Summus Proelium

Izzy and I went home after that. It had been far too long of a day for all of us, and until we actually got news about what was going on with the Scions, there wasn't much else we could do anyway. Part of me wanted to go help Wren work on the machine so we could deal with the Pittman thing, but she said she didn't need us right then. There was a lot of technical work she had to do that we couldn't help with at the moment.

So, we took the ride back home and tried to distract ourselves. I played some Horse with her on our family basketball court, just because neither of us wanted to sit around doing nothing. Our excess energy also led to doing some swimming in the pool before relaxing in the nearby hot tub. We were listening to the radio just in case the news said anything, and both of us had our phones nearby. But they remained stubbornly silent. If the authorities were planning some way to get into that building, they weren't contacting either of us about it. And I had no idea if that was a good or bad thing. Not knowing what was going on made me nervous, to say the least. But on the other hand, maybe that meant they actually had a handle on things?

Or maybe it meant they had absolutely no idea what to do so there was nothing to tell us. Yeah, that one sounded more likely to me too.

Finally, while we were in the kitchen making some food (it was after midnight by then, so most of the staff were off duty) both of our phones buzzed. We practically broke our necks lunging for where we had left them on the nearby counter, and each found the same message. It was from Amber, who wanted to know if we could talk. She said she would meet us on the roof of some hotel downtown.

Obviously, we both agreed and promised to be there as soon as possible. Then we pretended to go to bed for the benefit of the few house staff and guards who might pay attention to that. After a few minutes spent agonizingly waiting, we carefully snuck out, made it over the wall, and went through the woods to the road before calling a car to pick us up. That took us closer to the right area, before we headed into an alley, changed into our costumes (brand new, in my case), and went the rest of the way to the meeting spot. Between my paint and Izzy's ability to make us weightless (even if I had to be temporarily soaked down for her to do so), it didn't take long at all.

Sure enough, Amber was there waiting for us. She was sitting on a low brick wall along the side of the roof, standing as we landed nearby. Instantly, Izzy went that way and embraced the other girl. As soon as I was sure she would be okay with it, I did the same. The three of us hugged there on the roof for a minute in silence before separating. Looking at Amber, I could tell she had been through a lot. She looked bruised and battered, but physically clean. It looked like she had taken a shower recently, even if she was wearing her dirty and bloodied costume.

Visibly swallowing, Amber managed a very weak smile at us. “Hey, it's good to see you guys, really. I'm sorry I wasn't answering your calls or anything. If it makes you feel better, I wasn't answering anybody's. I just needed some time alone. Well… sort of alone.”

Before I could say anything, Izzy asked, “Is Pack okay? Are her lizards…”

“They're fine, she's fine,” Amber confirmed with a slightly brighter smile. That expression fell immediately as she glanced away and sighed. “We couldn't stay around there, not with his… his body.”

“He wasn't making it up, was he?” I found myself asking that in a hesitant voice, not even sure why I was saying it. “He really was the one responsible for your dad. And then you were…” Dammit, stop talking, Cassidy! You don't need to fill the silence.

After a brief hesitation, Amber gave a quick, somewhat jerky nod. “It was him. He stole that car and took it on a joyride. I don't think he meant to hit my dad. He said it was an accident, and that part I believe.” Her voice sounded hollow, like she had cried for so long that there just wasn't that sort of emotion in her anymore. “But everything he did after that was intentional. I'm sure he killed more people besides my dad and that reporter lady. He probably let others get away when he could've stopped them. Who knows how much damage he did. I mean, the whole reason he wanted to join the Scions is because he thought Cup was hot. He was totally fucked up. He was… was…”

With that, she pivoted on one foot and walked away from us, standing right on the edge of the roof to stare out at the city beyond. Her fists were clenched. “He was an evil, psychotic bastard. I shouldn't feel guilty about letting him die. I shouldn't. He would've killed a lot more people if he had a chance. He could have turned himself in. He could've worked it off. He could've talked to any of us. We would have worked out a way to help him. If he wasn't such a piece of shit, we could've done something. Even if I didn’t forgive him, they could have transferred him. They would have transferred him. But he was. He was evil. He chose that. Maybe my dad was an accident, but none of the rest were. He knew what he was doing, and he liked it.”

