Surviving at the Magic Academy

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I never really cared much about my previous life. It was just that—my past life, a whole different existence from who I am now. That’s how I thought about it.

The reason I didn’t pay much attention to my past life was simple. The memories held within were always so blurry.

Random, meaningless memories would suddenly pop up, like fragments that brushed past me, only to be forgotten just as quickly. There seemed to be no way to gather those memories into something cohesive. Because of that, I wasn’t heavily influenced by them.

Then I felt a single fragment of a soul brush against my fingertips. It gently breathed a little memory into my mind. This memory held a fragmented scene. In it, I stepped on a bomb and blew up.

The pain of my whole body shattering seemed to be felt beyond that memory. I slowly traced that memory, wondering if there was something more to it.

But aside from that fragmented memory, I felt nothing from that soul fragment. Just like that, the soul fragment that trickled a memory into me flowed away somewhere.

I shook my head quietly. That soul fragment was just a piece holding a single memory. Many other soul fragments that had brushed past me before were just like it.

All the soul fragments flowing through my soul lake, and the memories originating from them had only traces embedded in them.

I quietly looked down at the lake. Countless soul fragments flowed within it. There were so many that I couldn’t even fathom the amount.

And these fragmented souls only flowed through my existence. Thus, I was like a sort of colony formed from these tiny soul pieces.

The reason I couldn’t accurately perceive those memories before was probably because of this. The memories held by the soul fragments were fragmented, and thus I, as an entity formed from them, could only carry those memories in a vague way.

Still, while sifting through those memories, I came to know one clear fact. The vast majority of the landscapes carried within these soul fragments originated from war.

Most of them were beings that traversed the battlefield. Perhaps I, as an entity, might be a collection of phantoms born from such wars.

I recalled the countless soldiers I had encountered on the way here. And I could almost smell the iron scent they exuded. It was like a deep imprint embedded within them.

The reason they had blocked our path with those appearances was probably because the majority of the memories contained in my soul were rooted in battle. They too must have been among them.

Feeling the flowing soul fragments, I knew there must be tens of thousands. These soul fragments might have been the remnants of the soldiers we had torn through. They had died, and their souls had been absorbed into mine once more.

But they weren’t the entirety of it. I reached my hand deep below. Suddenly, I touched a solid piece that felt hard. It was simply lying on the bottom, not flowing with the current.

Such pieces were scattered on the lakebed. More of them lay sleeping beneath than flowed with the current. They too could be considered a part of my soul. They were pieces that had not fully awakened yet.

I placed my hand lightly over my chest. Focusing my will beyond it, I turned to the tree. This tree was a magical crystal growing around my soul. Therefore, it also contained the unique properties my soul revealed.

At first, it manifested in a basic form of magical breathing. It became my unique magic, allowing my dolls to come to life more vividly.

Such simple breathing was perhaps the single ray of wind those soul fragments desired. It seemed they wanted to spit out their lives in magical form.

In that regard, the form of my unique magic evolving into a false soul was a very natural flow. That magic must have been the shape those fragments wished for.

The term “false soul” was quite clear in meaning. It could not be called a complete soul. Yet, it still held the shape of a soul. It resembled the characteristics of the soul fragments.

If that was the case, then perhaps this piece of my soul that had split off naturally would become encapsulated in that magic. A tiny soul fragment would be contained within my tree trunk, forming the roots that would create its identity.

Gently, I brushed the flow of the unique magic engraved in the tree. My thoughts were conveyed through my will to the tree. I could see it swaying slightly as if to affirm my assumption.

The ease with which my doll could form its identity might have stemmed from this uniqueness of my soul. Perhaps my talent as a doll manipulator originated from that aspect as well.

I pulled my hand back from the lake and sighed. Perhaps it was because I had genuinely recognized the uniqueness of my soul that my head felt a bit dizzy. It seemed I needed a moment to rest.

So, I quietly sat down at the bottom. Then I gazed at the lake in front of me. The soul lake gently spilled out the silvery light emitted by the soul fragments. I could see that light faintly shimmering.

