The Multiverse Project: Warhammer 40,000

"Ciaphas!"

Amberley plowed through Tangmo and Yuki, almost knocking them over, and dashed for one of the kneeling man. She didn't make it five steps before ten huskarls intercepted her, encasing her flailing, kicking limbs in immovable wall of armors.

"Ciaphas! Argh!" The huskarls manhandled Amberley to the ground, piling on top of the inquisitor who fought like a trapped tiger, squirming and screaming.

"Amberley?" The hero of the Imperium tried to turn toward the scuffle as the elskerinne, because who else could it be with the queenly bearing, awesome Red Sonja hair and a gigantic spear fit for a freaking Norse goddess, approached the dogpile at a leisurely pace.

"So this is the inquisitor you have told me so much about," her rich, melodic voice echoed across the Great Hall, the timbre amused and mocking. "What a shame, you came so close to rescuing your prince, only to be thwarted at the last moment."

"Huskarl Astrid," Tangmo said loudly, bringing the commotion to a stop, the elskerinne turning her steely cold gaze on him. "I demand that you release inquisitor Amberley at once."

"Is that so?" Astrid's canine peaked through her grin, "or what?"

"Everybody back up! Back the fuck up! Leilatha, Kenshin, Lingxin, Min Jae, you guys stay here with me and Yuki," Tangmo waved the Immortal Spirit battlegroup back toward the main entrance, and it was only now that he noticed how the Great Hall looked more like a stadium than an actual building, with an awning open roof and rows of seat that went up about twenty level until the furthest person was probably touching the ceiling. "Laura, Erik, keep them on the sideline!"

"A strange way to deescalate the situation," Astrid observed while nonchalantly placing her hand on the pommel of her sword.

"Oh no, I'm just getting them out of the way," Tangmo drew his broadsword, the Asians doing the same with their own signature flourish. "Because if you don't let Amberley go now, I'm gonna raise my sword."

"These two commissars show the same insolence," the elskerinne shifted her grip on the beautifully crafted power spear and approached Tangmo and the Asians, coming to a stop beside the downed Amberley and the mound of huskarls. "You will share their fate soon enough."

"Mother, wait," Astrid spoke up, and now that he got a better look, Tangmo can see the resemblance. "He's here to negotiate in good faith on behalf of his commissariat colleagues. Also, this commissar claims that he had clashed with Vahylde's horde and survived."

Loud jeering and disbelieving shouts bombarded them from all directions, the volume so deafening that it made Tangmo swayed from the sheer physical impact of it. Holy shit, he like being a heel but goddamn, now he understood the heat the Iron Sheik and Vladimir Volkoff got when they started singing the Soviet anthem at Madison Square Garden. Things weren't looking good on the elskerinne front either, because the annoyance from before just got upgraded to outright anger. Yep, he's about to get skewered.

"Astrid, did you just helped me or fucked me?" Tangmo glared at the huskarl, who flashed him an apologetic smile.

"Honestly I don't know," Astrid said meekly as the crowd settled down and the elskerinne stomped up to him, the spear angled for a killing thrust.

"You lie!" The elskerinne snarled at him.

"He does not!" Leilatha stepped forward, taking her place next to Tangmo.

"We got proof," Min Jae piped up, drawing the gaze of every huskarl in earshot. "Many who fought that day documented the event via the data-pad, specifically the moment when commissar Tangmo, colonel Lingxin and colonel Kenshin singlehandedly storm the berserker's ranks, cutting down hundreds of them and turning the battle in our favor."

"Did you record him singing too?" Lingxin asked.

"Of course, that was the best part," Min Jae nodded.

"Still pretty pissed I missed that," Yuki nudged Tangmo's ribs. "A duet from us would've been epic."

"I agree, but we're getting off topic," Tangmo waved at Amberley and the huskarls on top of her. "And can you please let her up?! Goddamn, she just wants to check if Ciaphas is okay. Come on man, have a heart."

The elskerinne muttered some bad sounding words under her breath before gesturing harshly at the dogpile, prompting the huskarls to ease off the mound. The moment the last woman got off her, Amberley scrambled to her feet and dash for Ciaphas, sliding forward and kneeling before him, hands cupping his face, followed by what Tangmo assumed were loving, tender words.

"Alrighty then," Tangmo adjusted his awesome commissar coat and held his hand out toward the elskerinne. "I am commissar Tangmo of the Immortal Spirit battlegroup, an honor to meet you. May I have the pleasure of knowing your name?"

The elskerinne stared at him, the intensity honed sharper than a katana, trying to gouge his motive and sincerity, like what Astrid did the night before. For his part, Tangmo kept his face impassive, with a hint of boredom seeping through. Minutes passed before the elskerinne eased her stoic demeanor and clasped him on the forearm, a warrior greeting.

"Eldulsalveig," the elskerinne said, her manner tight and distrusting.

"Okay, let me repeat that back to you," Tangmo shook her forearm, very well aware of the less than gentle squeeze. "El, du, sal, wen? Am I pronouncing that right?"

"More or less," Eldulsalveig nodded then released his arm. "But if it's too difficult for your tongue, Eldul will do."

"Alright Eldul," Tangmo said, so far so good. "Now, let's talk."

"About what?" Eldul snapped and brushed a strand of red and gold from her face.

"Didn't your daughter tell you why we're here?" Tangmo looked at Astrid, who was starting to get a little concern.

