The Outer God Needs Warmth

A day has passed.

During that time, I did what living creatures do—ate, washed, unloaded waste, and slept.

Three-tenths of a person’s life is these memories, so I don’t feel uneasy about it now.

It was my first time doing it myself, but with Rebecca’s memories, it was no trouble at all.

Putting aside such trivial issues, the place I’m in is a basement where not a single ray of light penetrates. Judging by its structure, it’s more expansive than most cities.

And outside this underground burrow lies a plain reminiscent of a desert.

In the rainy season, grass grows, while in the dry season, only withered grass and sand swirl about. A deep valley, seemingly formed through long erosion, exists there.

When I was a human, it looked like something out of a foreign movie—red sand and stones, and towering cliffs stacked layer by layer, with a river flowing between them.

And a high Rocky Mountain.

Scattered around it are small villages, but those are just entrances; the reality lies beneath that Rocky Mountain.

I want to go outside and see it for myself, but that would be difficult for the time being.

In the morning, Hieronymus came to greet me, but he hasn’t returned after that, leaving me with nothing to do.

Joanna seems to have focused on taking care of me, sticking to my side like a maid.

Last night was quite entertaining.

As I lay down in bed and fell asleep, she returned to her room. And after being left alone for a while, she cleaned a foggy mirror.

Then, in front of it, she carefully examined her face or did handstands and push-ups. Using two hands, then one hand, then fingers—it was quite fascinating.

After moving enough to work up a slight sweat, Joanna left the room. Then she went to the training area for warriors and called what I assumed was an instructor.

And learned how to fight.

Whether her body improved significantly or she had that talent to begin with, she managed to follow the instructor’s movements quite well.

Seeing her noticeable progress in just a day, the instructor couldn’t help but ask about her identity.

At that, Joanna looked surprisingly delighted.

“Thanks to Rebecca’s blessing, I’ve become like this. I was originally a dying old man.”

She showed her open hand proudly in front of the instructor. I could see desire glimmer in the instructor’s eyes.

“Are you talking about the person who came during yesterday’s ceremony?”

“Yes, that is indeed her.”

However, Joanna didn’t boast any further. Instead, she returned to her room. Based on her light-hearted footsteps, it seems she was pleased with having bragged a bit.

While I find it hard to understand, emotions aren’t understood by reason.

Who would understand my coldness?

After that, Joanna went into her room and slept, leaving me with nothing to see but the outside.

Then, Joanna came in first to give me my meal, washed me, and after tidying me up, Hieronymus visited briefly to greet and then left.

Ah.

I realize it’s morning because, in this underground city, the bell tolls six times to announce the morning. I wonder if ringing a bell in a place like this is safe?

I’m sure they know what they’re doing.

There’s something called a sleep pattern, and if it’s disrupted, one might easily fall apart, so I can speculate that it’s crucial to signal time accurately in such a space.

Thus, morning passed.

And just as the afternoon was well underway, I was contemplating whether to brave the cold and step outside when—

Bang! Suddenly, the door burst open, and a child entered.

A little girl with silver hair who wasn’t wearing a mask and was without a hood cast shadows over her face. Yet, her light is quite bright and strong. Oddly enough, despite the size of the light, the warmth isn’t much.

Weird.

“Well, you must be the great being that Hieronymus is keeping hidden? I am Hyungkesuni, a seemingly insignificant witch as you see.”

And especially noteworthy is the huge staff she holds in one hand. It looks bizarrely like it’s made from a human skull and spine.

It seems to be made from real bones rather than fake ones.

Since she did introduce herself as a witch, possessing an odd tool seems quite natural? I’d usually imagine a witch with a broom, but in this world, that might be a standard magical tool.

As she approached, Joanna stood in front of me like a shield.

So I tugged gently at Joanna’s hem.

“Rebecca?”

“Please move aside.”

“Okay.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, she lowered her head and stepped back, which honestly doesn’t feel great. That’s how cults usually act.

I got out of bed and walked toward the little witch. She’s about half a head shorter than me.

“Hello. I’m Rebecca Rolfe.”

“Oh, I didn’t expect you to greet me! But that’s strange. That’s the name of the body you’re wearing, not your own, is it?”

She gazed at me with sharp eyes. Though she looks like a little girl, her speech and aura resemble those of an older person.

Is she trying to defy age?

It seems extreme, but since she’s a witch, it wouldn’t be that unusual.

In old fairy tales, witches were depicted as haggard old women with hooked noses and warts, but over time, cute girls took their place.

“It would be bothersome if I didn’t have a name. So, please write down my body’s name. Is there a difference?”

