The Phoenix Saga

"C'mon, cutie!" 

Akane giggled, walking slowly as she gently held the hand of the little girl toddling along next to her. "You're doing so great!" Akane winced as Mioko tripped over her own feet, plopping to the floor in her clunky pink sneakers and her green dress with an elephant print. "Oof! Oh, you're okay, baby girl. Let's get back up! We always get back up when we fall down," Akane encouraged, her voice rising to a higher octave as she gently pulled the whimpering Mioko back to her feet by the hand.

"Sometimes it just takes a few months," Ranko said with a chuckle, laying on her back on the sofa and turning the page of her book. Her right ankle was crossed over her left knee, paying no mind to the way it exposed her in her favorite white lace dress. "Pro tip, kid, don't get into any fights with grabby assholes with wooden swords."

"Ranko!" Akane gasped, whipping her head around to face her wife with an admonishing expression on her face. "Watch your language around her!"

The redhead cringed, sucking air in through her teeth as she looked up from her book. "Shit, sorry!" 

"Really? Again?!" Akane rolled her eyes at her young bride. "You've gotta be more careful! She repeats basically everything she hears now!"

"Sowwy," Mioko mimicked with a bright smile, pointing up at Ranko with a chubby, listless finger.

Glad she picked that word and not the other one. Ranko dog-eared the page she'd just finished in The Magic of Paula Abdul: From Straight Up to Spellbound, tossing the pink paperback to the couch cushion and sitting up. I'll never get used to reading English books; everything's freakin' backwards. "Yeah? Hey, Mioko? Can you say, Auntie Ranko is the best?"

Ranko's niece offered no reply, instead finding herself quite focused on the stack of colored plastic rings on the floor. 

"When's Izzi supposed to come pick her up?" Ranko asked, craning her neck to look at the wall clock. "I thought we were supposed to be done by now. We gotta get to the bar soon for setup."

Akane crinkled her nose, crossing her legs and dropping to the floor next to her niece. "Oh, we're just fine, aren't we, Mioko? Your Mommy and Daddy haven't gotten any grownup time in weeks, and me and Auntie Ranko are more than happy to hang out with you!" She turned her eyes up to Ranko on the couch as she stroked Mioko's brown hair. She really was the picture of her mother. "Worst case, you can head over without me, and I'll catch up after they get here. You're always saying you want them to let you help out more, like you used to."

The redhead gave a soft nod, a wistful smile forming on her lips as she watched Akane play with a doll, engaging with Mioko at every opportunity. She looks so happy. She'll never admit it, but… I know she wants a kid of her own. I can tell. Just one more thing I'll never be able to do for her. One more way I have to fail her. She shook her head hard, as if trying to eject the intrusive thoughts from her mind. Don't need to be focused on that shit right now. "Yeah, I can do that, I guess. Izzi's not coming in tonight, is she?"

"I don't think so," Akane said. "Pretty sure it's just you, me, Yui, Sakura, and Mei. We might have Seiichi tonight after eight; I don't remember the schedule off hand."

Ranko made a disgusted face, sticking out her tongue. "Eugh. Gonna be rough for a Friday with just us. Think we oughta call Aya or Mom and see if they can come help?"

Akane stood from the wooden floor, stretching her back with a groan. Her hands reached high into the air, letting her gray Minato University Athletics tee shirt slide up her midriff and separate from her green denim skirt. "That's up to Sakura - if she thinks we need help, she'll call somebody. I know you want to pitch in, but right now, it's important for Sakura and Yui to get to be the leaders, without all of us interfering. They've got to build up the confidence that they can do it on their own."

"I guess," Ranko said with a shrug. "I kinda figured, we're all co-owners now; we'd just run it together. But I get your point about, like, if you have seven leaders, you don't have any." 

Her wife nodded. "Exactly. We're all in this together, but the rest of us have other things distracting us, with school and your music, and martial arts, and all of that stuff. Managing the day-to-day of the bar is their thing. So, I think we need to follow Yui and Sakura's lead." 

Ranko smiled softly. "Yeah. I think they'll do fine. And we've got their ba… aghhh! OWWW!" She yelped through her gritted teeth, reaching down for her calf with both hands. "Little shit! I'm gonna…" 

"Shit," Mioko said with a grin, toddling off after having kicked her aunt in the leg. 

"Mioko!" Akane snatched the child up in her arms, wagging an admonishing finger in her face. "You don't hit people! It's not nice!"

Ranko chuckled darkly through her clenched teeth, rubbing her leg with both of her hands. "If only the you from four years ago could hear yourself right now, Akane. I think I'm still workin' off a concussion or two from you."

"Yeah, well," Akane snickered as she bent down to deposit Mioko in her playpen. "In my defense, my ex-boyfriend was kind of a jerk sometimes! Luckily for me, my absolute cutie of a wife is much, much sweeter." She turned her eyes down to Mioko, speaking firmly over the child's wailing. "And as for you, little miss grumpy pants, I think it's time for your nap. C'mon, let's lie down for Auntie, honey."

