The Multiverse Project: Warhammer 40,000

How in the fuck was he supposed to fight fucking Titans? And not just any average run of the mill Titans either, oh no, that would make things too easy for them, nope, it had to be fucking Imperator Battle Titans, all twenty of them! Jesus fucking Christ, Tangmo kinda knew they were gonna go up against the kaiju size robots sooner or later, but holy shit, seriously, what was he supposed to do?! The only silver lining about this entire shit show was that at least the Titans were pretty far away for the moment, which put the battlegroup defensive line, and the city Eyvtalien, out of range of their big ass laser guns. Not much of a consolation though, because slowly but surely the Titans loomed closer, the horizon dominated by the hulking monstrosities of metals and sorceries, drawing nearer with every passing minute, the ground quaking to their thunderous footfalls, the reverberating war horns roared boisterously, announcing doom and death. Add an Akira Ifukube's soundtrack and the scene would be perfect.

"Any ideas?" Tangmo turned to Henry, the American as gobsmacked as the Thai. Around them the soldiers and tanks were falling into positions and making final check on their weapons, the clicks, the clangs and the hums of priming ordnances echoed pleasantly down the impeccable, Krieg made trenches.

"Welp, we could try artillery bombardment and air strike, but nothing's getting through the fucking void shields," Henry groaned and tapped his earbud. Scary as the Titans might be, the more immediate concern was the fuck huge army creeping toward them under the war machine's shadows, the pace sedated, a mixture of traitors, heretics and daemons. "Ae-Shin, did you guys get a better look at the Titans? Found anything interesting?"

"Yes lord general, but I don't think you're gonna like it," Ae-Shin said. "The twenty Titans are arrayed into four ranks of fives, marching in a tight phalanx and are sharing the void shields. Meaning that if they keep in formation, nothing we throw at them will be able to get through, each machines contributing to the overall power of the void shield while also sharing the stress of the damage inflicted. It's either we break the phalanx or kill all of them in one go, and I don't see how any of those options can be achieve."

"Those fuckers are pretty far away for the moment, we'll think of something eventually," not the most sound tactical decision, Tangmo admitted, but they have a lot on their plate right now. "In the meantime, you and your friends stay clear of any anti air batteries. Don't get shot down again Ae-Shin, we're gonna need a lot of air support in the coming minutes."

"Of course, lord commissar," Ae-Shin huffed. "And that time on Yomi doesn't count!"

"Whatever you say dude," Tangmo rolled his eyes and those within earshot snickered. Good to see that literal daemon powered death machines have no effect on the battlegroup's morale what so ever. "By the way, is the air space above the refugee camp and the city clear?"

"Like a summer sky after the storm," Ae-Shin told him.

"Hey yo, should we start the evacuation now?" Tangmo turned to Henry.

"Better now than later, especially since the Titans are not in effective range yet," Henry nodded then tapped his earbud. "Tyra, do you read? Is the Immortal Spirit ready to take in the Solace Sun civilians? Have the facilities been prepped?"

"All ready sir," Tyra made the confirmation. "Are we clear to go down?"

"You are," Henry said. "Ae-Shin, until further notice I need you to provide escort for Tyra's relief force. We need to save as many people as we can, the fate of the galaxy and the survival of Isha herself depends on what we're about to do. Go for broke dudes, we leave no one behind!"

"Loud and clear lord general!" Was Tyra's perky Aussie accented reply, the chirpiness putting a smile on Tangmo and Henry's faces. "Victoria, tell your pop and auntie to start up the engine, we're going in!"

"I'll make sure Tangmo's first girlfriend stay alive then," Ae-Shin added insidiously and Tangmo can feel Leilatha's glare boring into his back. "Is she your first though?"

"Ae-Shin I swear to God!" Tangmo warned her.

"Alright, alright, wouldn't want Leilatha to chew your head off," Ae-Shin droned before cutting the transmission.

"You're not gonna bite my head off, are you?" Tangmo turned to Leilatha, who was standing next to him.

"No, even though the idea have many merits," Leilatha grinned as Celalira, supported by Fanduin, limped up to join them on the fire step of the trench.

"Thank you," Celalira bowed, so genuine in her gratitude that even Tangmo was surprised. "For your help, you do us great honor. The Solace Sun are forever in your debt."

"You can thank me when we, you know, actually get out of this in one piece. But yeah, you're welcome, just looking to make the universe a less shitty place."

"Movements on no man's land, a contingent of horsemen approaches, they're bearing a white flag!"

Lingxin shouted and Tangmo couldn't believe what he'd just heard. A white flag? In 40k? What the fuck?! And holy shit, a buncha dumb fucks on horseback, resplendent in shinny uniforms, regimental flags of the three traitor regiments fluttered proudly next to the white parley banner, were actually coming toward the battlegroup, their horses prancing easily over the desolation. They reined their mounts to a stop at around the three hundred yards mark, well within sniper range.

"Ah, I remember when war was fought with civility, a contest of gentlemen with rules and courtesy, polite in victory and defeat," Henry droned with mocking wistfulness as the lead rider, a strapping looking dude with a bushy bread, clad in Napoleonic blue, raised a needlessly complicated looking megaphone to his mouth. "Good thing we're not that stupid anymore."

"May the Beast in Black and the Lord of Tanks come forth!" The man said, all lordly like, drawing blank confusion from the battlegroup.

"…What the hell is that retard saying?" Tangmo was as perplexed as Henry, both their faces scrunched up. "Did the dumbass got us confused with another warband or some shit?"

"We ask that lord commissar Tangmo, the Beast in Black, and lord general Henry, the Lord of Tanks, to come forward so we can discuss the term of engagement," the man repeated crisply, his timbre fit for a parade ground, this time the battlegroup answered him with a silent so absolute that you could hear a pin drop.

"…The Beast in Black," Tangmo deadpanned, eyes locked with the dumbstruck Henry.

"…The Lord of Tanks," was Henry equally monotone response, and heartbeats passed with neither of them uttering a sound. Then, when the silence was just reaching its most uncomfortable limit, Tangmo and Henry burst out laughing, mad and boisterous.

