The Butcher of Gadobhra

Guard duty for 'The Family' could range from boring to life-threatening, but it always paid well. The bodyguards who accompanied the corporation's officers and their extended families were well-trained for situations that might occur in board rooms, nightclubs, or a private beach. Wherever 'The Family' went, they took security details with them. This was a necessity in the current world environment, but the family had long been obsessed with security.

Four generations ago, the son of an organized crime boss had married the granddaughter of an entertainment mogul. There were endless discussions about which side had the most skeletons in their closets or buried in concrete building foundations. Both had ruthlessly built their empires and steered their offspring into arranged marriages. When Roberto Valente announced his surprise engagement to the starlet he'd been escorting around town his family had not been happy. Neither had Rupert Upchurch IV when he heard his granddaughter Olivia was marrying the son of a mob boss. The loving couple arranged a small 'get together' to discuss the upcoming wedding. As the wine and whiskey started flowing, the two sides found they had much in common and shared the same business philosophy. A larger merger than the simple marriage was worked out, with money and power combining into a new corporate juggernaut that quickly acquired many assets in the entertainment industry. When entertainment went online, so did The Family, moving into streaming services and adult entertainment channels. Years later, they were quick to capitalize on Virtual Reality, and rebranded the corporation as Famco.

This current job required special training, the ability to adapt, and experience with medieval weaponry. Bonuses were given for experience in the earlier VR games. Ten employees of HardBoys LLC, the division of Famco that offered security services, were currently assigned the task of guarding TimmyTheWonderBoy37. A recent memo reminded the security detail that referring to the job as 'daycare' would get their pay docked.

Like many of his older relatives, Timmy had been groomed for stardom from birth. As a newborn, he was in diaper commercials. At two, he was the cute child saying cute things as he played with the latest 'must have' toy. His ratings were high enough that the family jumped him to his own show, 'All About Timmy', when he was six. It was a hybrid concept, with Timmy acting for part of the show, but when he walked into his magical closet, an animated version took over for his adventures in TimmyLand. Animated Timmy donned his shiny armor, killed everything in sight like a good murder hobo, then had a picnic with his friends featuring whatever candy or snack bar they were advertising that week. Ratings were through the roof, and Timmy became an overnight star...until he got older.

At Twelve, Timmy didn't have the synergy with audiences that he'd had at six, and the animators were scared to change the character. The show split into two spinoffs. 'Little Timmy in TimmyLand' went fully animated while 'All About Timmy' took advantage of the VR games and moved into streaming his adventures in Endless Questing Online. Timmy played a clever but poor squire named TimmyTheWonderBoy37, who adventured with the dangerous outlaw knight, DarkDeath54. The show was insanely popular, and advertising revenues poured in. Bludgeon Brew purchased sponsorship rights to the show, and often, Timmy's character was shown carrying a keg of cheap beer into dungeons so DarkDeath54 and his cronies could have a frosty Blud after killing a dragon. As Timmy grew older, he became Sir Timothy, the Shining Paladin, while DarkDeath's character mostly drank beer and was kept around for comedy. When Genesis was announced, Famco joined other corporations at the top level, paying billions of dollars to take part. They were less interested in acquiring land than they were getting a jump on the business of producing content. Timmy was bought a Beta Testing position, complete with streaming rights. DarkDeath57 signed a deal as a spokesman for Bludgeon Beer and agreed to accompany Timmy for the first week of the Beta period.

Along with the two came ten specially picked bodyguards who would be in the game constantly to make sure Sir Timothy looked good during the streaming sessions. Mostly they helped him power level, which at least gave them some excitement. Currently, they were scattered around the perimeter of a large orc camp, keeping a lookout for encounters and keeping the trash mobs down that constantly respawned in the forests and wandered into the camp. Every day or so, a special event occurred where a large orc delegation visited the encampment, spent a day fortifying the village, and then started raiding the local villages. Events like this with popular with new players, and some were already happening when the beta test teams started exploring the countryside.

Their client and his guest were currently waiting to start their 7th round of beating the event, returning whenever the local villages started offering quests. Usually, it was the Chief, Uftawk, riding in on a warg with a group of orcs to retake the village from the low-level orc tribe that held it, but they'd also seen a trio of Shamans, a goblin war party, and a Wandering giant.

The events were good experience, loot, and a chance at an Enhancement point made it worthwhile to keep returning. For people watching, it was a good bit of entertainment and a chance to bet on how Timmy died next if you. So far he'd lived five times, been squished by the giant, and turned into a mushroom by the shamans. Today was boring so far. Despite the villages claiming doom was coming for them, very few orcs or goblins had appeared in the camp.