“There is a difference. There’s indeed a difference. A name defines the very existence. Just as you do not perish even if your body deteriorates, the essence is different!”

Can’t you live without a name?

A name is only necessary for others; if one is alone, names are unnecessary since there’s no need to differentiate between oneself and others.

In short, it’s a concept of a social creature.

It might be possible that, in this world, names hold significant weight, so I can’t be sure. I still have a lot to learn.

“If you want the name of your essence beyond this body, can you share it?”

I remember my name from when I was human, and I can read it, but weirdly, I can’t say it out loud. I can’t even write it down.

“How?”

Just ask, okay?

Does Hyungkesuni know? Even if I want to, I can’t share it.

Or maybe all these memories are fake. If everything is fake, then there’s just no real name to share. It’s just the feeling of having a name. Then what’s this coldness? Who am I?

There are questions, but unfortunately, this doesn’t induce an identity crisis. Instead, the ever-increasing coldness gnaws at my existence.

I’m freezing and about to lose my mind, so if there’s any time to ponder such things, I’ll scream for warmth instead!

If the essence of life is instinct, then the instinct is screaming this one thing—

“Please don’t trouble me with difficult questions, then! Don’t tell me you have a name but no way to share it? Or can’t a person even pronounce it?”

“Right in front of you.”

At my words, Hyungkesuni let out a short, pained sound. Why is she acting like that? There’s a strangely exclusive attitude toward me.

“Really, you are making this difficult for me. Who would dare call you a god? Then is it callable?”

As Hyungkesuni waved her hand, a small feather drifted from behind her and landed in her palm. A quill?

What a classic tool.

As she offered it to me, I took hold of it. There was a strange energy dancing at my fingertips, but I’ve prepared for various outcomes when handling something as odd as myself.

I sat on the ground to use it.

However, the pen refuses to move. I can’t seem to shape any characters. Writing in Hangul is impossible.

Moreover, even if I tried to transcribe it into the language of this world, I couldn’t. I can utilize their language through memories, but matching it one-to-one is impossible, let alone writing phonetically.

“That’s strange. It won’t work.”

“Is there some kind of restriction? That’s a bad deal for you. Since you were suddenly trapped in such a world.”

As she spoke, her eyes glittered as she gazed at me. There’s intent to pierce through the surface—this question is meant to probe me.

So…

Do I need to lie?

No, I don’t.

“I’m glad to have come to you. I’m a very very very cold sea.”

I start speaking slowly. The last time I rushed, Hyungkesuni looked at me as if I were a chatty person.

So, I take it slow, leisurely, singing, with rhythm.

“I’m always gazing up at the light above, waiting for it to fall. If I’m lucky, sometimes it comes to me, filled with unfortunate memories. Then, a tiny bit of warmth comes.”

That’s you. Every life holds a light in their hearts, and that light carries warmth. And Hyungkesuni understands my words.

A hint of fear flickers in her eyes. Right? I’m telling you that right now, I’m eyeing you all as prey.

It’s natural for a prey to fear before a predator. I have no intention of killing you; however, if taking life accompanies gaining warmth, I wouldn’t hesitate.

“I love that warmth. I love it so much. The endlessly chilling cold pauses ever so slightly.”

This is my impulse. Understanding the fundamental principle should make it easier for you to understand me, right?

“Therefore, I need warmth. I would do anything for warmth. Am I trapped in this world? Yes. I was suddenly caught in it. But look, warmth is right in front of me. Thank you.”

Firstly, I expressed my gratitude. Perhaps it’s a meal-related greeting. Hehe.

“If a name is meant to signify existence, then all of this is my name.”

At my words, Hyungkesuni’s face filled with a smile. But I know it’s not genuine laughter.

Some people laugh out of fear. They force a smile to alleviate excessive stress.

Humans are simple; just laughing brings the effect of a laughable situation to the surface. It’s not that something is funny; it’s just that since one is laughing, one can laugh.

“Did you receive the answer you desired?”

Hyungkesuni didn’t answer my question. But behind that smile lurked trembling fear, and something that spilled over from that fear managed to escape her lips.

“What have we done?”

Is this reaction akin to calling upon an evil god? I’m merely a beast. I lack much intelligence and special abilities to be called a deity, and I possess no dignity that would make someone bow just by seeing me.

I’m like a pet that eats a little too much.

Treat me like a beast in a zoo, and I’d be grateful.

If all I need is warmth, I could become the zoo’s mascot!

So.

“Don’t be afraid, Hyungkesuni.”

Slowly channeling the heart of a wild animal, I brought my hand closer to her cheek.

“No one has done anything wrong.”

I truly don’t see the act of being caught as a bad deed.

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