"Holy fucking shit! Yo! I'm the motherfucking Lord of Tanks y'all!" Henry jumped up and down the fire step to raucous hollering of the guardsmen and battlegroup eldars, his fists pumping like he'd just beaten the Undertaker at WrestleMania. "Yeah! Joakim Broden ain't got shit on me! I'm the real tank man!"

"I'm gonna be getting a cease and desist from Anton Kabanen, but I don't give a fuck! This is awesome! Beast in Black baby, yeah!" Tangmo was running up and down the trench, whooping loudly as he high fived the main characters, all of them returning his hypeness with rowdy enthusiasm. Even Hildebrandt joined in, but it was super mechanical. "Woo! Fuck yeah motherfucker! Yeah, bitches! Yeah! Yeah…wait a minute, what the hell were we doing again?"

"The enemy forces want to parley," Leilatha rolled her eyes with a groan.

"Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that," Tangmo chuckled then tapped his earbud. "Hey Korri, shoot the fucker please."

"I'll do you one better sir!" Korri was scarily perky with her reply. The pompous lord was about to speak again when a brilliant red beam shot out from one of the still intact buildings behind them, the light curving as it lanced through the sky and struck the asshole in the face. "As Ranger Erik and exarch Nikki like to say, boom headshot!"

"Oh my fucking God, you vaporized his head!" Tangmo and the trenches erupted in laughter as the Saigner Aube lord flew off the saddle, arms pinwheeling as his headless body tried to right itself. Horses neighed violently and the escorts looked around in shock. "Damn that was freaking hilarious. Hey snipers, there's still plenty of targets over yonder, take them out please."

More blinding lasbolts, bright and powerful, tore the retinue apart, the concentrated and hyper accurate salvo reduced the riders and their horses to shredded gibs, barely anything remained of the sanctimonious morons trying to act high and mighty in the face of slaughter.

"Well, that concludes a very successful negotiation," Tangmo grinned as violent clamor rose from the Chaos army, situated on the eastern outskirt of the city, the same place where Syrathel had launched her initial assault. It took a moment for Tangmo to recognize the sound. "Wait, hold the fuck up, are they…?"

"Sum bitches are booing us!" Henry blurted, mouth agape, unbelieving of the shit he was seeing and hearing. "They're booing us?! A buncha motherfucking daemon cultist who worship treachery, disease, wholesale slaughter and rape and torture are booing us because we popped some self-righteous fuckers who thought this was the Napoleonic War?! Get fucked dickhead!"

"Cry harder you fucking bitches! Fuck you!" Tangmo flipped off the rising admonition and spun at the battlegroup, throwing his arms into the air. "Yo! Let's show those motherfuckers what we think about them! Tear the fucking house down! Cheer motherfuckers, cheer!"

And cheered they did. It was like a reverse Christmas Truce of 1914, for instead of the two sides singing Silent Night and coming to term with the horrors of war with a live and let live attitude, the Imperial and eldars were throwing every insult known to human and elf-kind at the Chaos forces in an epic verbal slugfest, one side booing and one side cheering. Tangmo was very pleased when it became obvious that the battlegroup was hollering louder than the heretics. The shouting was reaching its zenith when grotesque roars resounded across the horizon, drowning out the din as the Chaos forces surged forward, some careening across no man's land like a tidal wave while most maintained ranks and files, black clouds rising from the war machines keeping pace with the infantries.

"Well, they're beyond pissed, I'll tell you that much," Henry snickered and loaded a 40mm grenade into the launcher attachment under the barrel of his lasgun.

"I'm terribly sorry for hurting their feelings," Tangmo made an exaggerated sad face, earning snickers from the main characters, before becoming solemn, his eyes swept across the defensive line. "Think we got everything covered?"

"It has to be," Henry draped the lasgun over the sandbag topping the rim of the trench, finger eased over the trigger, and Tangmo nodded the affirmative before assuming the same position. If anything though, their battle line looked pretty damn good. Piss poor as the Aeldari's trenches were, it still provided enough groundwork for the Kriegs to swiftly turn the place into a credible defense. Now, a battlement about forty kilometer long stretched from north to south, covering all the major eastern approaches into Eyvtalien, an impressive network of trenches and pillboxes filled to the brim with guardsmen and eldars backed up by tanks and mortar batteries. Deeper inside the city itself, where the Chaos forces had been evicted, the rear elements of the battlegroup were hunkered inside a great plaza situated between the two rivers, now occupied by Anguirus howitzers and Charon mobile artilleries, their barrels trained on the approaching Chaos army, complemented by six Black Stone Pillars that safeguard Eyvtalien from daemonic infiltration. So far, the Chaos forces were concentrated on the east, and Tangmo prayed that the dumbasses remained stereotypically stupid and keep attacking his position.

"Steady boys and girls, steady! This is nothing new to us, steady!" Tangmo bellowed down the line, the officers repeating his command. "Don't fire until I say so, wait until they're in optimal range!"

"All armor units take aim at the large beasts and vehicles," Henry added with a grimace, and Tangmo shared the sentiment. Besides the lesser daemons bounding blindly toward them and the traitor regiments marching in tight formation, the Chaos army now sported hellish looking Leman Russes decked out in spikes and corpses, and lumbering monstrosities of the Khornate and Nurglite persuasion, studded with weapons and machineries that enhanced their already formidable girth.

"Make ready! Hold!" Tangmo shouted and everyone collectively held their breaths, muscles wind up for the explosive release to come. "Hold! Do not – oi!"

Splutters of shuriken started flying, coming in weak, uncoordinated bursts. Tearing his gaze away from the nearing monstrous vanguard, Tangmo growled when he saw that the Solace Sun eldars, their nerves already frayed, were firing prematurely.

"Celalira, you better tell your people to unfuck themselves or God Emperor as my witness, I'm gonna kill them!" Tangmo told the Farseer, who glared darkly at him but nevertheless tapped her earbud and relayed her command. The firing stop and once again the trench were silent.

"Steady…steady…steady!" Holy shit they were so close now, the canid daemons at the forefront were so vivid that Tangmo can make out the mouths, the eyeballs, and the foaming, dripping saliva. Out of the corner of his eyes Tangmo saw Krillen giving him an anxious look, wanting nothing more than to open fire on the daemons, but his discipline held that impulse at bay. Welp, they're nice and close now, might as well. "FUCK THEM UP!"

