Surviving as a Trash Bard in a Game

The young mage pondered how to deal with the bard who had suddenly fallen asleep in front of him.

‘If I sell her eyes to a hunter… and her body to some brothel, I’m sure I could get a good price. No, maybe I should use her eyes for myself.’

–

For some reason, I felt like I shouldn’t do that.

I don’t know why.

It felt like my thoughts were being forcibly twisted.

–

He was, after all, a moral and good person.

He couldn’t be a hero who couldn’t stand injustice, but he was an ordinary citizen who didn’t cross the line as a human being.

He was a wandering mage who had never been affiliated with the Magic Tower or the Association… No, he wasn’t even a mage, he was a scroll-user.

“This is driving me crazy…”

First, let’s make an appraisal.

That’s what the young mage thought.

Draw a special pattern with ink and magic, and transfer it to animal skin or paper, and you have a scroll.

It was a blessing that the god of magic had given only to humans, allowing even half-wits like him to use magic.

“[ Appraisal ]”

The magic of appraisal.

The basics of merchants and mages, allowing them to determine the status, value, and approximate blessings and curses of a target.

Considering that most mages make their own magic tools and equipment and sign contracts with various vendors, it could be said to be an essential magic.

Befitting its reputation and simple formula structure, its accuracy was close to 100%.

In other words, the information he was looking at was correct… it had to be correct.

‘But this…’

Five blessings.

Seven curses.

An ordinary human could never withstand this.

He tried to grasp the types of blessings and curses, but they were of a high level… something fundamental. His lower-level scroll was unable to grasp them.

Could someone have intentionally made an ordinary human into this state? No, who would do that? Is it even possible to artificially recreate the blessings and curses of a god?

No, wait… what if?

‘The eyes are genuine.’

He had seen many people who boasted of possessing a divine body, but few of them were genuine. This was the first time he had seen the real thing with his own two eyes.

If it was a real god’s eye, not a fake, it would sell for an astronomical amount.

He had thought it was just a weak charm magic eye, but this was beyond imagination.

Perhaps it could even enchant a dragon.

‘The reason I wasn’t enchanted was because the subject didn’t try… or maybe she doesn’t know how to use it yet.’

There were certainly many strange points.

This bard acted in a way that did not suit her profession. She enjoyed the gaze and attention of others, and was completely different from other bards who looked like prostitutes in a brothel.

She didn’t even look like she could handle an instrument properly.

While other bards treated their instruments as if they were their own lives, this girl carried hers around carelessly.

It was heterogeneous.

Even if she had just come from the countryside, she knew nothing about the divine body? That’s absurd.

‘The conclusion is… a possibility of being an escaped test subject from the Magic Tower or a religious sect. In the worst case, it might be related to the mad king.’

A force with so many blessings and curses that this kind of experiment was possible, and at the same time, a force with a lot of money and manpower. There weren’t many possibilities left.

He was caught up in a troublesome affair.

‘…The mad king is dangerous.’

He had just thought she was a slightly odd woman and was going to give her a word of advice and end it, but he might end up losing his life.

If he had known this would happen, he would have kept his mouth shut.

“Mmm…”

Sleep talking…? Really?

No, it’s not that he doesn’t understand it. If a group had so many blessings and curses, it would be natural for them to prepare for the escape of a test subject.

Perhaps they put in a curse related to incapacitation or narcolepsy.

Even slave engravings had cases where they were engraved in preparation for when the slave was far from the owner.

‘…What a wretched human being.’

He wasn’t a kind enough person to feel pity or compassion. He was just a passing scroll-user with a vague sense of meddling.

‘Can I use this for my purpose?’

Frankly speaking, I might be able to steal her body and regain my original form.

Once she wakes up, I’ll just explain it roughly.

She probably doesn’t even know her own condition.

And that’s it.

‘I don’t want to get involved. And… I have things to do too.’

Yeah. I’ll just do the bare minimum I can, and then run away.

But there was something that bothered me. Something I was too curious to resist.

‘That wasn’t me.’ What does that mean?

Does that mean she has a split personality or something?

“Eek—!”

“…!”

The bard finally opened her eyes with a strange scream.

***

Suddenly, I lost consciousness and fell asleep.

It seems to be because of the ‘narcolepsy’ I added.

Ugh, if I had known this would happen, I wouldn’t have added the narcolepsy trait.

When it was a game, it was fine, but now that it’s become reality, it’s a dangerous trait.