"She did," Eldul shrugged. "But it will be a fruitless waste of breath, because I will not be granting your request. The Valhallan and the Tallarn, along with their commissars, will be trialed by our law. You are welcome to bear witness to the proceeding."

"I'm sorry, but why in the fuck are we even here then?" Yuki piped up, and like Tangmo, she was getting super annoyed at how things were turning out.

"I am showing you the courtesy of denying your request in person," Eldul titled her head at Yuki, the inquisitive look was almost feline. "And perhaps I am simply curious."

"Mother, please," Astrid interceded, she took off her winged helm and bowed at Eldul. "You promise that you would at least hear them out."

"I only entertain this on your behalf, Astrid, even when I know no good will come of it," Eldul shook her head harshly, her fiery mane flying like a banner in the wind. "I might have been more receptive to this parley if those two commissars didn't shatter what remains of my goodwill. You saw what they did to the children, how they used them as human shields. It is unforgivable."

"Yo, wait, what?!" Yuki traded a distraught look with Tangmo.

"Umm…maybe we can all just take a breather and have a nice, calm conversation…"

"Hey Tangmo, just a heads up, the canonesses and their Celestian are heading your way," Laura interrupted Tangmo's attempt to placate the elskerinne. The high pitch squeak of her voice was apologetic, "me and Erik tried to stop them, we really did, but you know how they are."

"That's okay dude," Tangmo glanced back and groaned at the sight of the approaching Sororitas, every heavy step kicking up plumes of snow, Laura and Erik trailing after them.

"Are they part of the negotiation?" Astrid sneered at her Sororitas cousins.

"What do you think?!" Tangmo sighed exasperatedly and winced when Galatea and Miriya sandwiched him. "Shit."

"So this is the canoness of the Order of the Frost Bringer," Galatea addressed Eldul with queenly pomposity. "Well met, sister."

"The correct term would be elskerinne, sister," Eldul spat. "And I find no joy in this meeting."

"Get in line Galatea, I was talking to her first," Tangmo stepped cleared of the two Sisters of Battle. "Now, before we get to the tits measuring contest and all the useless theological crap, can we please concentrate on our original objective first? As in, the hero of the Imperium freezing his ass off over there?!"

"And as I said before, they will be trialed and punished," Eldul stabbed the butt of her spear into the ground and leaned forward until she loomed over Tangmo, the stare she fixed him radiated power, daring him to challenge her. "Do you object to this, commissar Tangmo?"

"Uh, yeah, I most definitely object," Tangmo gave the grip of his broadsword a few squeezes, banishing the cold from his palms and fingers. "Stand down elskerinne Eldul, I don't want fight you, but I will. And trust me it ain't gonna end well for you."

"Hubris and vanity seems to be the most common traits amongst you commissars," Eldul fumed, took two steps back and level her spear at him, the tip pointed at his chest. "Those two made similar declaration but fail to back their barks with any bites. I'm sure you'll prove to be a disappointment also."

"Commissar!" Min Jae tossed his curved geom at Tangmo. He caught it mid-air, drew the broadsword, gave both a few flashy krabi-krabong twirls, stomped his foot once and got into a Muay Thai guard. It was clear from the startled look on Eldul's face that she'd never seen anything like this before. Beside him the Asians got into their battle poses, even the canonesses were joining in, power zweihander, thunder hammer and power halberd brandished beside the guardsmen colonels. The Frost Bringer responded in kind. Astrid stepped away from Tangmo to join her huskarl compatriots, the front rank drew their swords and formed a shield wall, while those behind them raised and trained their bolters forward. The clicking and priming behind Tangmo told him that Miriya and the Celestians were doing the same thing. Jeers and boos roared like a tempest around them, the booming admonition was so loud that it shook the very foundation of the stadium. But through the tumultuous din Tangmo was able to discern weaker, but no less poignant, peals of cheer coming from the Immortal Spirit battlegroup, refusing to yield to the crowd's shrilly cries. The spectators knew there was going to be blood, and they were hyped. So Tangmo disappoint them all by inverting his broadsword and geom and stabbed them into the ground, the display killing the crowd's enthusiasm as the boisterous roar was doused by gasps and murmurs, before settling to hush, disgruntled whispers.

"What is the meaning of this?" Eldul demanded. Her spear still trained on Tangmo who stuffed his hands into his awesome commissar coat pockets.

"Like I said, we're here to negotiate," Tangmo shrugged nonthreateningly. "Killing each other sounds kinda counterproductive, don't you think?"

"You want the law of your land to be executed, and you have every right to do so," Erik of all people stepped forward, if Eldul was offended by the fact that an eldar was talking to her, she didn't show. "But, correct me if I'm wrong, central Imperial law holds more power over planetary proceeding and, in some extremely cases, can override the judicial process of local lawgivers, right?"

"That's the gist of it, yeah," Laura nodded.

"I'm not saying that we'll be interfering, honorable elskerinne," Erik went on before Eldul can interrupt him. "But I believe Imperial law and that of Frystasvard can work together in tandem to help us pass a verdict that will be beneficial to both sides."

