The Spellbook Society - Harry Potter Fanfiction Anthology

The morning light filtered into the staffroom at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, illuminating dust motes that danced in the air as if enjoying a private waltz. Professor McGonagall sat in her usual seat, already nursing a cup of strong tea. Her thin lips pressed tightly together as she shuffled through the day's lesson plans. Beside her, Professor Flitwick was perched on a pile of cushions, humming lightly as he graded some tests with great care. It was, by all accounts, a perfectly normal morning.r

That is, until Dolores Umbridge swept into the room.r

Dolores Jane Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic and the newly appointed Hogwarts High Inquisitor, arrived in a cloud of pink. And not just any pink — no, this was the most vivid, saccharine shade of pink one could imagine, like an overripe strawberry mixed with too much sugar. Her squat frame was draped in a cardigan that looked suspiciously like it had been knitted by an elderly grandmother who specialized in cloying affection.r

"Good morning!" Umbridge chirped, her voice dripping with saccharine sweetness. It was the sort of voice one might expect from a doll that had been left too long in the attic, a bit tinny, a bit brittle, but insistent nonetheless.r

Professor McGonagall didn't even look up from her papers, but her knuckles whitened slightly as she gripped her quill tighter. "Dolores," she acknowledged tersely.r

"Oh, Minerva, must we be so formal?" Umbridge's wide, toad-like smile spread across her face. "We're colleagues now, after all!"r

McGonagall allowed her spectacles to slide down her nose as she glanced over them at the woman in pink. "Indeed," she said. The single word held the weight of a hundred carefully chosen insults.r

Professor Snape, who had been lurking in a dark corner of the staffroom — naturally — raised an eyebrow, his expression somewhere between amusement and disdain. He hadn't been fond of the new regime, but he had to admit, watching Umbridge's relentless cheeriness rub the other teachers the wrong way had provided him with endless entertainment. Particularly when that victim was McGonagall.r

"Ah, Severus," Umbridge said, turning toward him as if suddenly realizing he existed. "I trust you're doing well? Still teaching… what was it again? Potions?"r

Snape's eyes glittered dangerously. "Yes, Dolores. Potions. As I have been for over a decade."r

"Ah, lovely, lovely," she said, her smile faltering for just a moment before snapping back into place like a tightly wound spring. "Such an important subject, though I do think there might be some… adjustments necessary to your curriculum. A tad too much focus on theory, don't you think? Perhaps a bit more practical application would be better suited to today's educational climate."r

"I will take that under advisement," Snape said smoothly, his voice silken with disdain. "Though, might I point out that the majority of my students already struggle with brewing even the simplest of potions? I would hate to overwhelm them with more… practical matters."r

"Oh, but we mustn't coddle the children!" Umbridge said, clapping her hands together with forced glee. "They must be prepared for the real world. We can't have them running around with half-baked ideas about magic, now can we?"r

McGonagall coughed delicately into her hand, though to the more observant, it might have sounded suspiciously like a stifled laugh. Snape's lips twitched — just a fraction — but he caught himself before the expression could fully form.r

As Umbridge prattled on about her grand plans for Hogwarts, Flitwick cleared his throat and leaned in toward McGonagall. "How much longer do you think this will go on?"r

McGonagall gave the Charms professor a sidelong glance. "If we're lucky, not long. If we're unlucky…" She trailed off, but the implication was clear: Umbridge could be a permanent fixture in their lives. A thought more terrifying than a Dementor's kiss.r

"I've heard rumors," came a low voice from the other end of the room. Professor Sprout had just entered, her cheeks flushed from tending to the greenhouses in the crisp morning air. "Some of the students are already calling her 'the toad.'"r

Snape smirked. "How apt."r

"Oh dear," Flitwick said, his eyes twinkling despite the seriousness of the conversation. "I suppose we shouldn't encourage that sort of behavior."r

"No," McGonagall said, though there was a certain satisfaction in her tone. "We most certainly should not."r

At that moment, Umbridge rounded on the group, her eyes glittering with excitement. "Now, I do hope you're all ready for this afternoon's staff meeting. We have some very important matters to discuss. Very important." She enunciated the words with great relish, as though savoring the power they represented.r

McGonagall's brow furrowed. "Staff meeting? I wasn't aware of any —"r

"Oh, it's just something I've arranged," Umbridge interrupted, her smile broadening to show too many teeth. "As High Inquisitor, I thought it would be useful to go over a few… areas of concern. A thorough review of your teaching methods, if you will."r

Flitwick looked alarmed. "But I've been teaching Charms for —"r

"Oh, I'm sure you're doing a fine job, Filius," Umbridge said, waving a hand dismissively. "But still, one can always improve, can't they?"r

The staffroom fell into an awkward silence as the teachers exchanged glances. This was no ordinary staff meeting. This was the beginning of something much worse. Something far more insidious.r

Snape leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "And what, precisely, will this… review entail, Dolores?"r

"Oh, nothing too strenuous," Umbridge said airily, though her eyes glinted with barely concealed glee. "Just a few observations here and there. A little feedback. Perhaps some… constructive criticism."r

McGonagall's grip on her quill tightened again. If she snapped it, no one would have been surprised.r

Flitwick coughed again, this time in genuine discomfort. "I… I see. Well, I suppose we should prepare, then."r

"Absolutely," Umbridge said, beaming. "Oh, and one more thing." She paused dramatically, ensuring that all eyes were on her. "I've drafted a new set of educational decrees. They'll be posted in the entrance hall by lunch."r

"More decrees?" Sprout asked, frowning. "Isn't thirty quite enough?"r

"Oh, Professor Sprout," Umbridge said with an indulgent smile. "We can't ever have enough rules, can we?"r

McGonagall stood suddenly, her chair scraping against the stone floor with a sharp screech. "Dolores," she began, her tone icy, "while I appreciate your… enthusiasm, I would advise caution. Hogwarts has operated quite successfully for centuries without the need for such heavy-handed interference."r

Umbridge's smile didn't waver, though her eyes darkened just slightly. "Oh, Minerva. I do understand your concerns. But you see, the Ministry feels that Hogwarts could benefit from a… fresh perspective. A little more structure. I'm simply here to help."r

"I see," McGonagall said, her lips pursed so tightly that they practically disappeared. "Well, far be it from me to stand in the way of progress."r

With that, McGonagall swept from the room, her tartan robes billowing behind her like a storm cloud. The remaining teachers sat in silence, the weight of the conversation pressing down on them.r

Snape stood next, his black cloak swirling around him as he moved toward the door. "This is going to be a disaster," he muttered, though there was a note of dark amusement in his voice. "And I, for one, plan to enjoy every moment of it."r

Flitwick sighed, his tiny shoulders slumping. "I suppose we should… get ready, then."r

Sprout nodded in agreement, though she wore the expression of someone bracing for a hurricane. "I'll prepare the greenhouses. I've got a feeling we'll be needing a lot more calming draughts in the coming weeks."r

As the staffroom emptied, Umbridge stood alone, her wide smile still plastered on her face. She hummed lightly to herself, her pink cardigan glowing in the morning light as she left the room, utterly oblivious to the storm she had just unleashed on Hogwarts.