I randomly fall asleep once a day, the duration is also random, and when I’m asleep, I can’t sense anyone touching me.

It’s like a death wish.

For now, it seems like I’m still maintaining a high intelligence level. No, it feels that way. I don’t know what it’s really like.

I look around. Let’s assess the situation.

And I found the face I saw just before I collapsed. It was the young mage boy.

“…Huh?”

“Don’t you remember?”

“I remember.”

“Then why…?”

“Well, it’s a little awkward to say this, but it’s not common for someone to take a stranger who suddenly collapsed to their room and let them sleep, is it?”

“Where do you find a human who just leaves a stranger who suddenly collapsed in front of them?”

“…It’s a woman, you know?”

“Yes. I can see that. What about it?”

Ah, there were no lawsuits in this world.

If this were modern society, you would be in a very dangerous situation. Mage brat!

It seems like one of the rooms in the Adventurer’s Guild. It’s close to the room I’m using, so that’s a relief. Anyway, I’ve already imposed enough, and I need to quickly resolve the herb request.

Let’s roughly pack my things and leave.

As I was packing my instrument and bag, I felt the gaze of the young mage staring at me.

“…Is there something you want to say?”

“I’ve never seen a human take what I say seriously in this form. The people at the guild value even half-baked mages… so I’ll let that slide.”

“Isn’t it more strange to be suspicious of someone who hasn’t done anything yet?”

“That’s true.”

“So… why are you looking at me like that?”

“I have something to say.”

Hmm, you couldn’t have possibly fallen for my beauty, could you? I do have my preferences, you know. I like slender, virginal women. Seriously!

Yes. I am currently making a narcissistic declaration in my mind.

Compared to the perfect sculpture I created, both men and women are insignificant.

I guess I have no choice but to reject your confession.

Mage brat.

It’s a crime anyway! You’re young!

“…You should change your eye color when you go out.”

“…Huh?”

“I explained it to you nicely before you collapsed. There are people who collect things that look like the bodies of gods.”

“So?”

“Your eyes are… hah… pink. One of the fragmented divine aspects of the goddess, the goddess of love, has pink eyes. It’s a symbol of a god, you know?”

Ah, that’s a setting I didn’t know about.

So, there are people who hunt down body parts that look similar to a goddess, and this character I perfectly sculpted happens to rival a goddess.

As expected of me.

To create such an amazing appearance that rivals a goddess. Is this my power?

Anyway, that’s not the important point.

Let’s think.

It’s better to change my eye color. Yeah, I understand that. But would such brutal people be wandering around in a rural village like this? It’s a crime, after all.

With the city guards and vigilantes around, wouldn’t the probability of being kidnapped in broad daylight be low?

…That’s a stupid thought.

Get a grip. You’re not this dumb.

“Is there a tool to change eye color?”

“…There’s a scroll.”

“I don’t have one. And I don’t know how to use it.”

“I can’t do it for free either. I already used another scroll today.”

“Is this enough?”

I took out 1 denarion from my pocket.

I didn’t know how much it was worth since the name of the silver coin had changed in the sequel, but it’s probably around 10 copper at most. This should be fine for a scroll.

More importantly, I thought this kid was just a nosy, kind boy… but he’s quite calculating, isn’t he?

Is he actually an adult, not a child? It wouldn’t be a problem even if it were a fantasy world setting, right? Like a dwarf or fairy half-blood!

“That’s too much. Do you have any copper?”

“Unfortunately, no.”

“…I’ll give you back 15 copper. [ Change ]”

The young mage burned a scroll with his magic and pointed his finger at my eyes.

It felt a little uncomfortable.

…But it seems the silver coin is worth more than I thought?

There were 10 denarions in the pouch that was supposed to be basic equipment, so I won’t have any problems with food for a while.

“How much is 1 denarion?”

“It’s 21 copper at the current rate, but it seems like it will drop soon. There’s a rumor that the silver content is decreasing.”

“Thank you.”

“You seem more comfortable now.”

“Ah… I felt like we became close quickly.”

The boy looked at me as if I was pathetic, then pointed to the door with his hand.

It was an order to leave quickly.

.

.

.

‘Alright. Let’s hurry up and gather some herbs.’

When I returned to my room and looked in the mirror, I saw my changed black eyes and felt a little depressed.

It felt like my perfect customization was slightly ruined.

‘…I didn’t ask about the duration. I’ll have to ask him next time we meet!’