The F Ranked Journey (BL)

Lars POV:

I thought that the entire guild was gathered for this. Some of the boys and girls even had popcorn bags in their hands. Which was not fair. 

Why does the guild offer popcorn for something like this? Our party was going to fight, right? How come we were not offered a last meal? It was not like we were going to survive. 

Where were our human rights? Shame on the guild master!

"Boys, I would like to tell you something," guild master Bern was still in high spirits from all the laughing, and I had hope that my weak attempt to be polite will at least lead to a small mercy. A life without my limbs was something that terrified me. But a life without my teeth?

I could already imagine three servings a day of porridge. I hated porridge.

"I like you!" he didn't give us time to think his words over. No, he sprang, and before anyone could do something, his fist connected with Jean's chest. My eyes went wide, but I got a grip fairly quickly. A quick heal was sent Jean's way, and he stopped coughing.

"And one more thing," the guild master made a couple of steps back, as Jean emptied his stomach. Grass, and even something that looked like meat, littered the pristine stone. I send Jean another quick heal. "You are a thousand years too young, to keep up with me."

"Heck yeah!" and Mike was now in the claws of a madness so deep, that he actually grinned. Yes, I was going to die, and my fellow party members were going to join me. It was that simple. "A real fight!"

Before I could try to negotiate, Nate and Mike ran towards the guild master. Nate was now a mountain of muscle, yet his skin was bright red. Mike wielded his two-handed ax with a speed that should not be possible.

Bern... yawned a couple of times, as he smacked them around. We couldn't win like that. I knew that I will get a beating because of what I was about to do, but I had no choice. It was a matter of life and death. So... I made it so that the guild master will get a very strong case of the runny gift that keeps on giving.

The first fart was like music to my ears. Honestly, who ate before a battle with a healer? What, did these people expect I will fight with honor? Did I look like I could kick or punch? Some people.

As the stench filled the night air, I was sure, that guild master Bern now viewed me as his worst enemy. It was funny, well, if someone could ignore the fact that it was also tragic.

The guild master fought with vigor, tried to get past Mike and Nate more than once, murder in his eyes. I made it so that his stomach would rebel against him next.

And so, he got so slow that Mike managed to hit him with the handle of the ax. Nate landed a couple of hits on the guild master's knees. The brown stain on Bern's behind grew and grew, as he started to curse in a language I couldn't understand.

His gaze was locked on me. His message clear. One day, I will go through a dark alley, alone and defenseless, and then he would beat me black and blue.

I have heard that the Southern Islands were lovely during this time of the year. Surely, he wouldn't find us there?

"Enough!" roared Bern, as Mike managed to hit him on the nose with the handle of the ax. Blood gushed out, Bern looked so, as if he would soon have a heart attack. "Where is your honor?"

"We don't have any!" said Mike proud, as he made a couple of steps back. "For what would it be useful? You are so strong, that not even an entire army could have brought you down! Now you have to promote us!"

Oh, no. Please, God, no. I wanted to ask Mike if he was really tired of living, but then Nate piped in as well.

"Yes! Guild Master Bern, you are SSS Rank, and we defeated you. It is only fair that you give us the Rank of SSS. Please and thank you!"

Was I the only sane member of the party?

"Yes, as compensation for making me barf," Jean could speak, but I honestly had the desire to give him the shits as well.

"And you, healer? You... son of a..."

"Bern! No cursing in the common tongue in front of the kids!" one had to give it to Mr. Medon. He was a good guy. If I hid behind him, would that ensure my health and prosperity for a couple of more centuries? I made a couple of steps in his direction. "And you!"

Oh, snap. This time, Mr. Medon was pointing at me, and I was sure that not even the space behind him was safe anymore.

"How could you use such underhanded means?"

Was that a rhetorical question or something? I pointed at guild master Bern.

"I like my teeth," came out of my mouth, followed by a small whimper. "Please, Mr. Medon, don't let the big bad man pull all of my teeth out."

When in doubt, use your age as leverage. I didn't care that the entire guild was laughing at me. I just needed Mr. Medon's goodwill.

"Oh, Lars..." I was his favorite because I did everything, he told me. He'd tell me to jump, and I would ask him how high. It was simple like that. "Bern wouldn't have pulled out your teeth. But now he will do it."

I was alone against the world. A short glance in Bern's direction told me that Mr. Medon spoke the truth. I whimpered again; the guild members started pointing their thumbs in a direction which filled me with dread. 

Jackals, the lot of them!

"Only over our cold corpses!" Jean was in front of me, and Nate and Mike also took protective stances. "One for all! All for one!"

Well, there were worse ways to die, I guess. As I prepared myself to at least plant caries in the teeth of the guild master, he rose his hand.

"Enough," he murmured, farted, and then sat down. "Good work, boys."

And just like that, we were safe. Still, I was under the impression that I will never be forgiven. Mr. Medon grinned at me, and gave me the thumbs up. 

Life was good.