After she covered her niece with a pink plush blanket, Akane turned to Ranko with an almost motherly smile. "Are you okay? Looked like she got you pretty good."

Ranko glowered, huffing under her breath. "Yeah. I'll be fine. Stupid fucking Cat's Tongue, getting me beat up by a literal freaking baby." 

And that's far from the only way I've become an entirely pathetic weakling, she thought, her stomach roiling as she recalled the events that had befallen her in Thailand. 

"Well, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself," Akane replied, turning and walking toward the couch. "After all, there are some more enjoyable parts of the Full-Body Cat's Tongue…" She smirked deviously, running her fingers up Ranko's thigh starting from her knee. 

Akane recoiled, her eyes wide with shock, as Ranko quickly drew her legs back from her wife's touch and pulled them back under her dress. "R… Ranko? What's the matter, baby?" Her face was a mask of surprise and concern.

Ranko fought to steady her breathing, lowering her eyes in shame. "I just… I'm not really in the mood. I'm sorry, Akane."

I just… she touches me and I feel myself losing control and… it scares me. I don't want to feel vulnerable like that. Helpless like that. I can't. Not even with her. Especially in front of her. Ranko swallowed hard. "I really am sorry."

Akane tossed Ranko's book to the end table and sat beside her on the gray sofa, wrapping her arms around the slender redhead's shoulders. "It's okay. I'm just… I'm worried about you, princess. When you got back home last time, even with Mom being sick, you couldn't keep your hands off me, and this is just… different. Are you sure there's nothing wrong? You can talk to me about anything, my love. You know that; at least, I hope you do."

Sure, Akane. No problem. I'll just look the person I love the most in the whole world, the person I need validation and respect from more than anyone else in the universe, in the face and say, 'Hey, honey! Remember when I used to be a guy, and a damn near unbeatable martial artist? Remember when I was basically invincible? Remember when I promised your father I was strong enough to be a husband to you as well as a wife? Remember when I said you didn't have to worry about me going on tour because I can take care of myself? Well, turns out, get a cocktail or two in me, and I'm an observant friend away from being literally raped and left for dead in a Thai sewer! Good times, huh?' I'm sure that'll be just fine. You'll never look at me the same way again. You'll never trust in me the same way again.

After a long moment of silence, Ranko shook her head softly. "I'm fine. Just tired."

"Ranko…" Akane sighed, leaning into her lover. She rested her temple on Ranko's shoulder, softly stroking her lover's scalp. "You're not tired. Your head always itches you when you're overtired. You have a tell. Don't think I don't watch you, love. This is… something else. Something you're not telling me."

Ranko stiffened, but relaxed after a moment in Akane's embrace. This… isn't bad. This feels nice. "It's nothin', Akane. Nothing you need to worry about, anyway. Just… a lot's happened in the last few weeks and my brain is still trying to make sense of it all." 

Not entirely a lie, just an omission big enough to fly a jumbo jet through. I tried to tell you, on the phone, but… I just couldn't get the words out. I was too ashamed of myself. I still am. I'm so sorry. I know I promised you no more secrets, but… 

Besides, Ranko thought, her frown deepening. It doesn't help that the Yokai people are trying as hard as they can to make me feel dirty for loving you. Like there's something wrong, or shameful, about it. Why can't it just be normal? I love you, you love me. That should be all there is to it. What fucking business is it of some empty suit in Shibuya? What you do to me, you do because you love me, and what that dirtbag in Thailand wanted to do to me… all he wanted to do was hurt me, but that, Yokai would have been perfectly okay with.

The songstress finally spoke, but when she did, her voice was quiet and hollow. "For now, would it be okay if you just, ya know, held me, for a minute?" Ranko bit her lip, looking away from Akane toward the slowly-settling child in the playpen a few meters away. Gods, I am such a fucking girl.

Akane nodded, but rocketed to her feet, disappearing into the girls' bedroom. Ranko's eyes followed her in betrayed despair, but she managed a soft smile when Akane returned a moment later, a white stuffed unicorn tucked in her arms. "Sorry! Starlight said she wanted to help hold you, too." 

She handed the unicorn down to Ranko, who reached out for it eagerly with both hands. As Ranko curled around it, Akane retook her position on the middle cushion of the couch, draping her body over Ranko's as she leaned into the armrest to her left. She wrapped her arms tight around the smaller woman, laying her right leg over her lover's thigh so as to embrace her even more fully.

"There, how's that? I'm always happy to hold my girl. You know that." Akane brushed Ranko's hair away from her temple, leaning down and planting a whisper-soft kiss on the newly-cleared patch of skin. Her voice was quiet, tender and soothing, and the nearly-asleep toddler in the room had only the slightest bit to do with it. "Whatever's going on with you, I want you to know that I love you, Mrs. Tendo. Nothing's ever gonna change that. You're always safe with me, precious."

Ranko sighed, burying her face in Starlight's back and willing the plush to absorb her silent tears before Akane could notice them. I don't think I'm ever gonna feel safe again, she thought to herself.

"I love you too, Akane."