Timmy was sparring with his old knight, Darkdeath57 since he actually knew how to fight pretty well. One stipulation in the old players current contract was that he refused to play the comical part of an old fat knight. Instead, he'd made a warrior and focused on bashing heads. Part of the reason Timmy had lived five times was due to Darkdeath57 killing any threat to the Shining Paladin. This was all edited out, of course. Timmy was the star, and everyone knew that. Darkdeath57 doubted they'd get another giant to step on Timmy, but one could hope.

"So what do you think Timmy? Uftawk again? You want the Chief or the bodyguards?" The two of them seemed to be able to take the whole encounter pretty easily. Both Timmy and Darkdeath54 were back up to Level 4 and working hard on leveling their skills. The first time they beat the encounter with no help from the guards, they each scored an Enhancement Point, their first one. That had let them increase their STR cap from 5 to 6 and both immediately raised that stat from banked experience. The next couple of times, they'd earned just normal experience and some loot.

Timmy was bored, and kept looking at his stats. "I think it's time for some solo attempts. I want to earn more Enhancement Points.”

"Solo? You think we're ready for that?"

"Maybe, maybe not, but It's worth a try. My skills are designed for fighting bigger monsters, not mobs. I might be able to take the giant. But you're more mobile and harder to pin down. I think if you keep moving, you can handle the larger mobs of low level mobs. If it's a giant, I get it, otherwise you take a shot at it. I'll stay back with the boys. If it gets really bad, I'll wade in and save you the death. But let’s push it a bit."

That was fine with Darkdeath54. He enjoyed a good fight, even if he lost. "Fine by me. But screw helping. If I die, I die. Just get it all on video. Good footage for the new Bludgeon beer commercials. Toss me one by the way. I'm empty." At the edge of the camp was a table with stoneware mugs and a keg of beer, proudly displaying the Bludgeon Brew logo. The beer company had paid a fortune to get the rights to distribute beer to every tavern they could find. There villages of contract workers were planting field after field of hops and barley.

Timmy was walking back after handing a mug of beer to DD54 when he saw a runner come into camp. He saluted Timmy. "Message from the Chairwoman: "Granny says get your skinny butt up to Sedgewick. I need some muscle up there. Take your team and get up there."

Timmy yelled out: "Family Business DD, sorry. Have to catch you later. You got this buddy. I left you the beer." And with that they trotted down the hill towards the nearest town to get horses and head north.

DarkDeath54's only reply was to drag the keg of beer to the center of the town and have a couple more mugs. He figured that he might as well get some drinking in and then see what popped up. If it was just Uftawks and a half dozen warriors he thought he could do it. And he could get another mug. He was currently using the sawed-off skull of Chief Uftawks as a drinking mug. A whole set would be nice. Timmy was only gone a half hour when a large horde of over fifty orcs came out of the woods and quickly surrounded the village. DD54 remained sitting and drinking.

Well, might as well finish my beer and enjoy the show, no way I can kill this many.

A party of ten entered the village. Six of them looked like bodyguards - big warriors with good armor and weapons. Uftawks had just one bodyguard so this was a good couple of notches higher in the pecking order. The one in the lead was some sort of lackey or herald - fancy hat, but barely four foot tall. The next three were all big piles of butt-kicking and nastiness. The first was a massive orc, nearly eight foot tall with greying skin. Scars and tattoos decorated his arms and chest, denoting a lifetime of successful war and pillaging. Next to him was a tall female orc with light green skin, muscles like a power lifter, and all the other pieces in the right places. DD54 had a bit of trouble tearing his eyes away to look at the rest of the war party. The last orc was a younger male. He had different facial tattoos than the old chief or the female. Not a bodyguard though. Too big, too much attitude, and good weapons in his hands.

The lackey approached and spoke in broken common. "What is this? Where Uftawk tribe? Why here pink-skin?! You are a dead pink-skin! Grovel before big chief."

DD54 grinned. You don't play through all 19 chapters of "Orcs at the Gates" without picking up the lingo. DD54 spoke fluent Orc. He poured a beer into the drinking mug, then drank it down and threw the mug at the lackey, hitting him in the head and cracking his skull.

Uftalk is right there. I'm using his skull to hold my drink. If you're here to fight, let’s get started. If you're here to drink, I hope you brought more booze.

If the lackey was hoping someone would avenge him, he was disappointed. All the orcs laughed at the sight of him rolling on the ground holding his head. The older orc stepped forward and spoke. His voice was like a river of gravel.