Eldul locked eyes with Erik. Although it was clear that she didn't like the idea, the logic behind Erik's offer was obviously cooling her fiery temperament. Good to know that she's more flexible than her Sororitas's sisters. Then, after a minute of tense, unyielding silence that made Tangmo forgot to breathe on two occasions, Eldul lowered her spear to the resounding shock of the gathered crowd, whose loud murmuring was taking on a rather dissatisfied timbre while the battlegroup cheered. Astrid smiled and nodded at Tangmo as the huskarls disengaged the shield wall. It was only now that Tangmo noticed how tall the elskerinne was, and that she was wearing a smooth, thin linen robe, the wispy fabric clinging to her body left nothing to the imagination, displaying her toned, athletic form for the world to see. Also, she was extremely ample in the bosoms department. Naturally, Tangmo stared, because goddamn, who wouldn't at something that big and beautiful?!

"I'm glad you like them," Eldul didn't sound too amused, but there was an obvious hint of pride in her tone.

"Sorry!" Tangmo swiftly lifted his gaze. Something simmered at the corner of his eyes and he turned to find a very agitated Leilatha glaring at him. "I didn't mean to look, really! It was just…there! How can I not notice?! I still love you!"

"This is your woman?" Eldul let her appraising gaze drifted over Leilatha, lingering over the lady commissar's modest breasts, before scoffing. "No wonder you look."

"Mother!" Astrid hissed, her face going red in embarrassment while a huskarl standing on Eldul's right, who seemed to be of age with the elskerinne, her orange hair did up in an immaculate braid, just rolled her eyes. Despite the triple line of scars cutting across her face, she was a strikingly handsome woman.

"Oh calm down, I was only teasing," Eldul waved Astrid off in a shooing manner then returned her attention to Tangmo and his crew. "How do you wish to proceed then?"

"Well, maybe you can let those two join us?" Yuki offered, pointing at the two commissars. "I mean, they're the defendants after all."

"I suppose," Eldul shrugged then nodded at her huskarls. "Bring them here."

Eight of the huskarls spun around, strode up to the bound Cain and Beije and dragged them roughly to where the Immortal Spirit representatives and the Frost Bringer had formed a rough circle, inquisitor Amberley remaining by Ciaphas's side throughout the entire ordeal. Then, with a savage kick, the huskarls send the two commissars sprawling face first into their midst. Before anybody can move to help, the huskarls hurled them up so that they were kneeling and facing Tangmo and his friends. Huh, for someone who'd been incarcerated, Ciaphas Cain was looking pretty good. Beside a few bruises and the cold paled skin he was more or less healthy. The same cannot be said for Tomas Beije, because it looked like the huskarls and shield-maidens went a few rounds on him. A commotion rose to the left, and Tangmo saw a squad of shield-maidens escorting three prisoners toward them. Two were women, one had red hair and the other a blonde, clad in tank tops and standard Imperial Guards pants, while the Arabic looking man, a Tallarn obviously, was bare from the waist up, all three had their hands bound behind their backs.

"It's Kasteen and Sulla," Laura leaned in close to Tangmo as the three joined them. "Bloody hell, no wonder Cain keep them close, they're really nice on the eyes."

"I know, right?" Yuki joined her. "I mean, look at those curves and busts. Cain is one lucky bastard."

"Holy shit, can you two perverts shut the fuck up?!" Tangmo shook his head and tapped his earbuds. "I want the colonels up here please."

"And the crowd grows," Astrid said. "What a spectacle this is turning out to be."

"Hey, this is more or less an Imperial Guard affair, might as well invite everyone," Tangmo picked up the two swords stabbed into the ground, sheathing the broadsword and handing the geom back to Min Jae. "Thanks dude."

"Anytime sir," Min Jae slid the geom into the scabbard at his belt then gaze at the ssangsoodo in his hand. "So…we're not going to be killing people?"

"Yeah, no epic swords fight today," at Tangmo prompting the Asians sheathed their swords, with Kenshin and Yuki trying to out flourish each other.

"What is happening?" Amberley demanded.

"A trial, I guess? We'll try to make it as fair as possible," Tangmo told her then wai the kneeling Ciaphas Cain. "I would prefer that we meet under better circumstances, commissar Cain. Lord commissar Tangmo, at your service."

"A pleasure," Ciaphas bowed, as much as the stockade would allow him. "You wouldn't happen to be the singing commissar that I've heard so much about, would you?"

"The one and the same," Tangmo grinned and threw his arm over Erik's shoulder. "But I'm sharing that responsibility with my eldar homie here."

"Can I expect a fair trial, commissar Tangmo?" Commissar Beije spoke up, despite being bound the man managed to sound both haughty and condescending. "I must say that the treatment I've received from these heretic women have been nothing short of disgraceful. They have shown unfair favoritism toward commissar Cain and the Valhallan. Unsurprising considering how intimate my colleague has become with our captor."

"And it was because of the Valhallan that our escape last night was thwarted," the Tallarn colonel spat.

"And I'll do it all over again!" General Sulla shot back.

"Keep your mouth shut when men are talking, woman," predictably the Tallarn's remark was not well received by the women of the Frost Bringer and the Immortal Spirit, but before any of them can tell him to fuck off, the other colonels arrived. The Tallarn's eyes went wide when he spotted Al-Rahman. "You! You're the son of that whore who'd destroyed our home!"

"Excuse me, but, who are you?" Tangmo strode up to the Tallarn colonel.

"I am colonel Asmar, of the Tallarn 229th – argh!" The man's sentence died in a pitiful gurgle when Tangmo's fist gored into his gut, the blow lifting him off the ground and he fell face first into the snow, gagging for breath.