The trenches erupted in a massive blinding salvo, a tsunami of lasers that slammed into the daemons, cutting many to scorching gibs and outright flattening others, the furious baying from before cracking into pained yips. Tangmo's eyes were just adjusting to the strobing firefight when the pillboxes, Wraithguards and Chimeras added another brutal layer of autocannons, lascannons, pulse cannons, shuriken cannons and heavy bolters to the barrage.

"Don't let up, keep at it! Get some! Get some!" Henry went full auto on the wall of flesh trying, and failing, to break through the defenders overwhelming fusillade. The unrelenting storm of lasers, plasmas and bullets was so powerful and merciless that the daemon's formation, if you could even call it that, was torn apart to reveal the column of tanks rumbling behind them. "Oh shit! They got fucking Griffon Mortar Carriers and Medusa Siege Guns with them! Fuck! They're firing at us! Hit the deck!"

Good thing the charging daemon fodders were taken care of, because that gave the battlegroup and the Solace Sun eldars the chance to duck under the fire steps, heads held low as pops and shrieks of heavy ordnances resounded across no man's land, white trails of unleashed shells streaked through the sky. Tangmo, like the Kriegs, didn't moved from his spot on the fire steps, because honestly what's that gonna do? Instead, he shot the crouching Fanduin and Celalira a bored look and stabbed his thumb upward.

"Yeah, mind helping us a bit?" Tangmo said nonchalantly, hiding the fact that he was internally squealing like a little girl. "As in, can you maybe use your eldar magic to make a shield, maybe?"

"Oh! Yes, of course!" Fanduin sprang up with Celalira. "That should be easy, right my love?"

"Verily," Celalira nodded and, with Fanduin, raised her hands to sky. Along the trenches other Warlocks and Farseers were joining in, bright incandescent light enveloped them. Pillars of radiant bluish white beamed into the heaven before blooming outward into a dome that covered most of the battlegroup's forward most defenses, the translucent surface rippled as if seeing the world from underwater. Then, to Tangmo's surprise, more rays of cascading gold rose up and added another gleaming stratum to the dome, the hues merging into a pleasant, mesmerizing pattern. It was the monks and priests of the Imperium, chanting loudly from the scriptures held in their hands, singing and shouting hymns and praises to the God Emperor, adding His blessing to the energy shield. Holy shit, who would've thought eldar magic and Imperium faith power can coexist and help each other? But can it withstand a direct bombardment though? Tangmo let out a sigh of relief when yes, the super magic shield held, the pounding shells exploded harmlessly across the watery surface, nothing but violent vibration reached them. Guardsmen and Aeldari brandished their weapons high and cheered raucously as the shelling rolled ineffectively off the shield. Well, mostly ineffective anyway, because some shells struck the shield, didn't blew up, clattered down the dome, then exploded amongst the vehicles, gutting a few Falcons and flipping over several King Russes.

"…Is that shit skill or luck?" Henry made an incredulous face as a Fire Prism cartwheeled into a Chimera.

"Luck all the fucking way," Tangmo growled and tapped the data-pad on his arm, fingers dancing furiously over the screen. "Two can play at this game asshole. Yo Vakon, I'm sending you the coordinate for the Chaos's mobile artilleries, kill them please."

"With pleasure sir! Batteries one through six, sustain salvo, standard shells, fire for effect!" Vakon bellowed and not a heartbeat later the thunderous boom of Charon and Anguirus guns resounded from the city. Through the murky shield, Tangmo saw the counter bombardment tore into the slow ass, out of date artillery platforms, the battlegroup's accurate and powerful shells making short work of them as pillars of fire erupted across no man's land. Not a moment after the Griffon and Medusa guns were destroyed, the eldar shield wavered then broke apart.

"Alrighty boys and girls, you can stop hiding now! The mean, scary bombs won't bother you no more, time to return the fucking favor!" Tangmo held down the trigger and send a full auto burst at the daemons and cultists that had gotten close during the bombardment. Beside him Fanduin and Celalira were leaning on the trench wall, the Farseer breathing more heavily than the Warlock. "Thanks for the assist dude, top job. Here, take a few sips and lie back a bit, we should be alright for a while."

"You are welcome, lord commissar," Celalira took the proffered canteen and drank heartily, totally enjoying the mineral water, before handing it back to him. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," Tangmo changed the setting of his lasgun to semi-auto, aimed down the optic sight, and took out targets that were more stubborn or risky looking. Decapitating a skaven Grey Seer with a well place lasbolt to the cranium, Tangmo was picking another target when he paused, then groaned, "oh you gotta be shitting me, hey Henry, you seeing this?"

"You mean the Chaos psykers being drag toward us?" Henry deadpanned. "Or are you referring to the Baneblade size abominations making it slow ominous approach, or the traitor regiments and their mechanized supports?"

"All of the above," Tangmo grunted, gunned down a group of frothing mad cultists, and took a moment to evaluate the threat they now faced. First were the Chaos sorcerers and sorceresses, and as expected from one of the most fucked up factions in the known multiverse, they weren't exactly clad in silk, gold or gilded armor. Instead, they were in various stages of mutilation and desecration, either being dragged along by spiked chains while getting whipped mercilessly, crucified to gigantic crosses or daggling from gallows on moving platforms covered in viscera, barbed hooks piercing their wasted skins. All of them were screaming in agony, the ambience of their torment amplified by the Siren Heads matching steps beside the tortured psykers. The next group was comprised of twisted creatures birthed by the foul power of the Warp. Ugly ass bastards, big and hulking, made for the sole purpose of war. Insectoid, reptilian, mammalian, or a twisted mixture of the three, the Chaos war beasts looked ready to fuck some shit up. The creatures appeared to be skaven made though, if the stitches and grotesque randomness was anything to go by, so killing them should be easy. Then finally, there's the traitor regiments and their armored units, nothing new really, the battlegroup fought them enough time to know what to expect.

"I'm all ears man, how do we proceed?" Tangmo lowered his lasgun, waited a few minutes for the barrel to stop glowing before sliding the Type 60 wakizashi bayonet on top. Motherfuckers were getting a little too close for comfort.

