The Son You Never Had

Chapter III: Aweng ti Napalabas

Ma. Christine sits by the window, staring blankly at the rain pelting the glass. A year has passed since Regie left, but her heart feels heavier with each day. She can still hear his voice in her mind, his pleas, the pain in his eyes."Christine," Benigno says softly, sitting beside her."You've been quiet all day. What's wrong?" She sighs, her voice trembling."Iniisip ko lang si Regie. Ben, nasaktan ko siya. Naalala ko yung mga sinabi ko sa kanya... ang sakit pala. Paano kung hindi na natin siya makita ulit?" Benigno reaches for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze."Mahal, alam kong mahirap. Pero iniisip ko na baka naman mas tahimik na ang buhay natin ngayon. Pero..." He hesitates, his voice cracking."Pero may kulang. Lagi na lang may kulang." Christine nods, tears rolling down her cheeks."Kahit galit tayo sa kanya noon, anak pa rin natin siya, Ben. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pang magpatawad sa sarili ko." Benigno pulls her into an embrace, trying to mask his own guilt. To distract themselves from their grief, the couple decides to channel their energy into something new. Christine, who has always loved cooking, suggests starting a business."Pastillas," she says one evening as they sit at the dining table."I can make them fresh every day. At least, kahit paano, may mapagkaabalahan tayo." Benigno nods."Good idea. I'll handle the logistics and deliveries. We can even sell them online para mas maraming makarating." It starts small—a few dozen orders from neighbors and friends. But word spreads quickly, and their sweet, creamy pastillas become a hit. Before they know it, they're receiving bulk orders from various cities."Christine," Benigno says one morning, holding up his phone with a wide grin."May big order tayo from Cavite. Dalawang libong packs!" Christine's eyes widen."Dalawang libo? Kaya ba natin 'yun?""Kaya natin. Tiwala lang," he says confidently. Their business expands rapidly. In just a year, they add other products to their lineup—polvoron, leche flan, and even bottled tuyo. With each successful venture, their profits grow, allowing them to dream bigger. One evening, as they sit together reviewing their monthly earnings, Benigno looks at Christine thoughtfully."Christine," he says,"what do you think about leaving Manila?" She looks up from the paperwork, surprised."Anong ibig mong sabihin?""Wala na tayo masyadong pamilya dito. Hindi na rin kasing ganda ang buhay sa siyudad. Why don't we find somewhere more peaceful to live? We've earned enough to start fresh somewhere else." Christine thinks for a moment, the idea appealing to her more than she expected."Saan mo gustong pumunta?""May narinig akong maganda ang buhay sa Vigan," Benigno says."Tahimik, maganda ang paligid, at mura ang bilihin. It's perfect for us." Christine smiles softly."Sige. If that's what you think is best, let's do it." A few months later, the De Veras find themselves standing in front of a charming ancestral house in Vigan. The old-world charm of the city immediately captivates them—cobblestone streets, horse-drawn carriages, and the warm smiles of locals."This is it," Benigno says, wrapping an arm around Christine's shoulders as they gaze at their new home."A new chapter for us." As they settle into their new life, Christine feels a sense of calm she hasn't experienced in years. But at night, when the world is quiet, her thoughts still wander back to Regie. Where is he now? Is he safe? Is he happy? One evening, as they sit on the balcony overlooking the quiet streets of Vigan, Benigno takes Christine's hand."Christine," he says softly, his voice filled with sincerity."I don't want to lose you. Ayoko na ng stress at galit. Mahal kita, and I want us to be happy here." She looks at him, her eyes glistening with tears."Salamat, Ben. Pero sana, someday... makita ulit natin si Regie. That's the only way I can feel whole again." Benigno nods, holding her hand tightly. Deep down, he knows she's right. No matter how successful they become or how peaceful their new life is, the missing piece of their family will always leave a void. The De Veras quickly immerse themselves in the vibrant life of Vigan. They attend the city's famous festivals, where Christine marvels at the kaleidoscope of colors from the street dancers in traditional abel fabrics. Benigno, ever the food lover, indulges in empanada, bagnet, and longganisa, praising each dish with a hearty laugh."Christine, bakit ngayon lang natin ito naisip?" he says, biting into a freshly fried empanada."Ang saya pala dito. Ang sarap ng pagkain!" Christine chuckles, though her smile is tinged with sadness."Oo nga, Ben. Pero alam mo, ang ganitong kasiyahan, parang kulang pa rin. Parang may hinahanap pa rin ang puso ko." Benigno nods but doesn't press further. Instead, he takes her hand and leads her to the stalls showcasing handwoven crafts and pottery. On weekends, they explore Ilocos Sur's natural wonders. They visit the Bantay Bell Tower, taking in the breathtaking view of the mountains and plains. Christine marvels at the serene beauty of the Quirino Bridge and the calming waves at Sabangan Cove. As they cross the Abra River one afternoon, Christine whispers,"Kung kasama lang natin si Regie, siguro mas masaya ang buhay natin dito." Benigno squeezes her hand, his voice soft but firm."Christine, we can't keep holding on to what-ifs. Regie made his choice. We have to make ours." One night, as they drive back from Caoayan after visiting a local market, the couple passes by a university illuminated by dim yellow lights. The building's tall arches and sprawling grounds remind Christine of Regie's college days. She bites her lip, trying to hold back tears, but the memories come rushing back—the mornings she packed his lunch, the evenings he stayed late to study."Christine," Benigno says gently, noticing her wiping her eyes."What's wrong?" She looks at him, her voice barely above a whisper."Naalala ko si Regie. Ganito ang mga oras na pauwi siya mula sa school. Pero ngayon, hindi ko na alam kung saan siya. Ano na kayang ginagawa niya?" Benigno pulls the car over and turns to her, his face etched with concern."Christine, okay lang 'yan. We'll get through this, together. We've been trying to live peacefully, di ba? Let's not let the past keep hurting us." But even as he speaks, Benigno's mind drifts to the same thought that has haunted him for a year. Where is Regie now? Back home, the couple sits in silence on their balcony, the cool evening breeze carrying the faint hum of tricycles from the town. Christine sips her tea, her thoughts distant."Ben," she says softly, breaking the silence."What if hindi na natin siya makita ulit? Paano kung..." Benigno interrupts her, his voice steady."Hindi tayo dapat mawalan ng pag-asa. Kung nasaan man siya, alam ko, mahal pa rin niya tayo. At kung may pagkakataon, babalik siya." Christine looks at him, her eyes glistening."Sana nga, Ben. Sana." As the night deepens, they sit quietly, their thoughts consumed by the same question: Where is Regie now?