"You don't talk to my friend or his mom like that, got it?!" Tangmo kicked Asmar in the ribs several more times when he didn't answered. "Well?! You were so talkative before motherfucker, say something!"

"Yes!" Asmar managed a croak.

"Hurl his punk ass up," Tangmo shook his head and the shield-maidens were more than happy to oblige.

"Lord commissar, please," Al-Rahman stepped forward with a pleading look in his eyes. "People like him are beneath you. Don't waste your breath and energy on him."

"Sorry dude, I'm not the kinda guy who let that shit slide," Tangmo nodded at Al-Rahman then glanced at the gathered main characters. "Alright, now that everybody's here, will the prosecutor please present their case against the defendants?"

"Skoleif, if you will," Eldul turned to the huskarl with the orange braid.

"Commissar Ciaphas Cain, commissar Tomas Beije, the Valhallan 597th and the Tallarn 229th stand accuse of crimes against the people of Frystasvard," Skoleif's powerful voice resonated easily across the stadium. "They have brutalized our men, trampled the honor of our women, and had conducted themselves most unbecoming of the Allfather's warriors."

The crowd roared their approval.

"Furthermore," Skoleif continued when the cheers died down. "They ignored our warning on the danger of the Black Stone mines, and have willfully endangered not only Frystasvard, but the system and the Imperium at large." She turned her stern gaze on the two bound commissars. "Do you deny these accusations?"

"In the strongest term!" Beije bellowed. "You have no right to incarcerate and pass judgment upon us for following the will of the God Emperor. The word of a heretic means nothing!"

"I regret that I was not able to keep the peace," Ciaphas said. "I also regret that I was not able to protect the people of Frystasvard."

Welp, the crowd didn't like Ciaphas's little apology, the gathered women saw through his bullshit and showered him with boos and jeers.

"Oh shit, tough crowd," Tangmo couldn't help but laughed, too bad Raine wasn't here to see this. "And the prison break last night didn't make you guys any more popular, did it?"

"They took over an orphanage once we had them cornered," Eldul rejoined the conversation. "Using the children inside as hostages while demanding that we set them free, they heard news of your coming and got extremely desperate."

"Bloody hell mate, I expected better from you," Laura shook her head while the Immortal Spirit's women colonels cast consternating look at Cain and Beije, even the Sororitas and Banshees were visibly displeased. So far, the battlegroup seems to be taking the Frost Bringer's side.

"What exactly transpire inside the orphanage?" Leilatha stepped forward and asked Eldul.

"The woman will spew nothing but lies," Beije cut in before Eldul can speak, the elskerinne growling at the interruption. "Her testimony cannot be trusted."

"And yours can?" Leilatha glared at Beije, the intensity made him flinched.

"We are both of the commissariat," Beije recovered from his shock quickly. "You would take the word of a heretic over mine?!"

"I would," the sharp finality of Leilatha's tone surprised even Eldul. "I know the kind of person you are, commissar Beije, your dossier leaves much to be desire and I doubt anything you say would be worth my time."

"You insolent little…!"

"Elskerinne Eldul, may I hear your testimony please?" Leilatha ignored Beije, sparing him not a speck of attention. Tangmo couldn't believe how freaking awesome his girlfriend was.

"They managed to escape from prison last night," the haughty, villainous gaze Eldul gave Amberley was acidic. "Commissar Cain was able to use his masculine wiles to seduce the jailers, young innocent little things too foolish to know better. When the entire staff was thoroughly satisfied," the gathered huskarls and shield-maidens sniggered at this. "He freed his men and those of commissar Beije and fled into the city. We gave chase of course, the hunt was a pleasurable one but so disappointingly short." Mocking laughter echoed across the stadium, but died away when the elskerinne's face twisted in anger. "That was when they decided to take over the orphanage. Like cowards they stormed the building, struck down the elderly caretakers before forcing the children to the windows and doors, announcing that they will kill them unless they are allowed to leave. It was only after I led the raid myself that we were able to subdue them."

"But we didn't want to take over the orphanage! It was their idea!" Sulla cried out but a sharp look from Eldul shut her up like a scolded schoolgirl. Instead, she lowered her voice to Kasteen. "You have to tell them!"

"Yeah, I remember this asshole saying something about you guys ruining their plan?" Tangmo spoke up, sparing Asmar a dagger sharp look before turning to Eldul. "They're the lead witnesses, dude. It's only fair that they get to speak."

"Very well," Eldul conceded curtly.

"Thank you, honorable elskerinne," Kasteen bowed then took a step forward, standing at attention before the Immortal Spirit battlegroup, "colonel Regina Kasteen of the 597th Valhallan, reporting for duty sir. And this is my colleague, cap…I mean, lady general Sulla of Valhalla."

"An honor, colonel Kasteen, general Sulla," Laura bowed and took center stage. "Would you be so kind as to tell us what exactly happens at the orphanage last night?"

"Certainly, lady inquisitor," Kasteen straightened. "The decision to take the orphanage was indeed made by commissar Beije and the Tallarn, and I regret to say that, given the circumstance, I was force to support their action."

"You did not follow this directive willingly?" Leilatha asked.

"I followed it, lady commissar, with reluctance," Kasteen said. "I cannot disobey a superior officer."

"That's very commendable, colonel Kasteen," Yuki said. "But I wonder, given the rather rocky relationship between your two regiments, why did you comply so easily?"