As I sat there, entranced, I felt the Sister approaching me. I glanced at her. She met my gaze and offered a gentle smile.

Now that I think about it, what were Professor Ilian and the others doing? Shifting my gaze, I looked around. They were gathered near the lake, observing it just like I was. I could catch glimpses of curiosity in their eyes.

“How does it feel to see your own soul?”

The Sister asked, a cheerful smile on her face as she waved at me. Meeting her gaze, I couldn’t help but show a wry smile. My soul? It was shockingly unbelievable.

“I was really surprised. I didn’t expect my soul to look like this.”

“Hehe, really? Well, if it weren’t for this dream, the lamb wouldn’t have had the chance to meet their soul directly.”

The Sister chuckled softly, covering her mouth. I nodded lightly. The appearance of my soul seemed quite normal on the surface.

If I hadn’t delved into my inner world like this, I wouldn’t have had the slightest idea that my soul possessed such a form.

Thus, we stared intently at the lake together. I felt her settle down beside me gently. Glancing at her, I saw a feeling of laid-back calmness radiating from her.

What could be the reason she led me to this place? It must have only brought her disadvantages. Amidst these thoughts, a revelation struck me.

This lake contained my soul in its entirety. Therefore, the moment I recognized the form of this soul, it became clear why my soul was so fixated.

My suspicions were indeed correct. The words of the general also turned out to be somewhat true. He had called these things contaminants. Indeed, they were fragments of my soul, but they were sullied by the power of treasure.

The power based on that contaminated the lake. They had half shed the fetters created by the soul’s flow. Thus, it made sense that soldiers had opposed them. They were beings trying to break free from my soul.

This coincided with the thoughts I had been harboring. In that respect, it could be said that these fragments were similar to my 심마. So, what could be the reason that these fragments of my soul were naturally drawn to the power of treasure?

I lightly extended my hand to the lake. As I did, I grasped a soul fragment flowing with the current. Instantly, a small memory brushed against me. In that memory, I found myself in a city.

Inside the vast forest of towering buildings, I felt something striking the building where I stood. I also felt the shock of the building collapsing completely. In that moment, I was crushed under the rubble.

Aside from that memory, I felt nothing from this soul fragment. It was clear to me that it was merely a piece. This soul fragment was indeed terribly incomplete.

Being an incomplete fragment, they always yearned to be filled. I recognized that their wish was embedded within my unique magic.

Therefore, they were bound to easily become tainted by something carrying a clear desire, like that of treasure and my 심마. It was the reason why Rumira’s dream had turned into a mess. My soul fragment had become heavily drawn to that 심마.

Such issues were also manifesting in my dreams. The Sister, the Rabbit, the Hunter; each one of them resembled the manifestations of my obsession based on the power of treasure.

I scratched my head lightly. However, they couldn’t be seen as simple 심마. In Rumira’s case, those dolls shifted their shapes according to the direction held by the 심마.

If they had been merely tainted by the power of the treasure, their shapes should have varied. Yet, they all took on the form of Professor Ilian. That uniformity—was something that couldn’t have simply been achieved by the power of treasure alone.

In that sense, the power of treasure was merely a catalyst. The reason those fragments took on the form of Professor Ilian was quite clear. They were the anchors of my dream and the beings my soul had focused on.

My soul desired for them to take such forms. I gazed blankly at the lake. The flowing soul fragments, as I observed before, were incredibly unstable.

Then what about the entirety that makes up me, that soul? I shook my head lightly. No matter how many fragments I gathered together, they would ultimately just scatter apart. Thus, my soul was merely a collection of small pieces.

My soul was incomplete both as small fragments and as a large whole. Therefore, like those fragments, my soul always wished to become perfect.

I lightly summoned some magic to draw a magical circle. It was perfect tea magic. I poured it into a teacup and handed it over to the Sister sitting beside me. Gratefully, she accepted it and smiled gently.

“Oh my, thank you!”

“No need for that, please enjoy.”

