The World Has Become Kinder to Her

Though Theodore wore a smile, his purple eyes were steady, and while his fingers twirled her hair seductively, there was a restrained control behind it.  

This man was the epitome of both logic and allure, a walking contradiction.  

Lotus let out a faint sigh.  

“You never let me win, do you?”  

“I’m only giving you the answer you wanted when you tried to test me, Lotus.”  

Not *Lady*, but *Lotus.* Even though the words he spoke were shameless, there was a small victory in hearing him call her by name.  

Now, Lotus was certain. Those flustering words that made her ears burn—Theodore could only say such things if he had experienced the same events, if he had also regressed.  

“Did you have to tell me in such a roundabout way?”  

“It’s just a bit of personal mischief layered over the breaking of our restraints,” Theodore replied.  

*Restraints.* That word—one Lotus had casually used—came out of Theodore’s mouth as well.  

But the word that followed left her feeling far more unsettled.  

“Personal mischief?”  

“Yes. I’m a little upset with you.”  

For someone like him, that was an unusually direct admission of emotion. Lotus stared at him, wide-eyed.  

“Are you angry about what happened at the Harvest Festival ball?”  

For using him for her own purposes, for daring to manipulate him.  

Theodore sighed lightly at her question.  

“You must think quite poorly of me.”  

“Well, it’s not like we’ve had many interactions in this lifetime aside from that night.”  

Theodore’s eyes glinted mischievously as he whispered, as if he were handing her another riddle to solve.  

“Then I’ll add another mystery for you to ponder, Lotus.”  

Lotus rubbed her temples, groaning, “Please don’t. My head is already a mess as it is.”  

This man, who was so hard to read—cold one moment, gentle the next—always softened when he saw her in distress.  

Her mind and emotions were like a ticking magical bomb, and she didn’t have the capacity to deal with Theodore’s playful riddles on top of it all.  

A cool, pale hand pressed against her forehead.  

“You have a slight fever,” he said.  

His cool touch seemed to drain the heat from her body, and it felt good. Slowly, his hand slid down, gently brushing over her eyes and caressing her cheek. Wherever his fingers touched, the warmth seemed to dissipate.  

“You should rest well.”  

“I’d love to if I could,” Lotus replied, not in an attempt to be difficult.  

Tomorrow, she had to attend the tea party hosted by Princess Asilia. Considering the preparations, she’d need to start early in the morning.  

Theodore continued to gaze intently at her, his hand lingering on her cheek. His lips parted slowly.  

“It’s strange.”  

“…?”  

“I thought I’d have a lot to say when I saw you again.”  

“I feel the same way,” Lotus replied.  

There were so many things she wanted to ask, so many things to confront him about when they were alone. Yet now, she didn’t know where to begin.  

“I didn’t get to say this at the ball, but… I’m glad to see you again, Lotus,” Theodore said, smiling. This time, it was different from the cold smile he had given Rikheus.  

“Does living a second life make you more forgiving? You seem a bit different, Theodore.”  

“And yet you haven’t changed,” he responded.  

*You haven’t changed.* Of course, she hadn’t.  

Her will had never influenced the world around her, which changed through events like regression. Without the power to make choices, how could she change?  

However, in her deadened heart, three things had rung like bells recently.  

First, when Kenneth confessed that he wanted her heart, not just her body.  

Second, when Frederick admitted that he had struggled because he wanted to see her so desperately.  

And lastly, now, when the man standing before her told her he was glad to have met her again.

The smile lingered on Theodore’s face, but his violet eyes were resolute, and while his touch, twirling her hair, was seductive, there was restraint in it.  

He was the most rational, alluring, and contradictory person Lotus had ever met.  

She let out a soft sigh.  

“You never let me win, not even once.”  

“I simply gave you the answer you were looking for, Lotus,” he replied.  

Not *Lady Estelle,* but *Lotus.* Despite the embarrassing words exchanged, there was a small victory in hearing him speak to her so intimately.  

Lotus was now certain. The shameless words, the intimate knowledge—he wouldn’t have been able to say them unless he had also regressed.  

“Did you really have to tell me like this?”  

“It’s just a bit of personal mischief mixed with breaking through certain constraints,” Theodore said.  

*Constraints.* That was a word Lotus had used before, and now it came from Theodore’s lips as well.  

But the word that followed unsettled her even more.  

“Personal mischief?”  

“Yes. I’m a little angry at you.”  

For someone like him, it was an uncharacteristically candid admission of emotion. Lotus widened her eyes, staring at him in surprise.  

