Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Helping You Release Your Anger
It was September.
The scorching temperatures had not yet completely dropped.
In a gloomy alley within the Antique Market of Wuzhou, the surrounding space suddenly twisted alarmingly.
The next second.
A figure inexplicably appeared out of thin air, fortunately, there was no one in the alley, otherwise, they would certainly have been scared half to death.
"After a full thousand years, I, Shen Feng, have returned."
A deep voice emanated from the throat of the figure.
The man appeared to be about twenty years old, around one meter eighty in height, with sharp, chiseled features and eyes that held an inscrutable depth.
Only, the ragged long robe he wore was awkwardly unsuited for him, with his long hair cascading down, a likeness to a beggar.
After calculating with his fingers, Shen Feng finally let out a sigh of relief.
Three years ago.
He was just an ordinary student at the Medical University, living in a mountainous area in extreme poverty. To lessen his parents' burden, he often went to the mountains to gather herbs, selling them to subsidize his family.
Once, in an extremely bad mood, he stayed in the mountains despite the darkness. He remembered clearly that suddenly, a fierce wind blew up in the sky, followed by being sucked into a black vortex. When he awoke, he found everything had changed; he had traveled to the Immortal Realm.
After arriving in the ruthless Immortal Realm, Shen Feng faced life and death-situations time and again.
He finally resolved to become a strong cultivator, and by a stroke of fate, he received various powerful inheritances.
In just a mere thousand years, he became the youngest Immortal Emperor in the Immortal Realm, controlling a world of his own.
Once he reached the rank of Immortal Emperor in his cultivation, he found his thoughts filled with his parents on Earth, wanting to return to his hometown for a visit.
Utilizing heavenly methods, he forcibly traversed the void and finally returned to his native Earth.
Just now, after calculating, a thousand years had passed in the Immortal Realm, but merely three years had passed on Earth. Did this mean his parents were still alive?
Shen Feng felt the condition inside his body, filled with bitterness. Forcibly traversing void after void, coupled with the restrictive forces of Earth, all his cultivation had dissipated, even his body, once that of an Immortal Emperor, was in complete disarray, leaving behind only strands of Spiritual Energy that could vanish at any time.
"I'm afraid the powerful beings I control in that world don't yet know I've left."
After muttering to himself in a low voice, Shen Feng walked towards the exit of the alley.
Walking through Antique City, the streets were lined with various stalls on both sides, with odd gazes sweeping over him from time to time.
Shen Feng's steps halted beneath his feet, and he frowned slightly. On the right, there was a fortune-telling stall with a rectangular banner hanging beside it that brazenly read "Immortal Master Fortune Telling."
As an Immortal Emperor, Shen Feng was particularly sensitive to the word "Immortal."
This fortune-telling stall had gathered quite a crowd around it, possessing some renown within Antique City.
The fortune-teller was a skinny middle-aged man with a small mustache on his lips and a black mole on the right side of his chin; the people in Antique City called him Immortal Master Wu.
After all, this was not the Immortal Realm. The sight of such an insignificant creature daring to call itself an Immortal, although displeasing to him, he did not wish to waste his time.
Yet Immortal Master Wu caught sight of Shen Feng, who was about to walk past, and with a mumbling to the crowd, said, "Look at this young man here, his forehead is darkened, sure to face a calamity soon."
"And between his brows, there is a sign of financial loss, indicating he can only ever be a beggar in his life."
Immortal Master Wu misjudged Shen Feng as a beggar.
A cold smirk crossed the corners of Shen Feng's mouth.
Darkened forehead? He had traversed void after void, his entire body was dust-stained.
And his attire clearly didn't resemble someone wealthy; even a fool could see that.
"Shen Feng?"
A crisp, surprised voice suddenly reached Shen Feng's ears.
A woman with a delicate face, very gentle features, well-proportioned figure, possessing a typical Jiangnan beauty's charm, came into his view, "Su Jingyu?"
Shen Feng and Su Jingyu were classmates during high school.
Back then, Su Jingyu was recognized as the school beauty, and the ordinary Shen Feng didn't have much interaction with her.
Having not seen each other for so many years, Shen Feng was surprised that this once school beauty could recognize him at a glance.
Su Jingyu was sitting right in front of the fortune-telling stall, it seemed that Immortal Master Wu was telling her fortune.
