chapter 21
21 – 6. Friend Story (2)
1.
The next day.
Leuwen dressed up more beautifully than ever before.
“…The day has come to take this out.”
A pure white dress taken out from the wardrobe.
It was a dress Karen had given her a long time ago.
Because of its overly feminine design, it didn’t suit her, so she had put it in the wardrobe.
“Ugh…”
Leuwen looked at herself in the mirror and made a disgusted expression.
Lace with floral patterns.
Fluttering ribbons.
The overly feminine attire felt awkward.
I had never worn such clothes in my entire life.
“No way….”
Come to think of it, there was one time.
It was a long time ago.
…It was Evan’s birthday.
Back when Llewelyn had short hair.
As a boy, at Evan’s request, I wore a dress.
It was embarrassing, and I really didn’t want to wear it, but I had no choice but to wear it because of Evan’s earnest request.
How happy Evan was at that time.
He praised me endlessly, saying I looked beautiful.
Even on ordinary days, I heard comments like how nice it would be if I dressed like this more often.
While I was genuinely pleased with the compliments, it was still embarrassing, so the next day, I immediately returned to my usual appearance.
-Clap! Clap!
Llewelyn slapped both cheeks.
Shaking off hesitation, he filled the vacant space with courage.
It’s late.
Too late.
I should have done this as soon as we met.
He thought he should apologize and ask for forgiveness, but when he actually faced Evan, he only stuttered and couldn’t bring up a proper conversation.
How pathetic it was that it took courage until now, prompted by someone else’s advice….
Llewelyn scolded himself, tapping his cheeks several times.
-Clap!!
Finally, he slapped his cheeks harder.
“…Let’s go.”
Llewelyn headed towards the inn.
Walking with a dignified face, like a knight advancing to the battlefield.
Lifting each heavy step with effort.
The surroundings buzzed with whispers.
The leader in a dress.
The townspeople showed reactions close to astonishment at the leader’s unfamiliar appearance.
“… Ugh.”
Her face flushed with anger.
She tried her best to ignore it, but it was difficult to ignore the stares.
Gritting her teeth and only looking forward, Lewen arrived at the inn.
She ascended the stairs with determination.
If it was Evan’s room, she knew exactly where it would be.
“Hah… Hoo…”
She placed her hand on her chest and took a deep breath.
She didn’t expect to be forgiven.
She might even face insults for daring to apologize now.
Or maybe he would dismiss her before she could even apologize, telling her to leave upon seeing her face.
But she couldn’t keep shrinking in fear forever.
If she wanted to repair their relationship, even if it wasn’t as lovers, she had to pay the proper price and act accordingly.
Now, she finally takes the first step.
Knock, knock.
She knocked on the door.
Thump, thump!
Her heart pounded heavily.
The sound of her heart pounding reached her ears.
Even when faced with thousands of demon soldiers, she didn’t tremble like this.
Creak.
After a moment, the door opened.
“… Huh?”
Evan was taken aback when he saw Lewen standing at the door.
She was an unexpected guest.
Just her presence alone was surprising, but her appearance made him even more bewildered.
“… Ah, hello?”
Lewen greeted hesitantly, her voice strained.
She opened her eyes slightly and looked up at Evan’s face.
“…”
Evan silently gazed down at Leuen.
I can’t fathom what he’s thinking.
His expression is almost stoic, resembling someone looking at his past self.
The blue eyes, slightly obscured by his bangs, seemed clouded with a sense of ennui.
The room glimpsed through was cluttered with papers bearing magical symbols and empty bottles.
Even now, a faint smell of alcohol lingered around him.
Not as it used to be, but since coming to the Southern Front, Evan had started seeking solace in alcohol once again.
“Uh…”
Confronted with the chilling gaze, my body freezes, and my words threaten to lock up.
No.
I came here today to speak.
It can’t be delayed any further.
Throughout my journey, I repeatedly promised not to run away when I got here.
Leuen clenched his fists.
“I… I have something to say.”
Evan exhaled forcefully, pressing his temples.
“Go back.”
As if he didn’t want to hear anything, Evan stepped back, closing the door.
“…I’m sorry!”
Just before the door closed completely.
Leuen lowered his head and apologized to Evan.
Apologizing out of the blue could be unpleasant, but it seemed necessary; otherwise, Evan wouldn’t listen.
As Evan was about to shut the door, he suddenly froze.
He doubted if he had misheard.
He looked at Leuen’s temples.
It seemed he hadn’t misheard; Leuen was definitely bowing deeply.
