Real Waifu Catalog: Warcraft Beta Tester

4/25 Morning

I laid low in the bushes for a bit, and tried to sneak back towards Northshire. Unfortunately I ran into Auffrey, who was flanked by two militiamen and very concerned to see me out here. "What are you even doing here alone? You're a terrible fighter! What exactly would you do if you found someone?" She was shaking me by the shoulders at this point; honestly, it was really sweet that she was so concerned but it was also going to be harder to explain.

I did my best to look contrite, refusing to look her in the eye as I mumbled, "I'd follow them and use my amulet to tell Anetta where I was." Yeah. That seemed like a reasonable strategy. Auffrey didn't seem impressed.

"Oh? Where are you, exactly?" Shit. She had me there.

"Uh. Still in the valley, and not too close to the vineyard or the mine?"

"Alright. You're coming with me. I can't trust you to avoid being foolish on your own. And what was that about communicating with Anetta? Why Anetta, and how? She's all the way back at the abbey. She's not in any search teams."

"She's the one who has a necklace I'm linked to." That got her attention.

"Wait. You have magical necklaces capable of linked two way communication?" I nodded. "And you sold one of the set for fifty silver?" I shook my head; she didn't need more evidence of my incompetence. "Thank the light you aren't that dense at least. You're giving me an explanation after the search is over."

Alibi secured. All according to plan. I'm a genius and I meant to do that. Don't look at me like that, I was doing great for a few days in. Probably. I don't have much of a standard of comparison, okay?

••••••••••

The rest of the morning was fairly uneventful, thankfully. Nobody found anything but a few mangy wolves and a Defias sighting that went nowhere. Auffrey made me accompany her team for my own safety, but didn't expect me to do much more than stick around. I checked my amulet for updates, and nobody seemed to notice I wasn't paying much attention. They weren't primed to recognize someone diddling around on their phone. Anetta was at 78 hours left, which was about on track. Darcell apparently was trying to lean into the amulet because she was at a shocking 60 hours left. Was she actively trying to be brainwashed?

Communication talent stepped in and provided me with a guess. She was a desperate young nobody. I'd offered her power, at least enough power to escape past a blockade of soldiers. Good thing I got to her and not one of the hundreds of cults Azeroth had to offer.

I had unlocked a few new collar settings for the two of them. Anetta got a fun, if probably evil, idea. "Rejecting Erich's romantic or sexual advances" would be paired with shame. Darcell was shaping up nicely, so I had a reward and a punishment for her. "Training the mind and body to be stronger" was paired with euphoria. I figured this would mean she would get as strong as she possibly could. "Putting someone else's orders or needs above those of Otto of Westfall" would be punished with emotional numbness.

I was pleased to see Drusilla marked with a blue circle indicating that she was captured. She seemed in good health too, thankfully. She didn't have a control panel, which probably meant she wasn't given complimentary jewelry. Unfortunate, but not that big a deal. I could give her a necklace when I saw her, and it wouldn't count against the hard cap on jewels I had.

Two Times had apparently sold his necklace to someone named Lividia, who had a solid 165 hours estimated till capture. I paused when I saw that she was tagged as being a dragon; how exactly did I get that lucky? I also wondered if Remy was dead, given that the only dragons I knew of in the area were the aggressive black dragon whelps in Redridge. I hope not, but I'm not going to dwell on it either. I cautiously input "hurting humans without serious provocation" paired with shame. Just a precaution; maybe I could condition her into having a conscience?

On the missions front, I was presented with a popup redundantly informing me of Drusilla's capture, and that I had adequately drawn attention to myself in the process of completing the mission. My own incompetence saved me on that part; I'd totally forgotten about the showyness requirement. I counted my blessings and checked my new mission.

For the Crusade

Cause the death of Kirsta Deepshadow, an alliance agent near Hearthglen. Receive a bonus if you accomplish the goal without actively using any resources allocated to you by the company (you will know if something counts)

Rewards: instant capture of one tier 3 or lower Scarlet Crusader + Body Defense + 1 credit

Bonus: Human-passing members of your retinue will be assumed by the Scarlet Crusade to be low ranking members in good standing unless you dispel that belief.

I winced. This was another one that was trying to get me to travel by offering me the big bucks. I confirmed on my map, and found Hearthglen deep in the Plaguelands. For those of you unaware, they are exactly as pleasant as they sound. Only the undead, a small number of righteous paladins, and a far larger number of violent zealots live there. Hearthglen was one of the main bases for the zealots.

At least it was on the same continent this time, and it would give me an in with a fairly powerful faction that had at least one person I wanted my hands on: Sally Whitemane, high inquisitor of the Scarlet Monastery. Partly because she was a gorgeous white haired woman who had a fondness for tight red clothing, but mostly because she was on a short list of priests that were definitely canonically capable of resurrecting the dead, and soul talent advertised that my talents would quickly grow until I equaled or surpassed my teachers. I'd be as strong as Anetta within the week. I needed someone much more powerful, or I needed to start cross-training.