"By the time we reached the orphanage, there were only a dozen of us left…um, lady eldar," Kasteen bowed apologetically, not really sure how to address Yuki. "The Tallarn outnumbered us, and I did not want our dwindled forces to start fighting each other, so I agreed."

"I see," Yuki nodded and stroke her chin thoughtfully. "The elskerinne's accusation, how much of it is true? Be honest now."

"All of it, lady eldar," Kasteen cast her gaze to the ground, sighing despondently. "The Tallarn savagely attacked the caretakers and used the children as human shields in a desperate attempt to stop the elskerinne and her huskarls from storming the place."

"You traitorous bitch!" Beije roared. "You worthless petticoat colonel! I'll have you shot for insubordination! Mark my word!"

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" Tangmo raised his foot to kick Beije but Erik swiftly held him back. "Let me at him!"

"You gotta remain impartial dude!" Erik and Tangmo scuffled, the Swede managing to keep the Thai at bay.

"Bitch, I'm never impartial!" Tangmo reached his arms over Erik's shoulders, fingers clawing at the seething Beije.

"Calm down dude! You gotta calm down!" After a few more seconds, Tangmo slowly relented and allowed Erik to push him back. "You cool?"

"I'm cool, I'm cool," Tangmo disengaged then pointed at Beije. "You're lucky my bro held me back, bitch!"

"Okay…now where were we? Oh yes," Laura put the trial back on track and turned to Kasteen and Sulla. "As I understand it, you guys did something to the Tallarn during the hostage situation, which then leads to the Frost Bringer recapturing all of you. Mind telling us what all of that was about?"

"Under the suggestion of general Sulla, the Valhallan turned on the Tallarn, overpowered them and freed the children," Kasteen said, back straight with pride. "Once the children were saved, the Frost Bringer stormed the building and we were returned to our cells."

"Is this how it really went down?" Laura asked Eldul.

"This doesn't vindicate them," Eldul said.

"So they did help the orphans?" Laura pressed. "It's a simple yes or no answer, love."

"Yes, they helped free the children," Eldul groaned.

"So in summation," Tangmo pointed at Beije and Asmar. "Everything's their fault."

"What?!" Beije cried indignantly while the crowd rumbled in agreement with Tangmo, "how dare you imply that I am the guilty party here?! I am innocent! I follow the God Emperor's will but the wretches on this planet refused to obey his commandment, so I punished them, as was my right! Heretics, all of them! A perversion of the natural orders! They twisted the role given to them by the God Emperor into something disgusting and abhorrent!"

"You mean like women fighting and ordering men around, instead of being good, quiet little housewives whose only job is to produce baby?" Tangmo deadpanned.

"Yes! That is how the Emperor has design the human race to function, with the correct placement of duty for the two sexes!" Beije roared then glared at the extremely pissed off women around him, oblivious to the fact that his life expectancy just got shortened to a few minutes. "All of you blaspheme against His glory! You should all be ashamed for pretending to be men and taking jobs that doesn't belong to you!"

"In all my years, I have never seen anyone exhaust the goodwill of others faster than this man," Miriya spared nothing but disgust for Beije. "Do you deny colonel Kasteen's testimony?"

"That stupid whore doomed us, it was because of her worthless female sentimentality that got us incarcerate again," Beije said. "She has failed in her duty to the God Emperor, a disgrace to the Militarum, I recommend that the harshest punishment be apply to the Valhallan and commissar Cain."

"No commissar Beije, she shall not be the one facing judgment today," Miriya turned to Eldul. "If found guilty, what will the sentence for the condemned be?"

"I have many things in mind," Eldul said villainously, savoring the minuet faltering of Beije's equanimity. "None of them are pleasant, that I can guarantee."

"I vote Blood Eagle!" Tangmo raised his hand and the Frost Bringers stared at him, not in anger but surprise.

"I'm inclined to agree with this commissar," Skoleif's eyes sparkled with unhidden enthusiasm.

"I approve," Yuki spoke up.

"No objection here, mate," Laura added.

"But the Blood Eagle is inhumane! Not even someone like Beije deserves that!" Erik piped up, but a very evil look from Laura and Yuki shut him up.

"What is a Blood Eagle, if I may ask?" Evangeline stepped forward, sparing Beije one of the most disdainful, aristocratic glance ever conceived by womankind.

"Oh, it's super simple really," Tangmo told her pleasantly. "What you do is flay the motherfucker's back open until you can see all the bones and organs inside. Then you break the fucking ribcages with a fucking hatchet, pulled out the fucking lungs and draped it on the fucking shoulders, like two bloody wings. And viola, you got yourself a Blood Eagle."

"You cannot be serious!" Verity squawked.

"He is," Astrid narrowed her eyes on the smiling Tangmo. "How did you know all of that? Blood Eagle is one of our most guarded practices."

"He told me all about it," Tangmo pointed at the flabbergasted Erik, "said he did it all the time back in Stockholm. Anybody who pisses him off got dragged to an abandoned barn in the countryside and get fucking butchered. Dude's a stone cold killer."

"You lying jackass, I never did any of those things!" Erik bellowed. "And that barn is an animal shelter, I volunteer there during the weekend!"

"A perfect place to dispose of a body," Tangmo said knowingly while Laura and Yuki started whispering conspiratorially.