She trailed off into silence, still standing with her back to us while her head slowly lowered to tuck her chin against her chest with a heavy sigh. “So why the fuck do I still keep crying whenever I think of his face when I teleported away without him? I left him to die. I knew what I was doing. I knew what it meant and that he wouldn't survive. I knew all that rubble was going to kill him, and I still left him. I didn't arrest him. I thought he'd get away. He still had his powers, he still had any weapons that might've been on him, and I was exhausted. I was so tired, so angry, so… so done. If I teleported him out, he could've escaped. Maybe we could've tracked him down later. Maybe we could've brought him in. Or maybe I could've beaten him right there before he got away. Maybe he'd be in prison right now. Hey, maybe they could’ve sent him to Breakwater.” She gave a darkly amused snort, which faded immediately.

“I let him die. I thought it was safer than risking him getting away. I really did think that. But I also wanted to. I wanted to let him die, after what he did to my dad, after what he threatened to do to you, to everyone. I wanted allowing him to die to be the right choice, so maybe I just talked myself into it. I made that choice in that single, tiny moment. And it's one I am going to have to live with forever. I let someone die. I could've saved him, could have teleported him out and tried another way, but I didn't. I made my choice. And as much as I keep crying whenever I think about it, as sad as I am and as guilty as I feel, the truth is I don't think I'd change my mind if I had to do it again. He was an evil bastard who killed people. He wanted to do worse, just because he thought Cup was hot. He had no real remorse, and didn't care about anyone but himself. He was a sociopath, and if I was in the exact same situation again where I could save his life or let him die, I'd still let him die. I made the choice in an instant, but I’ve had hours and hours now, and I’d do the same thing. No matter how guilty it makes me feel.”

She let that hang in the air for a moment, breathing in and out slowly and deliberately a couple times before turning to face us. Her eyes were bloodshot, with dark circles under them. “If that means you don't want anything to do with me anymore, I understand. I don't know how I would feel if I was in your position.”

Izzy and I exchanged glances once more before stepping that way. The two of us embraced her again, tugging the girl away from the edge of the roof so we could all sit down together right there. My head shook. “You're right, Amber, he was a bastard. He was an evil fuck who was fine with killing people just to get what he wanted. Maybe your dad really was an accident, but like you said, he had plenty of opportunities to come forward. He had powers, they would've worked out a deal with him and let him work it off. They could've handled it, but the only person he cared about was himself. Telling the truth would have been an inconvenience for him, so he didn’t, even after… even after meeting and spending time with the man’s daughter. You made a really hard choice, and you know you'll never forget about it. I don't know what I would've done if I was you. Mostly because I'm not you. I've never been in that position. My dad is alive. I know that thinking about the condition he's in right now, and what could happen makes me want to kill the man who put both him and my mom there. If I had Pitman in front of me and he was about to die if I didn't do anything, I don't know what I would do. I don't think anyone can know until they're in that position. But I don't hate you for it or anything. I'm just glad you're okay.”

Izzy gave a quick nod of agreement and leaned in to embrace Amber once more. “I'd rather you be alive than him. He was… he was…” She stopped, closing her eyes tightly while giving a visible shudder. “He pretended to be our friend. He was supposed to be on our side, supposed to be one of us… supposed to protect us…” Stopping, Izzy bowed her head while folding her arms tightly around her stomach as her face turned a bit pallid.

Of course, this would hit her even harder than others. Izzy had already had someone else who was supposed to be on her side and protect her turn out to be a traitor. Her own mother had tried to sell her to the bad guys. And now someone who was supposed to be practically a brother to her, a teammate and friend, had sold her out to be killed by an even worse group. Frankly, I was surprised she was holding it together as well as she was. If I was in her position, I probably would have fallen apart much worse by now.

The three of us hugged one another again, and reiterated that we were going to be there for each other, no matter what happened. I wasn't sure what the fallout of allowing someone like Whamline to die would be, especially in the current situation. After all, he had been trying to make everything so much worse. If he had succeeded at getting almost the entire Minority killed along with several members of La Casa, I had no idea what would've happened. Especially if all those new Scion candidates had actually become full members and helped Pencil pull off whatever his next actual scheme was.

It would have been really bad, that much was certain. So Amber had probably done the right thing overall, no matter how guilty it made her feel. And no matter how bad the thought that it might be okay sometimes to let someone die made me feel. The whole situation was impossibly complicated, and made worse by Amber’s own personal feelings about him. Hell, the fact that the death she most hated him for had been the only accidental one just made it all worse. It was a massive knot of confusion, guilt, anger, and other feelings that was probably impossible to actually sort out. At least, anytime soon. It was going to take a lot of time, and probably a lot of therapy as well, before Amber would have any hope of accepting exactly what had happened so she could move past it.

