So the Duchess Disappeared

52. To the Point of Wanting to Die

At that moment, Clint was on his way back after finishing his business outside.

Normally, he would have to stay away from the castle for another two days, but he kept wishing to return sooner, even if just for a day, concerned about Psyche.

By pulling all-nighters and pushing forward what would have taken a few more days, he managed to return earlier than expected.

“Are you not going to tell the lady?”

Alejandro, riding alongside him, asked discreetly.

“About what?”

“About Lady Rachel.”

“Rachel?”

At that name, both men frowned simultaneously.

Clint’s expression also seemed to convey his reluctance.

“Well, even though it’s for the lady’s sake, isn’t it?”

He was returning after negotiating with the Emperor to ensure Rachel wouldn’t return.

Clint had made veiled threats in front of the Emperor, implying that he would inform Psyche of Rachel’s return and even threatened to kill her if Rachel caught his eye.

Of course, it was all nicely wrapped in words, but in the end, it amounted to the same thing.

“Why is the Emperor so fixated on Rachel?”

“I wonder… He has often summoned Lady Rachel to the palace, citing childhood friendship.”

“Yeah… Because of that, she acted like she was some kind of princess.”

Clint snorted in disgust.

The Emperor had said some unbelievable things, like not believing that Psyche had returned, but eventually, Clint managed to silence him by agreeing to attend the upcoming banquet together.

“…Is the lady going to attend the banquet?”

Alejandro asked cautiously.

“She has to. Didn’t they say the banquet is in three days?”

“Yes. We need to prepare as soon as we return and set off again.”

“Tch, it’s become an unnecessary forced march.”

Clint muttered, clearly displeased.

“What about the child?”

“The child?”

Alejandro asked cautiously again.

“Yes, the Madam’s… child.”

“Oh.”

Clint, who had been solely focused on Psyche’s return, hadn’t even thought about the child, and his expression changed suddenly.

“….”

Perhaps it was because of losing his own child.

Thinking like that, it wasn’t strange that Psyche was fixated on Shaled.

Losing their first child could have been a very shocking experience for her.

Therefore, Clint thought he should turn a blind eye to all her actions.

But taking the child to the banquet was a different matter.

Psyche knew everyone was aware of her loss of the child, but if they were to find out that she had given birth during those few years of absence… The social circles would be in a frenzy. Mixing truth and lies would inevitably create strange rumors, and she detested such disturbances.

Already, during Psyche’s absence, Clint had to deal with malicious rumors for several years.

Gossip spreads faster than anything else.

Though no one showed it outwardly because they were afraid of Clint, everyone added their own touches to the rumors about Psyche.

Rumors like her being ill and secluded, having an affair with another man, or even being dead had inflated her absence since she didn’t show herself in social circles, causing even more speculation.

But if she were to reappear after a long absence with a child…

“Just thinking about it is dreadful.”

“Yes?”

Alejandro, who was waiting for an answer, was surprised, his eyes widening.

As Alejandro had noticed the strained relationship between the Duke and Duchess, he cautiously asked.

“No, never mind. And you, never mention Rachel to the Madam.”

“….”

It was an answer to the initial question.

He wanted to ask why, but whenever Rachel’s name came up, Clint became sensitive.

“For now, I’m just letting the Emperor do as he pleases, but there may come a day when I have to kill her without anyone knowing.”

“Are you really planning to kill her?”

“I have to. But I hope the Madam never finds out that I tried to kill Rachel…”

“Do you have to do that? The Duchess has made mistakes too, and she might forgive.”

“Absolutely not.”

Clint chewed on his inner lip.

Psyche, who was beyond his control.

She hated murder more than anyone else…

Above all…

‘Telling the whole truth isn’t always a good thing.’

He recalled unpleasant memories from his childhood.

Clint was quite an honest child when he was young.

But every time he was honest, his father scolded him.

‘A man can’t be so weak.’

What was the reason he first heard such words?

He recalled a vivid remnant from the distant past, from when he was about six years old.

When he first held a real sword.

As the heir to the dukedom, Clint felt a sense of exhaustion just by holding a real sword, something only adults were allowed to handle.

But because he had received exceptional training and rigorous training from a young age, he was able to hold the sword for a longer period of time.

However, one day, exhausted to the point of letting go of the real sword, he accidentally broke a precious pottery piece cherished by the Duke.

Enraged, the Duke raged for a long time.

After that, he summarily dismissed all the servants who were around at the time.

Thinking it was unjust, Clint finally went to his father, confessing that he had broken the pottery and asking him not to dismiss the employees.

To this, his father, the Duke of the previous generation, strangely smiled and opened his mouth.

‘I know you broke the pottery. There’s no need for you to pretend to be so honest and confess everything.’

‘But…’

‘The employees you left alone to break the pottery are also undoubtedly at fault.’

‘…’

‘And don’t go around talking about your mistakes. Telling the truth doesn’t always make it right.’

Those words were difficult for Clint.

He thought honesty was better.

‘Tsk, you’re still too young. That’s why you can’t be my successor.’

Since then, The Old Duke consistently told him that ‘the truth doesn’t solve everything.’

Sometimes lies are necessary, and you must trample on others that way.

The Old Duke had never liked Clint.

But until then, Clint believed that the truth would solve everything.

And someday…

He lost faith in the truth after his mother told him the truth about a certain incident until she left his side.

After losing his mother, he decided never to rely on the truth again.

His father wasn’t a particularly humane person, and he didn’t have many good qualities to emulate.

But Clint thought there was one thing he said that wasn’t wrong.

‘Truth sometimes can’t save us.’

So he continued to keep silent about everything to Psyche.

He closed his eyes.

“Sometimes the truth… isn’t helpful either.”

Clint, who spoke once more to the puzzled Alejandro, looked up at the approaching duke.

Before they knew it, they were almost at the duke’s place.

Looking at the gray sky, Alejandro said,

“It seems like it’s going to snow.”

“That’s right…”

Talking about the cold weather, Clint, who spoke again, looked up and saw a woman’s shadow almost at the duke’s place.

If Alejandro also saw that, he made a gesture as if it was dangerous, as if she might fall at any moment.

Clint also thought he was seeing something wrong.

“My lord, isn’t that your wife over there at the end?”

Alejandro seemed to have seen that figure as well.

Because it looked so dangerous, as if she could fall at any moment.

Clint thought he might be seeing something wrong.

“My lord, at this rate, the Madam will fall!”

Alejandro shouted urgently.

It felt like his blood ran cold in an instant.

Chills spread from his neck.

Then he recalled Psyche’s appearance when she first came here.

‘Well, then. If I’m going to do it, I’ll do it properly.’

She replied to the Duchess’s obligation.

Surely, the meaning of those words…

Clint accepted that Psyche was out on the balcony to die right now.

It seemed strangely dignified.

To die like this!

Clint clenched the reins tightly.

“My lord?”

As soon as he thought so, Clint found himself speaking involuntarily.

“I can’t just let her die.”

He reminded himself as if convincing himself.

And at the same time, Psyche began to fall backward from the balcony.

Clint was so consumed by the thought of rushing to her that he didn’t know what state of mind he was in.

He didn’t know how hard he was shouting, how tightly he was gripping the reins, even as he dug into the leather gloves on his hands.

“Psyche!”

Just before she hit the ground, Clint stood in front of her and shouted with all his might.

How often had he ridden in a carriage or on horseback, being a duke?

He personally caught Psyche with his bare hands.

Her body was unbelievably cold, like ice.

With an angry expression, Clint took her to his bedroom.