"That's it! I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"Enough of this nonsense!" Eldul cut in before the fuming Erik can lunge at Tangmo, her spear pointed at Cain and Beije. "Since commissar Tangmo has so graciously put forward the idea, I hereby declare that Ciaphas Cain and Tomas Beije shall be executed by Blood Eagle, and those under their command put to death by firing squads!"

"Yo, what the fuck?!" Tangmo shouted over the approving din, his epic baritone bringing the crowd to heel. "What in the absolute fuck did you just do?!"

"Passing my sentence," Eldul said haughtily, arms folded across her chest in a way that made them popped out.

"Yeah on Beije, not Cain!" Tangmo exclaimed, and holy shit Amberley looked about ready to kill him.

"The sentence is shared, lord commissar," Eldul was infuriating smug.

"But that's not fucking fair!" Tangmo pressed on fearlessly. "I think the testimony have made it very clear that everything is Beije and the 229th's fault, so why in the hell is Cain and the Valhallan being punished? I mean shit, they help you!"

"Their crime was compliance," Eldul countered mercilessly. "They did nothing when our men were beaten and abused like little better than animals, nor did the Valhallan stop the Tallarn from digging deeper into the earth. No commissar Tangmo, I will make an example out of these interlopers so that no one will dare to question our authority again."

"You know if you kill the hero of the Imperium, the Ministorum is gonna send a bigger army here, right?" Tangmo said.

"We'll be sure to give them an icy welcome then," Eldul barred her teeth wolfishly and the crowd roared in ovation.

"Shit! There have to be a way out of this without Cain fucking dying," Tangmo said. "I mean, shit, can't you just kill the Tallarn, those Tallarn to be clear, not ours, and Beije? I mean come on, it's all their fault anyway!"

"My answer remains the same, commissar," Eldul sneered then leveled her spear at Tangmo again, the quickness causing him to take an involuntary step back. "And I am getting very annoy with your persistence."

"Trail by combat," well, those were the three words he never expected to hear outside of Westeros. All eyes turned to Amberley as she squared up to Eldul. "Ciaphas Cain demands a trail by combat."

"The prisoner has no right!" Skoleif cut in.

"He does," Eldul sounded almost bored as she gazed lazily at Cain. "It appears that you managed to learn something about our law while getting rutted, impressive. But yes, the prisoner can call for a trail by combat. Are you sure about this? Are you willing to add more blood to your already soaked hands?"

Cain actually looked unsure, his brow furrowing, deep in thought, but it was Amberley who spoke in his stead, "he believes that this way, more lives will be spare."

"Not if his champion loses," Eldul's grin menacingly. "Because whoever he chooses, she or he will be fighting me. Will I finally get to test your mettle, lady inquisitor?"

Amberley didn't answer, her glare fixed on Eldul. Then she – oh no, oh fuck no, she walking this way, no, no, no, stop! Don't! Turn away! Stopping it with those adorable, glittering eyes! No!

"Commissar Tangmo," shit! "I humbly ask that you fight for Ciaphas Cain and the Valhallan."

"Dude, he's your boyfriend, why are you asking me for help?!" Tangmo spluttered.

"I know my capacity as a fighter," Amberley went on. Her pleading face was making his heart melt, in a good way he reluctantly admits. "But I've studied your files, and I believe you can triumph over the elskerinne."

"You do realize you're asking a lot from me, right?" Tangmo continued. "I mean, shit, how the fuck did we get to this?! I don't want to kill anyone here, fuck!"

"Please," Amberley cut in before Tangmo can begin another tirade, and holy fuck, she's not letting up with the sad puppy look. "You're my only hope. Do this and I will forever be in your debt."

"Take the deal mate, you can make her do anything in the future," Laura crooned huskily into Tangmo's ears. "And I mean anything…"

"Yes," Yuki joined in and leaned on Tangmo's shoulder, hers and Laura's cheek were pressed firmly against his own on both sides. The lusty look the Japanese and English gave Amberley was making the inquisitor fidget uncomfortably. "She's all yours after you win…"

"Gah! Get the fuck off me you fucking succubuses!" Tangmo dislodge himself from the pair and wiped his cheeks. "I have fucking standard, I'm not into that kind of shit!" Tangmo jumped with a squawk when Amberley shot him a blistering, offended look, and quickly held up a placating hand. "I mean I don't take advantage of women like that, okay? Look, you're beautiful and all, but I already have a girlfriend and she's better than you. Sorry."

"Nicely spoken," Leilatha commented to the giggling of the female colonels while Amberley just rolled her eyes.

"So are you accepting the inquisitor's request or not?" Eldul said impatiently.

"Oh what the hell, it's not like we have anything else better to do," Tangmo shrugged and met Eldul's extremely gratified gaze. "Is this like a fight to the death kinda deal?"

"Of course. Are you scared, little boy?" Eldul and the huskarls chortled like a bunch of bullies who got their victim cornered.

"Not really, but I think it would be better if this doesn't end in death," Tangmo turned to Erik and the male colonels. "I mean, come on, it's downright fucking sinful to kill someone that…magnificent."

"I agree with you a hundred percent," Krillen nodded.

"Yes, to harm a woman with such incomparable beauty is fundamentally wrong," Bruce added.

"Not to mention ungentlemanly," Alistair agreed with his Grey Watch counterpart.

"Beauty should not be marred by senseless violence," Kenshin added sagely to the hubbub of agreement.