On the other hand, she was an insane zealot and to get access to this path close to her, I'd need to murder Kirsta Deepshadow. I didn't remember anything about her, but my best guess from the description was that she was probably a quest giver monitoring the Scarlet Crusade's base in Hearthglen. Sure, me taking over the crusade from the inside by sneaking necklaces onto people would probably do more good in the long run than anything she was doing, but it was still pretty clearly murder unless I just decided to treat the people in this world as totally disposable. I wasn't quite ready to do that.

I also saw that I had my first major mission, with a popup explaining that when I completed a moderate tier mission, I would be issued a major one, to a maximum of 3.

The Weathered Grave

Put to rest the soul of Morgan Ladimore in Duskwood. This must be done without relying upon company assets. Receive a bonus if you never directly interact with his current form in the process.

Rewards: 10 credits, Archeus, instant capture of Watcher Ladimore

Bonus: all members of Darkshire's Night Watch will instantly trust all members of your retinue and will consent to any reasonable request without question or suspicion

They had me at ten credits. I mean sure, getting a town guard in my retinue would be good too, not to mention whatever the hell Archeus was, but ten credits was enough to buy something nice for myself. The bonus seemed like it would be really useful if I were going to spend much time in Duskwood, or if I wanted to just capture the whole town. Most importantly, it was relatively close. As long as I still needed to walk everywhere myself, proximity is king.

••••••••••

"So your family had the ability to make enchanted jewelry that allowed for long distance communication between wearers, as well as providing benefits to health and mental wellbeing, and which could keep time and do sums for you." Auffrey was giving me a look like I was the biggest idiot alive. I'd thought I'd already seen this look, but I'd only seen a shadow of it. A phantom. A reflection in a smoky mirror.

"That's the gist of it. I'm just following mom's design, but if I use them correctly I bet I can be a big boon to all of Azeroth. Even with all the materials I can only make one per day, anyway, and I have no idea how it'll come out. I don't want to just hand them over to the king after making them in a basement somewhere, either. I want to be the one out there helping." Half truths, the best kind of truths. Auffrey wasn't in my retinue or even on the path to it yet, but with any luck she might have some ideas.

She let out a sigh, "well I suppose I can't blame you too much for it, I'm here because I want to take down the Defias. Unlike you, however, I didn't have much else I could do towards that end. If you found yourself a patron, they could fund your work. You could be at the center of a whole network of officers, nobles, everything." Much more importantly, I'd be surrounded by people who would be closely monitoring what my jewelry actually did, and soon they would be aware of the fact that I wasn't actually making it.

"I'd rather just do that with a group of friends I can trust." I leaned in and whispered, "maybe even a few people among the Horde, if I can find any. I want peace. Or at least cooperation. I suspect that the world isn't going to get any more stable anytime soon, and there are too many demons and Scourge running around for us to be so focused on fighting people that could be our allies." That shocked her. Thankfully, it didn't also repulse her. "The Alliance has plenty of people who can do what I can do, especially whenever Dalaran finally rejoins. But if I can find enough people that want to do good, I can bring them together and help them coordinate in secret. I've heard some Night Elves and Tauren are allied; maybe that could be the start."

The look of disbelief on her face told me that she was impressed with my vision. I think. "So you think that you, a dispossessed noble with a talent for jewelcrafting, will start an underground alliance that will end the war with the Horde?"

"Probably not easily. But if I can encourage cooperation against our mutual enemies like the Scourge, maybe we can at least make sure that whoever wins that war someday remembers that there are good people on the other side. More importantly, at least the winner will be a group that has somegood people instead of just a bunch of demons or something." It was a solidly idealistic cover story for my even more ambitious goal of uniting the Horde, the Alliance, the goblins, and any other faction I can manage under my absolute rule, offering up their most beautiful women as tribute. I'm here to beta test a whole world; I should really work on a project. "I'd like to have you helping me. If you're willing." I pulled out a yellow topaz pendant on a thin bronze chain, which had appeared this morning in my inventory.

"I suppose I should. To keep you from committing treason or getting taken in by charlatans, if nothing else." YES. I HAD HER. "But if I join, you had better let me in on your insane schemes as you come up with them. Some of them might work, but from what I've seen so far you need someone who can tell you when you're being a fool." I could live with that. I even agreed with her. Anetta was sweet but so far she seemed to have a very narrow field of expertise, and at least so far Darcell hadn't done much to distinguish herself. I didn't even know Drusilla yet.

"Deal, as long as you agree to keep quiet about this plan, and my amulets in general, to anyone who we don't agree on beforehand." We shook on it, and she put on the amulet. "You'll need to keep that on for at least a week. It needs to attune to its user. As things stand, I can send messages to it, but you can't use it for much." I assumed. The shop seemed to imply that members of my retinue could use a lot of the features independently but I hadn't had the opportunity to test it out.

A finger tapped on my shoulder and I turned, surprised, to see a beautiful dark haired woman in a red robe. "I'm sorry. I'm new to the abbey, could you show me the way to our rooms? You're another trainee, right?"

"Sure. Auffrey, we can hammer out the rest of this later, okay?" She seemed a bit irritated, but probably couldn't think of a way to dismiss the other woman without being very rude. At first I thought that she was just another new trainee, if a hot one, but I realized quickly that she knew exactly where she was going.

'Ah,' I thought. 'Drusilla found me.'