So the Duchess Disappeared

18. Yearning to Touch

Psyche fell into a deep sleep after a long time.

She thought it was a very long time since she had felt such comfort.

Her body felt light, and there was no pain.

Come to think of it, it seemed like she hadn’t had a proper rest since having the child. Her body had grown heavier with each passing day, and she was constantly tired. However, it was somewhat peculiar that all that heaviness had disappeared, which was a relief, but it also felt strange.

It felt like she had seen a very beautiful child in her dream.

Was it a girl? Or maybe a boy?

Regardless of gender, the feeling was incredibly warm, and it made her feel good.

The child had beautiful, shiny, dark silver hair that seemed like a combination of her father Clint’s black hair and her silver hair.

The eyes resembled her mother’s, beautiful and pink. As if the child had taken the most beautiful parts of the Duke and Psyche, the child was stunning.

Psyche loved the child so much that she reached out her hand.

She wanted to hold and touch the child.

But she couldn’t.

‘My baby.’

She missed the child terribly and felt a deep sense of sadness, so she called out to her child endlessly in her dream.

‘My baby, let’s meet soon.’

The child remained unresponsive, just sleeping with their eyes closed.

‘My baby, Mommy wants to see you.’

Psyche wanted to call out to her child, but her voice wouldn’t come out, leaving her frustrated.

It felt like there was an insurmountable barrier between herself and her child, which made her feel distressed.

‘Baby!’

Still, the thought that she would be able to meet her child soon calmed her heart.

She longed to touch them.

She had never been a mother before, and it was her first time experiencing such emotions, just because she had been carrying the child for a few months.

Psyche was amazed by her own feelings.

‘We’ll meet soon.’

Finally, she swallowed her words about “let’s meet soon.”

The child gradually became faint and distant.

Like an illusion…

“Ugh!”

She was startled, her upper body springing up from the bed as if she had been shocked.

She let out a scream-like moan and, upon waking, Psyche blinked her eyes for a moment in a daze.

Something was off…

It might still have been midnight as the pitch-black sky loomed through the window with all the curtains pulled down.

With no moon and only a scattering of stars, the night felt incredibly lonely.

Psyche slowly surveyed her surroundings.

It was an entirely unfamiliar landscape.

It was only then that she realized she had awoken in the palace.

Ah, she had managed to escape the Duke’s mansion with the help of the Prince. And…

The memories of what had happened a short while ago began to trickle slowly into her hazy mind.

How long had she been asleep?

She had definitely escaped from the forest and thankfully met the Prince.

No matter what had happened…

She suddenly threw off the blankets that had been covering her.

“Huh?”

Psyche looked at her now flat and light stomach and couldn’t believe her eyes. She momentarily thought she might still be in a dream.

“Oh, my! Thank the gods!”

Suddenly, a voice from the side sounded.

It was too dark to see, but one of the palace physicians was diligently looking after Psyche. He was Kyle, the royal physician for the Prince.

Kyle had fallen asleep, and the sound of Psyche stirring woke him up, causing him to be taken aback with a shout.

“Oh, my goodness! You’ve finally come to your senses. I must inform His Highness right away. Please don’t go anywhere. The weather is still cold, and you haven’t fully recovered.”

Kyle spoke rapidly and disappeared.

Shortly after, he reappeared with the Prince in tow.

The Prince, who had almost run to get there, looked at Psyche sitting on the bed with an absent expression and then quickly approached her, pulling her into his arms without hesitation.

The limp woman was like a withered tree in the winter, devoid of any vitality.

Psyche slowly, weakly pushed the Prince away.

“Your Highness…”

Her movements were different from her usual self, and it made the Prince chuckle.

Still, he didn’t want to have a negative expression on his face, so he smiled as brightly as possible. 

Psyche, slowly turning her head to look around, opened her mouth.

“Um…”

“Yeah, I’m listening.”

“I… How many days was I asleep?”

Psyche quickly realized that the prince in front of her was forcing a smile.

There were so many questions she wanted to ask, but for some reason, the prince hesitated to answer her simple question.

“How long… have I been asleep, Your Highness?”

“…Ten days. I was really worried about you not waking up. Do you have any idea how much I was distressed? I’m so relieved that you woke up.”

“Ten days…”

The Duke’s household must be in chaos.