"Welp, Ae-Shin and the air force can take care of the traitor guardsmen," Henry said and fired a grenade at a group of orangutan looking daemons, long forelimbs carrying them easily over the pockmarked ground, their flapping dislocated jaws leering and cackling dementedly. One of the apes swallowed the grenade, and Tangmo and Henry laughed when the dumbass made a surprised face before its head was blown to pieces, killing three others around it. "Nice! Anyway, I'm thinking about having the artillery rain a suppressing barrage on the others, slow the fuckers down, then have the tanks target the psykers. Their magic is already faltering, thanks to the Black Stone pillars, but they're still the biggest threat right now."

"I agree, the monsters look fleshy enough, I think the heavy guns can cut them down," Tangmo nodded, very much liking Henry's plan. "Just leave some of the tanks on standby, in case those big motherfuckers prove too much to handle."

"Copy that," Henry tapped his earbud and relayed the plan, several seconds later the tanks smoothly turned their barrels toward the rolling platforms carrying the psykers. The artilleries went silent for a few heartbeats as they recalibrated their targets before the barrage resumed, angry roars erupted across no man's land as the falling shells pummeled the war beasts. Fuckers barely slowed down though, but it was obvious they were hurting. Henry watched the carnage through his binocular, his expression blank despite the well-executed defense. "Hey man, I just remember something."

"Yeah?" Tangmo already didn't like his tone.

"Where are the fucking Chaos Marines and the Chaos Eldars?" Henry inquired, heavy and serious. "I mean, I know those fuckers are here, shit, we just fought the evil elf an hour ago. Now they're gone and the Chaos mofos are throwing the same old shit at us."

"Either waiting or trying to pincer our asses," Tangmo replied grimly then tapped his earbud. "Ae-Shin, I need confirmation that our flanks are secure, how many sweeps have the air force made?"

"Including the one I just led, twelve," Ae-Shin said, "and we've picked up nothing. This is confirmed by the satellite images taken by the Titancrafts after you told them to go into high orbit when the Titans showed up. We also check every spectrum for any infiltration attempt or anomaly in real space, we've found nothing."

"Top job Ae-Shin, but keep up with the sweep," Tangmo went on. "I would hate if something surprising happens."

"You and me both," Ae-Shin agreed. "Stay safe sir."

"You too," Tangmo was cutting transmission when lightning wreathed fireballs, scores of them, landed around the trenches, the burning orbs bounced across the ground like cannonballs, immolating those too slow to duck and consuming Vypers and Myrmidon in a blink, "Jesus fucking Christ what the fuck?! Put those fires out! Corpsmen! We need corpsmen over here right fucking now!"

"The psykers are attacking," Leilatha growled as the infantries shifted their attentions to the wheeled platforms. "Send them back to the Warp! All weapons free, open fire!"

"Leilatha, I love you, but belay that order!" Tangmo shouted loudly across the infantry's communication channels, grinning meekly at Leilatha's narrowing look. "Keep your fire concentrated on the abominations, cultists and traitor guardsmen, the tanks are taking care of the psykers, do not let the fodders get close to the trench, drive them back! Korri, come in, do you read me?!"

"What do you need sir?" Korri asked, upbeat as always.

"Have the snipers take out the psykers," Tangmo said quickly, "wait until the tanks pound the hell out of their shields then headshots those fuckers."

"Ask and you shall receive lord commissar," Korri told him firmly. "I'll pass on the words sir, you can count on us."

"I know you won't disappoint," Tangmo cut the transmission and, after taking a few seconds to aim, shot at a grenade about to be hurled by a frothing cultist, the resulting explosion tore the fucker to shreds and decapitated two of his buddies. "Oh yeah, I'm awesome."

"I'll admit, that is a good strategy, but," Leilatha aimed down the iron sight of her bolt pistol, looking absolutely dashing, and pulled the trigger. Tangmo's eyes popped out of his skull when the bolt cut through four traitor Antebellan soldiers, tearing and igniting the magazine pouches on their belts, creating a beautiful chain explosion that kill several dozen people. "Your shooting still need some work."

"Now why did you have to go and flex on me like that?" Tangmo didn't mind it at all though, because that was totally badass. "But because that shit was super hot, I forgive you."

"Brace yourselves, we're about to open fire!" Ladaee said over the intercom and everyone in the trench ducked behind the rim, some clamping their ears shut, teeth gritted in rictus anticipation. "On my marks! Big volleys ladies and gentlemen, all together now! Three…two…!"

Tangmo was ready for it, but holy shit the concussive, all encompassing bang actually made him dizzy. Bracing himself on the trench wall, and trying his damndest to ford through the acoustic induced vertigo, the ringing in Tangmo's ears was starting to recede when another volley went off, earth and sky shattering from the cacophonic discharge. Thankfully, his eardrums had adjusted, leaving Tangmo to enjoy the view. Eldritch kaleidoscopic aurora bled into the sky as tank shells hammered the psykers' shields, corporeality distorted from the bombastic impacts as cracks snaked across the pulsing, translucent barriers. But Tangmo didn't look away like Leilatha and Henry, because he saw that, thanks to the timed, and brutally accurate, salvo from the King Ghidorah, the Macharius and the King Russes, the sorcerous shields were surely yielding. Come on, just a few more shots and – yes! Tangmo let out a triumphant cry when, the destruction synchronized down to the seconds, the foul barriers of the Chaos psykers collapsed as one, transparent shards veined with sickly purple clattered to the ground before disintegrating into glittering dust. Inhuman howls of depthless, unending agony rolled across the battlefield, the gale tangible as it blew over the battlegroup, reeking of decay and blood.

"Motherfuck!" Tangmo ducked below the rim, spiting dust and rubbing detritus from his eyes when the daemonic wailing dropped by an octave, then another, and another, like candles getting snuffed out by a douter. Springing back up, Tangmo managed to catch the last psyker, a woman with a hundred blinking eyes on her brow and elongated ribcages spreading out of her back, bleeding tatter flaps of skin fluttering like wings, getting her head blown to bits by about seven lasbolts that struck her skull at the same time. "Holy fucking shit, amazing shots my beautiful snipers!"

"Thank the Throne we killed those bastards before they got too close," Henry muttered and Tangmo grunted in agreement, because instead of simply dropping to the ground like a corpse should, the psykers needed to be extravagantly grotesque in death too.