"HA! Not bad, Pinkskin. We are here for both. Chief Grunk has come to challenge Chief Uftawk. I, Great Chief Stonechewer have declared that only the mightiest warrior will be the mate of my daughter. I want some mean grandkids. Gruftcha Stonedotter was to go to the victor. Disappointing to miss a good fight, but with Chief Uftawk out of the way, Grunk gets lucky and will take this village and my daughter. I'm sure if you beg nicely, he will reward you for killing his rival by letting you stay for the wedding and kill you later."

There was a twinkle in the old orc’s eyes.

"No chance of that happening. I killed Uftawk here. I claim this village. It's mine! If little Grunky wants it, he has to fight me. I am DarkDeath of the 54 slayings. I challenge Chief Grunk to combat. Unless, of course, he's afraid. I will let him grovel for his life and then kill him later."

Chief Grunk screamed in rage and started to charge but was held back by the outstretched arm of Great Chief Stonechewer. Stonechewer looked over at DarkDeath54 and nodded. "It will be so. I will watch and drink your human beer. Fight well; I could use the entertainment."

"Help yourself to a Blud, Chief."

“Oh, this was going to be fun. The shit my mouth gets me into,” thought DD54.

After that there was no time to think as human and orc charged each other and fought - to the delight of their audience.

Meanwhile, back in Sedgewick...

"Dammit Greenberg, will you just show us the pages with the map?" This was the 4th time Monger had asked the ranger if he could look at the map he was making. Greenberg's refusal, and the ensuing arguments had been been annoying to everyone. As it became apparent the area wasn't very dangerous, the two women had headed back to the tavern leaving Manwar, Greenberg, and Monger to carry on with the mapping.

Greenberg had stopped and was sketching again in his large journal. "I told you, you can see it when it's done and I can copy my pages to a larger format. I'm not just letting you look at my journal." Monger continued to argue with him. Manwar scouted ahead a bit. After he was out of sight he circled back silently. He came up behind Greenberg and peered over his shoulder. Scowling, Manwar yelled at him, "That's a Deer! Why the hell are you drawing a Deer? You're supposed to be drawing a detailed map of the area!!"

"Eeep! Do not startle me that way when I'm drawing. I hate erasing things!!"

Monger grabbed the book away from him. The first few pages seemed to be an attempt to map the areas they had been to. Then, it got confusing. Arrows would point to both sides of the page with 'North?' written next to both of them. The drawings became more and more confusing. Finally, a page said only, "Screw it." The following page had a drawing of a deer. Followed by another page with a drawing of a deer. In fact, the next fifteen pages had drawings of deer. Very nice deer. But not a map.

Neither of his companions was happy. Greenberg ignored them and began eating a lemon. Manwar finally looked at the elf and said, "Ok, I'll admit they are nice pictures of deer. You really captured their images. But could you maybe explain why you quit mapping?"

"Oh, that's easy. It didn't make any sense; we kept changing direction. I tried to tell you, but you just kept telling me to draw the map and you knew where you were going. I was getting dizzy trying to map things and argue with you about what path was north. So I gave up and drew deer."

Manwar and Monger just stared at Greenberg. Thinking back, they did remember him arguing, but it had always seemed obvious to them which way to go. Some trails led in the right direction, and others didn't. Which seemed really strange when they thought about it. Manwar looked at the elf, who was enjoying his snack. "Let me guess, you're immune to it because you eat lemons."

"Well, I thought it was my 6 WIS, Perception skill at 3, Tracking at 2, and innate Elven ability to resist mental attacks. But you're right; it must be the lemons." And with that he took out another lemon and bit into it.

Manwar looked at Monger and asked, "So, what direction haven't we been in?" Monger thought a bit and pointed. Manwar looked at Greenberg and said, "Lead us in the opposite direction. If we start acting weird, just sit down and draw a deer."

Many deer drawings later, another picture was starting to appear. There was an area where, as Monger put it, "Shit just gets weird." The two humans felt a compulsion to go the other way. Greenberg seemed immune at first, but at a certain point, even he stopped. "I can't go any further, and it's hard to look at that rock." The other two couldn't even turn their heads in that direction. "What rock, Greenberg? Describe it."

"It's about two feet high, square at the bottom, maybe a foot across. The top has a flattened point. I think I can see writing on it, but it's hard to see with the vegetation. Hmm....and I can see a similar looking rock to the west of it about 20 feet, and one the other direction. Some sort of magic stones?"

Manwar's head was pounding. "Try to lead us along a path that parallels the stones. Monger, see if you can keep track of direction and distance. Plot it on a grid. Let's find out how big this area is."