The True Feelings of a Tsundere Are Showing

7. Unfinished Life

As a proud college student in Korea, I always had a wish.

“······I don’t want to wake up.”

That is the wish that today would be the only day of public lectures a week.

Why is today Tuesday?

Why is today not Wednesday, the day of public lectures?

When this thought came to my mind, regret overtook me that I should have set my class on Tuesday.

‘Isn’t it, then I guess I’ll regret it again tomorrow.’

Of course, I am a person who is very good at self-objectification.

Every time that thought crossed his mind, he shook his head telling himself.

While I was staying up late with that thought in mind, I heard my mother’s voice outside, just like yesterday.

“Son! Are you awake?”

“I just woke up.”

“Get ready, Seo-ah is already waiting for you.”

“······· Huh?”

I wondered if I had heard it wrong, so I quickly checked the time on my smartphone.

All I see are 7 and 30.

There are still two hours left before the start of the first period.

I threw away yesterday, so why did I prepare today so quickly?

“Mom.”

“What’s up, son?”

“Since there are still two hours left to Seoah Han, can’t I tell her to go back?”

“What do you mean, son. Are you saying that you want to die at the hands of her mother?”

“······I’ll prepare and leave.”

“Yes, well thought out, son.”

Mom will wait while eating fruit in the living room with Seo-ah!

Listening to the news that made me sigh just by listening to it, I started roughly organizing my outfit.

And then, I had a sudden thought.

“······Is Hanseo outside right now?”

I have to go outside the room to wash up.

Looking at the state of my hair right now, I could never go out without a hat on.

It wasn’t because I was embarrassed to show this to Han Seo-ah.

We’ve already seen each other, but what?

My mother says that when she was very young, she even took a bath with me, but she honestly can’t remember.

-Wow, her hair is twisted. It’s really disgusting, Siwoo.

– Can I take a picture? See you whenever you’re depressed.

I didn’t want to hear the disgusting words Han Seo-ah would say after seeing this situation.

Every time I hear that, I strangely feel like human garbage.

Those who haven’t heard of this can’t relate.

“······What can we do?”

It really felt like my eyes went dark.

I feel like I can’t do anything because the road ahead is bleak.

I sent KakaoTalk to Seo-ah Han with the feeling of grabbing at least the last straw.

—–

[Hey] – Me

[Why doesn’t it come out quickly and it’s hot] – Han Seo-ah

[Can’t I stay at your house for a while?] – Me

[??? You suddenly said you would come to my house?] – Han Seo-ah

[No, you, not me] – Me

[What nonsense, I came all the way because you didn’t throw me away yesterday] – Han Seo-ah

[No, do you want to see what I can’t see? I haven’t washed yet;] – I

[Ehh, are you shy just because you’re old? Okay. Is it okay if I go out for a while?] – Han Seo-ah

[Thank you so much, Aya Seo.] – I

[······Can you stop suddenly adding dots and dots? It gives me goosebumps] – Han Seo-ah

[Then I’ll leave now, so get ready as soon as possible] – Seoah Han

—–

“Seo-ah, where are you going?”

“I left something at home for a while, so I’m going to get some.”

“Oops, bring it quickly!”

“Yes. I’ll be right back, mother.”

The voices of Han Seo-ah and her mother are heard as soon as the last call arrives.

Now was the opportunity.

It was surprising that Han Seo-ah, who was always playful, withdrew so smoothly, but she had no timing other than now.

Knock-

The moment I quickly opened the door thinking that I had to finish the preparations as quickly as possible.

“Oh, I almost didn’t bring my phone…”

“····.”

Her eyes met head-on with Seo Ah Han, who had just turned her steps from the front door, saying that she hadn’t taken her cell phone.

······Damn life.

As expected, this life has been wasted.

***

Because I left much earlier than usual, I was in a quiet bus.

“Lee Siu?”

“····.”

“Are you really mad?”

I was in the middle of ignoring Han Seo-ah’s words.

Knowing Hanseo, she said, frowning as if she couldn’t understand.

“I said I’m sorry. But why are you doing that?”

“······I said sorry.”

– Hey, you…

– Poohup. No sorry I’m not laughing on purpose… Whoops.

It was just an expression of sorry mixed with ridicule.

“····.”

Hanseo, as if she had nothing to say about it, she quietly shut her mouth.

Okay, hold still for a moment.

Because I really want to be alone right now.

That’s how we maintained an eternity of silence.

One stop, two stops.