As though she had been thinking about the same thing, Izzy finally interrupted the silence that had fallen over the roof to ask, “What are you going to do now? The… they want to talk to you, to find out everything that happened in your words.” She winced a little while saying that, her small hand finding mine before squeezing it.

Amber, for her part, let out a long, heavy sigh and leaned back to stare at the dark sky for a few moments of silence. “I know they do, and I need to talk to them. I need to talk to my mom too. She's left about fifty voicemails. I think they told her the whole story. At least as much as they could. She deserves to hear it from me. I need to talk to a lot of people about everything.”

Another heavy sigh came. “I haven't really decided what I'm going to do after that. If they let me, I think I'd probably want to stay with the Minority. I mean, I still believe in helping people. I lost my dad because of an accident, and the person behind that accident went on to do other bad things while he was a part of the Minority. But that doesn't make the group bad, and it doesn't mean we haven't done a lot of good things.” She looked at Izzy. “Maybe we can do even more good without him there sabotaging things.” Her voice cracked a little when she said him, but she pushed through it. “Or maybe they'll just kick me out because they can't have a murderer on the team. It would look pretty bad.”

Izzy gave a stubborn shake of her head. “They won't kick you out, they need you. They need all of us, everyone they can get. And besides, they'd be really stupid if they tried to kick you out. He tried to kill all of us. He wanted to join a bunch of murderers and help them kill even more people. It wasn't just self-defense, you were defending everyone. Even if you did have a reason to be angry at him, that doesn't make what happened wrong, or even really your fault.”

The three of us sat there and talked a bit more over the next hour or so. But mostly we just sat in silence and took in the situation. At the very least, Amber had something approaching closure for the death of her father. Sure, she would have to deal with the aftermath of that for probably the rest of her life, but the person responsible for that death was gone forever and couldn't hurt anyone else.

I was pretty sure it was going to take a while before she fully accepted that. But still, it was something.

After that, our stomachs growled, and both Izzy and I remembered that we hadn't actually eaten anything earlier. Amber had contacted us while we were still looking through the refrigerators.

The other girl was just as hungry, so we changed clothes and went to find a place to eat. Which apparently reminded Amber that Whamline’s family owned a diner, and her face went ashen again as she murmured something about how they were going to react. Izzy and I both had to insist that she stay away from that place. Now wasn't the time for her to go apologize or try to explain anything. She had to leave them alone.

Instead, we found a place where we could sit in the back corner and talk quietly while eating a mountain of cheese fries and sandwiches and drinking milkshakes. While we were there, Izzy (after a glance to me to make sure it was okay) informed Amber about my recent decision about the type of person I was. Amber, in turn, smiled at me. “How does it feel?”

I offered a weak shrug. “Honestly, I'm not sure yet. In a way it's still brand new, because I just figured it out, or just accepted it, or whatever. But in another way, it's just who I've been my entire life. It's simultaneously brand new, and so old I don't even feel different. I know that's weird, but maybe that's just because I'm weird.”

“We're all weird," Amber informed me. “So you're in good company there. And no matter what pronouns you use, you'll always be Cassidy.”

Her words made me blush, shifting a little in my seat before I took another bite of delicious food and made a sound of approval deep in my throat. “I am so glad they dropped the whole curfew thing.”

“They had to,” Amber pointed out, “you can't keep something like that going for long. Too many people have places to go, and with the city locked down like this, there's a lot of extra work that has to be done. Besides, it also means that peoples’ nerves are on edge.”

“Well whatever the reason, I'm glad it means we can eat actual food like this no matter how late it is,” I replied.

We all made noises of agreement while eating more of our milkshakes. Then our phones chimed. Just like earlier when Amber had messaged Izzy and me, all three went off at once. We fumbled with them, before finding a message from Caishen. Each of us had received the same one, as, presumably, had everyone else she had contact information for.

They had a plan to deal with Pencil, a way to get him and all the other psychos out of that building. But they needed all the help they could get to pull it off and make sure he went down for good this time.

“Well, at least we managed to fuel up,” I noted.

“Because it sure sounds like we're about to need all the energy we can get.”