"You guys just like her tits, don't you?" Laura spoke up bluntly, one brow quirked in an amused arc.

"Oh yes."

"That we do."

"They're the biggest I've ever seen."

"Was that not obvious to begin with?"

"It's always nice to be complemented," Eldul blew them a kiss, "and fine, this shall not end in death. I'll try not to hurt you too much." She turned around, the huskarls forming a tight circle around her, shielding the elskerinne from all prying eyes. "Bring me my armor!"

"Okay, while she's dressing up, here," Tangmo withdrew the data-pad from his awesome commissar coat, tapped the screen so that the footage of his epic fight with the Vikings and Maoris berserkers was displayed full screen, and handed it to Astrid. All the while trying to peek passed the huskarls who were doing a way too good of a job hiding the changing elskerinne.

"That's my mother," Astrid growled lowly as she snatched the data-pad from Tangmo's hand.

"I'm just scouting the competition dude," Tangmo grinned innocently. "Anyway, enjoy the show."

Astrid grumbled under her breath before looking at the data-pad, staring at the movie clip with rising focus.

"What's the game plan here?" Yuki asked as Tangmo rejoined the huddle of colonels, Min Jae holding out the geom to him, he took it with a nod.

"Simple, I roundhouse kick her in the head, and that should be the end of it," Tangmo gave his broadsword and geom a few quick, fancy twirls and swings.

"You think it's going to be that easy?" Laura asked the one question on everybody's mind, the battlegroup was looking at him with the tight sternness of soldiers about to march into the unknown. Tangmo shared that feeling.

"I seriously don't know," Tangmo admitted. "I have no idea what her fighting style is gonna be like, but I'm sure it's deadly. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that…"

"Skoleif!" Astrid yelled suddenly and rushed to the elder huskarl, the data-pad waving frantically in her hand. "Look at this!"

"Your little psychological warfare appears to be working," Erik smirked as a crowd of huskarls converged on Astrid and the data-pad. All of them watching in stunned silence.

"That's the clip from Jigugeum?" Kenshin flashed a toothy grin.

"Fuck yeah," Tangmo braced the swords on his shoulders and was about to walk away when Leilatha grabbed his arm, holding tight and forcing him to stop. Spinning around, Tangmo found Leilatha's unblinking brown eyes piercing into his soul, gleaming with unhidden worry.

"Please be careful," Leilatha said, visibly fighting down the urge to lean into him. Instead, she let go of his arm and took a respectable step back, striking a perfect commissar pose, indomitable and firm.

Tangmo tilted his head, smiled, stabbed his two swords into the ground, and scooped the startled Leilatha up in a hug. It wasn't anything amorous, but it was deep and meaningful, the simple joy of two people holding on to each other, sharing in the silent and comfort that belonged to them.

"Everything will be fine, I promise," Tangmo squeezed Leilatha tight, a gesture she returned with equal strength. The hug lasted for quite some time before they broke, reluctantly, apart.

"I'll keep you to that promise," Leilatha said and rejoined the other colonels, only to get accosted by Laura, Yuki, Lingxin, Evangeline and Joanna, the teasing giggles and whispers were enough to make her beet red. And despite their stoicism, the Sororitas and Banshee were paying more than a passing attention to the scene. Chuckling, Tangmo pulled the swords free from the ground, braced it on his shoulders like a badass, and approached the huddle of huskarls.

"Thank you sir," Tangmo turned to his left and found a grateful Kasteen and Sulla looking at him, "for doing this."

"Thank me when I won," Tangmo winked at the redhead colonel.

"You think this is a game?!" Beije started complaining again. "Take this seriously you fool! You represent all that is righteous about the commissariat, you must show these women where true – ahhh!"

Tangmo swung his broadsword down on Beije's stockade, the commissar squealed like a little pussy as the blade dug deep into the wood, the sharpened steel stopping just two inches from his head.

"Now you listen to me, you little fuck," Tangmo growled. "I'm doing this for Cain and the Valhallan, and the moment I win, I'm gonna have your entire regiment, yourself included, shot. Because I seriously don't like you people."

"You can't do this to me!" Beije's voice was an undignified squawk. "I am a commissar of the Astra Militarum with many powerful friends!"

"I can, and I will," Tangmo wrenched the sword free. "Still want me to win?"

All was hushed as Tangmo made his way toward Astrid. The watching locals and the Valhallan and Tallarn prisoners, who were forced into a caged alcove beneath the raised seats like a bunch of benchwarmers, didn't know how to react to the Immortal Spirit's commissar.

"I ask that you refrain from seriously injuring the Frost Bringer's canoness, lord commissar," Galatea spoke up. "She and the rest of us still have things to discuss."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm only gonna knock her out, don't worry," Tangmo waved off the Sororitas then spread his arms wide, swords in hands, and approached the huskarls. "Well? Is your mum finish yet? Let's get in on!"

"So impatient," the wall of huskarls parted and Eldul strode forward. Just as Tangmo had predicted, she wore a power armor similar to that of Astrid and Skoleif but grander, decorated with more battle scars and topped off with a fuck huge wolf pelt draped across her shoulder. Oh, and the boob plates were huge. "I have never met someone so eager to be…"

"Mother, wait!" Astrid stepped in front of Eldul, the elskerinne was not pleased.

"What?!" Eldul spat and Astrid pushed the data-pad into her face.

