chapter 1
1.
This is a story about love.
**
[‘Championship Contractor’ Jamie Lee announces retirement]
[ ‘Homage to Jamie who gave me the trophy after 20 years’ ]
ㄴ [Manchester United supporters applaud]
[‘Special Journeyman’ Jamie Lee focuses on retirement news. ]
[Reason for retirement? ‘I’m tired of repeated injuries’ ]
It was just a passing word, but articles have already poured in.
“Jay! Really?”
On the way out of the clubhouse.
Rather than the full name of ‘Jorge Benjor’, a teammate who is more often referred to as ‘Beng’ heard the news and came running.
“uh.”
“What the fuck. I can’t live without you!”
“…Beng, please.”
It’s been 10 years since he came to England, but Ben’s English has barely improved.
“If others hear it, they misunderstand it.”
“doesn’t care.”
“I care.”
“do not know. Anyway, Jay. I was supposed to have a beer at Damian’s house today, would you like to come?”
He must have said whatever he wanted without asking permission from Damien. I couldn’t help but laugh
“I have an appointment.”
“Appointment? You don’t have any promises.”
“…”
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Leaving behind Beng, who was brightly stabbing himself in pain, he climbed into the sports car.
My father would be worried about the news of his sudden retirement, but he couldn’t help it because he had already made a promise. I dragged my horse and headed to the meeting place.
It was neither a weekend nor a rush hour, so the traffic was not blocked. Thanks to this, I was able to arrive 40 minutes earlier than the scheduled time even though I stopped by a flower shop on the way.
“uh?”
However, the other side was already there.
“You’re here early.”
“Now that I am unemployed, I have plenty of time. I came early because I had nothing to do.”
I stood next to my father-in-law.
“…”
We stood side by side for a while and said nothing.
I didn’t feel any strong feelings or anything. If I had to define it, it was closer to a calm mood.
I put the flower down with a calm mind and looked at the tombstone, the phrase written on it, the name written underneath it, and the weeds growing around it.
how much time has passed
I took my eyes off the tombstone and looked up at the sky.
Although it was cloudy, it didn’t look like it would rain right away.
So did I.
It was sad, but I didn’t feel like crying right away.
Today is August 16th.
It is the anniversary of my wife, Hannah.
It was for this reason that I bought flowers on the way home.
For the flowers, I chose purple hyacinths, which Hannah usually likes.
But what is the flower language of purple hyacinth? Was it eternal love or sad love?
“You appeared in my dream yesterday.”
I was lost in my thoughts, but my father-in-law spoke in Korean, not English for the first time in a long time.
“I saw it in my dream yesterday too.”
I slowly turned my gaze to my father-in-law.
“The day before that, and the day before that, I met Hannah in a dream.”
“I said something useless.”
At my reply, the father-in-law laughed bitterly.
“By the way, how long do you intend to live alone?”
“Until I die.”
Then we resumed the conversation we had on Hannah’s anniversary.
“Well, considering Hannah’s personality, it’s easier for her not to be buried in the grave.”
However, unlike the original pattern, the next words continued as a joke.
“ha ha ha.”
I couldn’t help but laugh helplessly.
yes. Hannah had such a personality. He always wanted to have me by his side. Whether as a boyfriend, husband, or football player.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t always with her.
**
After parting with my father-in-law, I came straight to my father’s house.
“Oh, what’s going on here? Didn’t you meet your in-laws?”
My father was sitting on the sofa in the living room, watching football reruns.
“I came to meet you. Did you see the article?”
“What article?”
I burst out laughing. I was just worried
“I am retiring.”
“ah. so? Why don’t you run a little more?”
“Oh, no. The run so far is also acceptable.”
There was a Stoke City FC game on TV.
“Stoke City, how are you today?”
“Peshichi is good.”
“Five. He used to play in the Turkish league, right?”
While I was here, I decided to spend time with my father. I sat next to the sofa and watched the football game together.
“Still, I’m glad it came up to Part 3.”
It’s been over 10 years since Stoke City crashed.
The club, once part of the Premier League, has fallen to the fourth tier, putting its past reputation to shame.
“I like the flow. If I do well, I might see him go to the Premier League before he dies.”