"See, I've seen a lot of fucked up shit in my life, including the Human Centipede, but this shit take the cake, goddamn," Tangmo couldn't blame Lingxin and Al-Rahman for turning away, gagging and holding back their breakfasts with herculean effort when one of the corpse bloated to impossible size before exploding, sending acidic viscera flying in all direction, melting everything it touches. Not far away a fleshy pillar of writhing, slimy white maggots the size of Golden Retriever churned higher and higher into the sky, bursting from where a psyker's head used to be, the fountaining larvae possessing a very human voice as they flopped to the ground, some burst in blooms of gore, others savagely attacked anything within reach. And to Tangmo's immediate left a psyker woman was elongating into a gargantuan tree of bleeding, gnarled flesh and sinews, her face yawning so wide that it took up the entire top half of the bark. "Damn, that bitch just went total Egwene dude."

"Too bad it's not a tower of crystal, instead we got…this Lovecraftian nightmare," Henry cringed then tapped his earbud. "Vakon, we neutralized the psykers, but they left a massive mess behind, clean it up please. And when I mean clean, I mean bombed the living hell out of them, for at least five minutes."

"You got it sir," the bombardment began a few seconds later, and Vakon was considerate enough to use high explosive shells, blasting any remnant of the psykers to charcoal dust. The heretics and daemons themselves didn't fare any better. Stunned by the macabre demise of their sorcerous comrades, they were unable to orient themselves quick enough and were subsequently send flying into the stratosphere in smoking, bloody gibs. During all of this the soldiers inside the trench continued to fire on the Chaos forces, the storm of las, bolts, shurikens, plasma and meltas becoming more and more one sided until, ten minutes after the bombardment ended, a cease fire was called. The smoke and haze didn't take long to lift, revealing a field littered with sizzling, twisted bodies, frozen in their last terrible moment of life. The Solace Sun eldars cheered, this was probably their first victory in a while, but the battlegroup didn't join in as they checked ammos, tended the wounded, and cooled down the heavy weapons.

"Alright people, shut the hell up!" Tangmo slammed a new magazine home as he swept his hard commissariat gaze at the Solace Sun eldars, killing the celebration and turning it into snooty grumblings. "That wasn't even one third of them, check your guns and ammos, get ready for another wave, which is already starting by the way."

"With all due respect, lord commissar, but we of the Solace Sun had warred with the Ruinous power long before you were born," Celalira snapped at him, ignoring Fanduin attempt at placation. Tangmo was starting to regret giving the Farseer his healing shot now. "So I suggest you spare us the lecture on topics we know several lifetimes above you."

"Oh, spare me you hoity-toity bitch!" Tangmo shot back and waved at another horde of lesser daemons and cultists coming at them, ignoring Celalira's indignant gasp, "how's your thousand years of experience treating you now?!"

"You dirty, arrogant piece of…!"

Before Celalira can finish calling Tangmo a piece of shit, five powerful dark red laser beams, so big that the radiating heat struck him like a fistful of hissing steam, lanced over the trenches and into Eyvtalien. As wrecked as the city was, many of the skyscrapers were still standing. Now, twelve of those monoliths were obliterated by the Titans' Hellstorm cannons, irons, glasses and bricks careened to the ground in a great cacophony of flame and dust. The lasers continued their trajectory even after the Titans stopped firing, streaming into the horizon.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Tangmo articulated calmly as he tapped his earbud. "Tyra! Tyra you there?! Holy fuck, did you see that shit?!"

"I wish I fucking didn't!" Tangmo breathe a sigh of relief when the spunky pilot answered him. He flashed Orhul a quick thumbs up and the heavy gunner captain relaxed visibly, almost sinking into the trench wall. "We were coming back down from the Immortal Spirit when the Titans opened fire, holy shite the bloody air is on fire, what the hell?!"

"Do you have visual on the refugee camp?" Tangmo pressed on. "Is it still there?"

"The refugee camp is untouched, lord commissar."

"By the Throne, look at that!"

"Crikey, that's bright!"

Tyra and Victoria bantered heralded a powerful quake that send boxes and stones dancing epileptically off the ground.

"Sweet, Jesus Christ on a pogo stick what in the fuck just happened?!" Tangmo blurted, holy shit the rumble was so bad that the few remaining skyscrapers started to sway. It wasn't until several minutes passed that the quake subsided.

"Well sir, let's just say there used to be a mountain range to the west. It ain't there anymore, I can tell you that much," Tyra said fearfully. "Fucking hell, it's nothing but a burning crater now."

"I'm just glad it missed you guys, stay safe Tyra," Tangmo exchanged a resigned look with an equally bummed out Henry. "So, umm…you got any plan cooked up yet?"

"Actually, I kinda do," Henry didn't look too confident. "I guess it's better than nothing, considering our less than auspicious circumstance."

"I'm all ears dude," Tangmo shrugged good naturedly and the main characters edged closer around Henry, "but you might want to hurry the fuck up, because I think those fuckers are charging up their guns again."

"Alright, cool," Henry flexed his arms a little, like he was warming up for a boxing match. "You remember that movie from 2003 called The Core?"

"Improbable plot, stupid science, tropey cliché characters, the only reason that movie exist was to basically coattail the successes of Armageddon and Deep Impact," Tangmo made his quick review. "I still don't understand how in the fuck they managed to rope Aaron Eckhart, Hilary Swank and Stanley Tucci into that shit show."

"A concise summation, but irrelevant to the point I'm making," Henry continued. "If you recall, the turning point and eventual climax of the movie came when Stanley Tucci scientist character figured out how to get the core of the Earth moving again. He did this by detonating the nukes they brought in a timed sequence around the core, as oppose to one big explosion."

"You want to destroy the Titans combined shield by striking simultaneously at various parts on their phalanx, therefore overloading their power cells and leaving them vulnerable to our counterattack," Tangmo immediately picked up on Henry's plan.

"Exactly dude," Henry grinned.

"Shit bro, that actually sounds pretty freaking awesome," Tangmo chuckled. "But do we have enough firepower to pull this off? This has to be done with aerial attack, right?"

"Not necessary," Henry tapped his earbud. "Vakon, how many Destoroyah artilleries and Garuda missiles batteries do we currently have deployed?"

"We have a total of seven Destoroyah artillery pieces, lord general," Vakon answered the American. "As for the Garuda batteries, we have twenty of those primed and ready."

