out of the portal and started cheering, "'ELL YEAH, BROTHAS! GET 'DEM BOIS!" the biggest goblin yelled in command. This one had a scarred face and wore a green bandana around his forehead. The other goblins charged Phil, Fred, and Bard.

"You mind taking care of that? I'm a bit predisposed at the moment!" the red-shirted man yelled as he punched a goblin square in the jaw, breaking it effortlessly. He kicked the goblin to the ground and refocused on the other four pouncing on him. Bard had been playing his guitar the whole time, which somehow made Fred feel like he could move freely despite his age.

"I'm gonna gut them!" said a small goblin next to the bandana-wearer. He pulled out two daggers and started running at them like an anime protagonist.

"I'm on it!" Fred shouted as he cast his Gust of Wind skill and shoved the party of goblins back into the portal.

The dual-wielding goblin screamed as he flung backward into the portal, "STAB! STAB!"

"Heh, nice!" the red-shirted guy replied.

"I don't want to dieeeeeeeee in this cave!" Bard kept singing as snoring, gurgling sounds escaped Phil's lips. Bard looked up in horror at a goblin who was jumping down at him with arms wide open.

"OH MY GOD, KILL THIS GUYYYYY BEFORE I'M IN A GRAVE!" He tried to keep up the musicality, but it was tough while a goblin attempted to suplex him from the top of a random totem pole.

"I'm going to make you watch!" the goblin shouted as he fell through the air.

Fred hit the falling goblin with another Gust of Wind, which sent the bastard into the ceiling of the cave. The goblin's head cracked against the rock above, and he fell to the floor, dead.

"Keep it up, boys! Ahahaha!" the red-shirted man cheered.

Fred admired how the man fought with just his fists and feet. This was a true pugilist before them, expertly dispatching his enemies with his bare hands. Fred looked at Bard. "You okay, man? Thank God this psycho is on our side, right?"

"YeaHHhhHH ThaNK GoD!" Bard replied with musical bravado as he continued to strum his guitar.

Another wave of goblins emerged from the portal and joined the horde that surrounded them. Fred's shoulders slumped, and he exchanged a worried glance with Bard. "Is this it for us? I don't want to die like this, man."

Phil's head, which had been resting on his left shoulder, suddenly rolled to the right. "Ugh, guys?" he asked groggily. His health was now at half.

Phil: 16/32 HP

"DONCHA TINK YOU SHOULD WATCH BELOW?!" A goblin appeared from the cave floor like a mole rat. He was wielding a shovel and tried to bash Fred's knee with it, but Fred brought his staff down on its skull and leaped over the passing shovel.

"Whack-a-mole!" Fred yelled instinctively.

Another goblin popped out of the same hole with a baseball bat, swinging down on Phil's head. A loud cracking sound echoed. Phil's head flopped back to the left side, and he was out cold again.

Phil: 2/32 HP

"PHIL!" Fred shouted, but he remembered Phil still had a few Life Rocks on him and would continue to heal. They just had to keep defending him. Fred quickly cast a second iteration of Sentient Tool, and a small buckler shield appeared in front of him. He pointed to the hole in the ground. "Hold the hole!" he ordered.

The shield jumped with joy and planted itself over the gap in the floor. Muffled knocking sounds began underneath it.

No matter how many they held back, the goblin hordes kept replenishing through the portal. At least fifty goblins were still in the cave. Bard looked at Fred with a lost expression. Fred couldn't reassure him; he felt the same foreboding dread.

"You might want to kill those locks!" the red-shirted man yelled, pointing at the two warlocks who held the portal open.

The group of goblins that Fred shot through the portal came back, wheeling in a cart. The cart carried a single CRT television that played a metal music video.

"Hehehe! Take a look at your team leada! Look at da man you follow!" the big goblin in the green bandana roared at Fred and Bard.

Fred pointed to himself. "What the hell? Are you talking to me?"

The goblin grinned. "I AM! 'ello Fred! I'm a huge fan! I love Mr. Wheely!"

Bard's skin prickled with goosebumps. "How do you know Fred's name?"

"He just said he's a fan, bro!" the red-shirted man shouted.

"LOOK!" the goblin simply replied, pointing to the television.

Both Fred and Bard gazed in shock, realizing the music video showed Pebble tearing through a horde of goblins as they tried to flee. He cornered them in some movie theater and slaughtered them with giant rocks.

"Yooo, whaat the FUuck is gooing on?" Bard kept singing.

"Is that Pebble?" Fred clapped a hand over his mouth. "How in the world is that a support build?"

"Do you think this is real?" Bard momentarily stopped playing. Fred felt his muscles weaken until Bard snapped back into it. "Oh shit, my bad. Do YoU tHiNk ThIS IS ReAL?" he sang, and Fred's muscles inflated again.

"Look at that face!" Fred pointed at the screen, which clearly showed Pebble smiling. Bard's stomach twisted into a knot at that familiar grin. Fred went on, "That's the exact face he makes right before he tries a new skill!" Just then, the Pebble in the music video used a cleaving attack that sliced through goblins and theater chairs. "See?!"

Pebble started wailing on a theater chair. "What the fuuuuck?" Bard sang at a higher pitch.

"Wow, your friend is badass!" the red-shirted man said with an impressed tone.

Fred stared at his friend on-screen. For the first time, he felt a disconnect from Pebble—Alain, the guy who once preached peace and cooperation. Just who was he, really?