I quietly sipped the tea. My perfect tea magic generally encompassed the word perfect.

Perfect massage magic, perfect cushion magic, and so forth… Perhaps my fondness for the word perfect stemmed from my soul.

This was an instinctual desire to attain completeness. In that sense, it was quite natural for Professor Ilian to become the object of my soul’s obsession.

In a world defined by magic, dragons symbolized perfection. A dragon could be considered a complete being from the moment it was born.

This was not merely knowledge that I understood abstractly. I had learned this through experience, staying by her side and witnessing her magic firsthand.

Her magic was entirely unique compared to other mages. It flowed with utmost purity, and the traces derived from it were simply perfect.

Thus, the moment I recognized Professor Ilian as a dragon, my soul began to yearn for the perfection that she embodied. This desire for perfection can be seen as a natural urge of an incomplete existence.

This yearning must have collided with the underlying desire of the treasure, creating a more immense obsession. I glanced at the Sister again. That familiar face, resembling Professor Ilian, bore a gentle smile.

This group of about fifty Professors had come into existence for that very reason. It was a product of soul fragments imbued with the power of treasure revealing their obsession toward perfection.

I gently touched the surface of the lake. I could feel the faint ripples forming at my fingertips. As I brushed against the souls, I naturally came to realize something regarding the way to eliminate my obsession.

It was very simple. I just had to eradicate them all. The general may have been right. Memories of him passionately discussing purity surfaced in my mind.

If my soul was to regain its purity, I needed to eliminate the objects containing my obsessions. Just like Rumira had removed the 심마, I too would just have to kill all the beings resembling Professor Ilian.

If these ones disappeared, the obsession that filled me would surely subside. After all, they occupied the core of my fixation. This truth became clear as I contemplated the flow of the souls.

Thus, I stared intently at the Sister. Seemingly sensing my gaze, she looked back at me and smiled softly.

She was surely aware of this fact. That I would naturally realize it the moment I arrived here.

Therefore, from her perspective, there was no particular need for her to bring me here. Yet still, she guided me to this place.

No matter how much I promised to show her the reality, it didn’t seem like she was just doing it for that purpose. I gently stroked my chin, recalling what the general had said.

Didn’t he say that these beings could pollute this lake and my soul? If what they sought was to reach my soul, I might currently be facing a substantial danger.

“Seeing this lake brings up one question. Why did you bring me here?”

“Well, it’s because the lamb wished for it.”

The Sister placed a hand on her cheek and smiled lightly. Glancing at her, I nodded slightly. True, as she said.

I was the one who had summoned them. I had made the contract and brought them here myself. But it was clear that they had desires of their own, which compelled them to follow me.

“Hehe, such a dubious look on your face. Don’t worry; while we have our tasks, they won’t harm the lamb.”

She stood up while saying that, clasping her hands before her heart and bowing her head. After offering a brief prayer to the lake, she turned back to me and continued speaking.

“If you’re concerned, you can eliminate us. You must have realized what we are by now. If the lamb intends to do so, we would gladly accept your hand. It can serve as one of the methods.”

The Sister gave a soft smile. Her bold demeanor made me bitterly smile in response. I closed my eyes, briefly lost in thought.

Standing before the soul brought clarity to the connection that existed between us. Within that bond, all these fragments remained under my control.

If I simply desired their disappearance, my will would transmit through that connection. They would have no choice but to comply. No matter how much they were tainted by the power of treasure, they were still pieces of my soul.

Should I eliminate them, the obsession that filled me would undoubtedly vanish. I could also readily prepare for their unknown intentions. My safety would be secured.

Continuing those thoughts, I gently shook my head. Opening my eyes, I found the Sister gazing at me, seemingly waiting for my words.

“No. I’ve discussed something with you and I can’t do that. You’ve led me here, so I will grant you a return to reality. That was the promise.”

Erasing them would immediately eliminate my obsessions. That I could affirm. But that alone wouldn’t mean I had eliminated all causes.

