The Demon Lord Is An Angel

Kir jumped at the sound of a voice, his wings knocking into the shelf as he turned, disturbing the remaining clothes.

"Who's there?" he called out, raising his hands. "I don't want to hurt anyone, I just needed clothes."

"I'll say. Not many guys can pull off an hourglass but on you it works. Those abs... Heheheh." The voice continued.

Hearing it a second time, Kir noted it was a bit... squeaky? He also noticed that it was coming from above, but there was so much crap dangling from the ceiling he couldn't see anything that looked like it could talk.

"Please show yourself," he said.

"Ooh, he's a polite one," the voice said, before a tiny winged creature fell to the floor, transforming as it did into a voluptuous, curvy woman who was only about one meter tall. She had milky-white skin with freckles and black hair streaked with red. Thankfully when she transformed she was wearing clothes. They did however seem more appropriate for a barmaid than... whatever role she performed in the store.

"You know, most people that try to rob the store don't eat the merchandise. I don't know how you got the key but my boss has a bit of a disintegrate-on-sight policy for thieves so I'm just gonna have to kill ya," she said as a tiny ball of flame gathered on the fingertip she pointed at him. "Sorry sexy."

"No, wait!"

The spell went off... then immediately fizzled into nonexistence as Kir felt himself absorb it inches away from his body.

"Huh. I was pretty sure those clothes didn't have protection spells on them. Oh well. I can still do it manually." She took off at a run. Three steps in she jumped into a flying sidekick - while yawning - strait into Kir's abs.

Kir expected the impact. What he didn't expect was that it didn't hurt at all.

The impish woman landed on her feet, a look of confusion on her face, and then tried to punch Kir in the-

"Ow!" she cried out, shaking out her hand. "Why-is-this-so-hard!?" She tried punching him everywhere she could reach, only for Kir to discover she couldn't actually hurt him.

"I, uh... do you need a knife or something?" Kir asked, feeling embarrassed.

The clearly demonic woman had exhausted herself after only a couple dozen strikes on Kir's body. "Ugh. I'm too lazy for this. I'm going back to sleep. Corlwin can kill you when he comes back..." She turned and slouched forward as she stepped away, little bat wings sprouting from her back through slits cut in her shirt, just above her corset.

"I hate to break it to you... but Corlwin's dead..." Kir said, not wanting to leave her hanging.

Before he knew it, she'd turned and was hovering right in his face, her skin now red and her wings out. "Corlwin's dead? You're not shitting me, are you?!"

"I'm telling the truth..." Kir said. "Uh..."

"Just call me Stella. Everyone else does. Stella the Fuckin' Free! Let's go!" She accelerated toward the window, only to bounce off an invisible barrier. "Bwah!" she sounded, disbelieving. "Maybe it's the door..." she scurried up and tried the handle, opening the door before, with another exclamatory cry, she bounced off the barrier it produced to bar her exit.

"Are you okay?" Kir asked.

"No no no! This isn't fair! I'm supposed to be free when he dies!" She moaned pathetically and started butting her horned forehead and fist against the barrier, swearing in a language that sounded rather elegant, with very flowy vowels. The barrier made a sound like a hollow tube with each strike. Even her tail, which was only about thirty centimeters long, drooped sadly.

"I'm Kir, by the way..." Kir suddenly remembered to introduce himself. "Uh... My father... kind of said something about inheriting the contract..." He scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"Your father?!" Stella closed the door and then flew into his face, hovering. "Hmm..." she intoned as she inspected him. "Corlwin always preferred grown men... human ones, that is." She turned, slapping him in the face with a fully extended wing. "Nope! Don't see the resemblance."

"You've made the wrong assumption... my father isn't that man-" Kir paused. Was it safe to tell what was clearly a full-blooded devil who his father was? She seemed unable to hurt him, so it wasn't like he was at risk from her... but then again, Corlwin had been able to send his men after Kir when he didn't know who Kir was... He tried to think about the oath Maledict had sworn. Even Maledict himself couldn't directly or indirectly harm him or his moms... but could a minion of a minion if that minion wasn't associated with Maledict directly?

He came out of his thoughts as he saw Stella staring into his eyes an inch away from his nose. "You were saying?" she asked, annoyed.

"Oh... uh..." Why the heck not, he decided... "My father is Maledict... Duke of Heresy."

Stella's jaw dropped.

"Son of a bitch!" she shouted, before double-palming her face. "You're the reason the Forbidding went out!" she pointed between her breasts, a glowing mark appearing as if called into being, which made Kir look away. "No wonder I couldn't hurt you!"

"Yeah... uh... that's totally the reason, hehe..." Kir blushed in embarrassment, partly from trying not to admire her cleavage too much and partly from knowledge. Aside from the initial fiery shot she'd taken, Kir hadn't felt the Forbidding activate at all. Was she so physically weak that the spell didn't recognize her as a threat?

"Ugh... I guess that means I'm your familiar now..." Stella sighed.

"My what?" Kir said.

"You know. Your demon," she facepalmed when Kir gave her a bewildered look. "How can you be the son of Maledict and not know what a familiar is?"

"I know what demons are, kindof... but why are you my familiar?" He asked.

"What the Heaven... 'Kindof'? What did the Duke of Heresy drop you on your head as a baby or something?" Stella snarked back, before taking on a matter-of-fact tone, emphasizing each syllable at first. "You have my contract. That means I'm your demon. A familiar is a spirit, demon, or - hell forbid - an angel that has made a contract to serve, enhance magic, yada-yada. My old boss had me run the store for him. Your dad gave that contract to you. You are my new boss. Therefore, I am your demon and familiar. Is that explanation simple enough? Do you need me to go slower?"

"You're being very rude," Kir said.

Stella appeared an inch away from his face, her face manic. "You try being a succubus living with someone that prefers to do it outside with regular folk instead of dipping it with a pure-fucking demon! Do you know what happens to a succubus if we don't get our lusty mana? We shrink! I haven't had a meal in AGES! I even got jealous of watching rats outside the window!"

Kir blushed, backing away until he was pressing his wings into the shelf full of clothes. "Don't you... um... eat?"

"Of course I eat! Succubi are very efficient mana eaters! How about I show you. You can give me a little taste of your-"

"No! No! I meant food! Don't you eat food?" Kir asked, raising his hands defensively. His face felt so hot, he knew he had to be red.

"Ugh. Do you mean, like, dead matter? Gross." Stella backed away, and Kir breathed a sigh of relief.

"Have you tried it?" Kir asked.

"No, why would I?" Stella raised an eyebrow, planting her fists on her hips.

"Err... how long have you been in the mortal realm?" Kir asked.

"About... fifteen years. Wish I hadn't come, I tell you that." Then she muttered under her breath, "Or rather I wish I'd come more..."

"And you never had food? No one ever asked you on a date?"

Stella crossed her arms under her breasts. "You try going out on your first contract and getting stranded with an asshole that just wants you to look pretty and sell things!"

Kir thought about this. "First contract... so that must mean you're-"

"Yes I'm a fucking virgin! So what?!" Stella shouted.