"He didn't lie when he said he fought Vahylde's horde," Skoleif added as Eldul watched the clip. "The boy's blade work isn't like anything we've seen before."

"You think I'm afraid of his little dance?!" Eldul barked a laugh and pushed the data-pad away from her face, "I've fought eldars before, he isn't anywhere near as good."

"Those eldars underestimate you," Skoleif gesture at the grinning Tangmo. "I don't think he does."

"What are you implying, my dear little sister?" Eldul closed her distant with Skoleif, the huskarls shrinking away from the elskerinne's enraged lupine snarl. "Are you saying that I can't beat him?!"

"All she's saying is that you need to be careful…"

"Nope, Skoleif totally said you suck dude," Tangmo cut in before Astrid can finish speaking, smiling like an absolute dick. "I mean, she's not wrong, there's no way in hell you can beat me."

The elskerinne fumed at those prodding words, but to Tangmo's disappointment the woman didn't fly into a Viking rage and blindly charged him. With an amazing feat of control, Eldul pushed Astrid and Skoleif gently aside and sauntered up to Tangmo, her gait unhurried, shield and spear slacked in her hands.

"I know what you're doing," Eldul said easily. "Beije tried the same thing with the insults, and look where that got him."

"Ouch, that actually sting a bit," Tangmo grimaced then wai Eldul. "Sorry, that was a low blow."

"That's a first," Eldul snorted and level her spear. "Well then commissar, let's have a fair, clean fight shall we? Warrior to warrior."

"Isn't there any way we can talk this out?" Tangmo made his last attempt to avoid bloodshed, "because I don't want to fight you."

"You did not show such restrain when you slay those berserkers," Eldul started circling him, patient and calm like a wolf analyzing her prey, so Tangmo responded by moving with the lithe gait of a tiger preparing for a fight. "They were our kinswomen, just so you know."

"Oh yeah, I kinda figure that out," Tangmo twirled his swords in a krabi-krabong pattern, Eldul eyed the movement warily. "But they're the enemies, you're not."

"You're not talking yourself out of this," Eldul lunged suddenly, a transparent move that wasn't meant to harm, but goad a response. Tangmo leapt back easily and countered with a quick sequence of fancy stabs and slashes that were more showmanship than lethal, forcing Eldul back.

"Last chance Eldul," Tangmo got into a battle stance, both swords held up at the ready. "Back off, or I'm gonna kick your ass."

"I'm going to enjoy breaking you," Eldul's smile promised nothing but gleeful violence. So be it then. Time to show the Vikings bolter bitches how commissar Tangmo kick some…

"TANGMO! WE GOT A BIG FUCKING EMERGENCY DUDE!"

"JESUS FUCK!" Tangmo sprang sideway and stumbled to the ground, Henry's shout was like a sledgehammer smashing into his eardrums.

"What in the fuck bro!" Tangmo yelled back, the painful ringing in his ears subsiding slowly.

"Something really bad is happening at the mine dude!" Henry went on quickly, wind buffeting his enunciation. "I'm taking the armor battalion there right fucking now!"

"Wait! Fucking stop!" Tangmo held his hands out to Eldul who was about to jump him, the urgency on his face must have been really stark because it stunned the elskerinne into immobility. Tangmo nodded his thank then sheathed the broadsword and slid the geom into his belt, the gesture confusing the excitable crowd. "Okay dude, talk to me, slowly, what is going on at the Black Stone mine?"

"Screaming dude, it's all over every miner's frequency," Henry said calmly, "my guess? Whatever is down there is awake."

"Oh that is just fucking great!" Tangmo bellowed and kicked the snow at his feet vehemently. "So what are we dealing with? Chaos daemons? Necrons?"

"I don't know, but Tyra and a squadron of Valkyries should be flying over the mine right about now," Henry said. "Check in with her."

"Astrid, give me back my shit!" Tangmo waved at the huskarl, who tossed the data-pad back to him. "Thank you. Everybody, this is not a drill, gather around me right fucking now!"

Laura, Yuki, Erik and Leilatha were the first to join him, followed closely by the colonels and the eldars. The Sororitas on the other hand, took their sweet time strolling up to him like a bunch of divas, all for the better, because he needed time to get the projection ready.

"Okay, here we go," Tangmo held the data-pad in his palm, the screen facing upward as a circular hologram materialized above the main characters. He quickly waved the Frost Bringers over. "Come on, this concern all of you too."

Astrid was the first to join him, prompting Skoleif, the huskarls and finally the reluctant Eldul herself to enter the growing huddle. The Valhallan and Tallarn prisoners and their commissars were shoved to the front so they would get the best view.

"Tyra, what's happening?" Tangmo said as the black static of the hologram stuttered then turned into a live stream of the Valkyrie's flight path from bird's-eye view, the landscape of snowcapped mountains and trees flying by quickly.

"I'm approaching the mine right now, visual contact in three seconds," roads were appearing on the hologram, then the ant-like river of fleeing humanity punctured by speeding jeeps, trucks and tractors. Then the pit came into view. "…Emperor saves us all."

"Please tell me those are not fucking Tyranids," Tangmo knew he wouldn't like the answer as Tyra circled the mining pit, giving them an unobstructed view of lithe, monstrous shapes swarming the luckless miners too slow to escape. The altitude was the only thing sparing them from the gory details.

"Yep, those are definitely Tyranids," Yuki deadpanned mirthlessly.

"Fuck."