“Are you angry about what happened at the Harvest Festival ball?”  

For daring to use him for her own purposes.  

Theodore sighed softly.  

“You must think I’m petty.”  

“That was our only real encounter in this lifetime, wasn’t it?”  

Theodore, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, whispered again, as if delivering yet another riddle.  

“Let me give you one more mystery to ponder, Lotus.”  

“Please don’t. My head’s already spinning,” Lotus grumbled, rubbing her forehead.  

This man, who always seemed so cool and unreadable—he always softened when she was in pain.  

Her mind felt like a ticking time bomb, and she had no room left to deal with his games.  

A cool, pale hand pressed against her forehead.  

“You have a slight fever,” Theodore observed.  

His cold hand drew away the warmth, and the sensation was comforting. Slowly, his hand moved down, brushing gently over her eyes and caressing her cheek. Wherever his fingers passed, the heat seemed to disappear.  

“You should rest,” he said softly.  

“I’d love to,” Lotus replied, meaning it this time.  

She had to attend the tea party hosted by Princess Asilia tomorrow, which meant starting preparations early in the morning.  

Theodore was still gazing at her intently, his hand resting on her cheek. He finally spoke, his voice low.  

“It’s strange.”  

“…?”  

“I thought I’d have so much to say when I saw you again.”  

“I felt the same,” Lotus admitted.  

There were so many questions, so many things to confront him about when they were alone. But now that she was here, she didn’t know where to begin.  

“I didn’t get the chance to say it at the ball, but… I’m glad to see you again, Lotus,” he said, smiling. This time, the smile was warm—completely different from the cold one he had given Rikheus.  

“Is living a second life making you more forgiving? You seem a little different, Theodore.”  

“And yet you haven’t changed,” he replied.  

*You haven’t changed.* Of course, she hadn’t.  

With the world changing around her through regression, her will had never been a factor. Without the power to make choices, how could she change?  

Still, three events had recently rung like bells in her otherwise deadened heart.  

First, when Kenneth confessed that he wanted her heart, not just her body.  

Second, when Frederick admitted that he had been desperate to see her.  

And third, when the man standing before her said he was glad to have met her again.  

The Lotus of the past had believed she wasn’t loved by anyone, but now it seemed she had meant something to these men, leaving her feeling strangely unsettled.  

“Yes, I’m afraid,” she admitted.  

Her response was cryptic—most wouldn’t understand it right away—but Theodore easily grasped the meaning behind her words.  

She was afraid of change, afraid of what lay ahead. He knew exactly what that fear stemmed from.  

“Until you fully understand the root of your fear, it’s your battle to fight. But once you’ve figured it out, you won’t have to face it alone,” Theodore said.  

“Are you sure you’re not overestimating me, Theodore?”  

“No, I made the mistake of underestimating you before,” he replied.  

In Lotus’s wide green eyes, he saw a flicker of something, and she offered him a small, almost bitter smile.  

“If I had valued you more, perhaps I wouldn’t have lost you back in the Pheton region. Perhaps we wouldn’t have met like this again.”  

“Theodore…”  

“This time, I won’t be caught off guard, Lotus. There won’t be another opportunity,” he said with a familiar smile. It felt like both a reprimand for the past and a warning to the present, telling her not to repeat the mistake of her previous life. It sent a chill down her spine.  

“…I don’t understand why you’re doing this,” Lotus muttered.  

“You don’t need to understand. It won’t change anything.”  

“…”  

“You’ll do what you want, and I’ll do what I want,” Theodore said. His words seemed to invite her to act freely, but they felt more like a veiled threat.  

Conversations with Theodore often went this way. It wasn’t unusual, but tonight it felt especially unsettling. Perhaps it was the strange smile she had seen on his face earlier.  

‘…That was a new expression,’ she thought.  

For a moment, she thought that perhaps he wasn’t as perfect as he seemed, that he was more human than she had realized.  

“You must have a lot of questions, Lotus.”  

“But you won’t answer them easily, will you?”  

“It’s not intentional. I simply want to hand you the weapon to realize things for yourself.”  

“You’re saying I need to perceive the truth on my own before I can act on it, or even attack it.”  

“If only more people were like you, conversations would be much easier.”  

“And if more people were like you, I think I’d keep my mouth shut all day,” Lotus retorted, her tone slightly sulky.  

Theodore stared at her for a moment before speaking again.  

“When Frederick wakes, I’ll invite both of you to my estate.”  

The offer took her by surprise. This time, it was Lotus who stared at him, trying to figure out his intent.  