"What loads are the Garuda batteries carrying right now?" Henry pressed on.

"The highest explosive yield sir, we heard about the Titans and thought it prudent to load the batteries with our most powerful ordnance," Vakon's voice trailed off a bit, almost like a boy waiting to be scolded. "If…that is not what you want, I can order the troops to remove the missiles and replace it with our ordinary payload."

"No dude, you did great, thanks for thinking ahead, it really save us a lot of trouble," Henry said and Tangmo swore he heard Vakon squeaked in delight. "I assume the Destoroyah are similarly armed?"

"Indeed sir," Vakon continued.

"Are they in range of the Titan phalanx?" Henry tapped the data-pad on his armguard. "I'm sending you the latest coordinate right now."

"Give me a second sir," Tangmo, along with the main characters, listened breathlessly. Battle still raged around them, the cultists, daemons and traitors continued to sally forth across no man's land but, as an engagement goes, things were pretty average, with the defenders cutting down the attacker en mass and gunning down the survivors trying to flee. "The Titans are inside the Destoroyah and Garuda's range, shall I tell them to open fire now?"

"I'm sending you the attacking sequence," Henry's fingers danced swiftly over the glowing screen as he turned to Tangmo. "Get Ae-Shin on the line, we need the Titancrafts and the bombers on standby."

"Ae-Shin, do you read, copy?" Tangmo tapped his earbud. "You and the air force still safe?"

"And getting a little bored sir, they haven't tried to reclaim the air space yet," Ae-Shin said. "I'm relieved to hear from you again, when the Titans opened fire I thought you were done for, by the Throne we can see the discharge from space. Glad you're alive and well sir."

"Thanks for the kind words Ae-Shin, but I'm holding my breath on the whole being alive thing," Tangmo chuckled dryly. "Which of the three Titancrafts are with you right now?"

"Two Storm Fortresses and one Sky Breaker," Ae-Shin told him. Of the eighteen Titancrafts, nine were heavy support units like the gunship from Transformer, called the Storm Fortress, and nine belonged to a lighter, faster assault class shaped in the likeness of the Super-X 3 from the 1995 Godzilla film, called the Sky Breaker, "the Gamera, the Lesnar and the Star Platinum."

"What's the condition of their armaments?" Tangmo asked. "Because if they need to go back to the Immortal Spirit and get a refill, then we're kinda fucked down here."

"Not to worry sir, they just got back into orbit, armed to the teeth," Tangmo was pretty damn sure Ae-Shin was smirking on the other end. "Give the word lord commissar and they will rain death upon the Titans."

"Put them on maximum readiness," Tangmo told her. "When I give the green light I want everyone firing from all cylinders, bombers included."

"I wait with bated breath," was Ae-Shin's cheeky reply before terminating the transmission.

"Friendly, isn't she?" Leilatha commented with no small amount of sass, earning quirked eyebrows from the women main characters, all of whom shot Tangmo mischievous looks.

"What can I say, I have that sunny effect on the opposite sex," Tangmo flashed his infamous shit eating grin, the women groaned loudly as he returned his attention to Henry who was finalizing the bombardment sequences with Vakon. "Yo Henry, you all set over there?"

"Yeah, only one last thing remains," Henry tapped his earbud. "Yo Rie, is the Megumi primed and ready?"

"It's been primed and ready for hours!" Rie bellowed across the intercom, Tangmo and Henry wincing from the volume. "Are you going to let me shoot anything yet?!"

"Yes, but you need to time the discharge with the Destoroyah's barrage," Henry pressed a glowing icon on the data-pad. "I'm sending you the details right now, this need to be accurate down to the nanosecond Rie, if not then we're fucking dead."

"Let me see that," Rie was silent for a moment before snorting loudly. "Pfft, that's it?! And here I thought things were gonna actually be complicated. Don't worry general, I'll get it done."

"I know I can count on you Rie," Henry went on. "Oh, by the way, please dial the energy to maximum."

"Your wish is my command!"

Rie was already laughing hysterically as Henry changed the communication channel. "Kaela, Callaway, Richard, I want the Nynaeve, the Undertaker and the Thorin to haul the Megumin to safety after she opened fire."

"Yes sir," came three simultaneous responses.

"Is it just me, or are the Titans training their Hellstorm cannons downward?" At Krix's observation, all eyes turned to the walking cathedrals stalking closer toward the trenches. It took Tangmo several seconds to get his shit together and not freak out, because fuck, despite being about thirty kilometers away, those bastards were still horrifyingly big. And yes, the first ranks of Chaos Titans were lowering their main guns. Tangmo almost shit himself as he stared into those humungous barrels.

"Damn it Krix, why'd you have to make us notice that shit?!" Tangmo chided her half-heartedly and the flamer captain shrugged innocently.

"Well sir, she's not wrong, they are aiming for us this time," and Kenshin had to be an unhelpful dick and stated the fucking obvious.

"Oh yeah? Why don't you banzai charge those fuckers then?!" Tangmo gave the Kuronese his crazy eyes.

"I'm heroic sir, not suicidal," Kenshin said reasonably. "Besides, Lingxin wouldn't very much approve of me behaving so impulsively."

"No, I wouldn't," Lingxin closed her distant with Kenshin, shoulders touching, and Tangmo almost barfed at the sickly sweet scene, made even more diabetic when the guardsmen and eldars 'aww' appreciatively. Goddamn it, he and Leilatha were supposed to be the power couple around here!

"Alright people, everything's ready!" Henry shouted down the trench, his command repeated across every communication channel around Eyvtalien. "Get down! I repeat, everybody hit the deck and don't look at the explosion unless you wanna go blind! And cover your ears this time too, because holy shit, it's gonna be loud! Like, Wacken times a hundred!"

With controlled quickness, the battlegroup and the Solace Sun scrambled down the fire steps and sat their asses flat on the hard, uneven ground. Few even went prone with gritted teeth. Tangmo plopped down on the fire step, his back pressed to the wall, flakes of dust peppering his awesome commissar coat as the Titans' pounding grew louder and nearer. To his right Henry was tapping away on the data-pad, working out a last minute calculation with Vakon, and on his left sat Leilatha, stoic and calm.

