So the Duchess Disappeared

46. Save the Child

The morning of that day felt somewhat chilly, even within the castle’s walls.

Considering it was winter and Alister Castle was located in the mountains, the cold was expected. Although the inhabited areas had fireplaces, the aged castle was quite chilly in the early morning and dawn.

However, Psyche woke up around dawn feeling excessively warm. It was as if there was a fire burning inside her.

“Um…”

At first, she thought that the maid had placed a warm water bottle in the bed. But as time passed and the heat did not subside, Psyche, half-opening her eyes, examined what was strange.

“Shilard!”

She discovered Shilard, her son, breathing heavily, like a burning coal. Startled, she frantically examined every inch of his body.

Shilard’s condition, who was not in a good state, looked very serious.

Suddenly, torches flared up in the middle of the night.

Psyche, who noticed it before Claude entered the room, urgently shouted.

“Claude, what should we do? Sh-Shilard feels like he’s burning!”

“…!”

Hurrying, Claude appeared without properly dressing. He quickly took Shilard into his arms as Psyche handed him over.

He touched Shilard’s forehead and the back of his neck, then looked extremely surprised.

Shilard’s body was burning hot, and his breathing was not good at all.

Psyche’s face turned pale at his condition.

“Doct—call a doctor. Claude.”

She urgently spoke, tugging at Claude’s clothes. Her face seemed like she would burst into tears at any moment.

“At this hour…!”

Claude, with a perplexed face, was about to speak when Psyche interrupted him.

“Is the time an issue now? Bring anyone. I’ll give more money, just say that!”

She burst into anger.

Shilard, who was burning with fever, remained limp, unable to regain consciousness.

His whole body was covered in cold sweat, and his face turned pale blue, resembling someone on the verge of death.

Psyche became frightened at the sight.

It felt like losing a child all over again. The nightmare from the past resurfaced, tightening her breath.

Of course, Shilard was not her biological child, but there was a considerable emotional conflict in accepting him.

Although he wasn’t her own child, there was affection for him as if he were. And she was afraid that getting attached might make things difficult.

But now, seeing Shilard in this painful state, Psyche felt as if she had lost all the reason she had struggled to maintain.

“Claude!”

Psyche grabbed him again.

“I’ll go down to the village first.”

Claude wiped Shilard’s sweat and then embraced Psyche again.

“I’ll call anyone… anyone.”

Psyche was now in tears.

“Yes, don’t worry too much, Sera.”

Claude comforted Psyche, whose reason seemed to have disappeared.

Thinking that it wouldn’t be good to leave her alone with Shilard in this state, Claude called the maid, Sera, who was standing nearby, to prepare to go out.

“Take good care of him here. Keep reassuring her that everything will be fine.”

Sera nodded resolutely at those words.

Claude, having spent several years with Psyche, had vaguely sensed that she had some trauma related to children. Although he never explicitly dug into her past, he noticed it in her efforts to keep Shilard at a distance, her nervous reactions around young children, and other peculiar expressions.

Seeing Psyche react with panic at Shilard’s sudden illness only strengthened his conviction.

“What on earth is all this commotion…!”

Claude, who was awakened by the strangely noisy dawn, entered the scene.

“Clint!”

Psyche, with a face smeared with tears, urgently called Clint.

Clint, initially surprised by Claude’s disheveled appearance, was taken aback when he saw Psyche in her negligee, calling him desperately. It felt like a sudden whiteout in his mind.

Without realizing it, he quickly rushed towards her.

“What, what’s happening?”

Psyche, trembling, tightly grasped the hem of Clint’s clothes.

Claude, relieved that Psyche wouldn’t be left alone in this situation, left the room.

“I’ll call the doctor.”

Then, he politely nodded towards Clint.

However, Clint had no room to spare for Claude, busy with Psyche hanging onto him.

“Madam, it’s probably just a cold. So…”

“What if he dies again? What should I do if he dies again?!”

“He won’t die…”

“What if he dies like our child!!”

Psyche cried out, her voice breaking.

“…”

For a moment, Clint was speechless.

He didn’t know what to say.

“At that time… Even now, it’s all my fault.”

Psyche spoke, her trembling voice recounting the story. Her hands gripping Clint’s clothes were also shaking.

Tears flowed incessantly down her face, and her eyes had lost focus.

The lingering guilt that had been with her since the day she lost her child overwhelmed her.

“Back then, I should have protected the child… I should have protected him. Huh…”

Psyche, overcome with emotions, continued to sob.

“Madam.”

Clint called her in an attempt to comfort her, but it was in vain.

“If I kill a child again… Clint… Please… talk to me.”

Emotions and guilt that had been bottled up for years poured out like a flood.

Clint was at a loss for what to say.

“Clint… Clint… I killed the child. All my fault. In fact, I know more than anyone that it’s my fault. If I hadn’t made that choice. If I had chosen to protect the child, would it have been better? I’ve thought about that hundreds, thousands of times more.”

Unspoken words that she had been unable to say and had kept to herself for years spilled out of her mouth incoherently.

“Huh… The conclusion is that it’s all my fault. But I can’t kill myself. So I’ve just pretended to live as if nothing happened… Every night, the sound of the child’s crying never leaves my ears!”

Psyche, unable to finish her words, began to sob while holding Shilard.

“My baby… My baby! Baby…”

The crying she should have done in the past was now, years later, pouring out from the depths of her being.

“Milady…!”

Sera, too shocked to react, approached Psyche.

Clint restrained Sera.

“I’ll take care of it myself; you can leave.”

“Ah…”

Sera, unable to go against the duke’s words, quickly bowed and left the room.

“Madam, madam, look at me.”

Clint gently lifted Psyche, who was crying with Shilard in her arms, and laid her head on the bed.

Then, tear-soaked, her face revealed itself. She still had a pitiful expression as if she were wandering in the past.

“Clint… I did… I did everything wrong. I’m sorry for not protecting the child.”

Psyche didn’t fully realize what she was saying at the moment.

She was now expressing apologies to Clint, serving as a substitute for the apology she never got to convey to the child who was no longer here.

Already dead and absent in this place.

For Clint, there was nothing else he could do.

He gently took Shilard from her arms, laid him on the bed, and wiped away the tears from Psyche’s eyes and cheeks.

“My baby… My baby…”

She still whispered with sadness, her eyes welling with tears.

“My baby…”

Seeing her like this, Clint felt an unusual sensation.

It was as if someone was tightening and squeezing his heart.

This feeling was entirely new to him.

“My baby… can’t die.”

Psyche, now somewhat lost in her thoughts, murmured while staring into space.

Perhaps thinking it wouldn’t work, Clint brought her closer to his chest.

It seemed like she might collapse at any moment.

Even in his embrace, she couldn’t stop crying.

“Huh… baby, my… baby.”

“Madam, it is undoubtedly a tragic event that the child has passed away, but it’s not your fault….”

Suddenly, Psyche in Clint’s arms fell silent.

Clint thought she had stopped crying, so he lifted her from his chest to check her face, only to be extremely surprised.

“Madam, madam!”

Psyche, who seemed to have poured out too many emotions, had fainted.

T/N The child is a boy If I ever used She pronouns Im sorry It was a mistake because of the name it became confuding