The Northern Grand Duke’s Crazy Son-in-Law

15. Fart

“I feel like the 4th battalion commander keeps glaring at me. Is it just me?”

“He is glaring at you, sir.”

“He must be jealous of my good looks.”

“······The 4th battalion commander will probably think of you as someone who stirs up trouble. The monster’s movements have been a bit strange lately, but it’s not a big enough issue to warrant a full-scale investigation.”

Galahad scratched his cheek at Gilbert’s response.

“I don’t mind the special forces moving, but the problem is that Lady Adrianna is going with them.”

Gilbert pointed to one side. There was a large white carriage there.

“Lady Adrianna doesn’t make exceptions, even for fellow commanders. The 4th battalion commander must be nervous that Lady Adrianna is visiting.”

“So, you’re saying that he’s dragging the general along to visit the unit.”

“What do you plan to do, sir? Nothing might come of it.”

“If there’s no achievement, we’ll just have to make one.”

Gilbert winced. Galahad patted him on the shoulder.

“Achievements are made, not given.”

Just then, Tom, who had gone to get the carriage, returned. His expression was not good.

“Isn’t this a baggage cart? How are we supposed to get there in this?”

Galenhad looked at the carriage at Tom’s grumbling. It was certainly smaller than the carriage he had been in before, and it didn’t even have windows.

However.

“But isn’t it still a carriage?”

To Galenhad, it was all the same. It was an ignorant means of transportation with wheels and pulled by horses, wasn’t it?

“It’s a newly established unit with no track record or roots, so this is a natural course of action. If you’re resentful, you should build up your track record. Then they’ll change the carriage to something bigger.”

Gilbert pointed to the 4th Battalion’s carriage. Compared to this carriage, it was certainly bigger and had thicker wheels. Plus, it had various decorations on the outside.

The soldiers who looked like they were from the 4th Battalion openly laughed at them.

“Are you going to ride in that? You’re going to die.”

“It doesn’t even have leather on it, are you going to freeze to death?”

Galenhad’s question remained the same.

Whether it was the 4th Battalion’s carriage, the 1st Battalion’s carriage, or this carriage, in the end-.

“But isn’t it still a carriage?”

Big or small, to Galenhad it was just a carriage.

It was no different from making a wooden boat bigger and painting it.

“Yes, that’s true.”

“That’s right. The carriage doesn’t represent us.”

Tom with a somewhat impressed expression and Gilbert with a trembling expression-. They seemed to have misunderstood.

What could he talk about with those idiots who didn’t know magic?

Galen had clicked his tongue and headed for the carriage.

‘It should be enough to keep it warm and comfortable.’

He planned to lay down basic magic. The most important thing was mana-.

“Why······ why?!”

“I just saw it.”

“Your eyes were strange! Sticky!”

Gwen covered her body. She was quite quick-witted.

Gwen’s mana pool was quite large, and since Gwen didn’t use magic anyway, he could use her. In the process, there was also the effect of exposing her to mana.

Galen had put a cigarette in his mouth and waved his hand. He planned to use the principle of creating a magic tool.

Magic tools originally used magic stones. They were made by engraving a spell and inserting a concentrated magic stone in the center, drawing in mana from the atmosphere and using it.

This time, Gwen was the magic stone. Of course, using a person like a magic stone was a somewhat difficult spell-. But the caster was Galenhad.

A very thin and narrow layer of air formed at the tip of his finger. It was magic that compressed the blade of the wind. He moved it and engraved magic circles everywhere.

“Gwen, you sit here.”

“Yes! This feels a bit strange! It tickles!”

“Bear with it. Oh, and don’t ever fart.”

“······I don’t usually fart! But now that you say that, I want to!”

When Gwen sat down, the magic slowly began to circulate.

The interior, which had been full of cold air, quickly warmed up.

“Wow··· this is magic. It’s like sitting in front of a fireplace.”

“Good.”

“I feel strange···. Ugh···.”

Damian sank into the chair as if he were melting.

“······Tom, do you know how to hold the reins?”