A fresh smile appeared on her face, and Shen Feng also nodded slightly at her, so they had exchanged greetings.
After all, during their high school days, they were not familiar with each other, and the number of words they had spoken to each other over three years could be counted on one hand.
Shen Feng sat down casually on the chair next to Su Jingyu; since Immortal Master Wu had taken the initiative to provoke him, how could he not give something in return?
When he was in the Immortal Realm, Shen Feng was always someone who couldn't stand to be taken advantage of. He watched Immortal Master Wu for a long time, pretending to nod at times and shake his head at others.
Su Jingyu curiously watched her former classmate. She knew Shen Feng came from a poor family, but surely he didn't have to resort to begging for a living.
Immortal Master Wu stroked his small mustache, really thinking he was Lu Xiaofeng with the four eyebrows playing a chivalrous role?
He said impatiently, "Just stick to your begging, I don't have any money to give you. The few words I just said were my gift to you, and I'm not asking for a penny."
Shen Feng spoke calmly, "Kindness not returned is not the way of propriety, so let me also give you a few words."
"Have you been suffering from insomnia lately? Stomach pain but can't defecate? A severe drop in that area of performance? Appetite not as good as before? And there's a serious case of bad breath?"
Immortal Master Wu was startled; he had indeed experienced these symptoms recently, and seeing a doctor hadn't helped at all. Yet this beggar had accurately pinpointed each one.
Shen Feng had truly taken him aback, and he couldn't help but ask, "What should I do then?"
Shen Feng smiled and said, "It's simple, you have stagnant Qi in your body. Stand up, and I can cure you right now."
Concentrating part of the remaining spiritual energy in his voice, Shen Feng made Immortal Master Wu somewhat dazed and involuntarily compliant with Shen Feng's command.
Shen Feng pointed a finger at Immortal Master Wu's belly, and a wisp of spiritual energy penetrated his stomach.
Having come back to his senses, Immortal Master Wu's complexion tightened; he felt incredibly off. He was an Immortal Master, after all! How could he be so rattled by a beggar? Who would come to him for fortune-telling after this?
"You're full of it, I don't have any of those symptoms. Do you think you're some kind of miracle doctor? Just get lost," barked Immortal Master Wu in a fit of rage.
Su Jingyu, sitting on the side, grew increasingly curious. Her beautiful eyes kept sizing up Shen Feng. Judging by Immortal Master Wu's reaction just before, she could tell that Shen Feng had correctly listed his ailments.
Immortal Master Wu, in his anger, felt something was wrong—he suddenly felt the urge to fart and couldn't hold it in.
Thankfully, the sound of the fart was very faint, but the stench was horrendous.
The people surrounding the stall immediately scrunched their noses, and some even covered them.
Immortal Master Wu glanced earnestly at a young man with big yellow teeth beside him and said, "It seems your path of cultivation is still long. As immortals, how can we excrete such filth? Pay attention next time, or I'll have to expel you from our sect."
Big Yellow Teeth was nominally Immortal Master Wu's disciple but actually handled disciplining any troublemakers.
Seeing the disdainful looks all around him, Big Yellow Teeth felt like crying, and he shouted in his heart, "I didn't fart! How can a fart be this smelly? How am I supposed to stay in Antique City after this?"
As everyone's gaze shifted towards Big Yellow Teeth,
Immortal Master Wu's expression suddenly changed; he felt the urge to fart again. This time he was alert, desperately trying to hold it in until his face turned redder and redder.
The reputation of Immortal Master Wu couldn't be ruined by a fart!
The urge to fart grew stronger the more he held it in. His voice tightened as he said, "That will be all for today. I need to properly discipline my disciple."
But just as he finished speaking,
Immortal Master Wu's face turned a drastic shade; he couldn't hold it in any longer and had reached the limit of his endurance.
"Pfft—"
"Bang!"
"Rip—"
An incredibly long fart echoed through the air.
Then, a loud noise followed from behind Immortal Master Wu; the back of his pants burst open, and he suddenly felt a chill on his buttocks.
A foul stench spread through the air.
A fart that ripped through his pants? Could it be any more exaggerated?
All eyes were now focused on a very relieved-looking Immortal Master Wu. Shen Feng laughed and said, "The Immortal Master indeed has a body of immortality; such an extraordinary fart. I think you might be able to kill with a fart, Immortal Master. It's actually life-threatening to stand behind you."