The reason they came into existence lay within my soul. As long as I accepted the power of treasure and while my soul remained this incomplete, obsessions like theirs would inevitably arise again.

Touching my chin thoughtfully, perhaps their existence was a stroke of fortune for me.

When I first acknowledged my obsessions, I had somewhat regretted accepting the power of treasure. Though it led to my tree’s growth, I believed it also brought greater side effects.

Yet now, this power of treasure was merely a catalyst. More important factors were deeply hidden within my soul.

Had the power of treasure not consumed the flesh, leading my soul to be forcibly tainted by obsession, I undoubtedly wouldn’t have grasped this form of my soul. I likely would have lived a typically ordinary life.

In that ordinary life, my soul would naturally and steadily have begun harboring desires toward Professor Ilian. I would have inevitably detected she was a dragon.

At the end of such desire, I may have ignited an intense obsession toward Professor Ilian without even realizing my ideals. Perhaps a fixation stronger than even now. That flow would have felt incredibly natural.

However, since the power of treasure yanked that flow forcibly towards me, I was able to realize the ideals of my soul and visually confirm my own soul. Preemptively avoiding potential danger that might arise in the future.

From that perspective, they had come to help me once. Therefore, I couldn’t bring myself to eliminate them. Yet, if I considered efficiency alone, erasing them would definitely be a helpful step in the short term.

Nevertheless, a matter of trust transcended mere practicality. They had shown kindness to me, thus I too needed to return the favor. Even if they were just fragments of my soul under my control.

No, perhaps, because they were fragments of my soul, I needed to treat them with more respect. Their soul fragments were like dolls. I instinctively understood that a strong sentiment toward me was contained within them.

Due to that shared flow of souls, I too needed to repay their hearts. As I considered this, I looked towards the Sister.

“Hmmm, I’m grateful for your words alone. But then, how do you intend to resolve the issues surrounding the lamb?”

The Sister said as she lightly knelt beside me. I could see her tilting her head as she pondered my answer. Smiling faintly at her, I turned my gaze back to the lake.

The issue was quite apparent: the root of my obsession stemmed from the fundamental imperfection of my soul. The power of treasure wasn’t the problem; fundamentally, it was the issue with myself.

If that was the case, I could simply reshape that root. If I somehow resolved the instability that resided within the soul, it was clear I wouldn’t generate further obsessions.

“I plan to enter and directly control the flow of that soul.”

So I proclaimed as I looked upon the lake. That lake was my soul. If I couldn’t even handle my one soul properly, could I really call myself a mage?

From that aspect, this was a sort of challenge. An opportunity to mend my imperfections and gain control over my soul. Rising quietly, I felt the Sister’s eyes upon me. I read the interest shining within them.

I inclined my head slightly in her direction, then turned my steps toward the lake.

Gently, I submerged my body into the lake. With every step, I walked deeper into it. I could sense the soul fragments swirling around me.

Feeling memories seep into me, I closed my eyes. As I waded onward, the water engulfed me up to my neck. My whole body was now completely immersed in that lake.

As my head submerged, I began to feel more deeply embedded within the flow of this soul. With a light exhale, the soul fragments of the lake started to flow through my body, following my breath.

The sensation was entirely different from merely dipping my hand into it. The memories conjured by the soul fragments as they flowed within my body were richer and more direct.

Within that current, numerous memories brushed past me. And amidst the current of those memories, I became more acutely aware of the imperfections existing within my soul.

This imperfection was what pushed for completeness. And right now, that longing for perfection was directed towards Professor Ilian. As I soaked in the lake, I felt the waves of those souls more distinctly.

I slowly raised my hand, releasing my magic. That magic spread like threads, intertwining with the flow of the lake. Thus, I began to delicately adjust the magic that was infused into the flow.

What is perfection?

I pondered momentarily. Without a doubt, a dragon was the epitome of perfection. That was an undeniable fact.

Therefore, my soul instinctively clothed those forms with the image of Professor Ilian. Shaking my head lightly, I realized that was the wrong direction.

