So I'm a Bat, Big Deal

"Not too many Elite Giant Boars roaming this area, huh? I moved one a couple of weeks ago in Rapid River, which is where I typically sell. But since I'm here now, I thought I'd see if the local guild might be willing to make me a fair deal. If you're keen, I'd be up for some business while I'm in town. My storage is pretty reliable, so I'm not in a hurry to sell, but I'd be willing to part with it if the offer suits me." Hopefully, Rapid River is a real place, or at least sounds like it could be a real place.

"Absolutely! We'd love to do business with you. We have more than enough resources to provide prices that are on par with the Rapid River district," she said while clenching her fist in determination. 

"I'm allowed to purchase Elite Giant Boar meat at two gold coins per pound."

 I eyed the scale, which said six thousand pounds. Bane, why do they measure weight in pounds? I can also hold a conversation with anyone without any trouble.

[Hooray for you! Using the Dark Lord System comes with the thrilling advantage of automatic translation. Because, obviously, the last thing you want is for your minions to misunderstand your commands while plotting world domination!]

How Convenient.

 Suddenly, a man with light brown hair and striking berry purple eyes entered the room with enthusiasm. He donned brown linen trousers and a dark green tunic, cinched at the waist with a thick leather belt adorned with several pockets. His short brown boots completed the look, and on his finger, he wore a prominent signet ring featuring a stone that echoed the color of his eyes, displaying the same design as the front door: two cleavers crossed in an X. He was slightly shorter than me, and upon spotting me, he eagerly extended his hand for a shake, glancing at the Elite Giant Boar on the scale.

 I offered my hand, and he greeted me with a big smile. "I'm Berry, and it's wonderful to meet you! How fortunate that you brought in some Wild Boar meat! I bet it's been forever since you've seen that. So, where did you stumble upon it?"

"My hunting grounds are a well-kept secret."

His smile faltered a bit, and I felt his hand tighten around mine. "Oh, it was just a little mistake," he said. "I'd gladly give you 10 Electrum for each pound of this Common Wild Boar meat."

I let go of his hand. "You might want to take a closer look; this isn't just any Common Wild Boar meat. I know precisely what I've got and its true value. I won't stand for someone who thinks they can belittle my expertise and try to cheat me. I've got other buyers ready to offer a fair price, and in return, they get first dibs on the premium goods I bring in. I was only passing through and thought I'd do some business here, but if you want to keep throwing insults, I can easily take my trade elsewhere." With that, walked over to the boar meat and stashed it back into my bracelet. Then I turned and began to walk out of the building.

"Three gold per pound for this Elite Giant Boar meat with the promise that you'll come to us first when you have future high-quality products!"

I stopped walking and turned back around. "Four per pound with the promise that I'll come to you first, but only if you don't try to lowball me again."

"...I can pay four this time, but in the future if you have more Elite Giant Boar I can pay two along with the ongoing promise."

"Deal."

"Excellent! Let's conclude our arrangement in the meeting room, and I will get you your membership ID along with your coin payout. Would you like me to transfer the payment directly to your bank account, or would you prefer to receive your coins on the spot?"

I placed the boar meat back on the scale. "For now, I'll take the coins directly." I'll have to stop by the bank and have an account made. 

"No trouble at all, Sir," Berry said, bowing slightly before leading me into another room. There, a large table dominated the space, alongside a computer and two strange machines I was unfamiliar with. "Please step into the square, and we'll prepare your membership ID."

As I entered the square marked on the floor, a radiant light enveloped the area, followed by a gentle click. "Please take a seat.

While your ID is processed, we can wrap up the paperwork, give you your coins, and you'll be all set to go. Remember to come back with any other interesting products you discover. Kindly fill out this form and sign at the bottom."

I filled in the form, which requested simple information such as my name and age, but it also asked for my species.

"Do you have many non-humans in your guild?"

"Absolutely! The Great Gourmand Guild prides itself on its inclusivity! A remarkable forty percent of our members are non-human humanoids, featuring a diverse array of beings such as elves, dwarfs, beastkin, argonians, naga, halflings, abh, nomes, shades, magi, and half-beasts."

I paused for a moment and then took off my hooded cloak. 

With a look of astonishment, Berry stepped back and performed a deep bow. "Lord Enzo, I sincerely apologize for my lack of decorum; I was unaware that I was in the presence of a vampire."

"Just Enzo works for me." I went ahead and put down my species as vampire, throwing in a cheeky little joke by signing the form as Enzo Nosferatu. That was that. I sat at the table, waiting for him to finish tinkering with the machines. A moment later, he strolled over and handed me my membership card but when I looked at my hair it wasn't dark gray anymore, it was teal!

Great Gourmand Guild

Name: Enzo S: M A: 38

Species: Vampire

Membership Number: 7892333

Gourmet Hunter: Grade Level C

Enzo Nosferatu

Coming Next Time: Gotcha Gear