“What, are you going to live to be 200 years old?”
My father is a longtime Stoke City fan.
And at the same time, he is also a one-club man for Stoke City.
“Jamie.”
“Yes.”
“How about playing one more season at Stoke City before you retire?”
“…”
At my father’s sudden words, I was momentarily at a loss for words.
“It’s not like you can’t play at all. Right now, even last year, I recorded the king of help. I think it would be okay if it was a tier 3 league.”
Even though I kept my mouth shut, my father continued talking.
“You may be wondering why I am saying this all of a sudden. But, Jamie. I’ve been wanting to say this for a long time. Regret is not a bad thing.”
Regret is not a bad thing.
At those words, I felt something throb near my chest.
“To be more precise, a man should have regrets. That way I can become a better man.”
“…so, did your father become a good man?”
I asked after a brief silence.
“It’s done. It’s useless now.”
To this, the father responded plainly.
It was an understandable story.
My mother passed away, and my father would have constantly regretted it.
As a result, he may have become a ‘good man’, as his father said.
But even so, the dead mother does not come back alive. This is probably why my father said ‘it’s useless now’.
“Then what about me?”
If so, how am I?
am i different?
I couldn’t help but feel that way.
Hanna is dead.
No matter how much I regret it, she won’t come back.
“Even if I become a good man, what difference does it make?”
“Because I can fix it when the opportunity comes.”
“···Yes?”
“Because I can right wrongs.”
I couldn’t understand what the hell he was talking about. I didn’t even want to understand.
From the old days, my father often made noises like this. But today it was so bad.
“Jamie. Do not be afraid of regret.”
“…”
I looked at my father in silence for a while, then got up and left the house.
coo coo coo. Like a scene in a movie, thunder struck as soon as it came out. I got into the car right away.
I put the key in and started the engine. It looked like it would rain soon. I have to go home before it rains. I thought so, but I couldn’t quite start.
To-do-du-do, to-do-du-do.
Eventually, raindrops started pounding on the bonnet of the car. The sound got louder and louder, and then the rain got so strong that it felt like being submerged.
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Listening to the sound of rain filling my ears, I cried for the first time in a long time.
**
[Jay, I heard about the transfer. Are you going to Dortmund? I believe you will do well wherever you go. ]
Where did I go wrong?
From when you moved to Dortmund instead of Stoke City?
Ever since he stayed abroad even after finding out about her pregnancy?
Ever since I heard the story of her not feeling well?
I don’t know. Maybe all the choices I made were wrong.
No, it actually was.
i was the problem Everything came from my fault.
“father. I decided to go to Stoke City. In fact, Stoke had no intention of recruiting, but my father-in-law helped me in the middle.”
Over the past few months, I have endlessly reviewed the past 10 years. It was a revival filled with regret and remorse. Then, in the end, I decided to follow my father’s words.
[ . . . Well thought of, son. ]
My father supported my decision.
Yes, this is enough.
I don’t know if I’ll become a better person or not, but I didn’t want to leave any more regrets.
I’m going to Stoke City.
Until my ankle, which had been injured throughout my career, was shattered, I was planning to devote myself to Stoke City until the knee cartilage, which is now barely functional, wears out and disappears altogether.
Hannah is no longer there, but I thought I could lighten the load on my mind by doing this.
[ Jamie. ]
“I have to go in now. I’ll call you back when I’m done…”
[This is your last chance. ]
I was about to hang up the phone because I had to take a medical test right away, but my father cut me off and said that right away.
[If you ask me in the past, you won’t get an answer. I just know it’s my last chance and hope for the best. ]
I wondered if he was talking about some kind of floating cloud.
Woowook Huh.
However, my vision suddenly seemed to go dark, and soon, not only my sight, but also my sense of smell and hearing began to fade.
what. what happened
Even in the midst of embarrassment, I tried to keep my mind.
However, my efforts were futile and I passed out right away.
“lee? what’s the matter. It’s fine?”
And when I open my eyes again…
“Surprise. I thought you fainted. ha ha ha. Well, it’s worth it. I received an offer from a prestigious team that is said to be the best in Europe.”
“What the fuck, what the fuck.”
I was back 10 years ago.