Simplistically imitating Professor Ilian alone would never be called perfection.

Merely borrowing her form could only grant me a fleeting sense of stability at best. In the end, that would merely be relying on another’s strength. It wasn’t a perfect method to resolve instability.

The perfection of a mage wasn’t achieved by solely depending on others. It was about nurturing and continuously governing oneself until the tree was complete. That is what a mage could genuinely consider most perfect.

I gently caressed the flowing soul fragments. These fragments were both parts of my soul and little individual pieces.

This was likely the reason they hadn’t properly recognized the existence of that magic. Just like many soldiers I had encountered earlier, they were merely wandering helplessly within their own memories.

Thus, I had to ensure that these pieces of my soul could deeply experience that magic. I extended my magic, forcibly leading the flow of souls toward me.

If the fragments recognized that magic, they would naturally be connected to me. They would come to sense the tree residing within me. Concentrating my thoughts, I continued to draw in the soul fragments into my body.

My soul was lacking in many aspects. It couldn’t be helped. After all, it was merely a colony formed from these tiny fragments of soul.

That was a shocking truth I hadn’t anticipated. I believed that my soul would have a more robust and clearer form.

Yet, this unstable, incomplete, and therefore unremarkable lake turned out to be my soul. So, upon confronting this soul, I felt a slight disappointment.

But even so, this was still me.

I couldn’t just deny it because it was imperfect and then yearn for a more complete existence.

So I mustn’t direct that obsession outward. All forms of recognition must be aimed solely at myself.

The imperfection of my soul could be regarded as a deficiency. But that deficiency also represented the potential to be filled.

So let’s make those little fragments recognize me and ensure that the imperfections within them can be endlessly filled.

If I could reach that endpoint, while my soul may never become complete, it would undoubtedly be greater than it is now. That was my conclusion as the master of this soul and as a mage.

With that in mind, I scattered my magic into the flow of souls. I intended to lead that flow according to my will, turning my existence into a distinct light, guiding the soul fragments toward me.

Throughout this process, I could feel my magic flowing through the fragments. They began to emit a brighter glow, and at the same time, they started to take on more pronounced shapes.

Thus, most of the awakened soul fragments felt connected to my tree. I could feel the sensation of those souls, their fullness filling my heart.

Placing my hand on my chest, I savored that sensation. Within that sensation, the soul fragments possessed incomplete shapes. However, that very incompleteness defined my identity.

Thus, I had no need to desire another’s perfection. I merely had to fill this inadequacy little by little. As I seized control of my souls completely, I recognized that my tree had grown even more massive.

Upon realizing this, the dream began to gradually collapse. The lake appeared to dissolve like bubbles, and the soul fragments that had filled the surroundings began to sink away. This was due to the anchors that held the dream dissipating entirely.

With that, I felt my body being pulled somewhere. That current possessed a force strong enough to be irresistible. I was dragged into darkness.

And then, I opened my eyes wide.

I saw a gentle light flowing around me. Beyond that light, I could see Mira and Koit engaged in conversation.

I lightly brushed my forehead and rose from the place where I had lain. It was a small bed resembling a casket. It was the place to dive into dreams. As I came to, noticing my awakening, Mira waved lightly at me.

“Oh, you’re awake! We were waiting for you.”

Her tone and demeanor resembled that of the Sister. No, it was the other way around. The Sister resembled Mira. It felt strikingly like it had been ages since I had last seen Mira. I approached them awkwardly.

“How long… has it been?”

Mira tilted her head slightly. She then pulled the Mirror Bug from her embrace. It began drawing the present time on the screen.

“About three hours have passed.”

Mira replied with a faint smile. I couldn’t help but give a light laugh. It felt as if I had spent weeks in there. It seemed time flowed quite whimsically in dreams.

“How was the dream? Was it fun?”

Mira asked with sparkling eyes as she leaned toward me. I lightly nodded. Fun, certainly! I had encountered so many professors. There was also a sort of realization.