Anyway, it seemed that the Duke hadn’t found out where she was, judging from the fact that she was still here. That was unfortunate and fortunate at the same time.

Psyche mumbled after the prince’s words.

“I… Where is my child?”

Psyche, with hollow eyes, touched her now empty belly.

The prince’s complexion changed in a matter of moments upon hearing her question. He looked at Psyche as if she were the most pitiful person, his eyes fixed on her like that.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Psyche…”

And the words from the prince that followed made Psyche feel like her whole world was collapsing.

❖ ❖ ❖

“Baby… My baby.”

The tears she had held back all this time burst out all at once.

It was something she couldn’t accept. She rushed out of the bedroom, barefoot, and yelled for hours, refusing to believe that her child was dead until she saw it with her own eyes.

She repeated the process of wailing and fainting several times.

Unable to bear her cries any longer, the prince said, “The mere fact that you are alive is a miracle. Do not be too sad; your child has saved your life by leaving.”

He tried to console her with the words, “Your child has gone, saving your life,” but none of those words provided any comfort.

To her, none of these words provided any comfort. She couldn’t find comfort in such words.

All the emotions she had accumulated so far exploded at once.

Only then did she realize her true feelings, buried deep within her.

At her core, Clint was her family after her parents passed away.

After giving birth to a child, she thought she might finally have a real family…

She wanted to believe in family.

Psyche’s heart ached with the wretchedness of not being able to believe in her family.

The truth was, when she found out that the Duke wanted to kill her.

The truth was, at that moment, she wanted to cry.

It felt like she was falling into a pit of despair.

That was… an emotion she could only embrace because she trusted someone.

In reality, she…

With all her heart, she wanted to trust him.

This was her sincere and honest feeling.

That’s why she clung to the child even more, thinking of it as her only hope.

The child she met in her dreams was not just a simple existence that could be expressed with words like hope.

The adorable creature…

It was the present, yet it felt like the future.

An image of a peaceful family that she hadn’t even dreamed of.

“Baby… Ugh…”

She clung to the illusion of her child that she couldn’t even embrace now, wailing.

She said as she cried bitterly, “I have… nowhere to go now.”

She had lost her child, so the Duke wouldn’t want to see her anymore.

He…

She thought she might never see him again…

That’s why it made her even sadder, and she cried.

❖ ❖ ❖

Morning came.

Psyche had spent the night crying and hadn’t slept, and her face was very swollen.

It seemed like she still couldn’t accept reality.

The prince had tried to console her all night, but it wasn’t easy to comfort her.

He was haunted by a strange sense of guilt and stayed by her side all night.

Then, his aide entered the bedroom to announce the beginning of the prince’s official duties. Awkwardly, he looked back and forth between Psyche and the prince, hesitating to speak. 

“Speak.”

His gaze fixed on Psyche, and the prince gave a short command.

“That… It’s Duke Valentine requesting an audience again… It’s impossible to delay any longer.”

Upon hearing these words, Psyche unconsciously furrowed her brow.

“Okay.”

The prince nodded. Psyche then spoke.

“I guess the Duke knows something. I’m… leaving here.”

As soon as she finished speaking, the palace maids entered the bedroom with a silver tray, causing the prince to be unable to respond to Psyche’s words.

The scent of jasmine leaves wafted in, and Psyche involuntarily put on a polite expression.

“Oh. Sorry. I’ll clean this up. Just give me a moment.”

The prince, as if he knew something, waved his hand quickly, telling her to bring the jasmine tea back.

Upon his response, Psyche’s eyes, which had been swollen from crying, widened. She then slowly opened her mouth and asked.

“Jasmine… leaves aren’t good for pregnant women… Did you know that?”

“Huh?”

The prince suddenly had a terribly surprised expression and clapped his hands.

“Was that so? I almost died just by drinking that. That’s why.”

“Jasmine leaves. Who gave them to you?”

To her question, the prince hesitated a little.

“Come on. Who gave you the jasmine leaves?”

The prince sighed and replied slowly, “Rachel Haleston brought them, saying they were expensive.”

“…”

Well, that’s strange. Psyche forced a wry smile.

Then she hardened her expression and said, “Before I leave… I need to meet Rachel.”

At her words, the prince’s eyes widened even more.

“This way. Please call her. Rachel Haleston.”

Faced with Psyche’s resolute attitude, the prince had no choice but to respond.