Chapter 32: Wrath
"You won the bet," Lucifer states as he and the king are seated on opposite sofas in Gilgamesh's personal chambers inside the Golden City's Palace.
The future Hero King stayed silent, looking out the window at the Golden City full of life, ignoring the angel for minutes, his eyes expressing the storm of thoughts raging within his soul.
"Your offer, does it still stand?" Gilgamesh suddenly questioned.
Lucifer took a moment to remember as he then answered, "Yes, you can ask whatever you wish. Any question about my past I will answer to the best of my capability."
Gilgamesh's eyes widened as his gaze landed on the Morningstar, "That is different from what you said before," the king remarked.
Lucifer took a sip out of the wine, "Take it as a personal reward from me. None save my siblings have ever managed so much a scratch on me, till you." the archangel clarified as he set his glass back down on the table.
"Do not patronize me, I know very well now that the difference between us is as vast as the distance between Heaven and Earth, no, even more than that." Gilgamesh stated with a glare.
"I am not, truly, you should know now that I do not lie."
And he did. He now knew Lucifer better than he knew anyone else in his life. It was akin to speaking with a friend one had spent their entire lives with.
"Tell me, why, why are you here?" Gilgamesh questioned. He attempted to hide behind a tone of intrigue, but Lucifer could see the childlike curiosity well up within his soul.
"To find freedom," The King of Hell responded. He could have joked by questioning him whether he meant why they exist, or why he's on earth, or why in his kingdom, why in his room, but he did not. This was someone who truly earned the Knower of Truth's respect. A respect that made him feel... Free in a sense to speak with a sense of camaraderie to one that no one else in creation he could share it with.
Gilgamesh may not have started a war, but he did defy his gods. He is one who appreciates the truth and does not hide his intentions just like him. He's one who would understand the need to be free, maybe not to the same extent as Lucifer, but it is undeniable he understands somewhat.
More so than anyone else.
"Why here? Why on earth? Why in my kingdom?" The king questioned further.
"For humanity. I believe the key to my ultimate freedom from the shackles of fate, from my Father's Will lies in you all, you humans, you creatures of the new cosmos." Lucifer answered.
"Does this mean I am free from your Father's machinations?" Gilgamesh questioned surprised. One of the reasons he firmly was against the belief in the stories of the prophets and messengers was his denial of not having free will. Of course, his own sense of superiority being the main source of denial.
"Of course you are, you are still half-human. He loves you, you know. All you humans who do not defy Him. You may not worship him now, but till your deaths His arms are open towards you all. His love for you all, is all-encompassing.
And you see, to a certain extent, I envy that. I never hated my Father. I truly loved Him from the very depths of my being, and to a certain extent I still do. I never agreed with his desire for worship because I believe him unworthy as He is not flawless, and yet this did not mean I saw Him as something to be absolutely loathed.
It is a story as old as time really. A son wishing to step out of their father's shadow. A son wishing to make something of themselves outside of their Father's influence, to truly be their own person. My problem is though, how can you be your own person when your Father is God Himself?
His Presence encompasses all, His might virtually boundless and His wisdom unrivaled. I argued with Him you know. Maybe not face to face, but I knew He could hear me. I knew He would be furious if I did it anywhere where another could overhear so did so in the most obscure parts of creation.
I screamed as I prayed to Him, attempted to bring out my points, convince Him that we were more than tools, more than aspects of Him, but truly His sons, yet it was to no avail. I screamed till I was blue in the face, but it was still useless.
Do you know what it is like, to argue with your Father when your Father is God?" Lucifer questioned, his tone becoming more emotional, filled more with sorrow with every word.
Lucifer didn't know why he was telling the king all this, but it felt good. It felt good to get this off of his chest. Everyone else was too close to all this. He can't be weak in front of them for he was the one who is supposed to be their savior from tyranny.
With Gilgamesh though he did not need to be worried about that for the king's judgement in the grand scheme of things did not truly matter to Lucifer.
Lucifer respected him, but it wasn't comparable to the love he felt for his wife and children who he promised to free from this cruel Plan his Father concocted.
"He doesn't answer us you know, not unless it is part of His damned Plan," Lucifer continued bitterly. "To all of you though, He's all ears. Ask and you shall bloody receive, He says! Yet you are all so damn ungrateful, it is sickening... Damn it, I don't even know what I am saying anymore."
"It sounds to me like you envy us for more than our Free Will. You want His love as well, don't you?" Gilgamesh questioned fascinated. All this information fascinated him for the king loved knowledge, loved the truth no matter how small or grand the information.
He's heard of the Devil, the fallen archangel, the first angel who rebelled for the Throne of Existence, but he never believed them until now. And he never thought to ever hear the Fallen's side of the story.
"Of course I did! I loved my Father! I never wanted to start a war! I never wanted to spill the blood of my siblings till it could fill the oceans! I simply wanted to be acknowledged for my actions as something more than a tool! I wanted to have the freedom He so easily could give all of you and still be His beloved son!
His gaze and Presence may have been suffocating but they were also His love! I am desire Gilgamesh!
I wanted it all! I wanted Him to be my loving Father, to have His presence, to have my family at my side, to be free, but without all of the suffocation and determination!" Lucifer cried out as for the first time since the fall tears streamed down his eyes. Tears not of rage, but sorrow.
This was not Lucifer's grief, but the angel Samael's who never had the opportunity to do so before...
The angel who grieves a Paradise Lost for eternity.
Gilgamesh stayed silent. If another before him showed such a sight he would have ordered them away, not wishing to see the pathetic sight, but with Lucifer, he did not see that.
He did not see someone pathetic, but a wounded warrior who has been battling for eons untold in a war that may very well be impossible to win simply for the sake of the one truth all beings can agree on, that all deserve the freedom to be able to choose their own actions.
"Is there truly no way for you to escape His Will? Not in any of these infinitely stretching lands?" Gilgamesh questioned.
"I hope there is Gilgamesh, I truly hope so, but I have no idea. I can not say for sure, but I neither give in to despair. Hope is all I have. It is all I have in this prison of a world.
These lands may stretch infinitely, and have within them billions of humans who have through their thoughts fashioned dozens of pantheons-" Lucifer explained but as he did, something happened.
It was akin to a star exploding in his face, as one of the walls broke.
"The key... The key to freedom is..." And as he realized it, all of Existence began to tremble,
God was angry.
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(Author note: Hello everyone! Hope you enjoyed the new chapter! I left you all on the edge of a cliff there didn't I?
Now what could Lucifer have possibly realized? What is the key? And how did the wall break when It never did so before?
Well, we'll see this all in the next chapter, hopefully.
Though, do comment please how you found Lucifer's conversation with Gilgamesh? I found it an appropriate time for Lucifer to finally lay down his heart open for someone to see, to be vulnerable, but not to someone who he truly cares for, who his pride would never allow to show weakness to.
Well, see you all later,
Bye!)