Second Try Idol

Chapter 359: Choose (2)

When I suggested a drink, I had in mind the neighborhood pork belly restaurant. Somewhere with its greasy, oil-stained tables and buzzing atmosphere. However, Goh Yoo-Joon had other ideas and whisked me away in his car to a high-end tuna restaurant with private rooms.

He saw my confused look and explained, "This place has better security. I will drive you back later."

Ah, that was right. The places we could go and things we could eat were vastly different now compared to our days in Chronos when everything was shared.

"Thanks. You’re paying for it, too, right?" I teased.

He paused, then nodded with a relieved smile. "You should pay for next time, then."

Had Goh Yoo-Joon always been this mature? Well, the Goh Yoo-Joon I used to chat with was just turning eighteen, a far cry from this more composed mid-twenties version in front of me. Because I had adjusted to a younger version of him, it was downright strange to see him act so formal now.

After we entered the room and placed our orders, the conversation dried up. We weren’t here just for food or drink, but to reconnect. However, finding the words was harder than I expected.

For two people whose lives had diverged so suddenly, finding comfortable topics was definitely challenging.

I hesitated to break the silence because I thought he’d eventually make the first move. As I tried to appear nonchalant and sipped some water, Goh Yoo-Joon finally broke the ice. "How have you been?"

"Not too bad. What about you? You haven’t been active recently."

"I’m working on an album, so everything has been a bit busy for me."

"Ah, good luck with that."

Soon after, the tuna and sake we ordered were served. Since there was no conversation, my appetite naturally kicked in. I found myself enjoying the sake and savoring the tuna slices while still avoiding eye contact with Goh Yoo-Joon.

Meanwhile, he hadn’t even picked up his chopsticks yet. Instead of eating, he initiated another conversation.

"Hyun-Woo. What brings you out today? You usually don’t respond to my invites."

I tilted my head, puzzled. Had Goh Yoo-Joon always addressed me without my last name?

My memory was hazy because we hadn’t spoken enough for me to remember. Likely, he also couldn’t recall whether to call me Suh Hyun-Woo or just Hyun-Woo, opting instead for the more familiar tone. It struck me how distant he and I had become in this world.

I tried to hide my bitterness and retorted, "Why do you keep asking to meet? You know I don't like going out."

"I know, but still..."

Our talk had a tense undertone, and Goh Yoo-Joon bit his lip before downing his sake in one gulp. "Sake doesn’t really suit me. I prefer soju."

"Why are you changing the subject?"

"Why do I keep asking to meet? Because you seem to avoid it, that’s why."

The Goh Yoo-Joon who used to make jokes, sing, and participate joyfully in variety shows was now absent. This guy in front of me was a subdued adult, seasoned by life’s harsh realities and societal absurdities. He seemed desperate to find the balance in his life.

Yet he still tried to look at me as if I was still the eighteen-year-old from our past.

"You know, you’re my only friend."

"That’s a lie. You have lots of friends."

The guy who liked making and looking after friends was claiming he had none? That was ridiculous.

"No, really. I don’t have friends."

I didn’t respond. At eighteen, I’d get drunk quickly, but I wasn't even tipsy now.

"Can’t we just clear whatever’s between us and go back to being friends like before? I keep calling you because I want us to reconnect."

"...If that were possible, I would’ve done it long ago."

I could’ve easily agreed by saying "Sure, let’s do that." However, irritation was the first emotion to surface when the happiest moments had suddenly been snatched by reality.

When our paths in life changed significantly, our conversations no longer aligned. It was impossible. I was now a trainer dealing with financial issues and debts while Goh Yoo-Joon was enjoying his celebrity life. Our lives, goals, and circumstances had all changed, so even if we became friends again, what would we have to talk about?

"It’s not that I blame you or the Elated members, but you guys have built so many memories without me."

I thought I felt this way before the plane crash too. The members with whom I was supposed to debut went on to create their own memories on numerous stages while I was left grappling with debts. The fond memories I shared with the Chronos members made me yearn painfully for a camaraderie that no longer had room for me in Elated.

Even if I agreed now to "let's forget and be friends again," invisible walls would likely remain.

Wouldn't that be too painful?

And above all...

"Hey, hey. Look at me," I said.

"What?"

"Look at my face."

Goh Yoo-Joon flinched and slowly raised his eyes to meet mine, but he quickly looked away.

I let out a hollow laugh and said, "You want to be friends again? Even though you can't bear to look at me?"

He had not been able to look at my face since the incident. Not because it was grotesque or disgusting, but because of the guilt and sorrow that overwhelmed him. Seeing Goh Yoo-Joon like this wasn't something I wanted.

The grip on his glass tightened, and the sake quivered as his hands shook, revealing his nervousness. The Goh Yoo-Joon before me looked deeply sad. The eighteen-year-old version of him overlapped with the current Goh Yoo-Joon.

"What would you do if I suddenly got hurt or died?"

"What kind of question is that? I wouldn’t be able to bear it."

"No, I’m serious. Think about it for a moment."