Gilbertone, who never gave up the reins, asked with a shaky voice. He seemed to want to enter the carriage because it was warm.

“You can’t ride because you’re narrow. Isn’t that armor too big?”

Galahad clicked his tongue at Gilbertone, who was openly disappointed.

“If you show me respect, I’ll install it on the coachman’s seat.

“Oh, our respectful Captain Galahad.”

“Good.”

Gilbertone laughed, which was rare for him, as he drew a magic circle on the coachman’s seat.

“The knights of the North also get cold.”

“I’m a human being too. This is great. My butt is warm.”

“Technically, it’s called an ‘ass’.”

***

‘Ass-.’

Gilbertone giggled at his warm ass. It was just his butt that was warm, but it made a big difference in this cold weather.

It was so warm with the hide of the beast on top of it.

A guy approached from the side. A woman with a white saddle on a brown horse, Hartna, who was a colleague from the 1st Battalion.

“Oh, it suits you.”

Hartna said with a mocking voice. Hartna had always been particularly jealous of Gilbertone. He seemed to have come to tease him after hearing that Gilbertone had gone to the special forces.

Normally, it would have annoyed him a little, but thanks to being with Galahad, he didn’t think much of it.

“Does it suit me? That’s good.”

His face crumpled right away. This was how it felt. Gilbertone was slightly impressed.

“How do you feel about falling from the 1st Battalion to the special forces? You kept nagging about entering the 1st Battalion, but you fell in one shot?”

“It’s not a special forces unit, it’s a special duty unit. You can’t even pronounce three letters properly. You’re still the same.”

“What?!”

Hartna shouted. Gilbertone felt a strange thrill. This was why Galahad was so picky about his words.

“Ha, you’ve become grumpy since you fell to the special forces? Were you so shocked?”

“It’s a special duty unit.”

“Yeah! Special duty unit! You’re shamelessly nagging about a name you don’t need to remember anyway!”

Certainly, the special duty unit didn’t roll off the tongue well.

“Because of your stupid judgment, you’re driving a shabby carriage like that and working as a coachman.”

‘A shabby carriage-. It certainly looks like that.’

The carriage was more comfortable now than when he was driving Adrianna’s carriage. It was just the difference of having a warm butt, but it was bigger than he thought. He had never driven such a comfortable carriage.

“Stop, it’s Lady Adrianna’s order to receive the identity badge.”

Gilbertone stared at the white carriage in front.

It was true that he felt a little disappointed, but Adrianna was originally that kind of person.

Adrianna was a woman who drew the same line for herself.

Clang!

At that moment, the door opened roughly.

“Oh my! Lord Gilbertone! Gwen farted!

“I didn’t fart! It wasn’t me!”

“Actually, it was me.”

Gilbert laughed as he listened to the commotion behind him.

“Here, take it.”

Gilbert tossed over a used pack of cigarettes.

“You’ll regret this.”

Gilbert laughed out loud at Hartna’s grumbling.

Regret, he had always been filled with it.

***

It was a dark night. The sound of sharp winds constantly battering the carriage.

‘Ugh…’

A strange feeling made Galahad grimace.

Gwen shook her head in surprise.

“It wasn’t me this time! I really didn’t fart!”

A strange feeling came over him. It was a fleeting sensation, but he definitely felt it.

Galahad wasn’t stupid enough to not believe what he felt. He hurriedly kicked open the carriage door. Bang! The carriage door opened roughly, revealing the landscape outside.

They were in a forest blanketed in white. Tall, thin trees flashed by. Cold air rushed in.

“Did Gwen fart again?!”

“······I didn’t! Really!”

Galahad narrowed his eyes, grabbed the carriage door, and extended his other hand with a twist. The wind was so cold, it felt like his hand would freeze.

It was a dark forest, so dense with trees that you couldn’t see inside. As if a monster were hiding.

Galahad flicked his fingers lightly. A small fire burst forth, followed by a larger one. The giant fire pushed away the darkness.

And what it revealed was-.

“Demons.”

They were wolves with red eyes.

Galahad threw a fireball without hesitation. Just before the fireball hit the wolf, the wolf caught it.