I stayed silent even when I was only one stop away from arriving at school.

The first person to break this silence that seemed like it would never end was none other than Han Seo-ah.

“······Lee Siu?”

Certainly, Seoah Han’s voice is much more relaxed than before.

It sounded like the voice of a criminal who had committed some mortal sin.

“Are you okay now?”

“······Uh, more than before.”

By the way, I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been resting for a while, but I feel much better.

It was safe to assume that he was a different person from the person just before, who expressed his broken heart with his whole body.

‘······Well, it’s not really something to get angry about.’

As I said earlier, Seoah Han and I had already seen each other.

The reason why she kept showing her broken heart on the bus was because Han Seo-ah laughed at her, not because she showed her something she would never see.

“Really? Thank God.”

She smiled as if she felt relieved now that she knew that she couldn’t imagine my thoughts even in her dreams.

Looking at my soft voice, he must have been really worried that I might have gone mad.

I don’t know if it’s because of my mood, but I suddenly felt guilty.

“I thought I couldn’t talk to you today.”

“·····.

“Right, it was just slightly worse than usual. It was no different from you on the weekend.”

“····.”

Does that really mean that he wants to comfort me?

Or does it just mean that it’s no different than usual, so just do it?

I don’t think it’s a lie since I can’t even see the inner sentence like yesterday.

Fortunately, this question was soon resolved.

“You were surprised earlier. I really only thought you were upset about this.”

“······Really?”

“Uh. It hasn’t been a day or two since I’ve seen you ugly. It’s not a bit of a pout to show you a slightly uglier side than usual.”

[It’s okay, Siwoo. Because that sloppy appearance is just cute to me.]

[The usual calm Siwoo is cool, but I really like this cute Siwoo sometimes.]

Because Han Seo-ah’s inner feelings that appeared as soon as she spoke clearly told her that what she just said was something she didn’t even have in her heart.

Anyway, it’s a little creepy that this one is cute too.

A while ago, even now when I think about it, I was filthy ugly.

I wasn’t even particularly handsome.

However, I thought I looked cute in that situation.

I only found out that the heart of Han Seo-ah, who had not yet been revealed to me, was beyond my imagination.

······It felt like my face was getting hot for no reason.

The news that the four seasons are gone must have been true.

Looking at how hot the weather is already, even though it’s only April.

Seoah Han also said in a surprised voice as if she had finally found me like that.

“What’s wrong with your face?”

“······What.”

“You’re much redder than before? Did you catch a cold?”

“It’s only April yet. What kind of cold is it? It’s just because it’s hot.”

“It’s hot? You complained about being cold on the way back yesterday too.”

“····.”

Did I?

Now that I think about it, I think it was like that.

“A person could be cold yesterday and hot today.”

“······Is that so?”

“Uh. In the desert, the temperature difference between day and night can be up to 60 degrees.”

“······This is Korea?”

Hanseo frowns as if that is nonsense.

Hmm, did I put too much effort into it?

But what if I can’t come up with a suitable example other than this?

Embarrassed by Han Seo-ah’s unexpected refutation, I started talking about her words that popped into her head.

“These days, desertification is in progress in Korea.”

“······Suddenly?”

“If that’s a lie, it’s only April yet and it can’t be this hot.”

“I’m not very hot?”

“······Yes, actually, it’s because of you. Right now, Hanseo, I’m dying of heat because of you.”

“······Is it because of me?”

“Oh. It’s so hot right now because of you…”

It was only after pouring out for a while that I realized what mistake I had made.

“······It’s annoying and hot because of you.”

“······· Huh?”

“I feel so bad that you laughed at me earlier. It’s hot. Got it?”

“Was it like that?”

“Have you ever misunderstood another word?”

“······No, I’m not mistaken.”

I tried to resolve it as much as possible, but judging from that sentence, it seemed that it was already too late.

[I was surprised. Because Siwoo said he was hot because of me…]

[For a moment, I thought that Siwoo was of the same mind as me.]

Han Seo-ah’s inner heart, which shows the exact opposite sentence to what she is still saying.

Now that I’m looking at my inner thoughts, the words I just said without thinking about it came to me even more embarrassing.

What was I really thinking when I said that?

This is all because of Han Seo Ah.

Why are you making me embarrassed by suddenly showing you that you like me?

I forcibly muttered words that were not in my heart.

Because if I didn’t do this at least, I couldn’t stop my beating heart, which started beating fast from a while ago.

I’ve talked about it before.

As expected, it was clear that this life was wasted.