"AHAHAHAHAH, YOU WILL PAY FOR HIS DEEDS!" The goblin's face looked deranged.

Pebble felt like his stone armor had turned into a stone coffin. He eyed Deox, the red book wielder, and dread tightened in his throat. Deox simply smiled.

"Alain, is it?" Deox asked.

Pebble's body spazzed at the pain lancing through him. This was the first time someone in this world had spoken his original name, and it hurt worse than when his friends slipped.

Deox waited until Pebble stopped writhing. "Ah, indeed. It seems that was your Earthly name," he said with the same pleasant smile.

Pebble stood in the middle of the room, trying to remain as still as possible, his heart hammering in his ears. His armor felt ice-cold against his skin. When did he get so cold?

'No, I'm a golem. I'm a golem. I'm a golem', Pebble thought to himself, desperate to maintain the facade.

"No, Pebble. You're not a golem. This too shall pass." Deox's smile never left his face as he placed a hand on Pebble's shoulder. Pebble gaped in horror as Deox's hand phased right through the stone armor. Instantly, it all crumbled into sand. Deox locked eyes with the newly exposed Hero.

Pebble felt naked and terrified standing before him. The two faced each other quietly.

"Hello!" Deox said cheerfully.

A party member has leveled up!!!

A party member has leveled up!!!

A party member has leveled up!!!

A party member has leveled up!!!

A party member has leveled up!!!

A party member has leveled up!!!

"Whoa!" Puffy whispered, hidden with Larry behind their illusion.

"What's going on? Do you think they're okay?" Larry asked, slightly too loudly.

"Shh!" Puffy held a finger to his lips. "We're still hiding, dummy—pipe down." Footsteps echoed ever closer, vibrating the floor in rhythmic clomps. "Not sure who's stomping around with big-ass clompers, but don't get us caught!"

A party member has leveled up!!!

A party member has leveled up!!!

A party member has leveled up!!!

"Wow. Our boys are really putting in work," Larry said in a quieter voice.

"Yeah, and it's starting to worry me," Puffy said.

Down the hall, muffled voices rang out. "So, Mr. Golly, uh...thank you for not killing us."

Puffy gestured for Larry to stay low. Larry nodded in reply.

"Oh, please. Think nothing of it. Can you believe I'm a father now? I can't wait to play catch with my new son!" boomed a voice from further down the hall.

A party member has leveled up!!!

A party member has leveled up!!!

A party member has leveled up!!!

"Oh, gods, there's way too much happening at once," Puffy muttered, breaking into a sweat.

Suddenly, the source of those heavy steps turned the corner. A giant stone golem, reminiscent of Pebble in his stone armor, came into view. Puffy and Larry froze, every hair on their bodies standing straight. The golem was staring right at them.

Its feet slammed together with a loud thud. It kept its gaze locked on Larry and Puffy.

"Why are you stopping, Mr. Golly?" a nervous man in a red cloak asked.

"Hmm." Golly rubbed his rocky chin. "How do you men feel about gnomes?"

Puffy's mouth went as dry as a desert. He forced himself not to tremble.

A man snickered. "Heh, they're hardly worth notice, if you ask me. I once hired a gnome to teach my thirteen-year-old son how to fight, and my son won the first day, mind you!"

"Hmm, indeed." Golly looked into Larry's eyes. "And how do you feel about turntail caddies?"

Larry felt his face go pale. He leaned toward Puffy. "Does he...know me?" But Puffy was too terrified to speak, which only terrified Larry more.

"A what?" said the same man from before.

"A caddie? Like in golf?" another man asked.

"Sure." Golly resumed walking, each step shaking the floor. Puffy saw the stone crack beneath his weight.

"Well, if your caddie runs away, how're you gonna golf?" someone mused.

Golly never broke eye contact with Larry. He strode right past the illusion, turning his head fully around as he moved down the hall.

"Exactly! If your caddie disappears, all your stuff vanishes with him," he said with a gravelly laugh. "Anyway, I heard earlier that the goblins next door captured some bandits. They mentioned a stout little guy with a huge backpack. I'm supposed to be on the lookout for that puny man." Golly was practically brushing Larry's hidden face.

Puffy's heart nearly exploded. If Golly reached out even an inch, he and Larry might end up like smears on the cave wall.

A party member has leveled up!!!

A party member has leveled up!!!

A party member has leveled up!!!

Larry felt something trickle down his leg.

Puffy himself was so wound up he thought his muscles might tear.

Golly continued down the hall, but his gaze never left Larry. His head remained twisted backward as he vanished from sight.

"So, if you see a puny, insignificant, ugly, probably-smells-like-piss kinda guy with a big backpack, send him my way so I can introduce him to his maker," Golly said directly to Larry through the illusion. Larry's knees nearly buckled. He used every ounce of will not to collapse.

The men accompanying Golly grew uneasy about his reversed head, trying and failing to track his line of sight.

"See something on that wall, sir?" the red-cloaked man asked.

Still watching Larry, Golly walked on and quoted, "For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known."

"Bro, what?" one of the men muttered as they disappeared down the corridor. Golly's fiery red eyes stayed locked on Larry until they finally vanished from view.

Larry fell to his knees, breathing hard.

Puffy dropped onto his backside and produced a pipe unlike his usual one. He took a long hit, then exhaled, trembling. "Hey...want some?" he offered, hands still shaking.

Larry noticed it smelled different this time. He didn't care to question it and instead took the pipe with equally shaky hands, silently praying.

Please, Reeki, guide us through this cave...