"Hold my hand?" Tangmo reached out to Leilatha and grinned prettily, which made the lady commissar baulked. "Too much? Is it the wideness, the teeth or the eyes?"

"All of the above," Leilatha shook her head with clear endearment and grabbed Tangmo's hand, squeezing tightly as the thunderous, simultaneous report of the Destoroyah batteries shattered the air. The ground quaking so badly that he couldn't tell the Titans' footfall from the super artilleries' discharges. "But it's the thought that counts, even if the effort was deplorable."

"I can't tell if you're cheering me up or making me feel bad," Tangmo chuckled.

"It's depends on the perspective," Leilatha shrugged, above them the whistling descends grew more pronounce and piercing.

"This is it people, the bombs are coming down!" Henry bellowed and tried to curl himself into a protective ball like in those airline instruction videos, the data-pad pressed flat to his face. "Rie, do it, do it now! Open fire!"

"You got it!" Rie half squealed half laughed into the intercom. "EXPLOSION!"

"Hey man, do we close our eyes or what?" Tangmo kept his gaze on the ground as the Megumin unleashed the purple energy ball of death.

"Wouldn't hurt I guess," the last thing Tangmo saw before closing his eyes was Henry shrugging, then the world went to hell, tore to pieces by sound and light. Welp, closing his eyes didn't do shit, because the light got so bright that glaring white pieced through his eyelids, and only when he crossed his arms over his face did blessed darkness return. The explosion was more manageable though. Oh sure it was loud, but since they were inside the trench the acoustic tsunami just rolled over them, while the gale of dust muffled it even further. Teeth gritted and eyes scrunched shut, Tangmo waited until his ears stopped ringing and the tectonic rumbles faded before unclenching his muscles. His left hand hurt though, so he glanced down and found Leilatha clutching it tightly, her knuckles white.

"Hey, we're alive," Tangmo gently tapped her hand, causing Leilatha to swiftly extricate herself, red flushed her grimy cheeks.

"Most excellent," Leilatha adjusted her awesome commissar cap, brushed a stray black lock from her face, and smiled warmly. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay, I liked it."

"Holy fucking shit it worked! What the fuck, this is fucking amazing!"

Tangmo followed the happy voice and found Henry jumping up and down like he'd just beaten Floyd Mayweather for the World Heavyweight Championship, uncaring of the light sheen of dust drifting down on them as he screamed into his data-pad, "seventh battery, open fire now!"

A boom echoed from the rear and Tangmo, along with the main characters, climbed on the fire step to watch the Titans, still approaching at the same glacial pace, but with the major heart lifting difference being that the near transparent void shield was no longer presence, the air clear, no simmering outworldly haze to be found, while churning black plumes rose from the back of the war machines. Tangmo was just wondering how in the fuck were they gonna put a dent on the Titans when a shrieking, heavy shape plunged in amongst the phalanx, kicking up gout of wet dirt.

"Yo, what the fuck bro, that shell's a fucking dud…!"

Tangmo squawked like a startled duck when the ground ballooned upward in an ascending avalanche, so powerful was the explosion that it probably rivaled Bangkok's Baiyoke Tower in height as it threw the Titans into the air. He was enjoying the sight when thick clumps of dirt the size of freaking ATV, gooey and muddy in consistence, rained on them, knocking many flat on the ground and burying them under sludges.

"Goddamn it, seriously?!" Tangmo bellowed as he and Leilatha dashed for the trench wall, escaping the worst of the muddy rain. His awesome commissar coat was gonna need a thorough scrubbing after this. "Fuck, do we have visual on the Titans? I'm not feeling any footfall."

"We got them! By the God Emperor, we just took down a horde of Titans!" Al-Rahman yelled brightly as he and Henry embraced, shaking each other with unbridled mirth as cheers rolled down the trench. "Well, not destroy them outright, but we knocked them flat on their backs! Ha, they look like turtle when we flipped them over!"

Oh my God, the Tallarn colonel was right. Imperator Titans, the apex of human weaponry, the Omnissiah's avatar of death, were now sprawled ignominiously on the ground, the mighty Hellstorm cannons swathing aimlessly, the targeting system having gone haywire, the mighty feet that had pounded the tune of the battlegroup's requiem now kicking empty air, trying and failing to get up.

"Ae-Shin! They're down, fuck them up! Fuck them straight to hell!" Tangmo bellowed into his earbuds.

"With pleasure! All units engage, I repeat, engage! Fire everything!" Ae-Shin's crisp command herald the beautiful symphony of jet engines as the sleek Star Platinum burst through the dusty veil, followed by the Gamera, the Lesnar and the bombers squadron. Tangmo was smiling ear to ear as the Star Platinum unleashed an uninterrupted missiles salvo for one minute straight, the rate of fire that of a machine gun, every projectile finding a metallic target, Jin Hashimoto's Stand Proud playing on repeat in his head.

"ORAORAORAORAORAORA!" Tangmo and Henry enunciated the attack, laughing boisterously and hugging each other tight as the Star Platinum flew away and the Gamera and the Lesnar made a revolving circuit around the stricken Titans, all guns blazing while the bombers dived in with their payload. Then the American glared at the Thai.

"You're not allowed to make that reference anymore!" Henry huffed and broke the bro hug. "You don't like anime, you can't make anime references!"

"Dude, I like JoJo," Tangmo grinned as the Anguirus and the Charon added their shells to the bombardment.

"Then how come you don't like Attack on Titan?!" Henry whined desperately.

"Because Attack on Titan sucks and JoJo is awesome, what are you not getting?" Tangmo shrugged then tapped his earbud, ignoring the blistering Henry who looked about ready to throttle him. "Ae-Shin, we need visual on the Titans, are they still functioning?"

"We've dropped everything we got on them, the Titancrafts are returning to the Immortal Spirit for rearmament now," Ae-Shin said. "Can you tell Vakon to ease up on the bombardment? I can't see anything and it's disrupting the sensors."

"Vakon, cease fire," Tangmo said and the artilleries went silent. "Well Ae-Shin, what do you see?"

"They're dead!" Ae-Shin squealed and cheers erupted around them, weapons thrust high as the smokes cleared to reveal the war machines' flaming carcasses, gods brought low by human ingenuity and tenacity. "Sensors detect no life sign. All the Titans have been slain!"

