The Priest Wants to Retire

EP.176 Rampage (1)

The saying “It’s dark under the lantern” is truly describing this situation.

According to the clerk, the Holy Sword that Apis had searched for all night was left at the entrance of the inn we were staying at, accompanied by a short note.

Even I couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity, so how must Apis have felt after wasting an entire day?

“Damn it······.”

Once again, our promise to avoid using harsh words in front of the Saintess was broken, but this time I couldn’t possibly criticize Apis for her actions.

“By the way, is that piece of junk really the Holy Sword? There’s no mix-up, right?”

“No. It’s definitely the Holy Sword. I can vouch for it.”

Apis’s skepticism was well-grounded.

The sword handed to us by the clerk looked like nothing but a rusty piece of scrap metal from any angle.

The damaged blade was so far gone that I doubted it could cut through pudding.

Yet, every time I placed my hand on the sword, the Hero’s blessing resonated, proving that this dilapidated junk was, without a doubt, the Holy Sword we were seeking.

Besides, it’s a general rule in this trade that weapons that look unimpressive have extraordinary power in times of crisis.

Personally, I preferred this kind of weapon.

To those unworthy, it may be just worthless junk, but in front of its true master, it reveals its original form as a Legendary Sword.

Isn’t it a situation where any man would be set ablaze with excitement?

“Alright, that’s settled······.”

“Haha······.”

With a sigh that seemed to blend exasperation and relief, Apis wrapped up her words.

Regardless of how we got here, we had achieved our main goal of finding the Holy Sword.

Now, all that was left was to wait for its true owner, the Hero.

One minor problem remained: the moment the Hero appeared here, this entire area might get obliterated.

…Not a minor issue at all.

“But what about this note? Did you mess up again?”

“······Cough.”

After scanning the note enclosed with the sword for a while, Apis suddenly shot me a suspicious glance.

I could roughly guess why Apis reacted this way.

Surely, the meaningless scribbles on this little paper must have appeared highly dubious to her.

– Thank you for healing my father. Unfortunately, I can’t pay for the treatment. Instead, I’ll exchange it for the second most expensive item we have. Huh? What’s the most expensive? That’s naturally my virginity~ Kyaa~

Crumple.

Apis abruptly crumpled the note she was holding.

Her cold demeanor exuded a faint sense of contempt towards me.

“You’re not implying that you······.”

“Mistaken assumptions.”

I quickly corrected Apis’s misunderstanding.

Perhaps I had no right to say such things after having turned my back on the Will of God just the night before, but it was essential to firmly clarify that it wasn’t true, especially at a time like this.

No matter how much I’ve been in trouble with women lately.

I hadn’t even known her for a day to be caught up in a scandal.

“Apis, look me in the eyes and tell me. Do I look like a man without integrity?”

“Brother. Welna. I’ve finished eating. Now, swoop.”

“······”

The determination behind that declaration was considerably weighty, but it all went to waste with the Saintess sitting demurely on my lap, hugging my neck and demanding a kiss.

“Pfew······.”

Right after, Apis murmured something, but judging by her lips, it seemed like it was a curse.

◈◈◈

After repeatedly confirming the authenticity of the Holy Sword and clearing up a series of misunderstandings, we jumped straight into a meeting.

“First of all, we deny that anything happened. If things go south, in the worst-case scenario, we’ll offer you up as a sacrifice. How about it?”

“······”

I was momentarily at a loss for words at Apis’s merciless proposal.

However, even if it was a rotten rope, it was still a rope, so in my current state, I had no choice but to cling to it.

I had no idea how the Hero would react upon hearing that there had been a physical relationship between me and the Sister.

Would he be furious with jealousy? Would he weep in betrayal?

Whatever it was, it was clear he would exhibit a rather intense reaction.

Of course, it also mattered who that arrow of emotion would be aimed at.

Apis, who usually maintained a cynical attitude when it wasn’t her personal affair, was participating in this meeting out of concern for such reasons as well.

It wouldn’t be pleasant for her, either, to have a jealous comrade desperately trying to cut down a Sister serving the god.

“Isn’t there another way······? Something that would make everyone happy would be best······.”

Hearing my lukewarm suggestion, Apis furrowed her brows in silent discontent.

I was fully aware that I was talking out of turn.

But unless other options presented themselves, I wanted to keep the last resort of overlapping bodies with the Hero to calm her down.

“Hey, you······.”

Was I that pitiful, unable to face reality?

After being exhausted by my lukewarm response, it seemed Apis had reached a point where she was no longer even angry.

“Hey, is it that hard to hold back?”

“What?”

It was just then.

The innocent question whispered in my ear shattered the awkward silence that had hung over Apis and me.

“Is it really that enjoyable to the point where you’ll keep going once you start breeding?”

“Th-that’s······.”

Lying back on the soft bed and stretching her limbs like a sunbathing fox, Apis looked like a sight to behold.

Having just finished bathing, her crimson hair glistened, releasing a fragrant aroma every time it swayed, and the lingering dampness soaked into the blanket in an alluring manner.

I had repeatedly told her not to roll around in just her underwear on the bed.

Every time Apis behaved like that, I wondered if a grown woman felt no shame showing such a side to a man.

I thought about saying something now, but since she’d have been completely naked back then, I decided to let it go.

Even now, when I close my eyes, I vividly remember…

The days I spent desperately trying to instill human ethics into Apis, who insisted that elves didn’t wear underwear, while she yelled at me.

It was because that arduous journey piled up the frustration within me and smothered my lust.

Even if Apis were to strip right in front of me, I was confident I could maintain my composure.

And if my suspicions were correct, Apis would likely be in a similar situation.

If not, there would be no way to explain why Apis, who despises physical contact with men, treated me differently.

“I heard you had something with the Sister? Then tell me how it feels to breed in detail.”

“No, why would I suddenly be curious about something like that after having no interest my whole life······.”

“I’m not that curious, but recently Dawna has been persistently······.”

“Ah······.”

Right after seeing the awkward expression on Apis’s face, the image of Dawna stubbornly asking her to teach her how to attract men unexpectedly flashed in my mind.

In a way, it wasn’t surprising.

Given some circumstances, it was very plausible that Dawna had chosen Apis as a consultant due to her newfound interest in romance lately.

Everyone in our party, except for me, believed Apis to be a seasoned flirtatious elf.

“Just stop being pretentious and be honest······.”

“Are you out of your mind?! I’ve been acting all high and mighty in front of them! There’s no way I’m revealing I’m a virgin now; I’d rather die! They’ll look down on me!”

“Apis, I’ve told you before, there’s nothing shameful about not having physical experience······.”

“Try living for 400 years without a man touching you! Can you really say that?!”

“······”

They say those who don’t have much end up wanting more.

While it’s not my place to say anything, I couldn’t help but think that Apis, with her head held high and fiery attitude, wasn’t an easy person to deal with either.

“Saintess. Look over there. That’s the language of a grotesque adult consumed by vanity and arrogance.”

“Ohhh!”

“Hey! Who the hell are you, saying that!? Have you said everything now!?”

How long had it been since that petty argument began?

“This idiot just started strutting around after getting a bit of courage? Seriously? Hey! I’m just a virgin by name! It wouldn’t be hard for me to attract a man if I made up my mind!!”

“Ah, aah! H-hold on! I give up! I give up!!”

Boston Crab.

I was currently being tormented by Apis in a position known as shrimp bending.

“I have returned─!”

Amidst a pain that felt like my waist might snap, the Hero’s cheerful voice echoed loudly.