‘It caught it?’

Galahad realized what was off.

‘The wolves are walking on two legs.’

It was so natural, you’d think wolves normally walked on two legs.

“We’re under attack!!”

A long cry erupted.

“What… what is it!”

“You, the smell of your farts attracted the wolves. That’s why I told you not to fart.”

“···Yes?! I’m sorry! When you tell me not to fart, I fart even······!”

Galahad moved his fingers instead of replying. Fire surged again. It was faster than before. The corners of Galahad’s mouth turned up. He had grown stronger.

“They’re two-legged wolves! They’re weak to fire! They eat people’s heads, so watch out for your heads!”

Tom, who had already taken out his shield, shouted. Damian appeared next to Tom. He looked just like a puppy about to go for a walk.

“Evil demons await! Shall we go?”

“Alright.”

Galahad grabbed Damian’s back and threw him out. Gwen let out a long scream. Damian tumbled to the ground. Bam-! The wolf that had its fangs bared towards Damian was torn apart. Damian emerged from the middle of it, laughing heartily.

“Your skills are amazing every time I see them! Sir Gilbert!”

“Yes! I’m safe!”

Gilbert held the reins with one hand and wielded his sword with the other. The wolves were easily cut apart by his dazzling aura.

“No! Save the hide!”

“Yes?!”

“I said collect the hide! I need to make a coat! Hey! Tom! Do you know how to make a coat?”

“Yes? What do you think I am! Of course I can!”

“Good! Gwen, don’t move from your seat! There’s a barrier spell there!”

“Noooo!”

Gwen shouted as she pushed the ground with her hand on the ceiling.

Galahad grabbed the roof of the carriage and laughed. He held on and kicked the ground, and in an instant, the world turned upside down.

Thud! Galahad, who was now standing on the ceiling, unbuttoned his coat and shook his hand.

“An excellent performance?”

“Sir, there’s one behind you.”

“I know.”

Gilbert, who had answered lightly, swung his sword crookedly. The wolf that had been running towards the blue straight line was cut apart.

Wolves were running from all directions, but the knights and soldiers reacted quite well. It seemed like this was something that happened quite often.

Then, a dazzling light burst out from behind.

The bodies of the wolves floated up into the air. There was no blood anywhere. They looked like dried-up corpses.

Adrianna was in the center of it all.

Adrianna, who was covered in a dazzling light, looked like a goddess who had descended from the heavens.

Adrianna drew her sword silently.

A long line was drawn in the void.

For a moment, it felt like space itself had been cut.

‘She imbued her mana into the sword.’

How is that even possible?

Galahad couldn’t believe his eyes.

The monsters couldn’t even touch Adrianna.

No, they couldn’t even stand in front of her.

It was just one slash of her sword. The wolves crumbled into dust along the line she had drawn.

‘What absurd power.’

It was a move that showed that she was the greatest enemy of the Demon King.

There wasn’t even a hint of effort on her face. It felt like she had just swung her sword lightly.

At first, he had wondered how the North had managed to hold back the monsters, but now that had changed.

‘How are the monsters holding back Adrianna?’

That was the level of her power.

‘I don’t get it at all.’

Galahad, who had habitually imagined ways to kill Adrianna, clicked his tongue softly. No matter what method he tried, the math didn’t add up.

She was the natural enemy of everything that had mana.

Those indifferent eyes held no emotions.

With just two swings of the sword, the wolves’ raid came to an end.

Everyone was tidying up as if nothing had happened.

“This is a dangerous place.”

Galahad licked his lips and wiped the blood from his face.

“Two-legged wolves appear whenever they feel like it. Their fur is quite warm, so their hide is the most popular for coats.”

Gilbert explained as he shook the blood off his sword. Unlike Gilbert’s neat appearance, Damian was covered in blood like he had just taken a bath in it.

“As soon as I feel a strange sensation, the monsters raid us.”

Galahad flicked his fingers to create an arrow of mana. It was a spell used to measure mana concentration.

He held it and headed towards the place that had felt strange earlier. The arrow of mana shook slightly, and then its size decreased.

