Chapter 18: Inferiority Complex
In the Chuan villa, Bei Sangyun was reading Fei Chuan's books in the playroom. While the boys were currently playing the new game console that belonged to Fei Chuan.
On the other side of the corner, Fei Chuan was also reading a thick book.
The boys were rowdy and noisy. Usually, Bei Sangyun was used to their noisiness and was able to concentrate on reading despite the loud noise.
However, today, Bei Sangyun could not concentrate. There was a frown on her small face.
She did not know why, but she felt a burst of uneasiness in her heart. There was an urgency that made her feel that if she did not study more and keep up, she would lose.
It was summer and vacation time. This should be one of the best times to play and run wild in the village, but Bei Sangyun kept studying instead.
Bei Sangyun glanced at Fei Chuan who was reading silently at the corner. Her eyes looked at the cover of the book he was reading. Bei Sangyun's mind buzzed just by looking at it.
It had numbers she did not recognize and words she was not familiar with!
It seemed that Fei Chuan had become smarter again. He was leaving her in the dust.
Bei Sangyun had felt this urgency when Fei Chuan become the president of their class. Since the start of the class in grade two, the teacher appointed a president which everyone voted to.
Only one person voted for Bei Sangyun while the rest of the class voted for Fei Chuan. Bei Sangyun could accept it. After all, Fei Chuan was really mature and good at assigning tasks.
In every exam, both of them scored perfectly. However, at the end of every semester, Fei Chuan would top first in the class while she was second.
Bei Sangyun could still accept this. Fei Chuan was quicker in calculations and he did not pause when he answered.
Everyone in their class admired and praised Fei Chuan. He had become the unrivaled person that everyone looked up to. Bei Sangyun agreed with them. Despite, Fei Chuan's cold attitude, he was really smart.
But...
Even though she accepted all of it, Bei Sangyun felt smaller and smaller. She did not like this feeling of being left behind.
She had gotten rid of the intimidation that Fei Chuan put on her when they first met, however, the distance between them was getting bigger and bigger as time passed. Bei Sangyun felt that if she did not keep up, she would feel bad about herself.
Bei Sangyun who was always lively and confident was now learning the taste of defeat and helplessness.
She did not even know why she had to keep studying to just keep up with Fei Chuan. She just wanted to be a smart person who could raise her head when she spoke with Fei Chuan.
Because of this feeling of being left behind, Bei Sangyun urged herself to study more. And the only way to be smarter was to keep reading the books that Fei Chuan had read.
"Young Master, aren't you getting bored of reading all day? You should join us in this game." The boys invited Fei Chuan again.
But Fei Chan slightly glanced at the focused Bei Sangyun before looking at his book again, "It's not boring."
The boys could not force the young master to play with them. So they turned their attention to the weaker person they could taunt.
"Bei Sangyun, what are you reading this time? Can you even understand it?"
Bei Sangyun who had already been feeling moody these past few days answered unconsciously, "It's not of your business."
These familiar words...this familiar arrogant attitude...
Isn't this the way young master usually talked?
The boy who got an attitude from Bei Sangyun was annoyed. He could endure it if it was the young master who showed such attitude to him. But who was Bei Sangyun? She was just a poor kid in the village who could not even afford to buy slippers.
He really wondered why she was here when she does nothing. They all sucked up and entertain the young master, but Bei Sangyun did nothing. Yet, she got invited here every week!
"You have been mimicking the young master these days. Do you think by copying him you will become smarter? You can not be on the same level as the young master. You are poor and dumb compared to him."
The atmosphere suddenly changed after the boy spoke.
The boy's words directly hit Bei Sangyun's sore spot.
She wanted to argue back however she could not find words to refute. Because what the boy said was true. But it put Bei Sangyun in the worst mood.
Fei Chuan raised his head and frowned.
The boy was not yet done. "You eat and read the young master's books. Aren't you ashamed of using his things? It's okay if you are his friend but you clearly aren't his friend. You are like a parasite who does nothing but suck other people's blood. I don't really understand why you keep coming here."
Fei Chuan's face turned cold.
Cheng Li noticed the expression of the young master and tried to save his friend's relationship with the young master by soothing the atmosphere.
"Now, now, everyone here is friends and acquaintances. Let's just play, eh?"
Bei Sangyun suddenly stood up. She was in no mood to continue reading.
As the boy said, she was eating and using Fie Chuan's books. Like a parasite, she does nothing while expanding her knowledge using Fei Chuan's things. She was even worst than a parasite.
She wanted to get smarter so that she won't be intimidated by Fei Chuan. She did not want to be any less than him.
She arrived in the yard and was about to leave the gates when she heard a call behind her.
"Bei Sangyun..."
Bei Sangyun stopped in her tracks and looked back. She saw Fei Chuan run towards her.
Fei Chuan was breathing heavily after running a few meters. His pale face was full of sweat.
Bei Sangyun suddenly felt guilty and ashamed. Would he also think she was like a parasite? Would he tell her to stop coming now?
Bei Sangyun fidgeted. When it comes to Fei Chuan, her confidence always disappeared.
Fei Chuan recovered his breathing. He opened his mouth to say something however no words came out.
In the end, he reached out his palm. "You forgot to return my book."
"...Ah?"
Fei Chuan looked at the book that Bei Sangyun was holding.
Bei Sangyun only then realized that she had brought the book with her!
Her face turned red from embarrassment and shame. She hurriedly passed the book to Fei Chuan.
"I am not planning to steal it!"
Bei Sangyun was afraid to see Fei Chuan's gaze. She was afraid there was accusation and disgust in his eyes. So she ran away after passing the book.
And ever since that day, Bei Sangyun never visited the Chuan villa again.
.....