I placed a hand over my heart. The tree within had much thicker girth and texture compared to before. It seemed that its growth wasn’t merely confined to the dream.

The flow of magic originating from that tree was now more pure and explosive than before. Focusing my mind, I could feel a slight seed flowing within it. It was definitely a piece of my soul.

The growth of this tree didn’t merely end in a quantitative expansion. It was like a stepping stone to approach a higher realm. Thus I instinctively knew that this realm had become more solidified.

I fully recognized that I had stepped up a level and that I was prepared to move on to the next stage.

At that moment, I watched as space in front of me began to split. From that split, a piece of paper fluttered down, landing gently on the table.

What could this be? Just as I pondered, Koit burst into soft laughter. He then began to applaud enthusiastically. I could see joy lighting up his face.

“Wow, I should congratulate you! It seems something good happened while you were inside.”

He picked it up and shook it lightly. Then, investing magic into it, he sent it flying toward me. I carefully caught it and checked its contents.

The paper was a sort of notification. I slowly read the words written at the top.

[Promotion Exam Notification]

It stated I was to visit the city next month for a promotion exam. I blinked in surprise. It had hardly been two years since I had ascended to the second floor. Yet, here I was, already receiving a notification for a promotion exam.

This was clearly an outcome that surpassed the average. Mira jabbed me at the chest with her soft fingers, grinning widely. It was her way of saying congratulations.

I too smiled back at her, acknowledging her congratulatory gesture. But I couldn’t smile too broadly. This was not solely an achievement I had produced.

This was the result of sacrifices made by the fifty-or-so professors who had laid down their lives for me. Their promise had been etched deeply into my heart. I needed to keep it.

There was another person I needed to express gratitude to. I bowed deeply to Koit.

“I couldn’t have resolved this without you, senior. Thank you so very much.”

I recalled the name of the Dream Theater. The realm of dreams was indeed peculiar. Despite being my dream, it was filled with elements I couldn’t fully comprehend. Without Koit, I wouldn’t have been able to seize this opportunity.

At my expression of gratitude, Koit waved his hand lightly.

“Ah, I just guided you into the dream. I didn’t see the inside, you know. I wanted a taste of it. So, are you heading back now?”

Koit said, licking his lips playfully. I sensed him casting a glance at the coffin I had emerged from. I nodded. Then I placed my hand over my chest.

Gone was the intense obsession that had always stirred within me. With the result of fully controlling the imperfections of my soul, the resulting obsessions subsided naturally.

Now it was time to return to the Tower. And to face Professor Ilian. With my obsessions fully resolved, I needed to report to her.

So I exchanged my farewells with Koit and headed off to the Tower. Confidently, I strolled towards Professor Ilian’s room.

Standing before the firmly closed door, realization struck me. Ah, right. The task of decluttering my obsessions and seeking Professor Ilian’s forgiveness were separate matters.

Even if I firmly dispelled those obsessions, that didn’t mean she would automatically open the door for me. She was still deeply upset.

To substantiate this was the “Ebron Forbidden,” clearly illuminated at the door. Seeing that, I scratched my head lightly. It seemed my issues weren’t all entirely resolved yet.

As I pondered how to smooth things over with Professor Ilian, she did not readily grant me entrance. During this time, an entire year sped by.

Many treasures had been made to lecture, and within that period, I had challenged the promotion exam to the third floor. I had failed. The wall of promotion was still far too high for me.

Moreover, I had also failed to win back Professor Ilian’s heart. I stood before her door with a rueful smile. Beyond it, I felt no trace of magic energy. Professor Ilian had left the Tower for an evaluation of the graduates.

Still not having sought her forgiveness, I couldn’t follow after her. Instead, Mira had set off with Professor Ilian.

Gently stroking my chin, I decided this situation could not repeat itself again. Thus, just as Mira had suggested, I needed to present a proper gift to Professor Ilian.

And throughout all this time, I had formulated ample plans for it. I recalled the treasure that would be lecturing next. The Blood Axe; that was the target I was aiming for.

 

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