"Bro, that's what's up!" Tangmo roared in exaltation as he and Henry resumed the bro hug, giving each other hearty smacks on the back before breaking off again. "You the man! Your fucking idea saved us dude! Hell fucking yeah!"

"I didn't even think that shit would work, ha!" Henry barked a laugh. "But yes, my genius knows no equal. Bow before me you peon!"

"Hail to the chief, hail to the chief!" Tangmo made an elaborate series of mock prostration while vocalizing the opening note of Hail to the Chief, the American presidential song. After having their fun, Tangmo turned to the celebrating guardsmen and eldars, humans and elves shaking hands and hugging. Like always the Kriegers were stoic and unmoving, so Tangmo waved over Hildebrandt. "Colonel, see to the repairs of the trench. Make sure everyone has plenty of ammo, we're not out of the woods yet."

"At once, Herr commissar," Hildebrandt saluted crisply and led the Death Korps to their task.

"Krillen," Tangmo went to the Cadian colonel next. "Check our casualties and see that the wounded are transport back to the rear."

"Lord commissar."

"Stanislav, check the plasma cells and melta charges. I want the depleted magazines removed and fresh ones brought to the front and repairs be made on any of the heavy guns that overheated."

"Lord commissar…"

"Kenshin, rotate some of the troops."

"Lord commissar Tangmo."

"Lingxin, check in with the flanks and see if they need reinforcement."

"Tangmo…"

"Al-Rahman, check with Zuhra and see if we need more medical supplies."

"TANGMO!"

"Oh hey Ae-Shin, what's up?"

"Another wave is making a push, they're even large than the one before and half of them are tanks. Stop cheering and get your shits together!"

"Everybody shut the fuck up!" Funny how the mood can change from such a simple utterance, one second the battlegroup was ready to pop the champagne, and the next they were waiting for the reaper to bring the scythe down. Muttering a slew of Thai curses under his breath, Tangmo fished the binocular from his awesome commissar coat, pressed it over his eyes, and squawked. "What in the fuck?! Everybody back in position! Prepare for blood, they're making another the push!"

"They're coming at us right after we killed the Titans?!" Kenshin was as flabbergasted as Tangmo.

"Yeah, and here I thought they would at least freak out for a minute or two," Tangmo lowered his binocular with a growl. What in the fuck? Chaos cultists and traitors were craven cowards at the best of time and mindless drones at worse, which made them extremely susceptible to massive mood swing, especially when they got their asses massively kicked. Why these lots were energized, Tangmo didn't know. "Whatever, we'll beat those sons of bitches back like the last time…"

"God Emperor's mercy!" Tyra's voiced erupted across the intercom, and shit, she sounded very distraught. "South! Another massive column is coming in from the south! By the Throne, it's an army of them heading straight for your flank!"

"Damn it all, she's right," Ae-Shin growled. The heavy silence that followed was not the least bit reassuring. When she spoke again, her timbre was grim. "Sir, it's not traitor guardsmen and fodders closing in from the south. Preliminary scan reveal that this attacking force is comprised of Chaos Astartes, Chaos Aeldari and Greater Daemons, they're going for the kill."

"How large is the southern force?" Henry now asked.

"Not as big as the one from the east, but that hardly matters, the elites are coming in from the south," Ae-Shin went on. "Sir, if I may suggest a course of action, I believe you should withdraw into the city. Given how large the enemy forces are, encirclement appears inevitable, but a more compact defense within an urban area should be able to break their advance. And with the field clear around Eyvtalien, the air force can provide a more extensive bombardment…"

"Mate, I think I need the air force more than the commissar," Tyra cut in. "I'm detecting six atmospheric beasts heading straight for the refugee camp, accompanied by Chaos jets and Heldrakes, a lot of jets and Heldrakes. The anti-aircraft batteries will not be enough to hold them back."

"…Shit," Ae-Shin's curse reflected Tangmo's sentiment perfectly. "Lord commissar, lord general, what are your orders?"

Tangmo and Henry huddled together, eyes fixed on the American's glowing data-pad, the holographic map confirmed what Tyra and Ae-Shin had said. The Chaos forces were coming at them from the east and the south, the numbers overwhelming, while hostile squadron was heading for the noncombatants.

"The Destoroyah are overheated, but we still have plenty of Garuda missiles," Henry said before Tangmo can ask. "And the Anguirus and Charons just receive the latest sky drop, they have plenty of shells. Also, our tanks are not short on ammo."

"And the city looks very defensible," Tangmo nodded, "into the city then?"

"Into the city," Henry nodded, "time to Faramir the fuck up."

"All units, fall back to the secondary defenses, total withdraw, get the wounded to the middle island with the artilleries pieces," Tangmo tapped his earbuds and the main characters repeated his command. Immediately, wounded on stretchers were loaded onto Myrmidon Humvees, Chimeras and Falcons, the transports kicking up dust as they sped into Eyvtalien while the King Ghidorah, Macharius, King Russes and Fire Prisms unleashed a covering salvo at the nearing fodders from the east. He then turned to Leilatha. "I need you to organize the urban defenses while I hold them here."

"I'll see you later then," Leilatha nodded, the small smile on her lips warm and meaningful, and Tangmo reciprocated with a handsome one of his own. After being together for so long, they were more than used to this kind of momentary parting. "Stay safe."

"You too," Tangmo nodded as Leilatha jogged down the trench, waving and directing guardsmen and eldars back into the city. Roaring engines rumbled around him, and Tangmo saw some of the more battered looking tanks withdrawing into Eyvtalien as Henry lowered his hand from his ear, a contented smile on his visage. "Ladaee gave you nice pep talk?"

"The best kind," Henry checked his lasgun, adjusted the optic and loaded the grenade launcher as the main characters gathered around them. "So how long are we staying here?"

"Until everything went to shit," Tangmo shrugged and braced his lasgun on the sandbag, grimacing at the fuck load of traitors, cultists and daemons barreling toward them, "which won't be long now."

"I can't believe the Chaos army faked us out with fucking Titans," Henry shook his head. "I mean, they used their most powerful war machines as fucking distraction, what the fuck?!"

"I know right?! Then again, if anyone can come up with the most asinine, batshit insane plan, then it's motherfucking Chaos," Tangmo turned his gaze northward then. "Wonder how the girls are doing."