"That

was my serious answer. I really wouldn’t be able to bear it."

It reminded me of the Goh Yoo-Joon from Chronos, who always responded seriously no matter how casually the question was thrown during our gaming sessions. Ah, this made me want to cry. I really missed the real Chronos.

"Hyun-Woo, I..."

"I know it’s not your fault. But I think it's too late to go back to how we were."

We had become too distant in this timeline. It was nobody’s fault, but the way we saw each other had changed too much. If I hadn’t known what it was like to be with Chronos, maybe this wouldn’t have been so hard. But knowing that and seeing those guarded, dark looks made it impossible to be close with him again.

"It’s somewhat my fault. I wish I could have been there when you needed someone the most."

"Just think of it as my inferiority complex acting up. Sorry. You really did try to take care of me through check-ins..."

"It’s okay, no need for apologies. Let's just enjoy the meal while we’re here."

"Alright."

We could finally relax and enjoy our meal. We talked about how everyone was doing and discussed updates on the other members.

"Jin-Sung is going to be on a UNET competition program."

"Jin-Sung? Why? What's he doing competing with those kids?"

‘After having been an idol himself, was he trying for a comeback?’ But seeing Goh Yoo-Joon’s confused look, I realized my thoughts had inadvertently drifted back to Chronos’ Jin-Sung.

"He is obviously going as a judge."

"Ah, right, that makes sense."

"Even if Elated was called a flop, Jin-Sung’s dance skills were always renowned."

"How can Elated be a flop? They even topped Billboard Korea."

Goh Yoo-Joon replied nonchalantly to my surprise. "Being number one in Korea isn’t as big a deal these days. There are so many other groups who got that rank."

"You are talking like someone who’s too used to success. Do you realize how amazing that is? From an outsider’s point of view, you guys are still idols who stepped down at the peak when people clapped for you."

"Thanks for putting it that way." Goh Yoo-Joon smiled faintly, which was a reminder of how much the lightness and playfulness had faded over the years.

"Oh, right. There is something I’ve been wondering about," I said.

Goh Yoo-Joon checked the time and looked up at me attentively. "What is it?"

"About that UNET competition show you guys did before debuting..."

"Oh, what was it called again?"

"Pick We Up."

"Right, right."

It seemed to be a distant memory for him. He frowned and stared into space as if trying to dredge up details from a long-forgotten past.

"I don’t have great memories from that time."

This was another way this Goh Yoo-Joon differed from the Chronos’ Goh Yoo-Joon. The eighteen-year-old version of him regarded winning Pick We Up as one of his proudest moments.

"Why not?"

"Well, we were pretty much treated like extras, which is understandable. There wasn’t much payoff, and it was stressful every episode."

"How far did you guys get?"

"We managed to make a mark from the unit stage onward, pushed forward, and I think we ended up third?"

"Who was first?" I casually asked after hearing that Jin-Sung was going to be a judge, suddenly curious about the original winner of Pick We Up.

"Uh... Who was it again?" Goh Yoo-Joon seemed to struggle with the memory as he pondered for a moment before resorting to his phone to look it up. Finally, he found the answer and let me know. "It was Street Center. High Tension came in second."

"Ah, I see. I was just curious. It suddenly popped into my mind."

"I see." He checked the time again, signaling that his schedule was drawing near.

I placed my chopsticks down, gulped down the last of my sake, and stood up. "I should get going. Thanks for the meal, Yoo-Joon."

"Yeah, sure thing. Uh, Hyun-Woo..." Goh Yoo-Joon hurried to his feet and called out to me as I turned around. He paused, seemingly uncertain. Then, he finally asked, "About what you said earlier, I get it... But can we still keep in touch, maybe here and there?"

"Yeah, let's keep checking in on each other," I responded casually as I slipped on my shoes and headed toward the entrance.

Despite our deep conversation, Goh Yoo-Joon's consistently cautious demeanor was hard to watch. His repeated, "Hyun-Woo, Hyun-Woo," sounded overly tentative, almost making me cringe.

I felt an irritating tug at my skin, similar to a burn being scratched. Yet I found myself longing to return to Chronos because I missed my friend Goh Yoo-Joon more than ever. I was not sure when I would be able to go back, if ever.

As these thoughts crossed my mind, a text box suddenly appeared in front of me with the letters inside it slowly morphing.

[Choice for Event 2 has been made.]

"What?"

I got exasperated and muttered. "What the fuck? At least give me a heads-up about what choice or event this is supposed to be."

‘What am I supposed to make of this when you say the decision was made out of nowhere? Is this some kind of game? It doesn't feel like any game I know of!’

As I stared down at the window with a baffled look, the text shifted once more.

[NPC[1] from Event 2 will disappear due to the protagonist's choice.]

"..."

A sudden realization struck me like a cold wave. I instinctively spun around to look back at the room where I had been in with Goh Yoo-Joon.

"...Goh Yoo-Joon?"

There was no answer. Goh Yoo-Joon had vanished.

1. Huh? Is the genre of this novel some sort of gaming-related sci fi? I am confused :0 ☜