For a moment, emotions surged dramatically.
It was an indescribable feeling.
Unpleasant words that reminded him of the five years spent like a recluse.
But there was also a different kind of turbulence.
The past self, still captivated by the person once loved ardently, might have been waiting for these words.
How many times had they doubted?
To think that all the times spent together were lies.
It was unbelievable and undesirable.
No matter how awkward and insincere she might have been in expressing emotions, she wasn’t fake.
If she truly disliked being with him, she would have shown it long ago.
It wasn’t pretending sympathy, but rather something genuine.
He didn’t know everything about her. But at least, from what Evan knew, she had that kind of personality.
So, while drinking, he couldn’t recall how much he had thought.
There must have been a story.
There must have been a reason.
Despite trying to let go of lingering feelings and desperately rationalizing like a fool, he couldn’t get rid of the regrets.
However, as time passed, the engraved wounds in his heart only festered and never healed.
Now it was too late.
She might have been waiting for these words.
But would uttering them now heal the festering wounds?
He had been digging into them for five years already.
Evan placed his hand on Leven’s shoulder.
Leven flinched, her body trembling.
With a small glimmer of hope, she slowly lifted her head.
But…
Evan pushed Leven away.
“Don’t apologize.”
Despite being called the next sage, Evan possessed remarkable magical talents but was far from being a wise person.
There might be a way to handle this situation more positively.
A true sage would have tried to forgive the mistake.
Evan couldn’t bring himself to do that.
Reason was being overtaken by emotion.
“I don’t want to hear it.”
Evan closed the door and entered the room.
“Ah…”
Leewen stared at the closed door with vacant eyes.
They bit down hard on their lower lip.
Their heart almost broke, but it didn’t.
They couldn’t retreat like this.
A simple “I’m sorry” wouldn’t suffice. They needed time to apologize, to acknowledge how foolish their choice was and the hurt it caused Evan.
They resolved to apologize persistently.
Not for forgiveness.
It was a duty imposed on Leewen, nothing less.
– Knock, knock.
Leewen cautiously knocked again.
– Bang!!
A loud thud echoed from the other side, making them flinch.
“Go away!!”
Leewen’s eyes widened like a startled rabbit.
Their body trembled uncontrollably.
They struggled to hold back the warmth welling up in their eyes.
They missed the moment for an apology; even if they wanted to, they couldn’t.
…Why am I so foolish?
…A stupid, idiotic woman.
Back then, they made a foolish choice, and now, by dragging their feet, they ended up like this.
Always, always reaching out in the wrong direction.
“…I’ll come back tomorrow.”
Leewen slumped their shoulders.
“…I’m sorry.”
Leewen left, trembling.
2.
A week passed.
Every day, Leewen visited Evan.
Standing in front of the door, like a dog waiting for its owner, they waited for Evan behind the door to open and to apologize.
So, he waited for several hours.
When Evan told her to leave because she was bothering him, she left with a sulky expression, apologizing for being bothersome. Then, the next day, she came back and apologized again.
Watching that, Evan felt no sympathy at all.
I’m watching to see when she gives up.
If it’s the Leven that Evan knows, she’ll probably give up in less than two weeks.
So, two weeks passed.
Leven still came every day to apologize.
But it didn’t change anything.
Five years of wounds don’t heal with two weeks of effort.
Today, Evan told Leven to leave again and left the inn.
“…What’s the point of doing this now.”
It’s more comfortable not to apologize.
Anyway, in half a year, he won’t have to see her face anymore.
If it’s destined to end, let it end as a bad fate.
For Evan, Leven was a woman who was a curse and a trauma.
…But should I at least listen to what she has to say?
Even if he hears something, it doesn’t seem like this relationship will recover.
“Woof!”
It happened while he was taking a walk in the village.
A puppy jumped out of an alley and bumped into Evan’s leg.
“Woof!”
The puppy growled and looked up at Evan.
It’s quite amusing that it did something wrong first and then got angry.
Evan looked down at the puppy with cold eyes.
It was a black puppy with fluffy fur.
It was one of the puppies born from the dog he raised at the general store not long ago.
Seeming to be full of curiosity about the world, it was happily expressing its curiosity.
When Evan looked down for a while, the puppy shook, then lay down and showed its belly.
“Surrendering?”
Evan chuckled.
“Okay, I forgive you.”
Evan gently stroked the puppy’s soft belly.
He had made mistakes, gotten angry, and now he was scared of himself. It was truly amusing.