“The mana concentration is thicker than in other places.”

Of course, there were differences in mana concentration, but there was no way the difference would be this noticeable in the same place.

“There’s something there.”

Galahad’s lips curled up.

“Let’s go this way.”

“The road is that way.”

“I’m a pioneer. Follow me.”

“There will be a lot of resistance.”

Gilbert pointed to the back. People from the 1st and 4th battalions were preparing to get in the carriages.

If they were to go the way Galahad had pointed, they would have to leave the carriages and move. There was no way they would follow him obediently.

“Doesn’t matter, right? Our superior is His Highness, the Grand Duke.”

Gilbert chuckled. He seemed to think it was a joke.

Galahad hid his trembling hands behind his back and approached Adrianna. Adrianna was sitting quietly with her eyes closed.

Was she reviewing the battle? That perfect battle from before? Galahad clicked his tongue.

“What’s wrong?”

Adrianna asked indifferently.

“There’s something over there.”

“Over there?”

“The mana concentration is thick. A thick mana concentration means there’s something artificial over there. And… could I borrow the map for a second? Thank you.”

Galahad borrowed the map from the knight next to Adrianna and unfolded it.

“We’re probably around here.”

“How did you know?”

“There’s a map in my head.”

The knight next to Adrianna chuckled. He seemed to think it was a joke.

“The watchtowers that the monsters attacked are here, here, here, and here. But that watchtower in the middle is intact. Isn’t that strange?”

“It is strange.”

“Besides, even if we go to the watchtowers that have already collapsed, they’ll already be in the process of recovery, so there’s nothing to gain. It’s obvious that there will be something more if we go this way.”

“There’s no path that way, so we can’t take the carriages. It will take half a day to walk.”

The knight next to Adrianna chimed in again. She was a beautiful woman with a gentle face. The woman whose eyes met hers nodded.

“That is a reasonable opinion.

Adrienne nodded.

“That direction is the opposite of where the monsters attacked. It’s a waste of time to go there. Wasn’t that the plan in the first place?”

At that moment, the 4th Battalion Commander approached. His body was covered in red blood. Galahad analyzed the traces and came to a conclusion. A brute who enjoys piercing-.

Adrienne nodded again.

“The Special Forces Commander’s opinion is a plausible theory, but it’s not enough to change our plans. I apologize, but as it was the Magician’s deduction, it’s beyond my understanding. However, the authority over each battalion’s troop deployment lies with each commander, so I cannot stop you if you wish to go. We will investigate the collapsed watchtower as planned. After that, we will join you.”

Adrienne’s judgment was as expected.

Galahad had wanted to move separately from the start. If he were to stick with Adrienne, all the credit would go to that dazzling woman-.

However, the reason he had spoken to Adrienne was because of the support he mentioned earlier. If something felt off, Adrienne would not simply pass it by. She would definitely come back.

If he were to encounter an overwhelming enemy, he planned to wait for Adrienne.

Agents always dug two holes.

“Hmph-. The Special Forces-. You must have a hard time because of your incompetent commander.”

Unaware of the situation, the 4th Battalion Commander snorted and laughed. He seemed to think that Adrienne had taken his side.

Unfortunately, she had taken neither side.

She had simply made a judgment.

The organization was swift. In no time, they were the only ones left.

Galahad silently looked around at his team members.

Damian, who was licking the blood around his lips with his tongue sticking out; Tom, whose face was tense with nerves; Gilbert, who had a carefree expression; and Gwen, who was holding a mop and a broom with a serious look-.

Could there be such a mess?

“Everyone, move out.”

Galahad chuckled.

“······I’m sorry! I just got a little jumpy!! I didn’t know the wolves would come!”

Gwen apologized in a fluster.

***

“Hey, Carl! Someone’s coming!”

“Who would come to a place like this! Hurry up and get to work! It’s almost over!”

“No, they’re really coming?! There’s five of them!”

“Five?! The work’s almost done, so it’d be bad to get caught.”

“Then what do we do?”

“Kill them! You bastard!”