The two people he referred to were likely Frederick and Kenneth. It seemed there was some strange connection between these three men.  

“In the meantime, spend the remaining time reading and eating well, Lotus,” he said, a cryptic farewell.  

It was a strange feeling, hearing such words from a man who had, at some point, started preparing tailored meals for her based on his observations of her eating habits.  

The guards and high walls of the Estelle estate were no real obstacle for Theodore. Using a levitation spell, he gently lowered Lotus inside the walls.  

Moving carefully, she entered the mansion.  

Once she reached her bedroom, she collapsed onto the floor without realizing it.  

Knowing that Theodore had also regressed, along with Kenneth and Frederick, made her head spin.  

Lotus crawled onto her bed like a child, feeling dizzy.  

─ *How did I not realize that brat William was so arrogant and insufferable?*  

She thought of Rikheus, who seemed more suspicious than ever.  

─ *I didn’t get to say it at the ball, but I’m glad to see you again, Lotus.*  

─ *If I had valued you more, perhaps I wouldn’t have lost you back in the Pheton region.*  

─ *I simply want to hand you the weapon to realize things for yourself.*  

The significance of Theodore’s words lingered in her mind as she drifted into the depths of her thoughts.  

It wasn’t until dawn that she finally managed to fall asleep, still caught in the mire of her thoughts.  

***  

He felt a gaze like that of a curious cat stealing glances at him, so he asked,  

“Are you alright, my lady?”  

As if waiting for that exact moment, Lotus threw out words that would shake him to his core.  

“…Kiss me.”  

Lotus was a strange woman.  

Even though she was well aware of the tension between herself and Rikheus, and quick to notice when something was wrong with her body, she seemed utterly oblivious to the desires and affection others harbored for her.  

It didn’t matter. Her emotional unawareness, even more pronounced because of the walls she had built around herself, brought a strange sense of relief.  

“I told you before, I’m not sure I can stop at just a kiss,” he warned again, his voice teasing as her trembling green eyes only made him want to say something even more mischievous.  

“If you want a more detailed explanation, I’m more than willing to provide one. I might hold you until there are tears in those pretty green eyes of yours. Out here, of all places. That would be quite inconvenient for both of us, wouldn’t it?”  

The look on her face was the same as ever, as if she wanted to slap him.  

That was probably enough to make Lotus realize that he, too, had regressed.  

“I’ll give you one more riddle to ponder, Lotus, since you seem to have so many questions.”  

“Please don’t. My head already hurts and it’s too much to think about,” she groaned, rubbing her temples, her frustration evident.  

As he let a bit of his playful side show, Lotus protested as if asking for mercy.  

Theodore quietly called out to Salia in his mind, the spirit with whom he shared a bond.  

‘Let me borrow some of your power, Salia.’  

‘Why? What are you planning? Wait, you’re not thinking of absorbing that bit of Gaap’s energy from her, are you?’  

‘Salia, your insight has improved. I’m impressed.’  

‘You jerk! I’m not helping! You’re already pushing yourself too far. Didn’t I tell you not to use the Talisman of Covenant?’  

‘As you can see, I had no other choice in the matter.’  

‘…Doesn’t seem like it to me.’  

‘It’s true. If Lotus falters, then everything we’ve worked for—our contract and the very purpose of our regression—will become meaningless.’  

With a resigned sigh, Salia lent him a portion of her power.  

Because of the wound Theodore had suffered from Gaap before the regression, he unwillingly harbored traces of demonic energy within him.  

Energy always flowed toward the stronger source, and as his cool hands touched Lotus’s face, gently brushing her eyes and cheeks, the faint trace of demonic energy in her was absorbed into him.  

Healing her while satisfying his own selfish desires—he thought it wasn’t a bad trade, especially considering the pain he would have to endure later as the price.  

“It’s strange, isn’t it?”  

“…”  

“I thought I’d have so much to say when I saw you again.”  

Yet moments like this didn’t need words.  

There were times when just meeting each other’s gaze and feeling the warmth of the other’s presence was enough.  

“…I don’t understand why you’re doing this,” Lotus muttered, her voice filled with uncertainty.  

It was natural that she wouldn’t understand. He had never fully confessed his feelings to her in the past, and he had no intention of doing so now.  

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand.”  

“…”  

“You’ll do what you want, and I’ll do what I want. That’s all there is to it.”  

He meant it. The Lotus he knew wasn’t someone who could be forced into doing anything. He would just have to put in more effort.  

He would prepare for every possible scenario, accounting for every variable, and fortify the plans that ensured her safety—no matter what actions she took or what the future held.