This Wasn’t an Erotic Game?

Chapter 5
A Twisted Smile
『 Translator – Divinity 』

Devil worshipers.

Beings who bring all sorts of turmoil, conflict, war, and slaughter to the human world.

Beings who become even stronger by offering human blood to the Evil God.

Due to the nature of the god they serve, they are said to be specialized in disguising themselves as people of a certain status, endlessly instigating conflict, and disrupting society.

It is said that skilled devil worshipers are truly difficult to identify because they cannot be distinguished even with divine magic, and because of this, there are still many devil worshipers secretly active throughout society…

Or so I knew.

But of all people, the priest from the Sun Church who came to interrogate me was a devil worshiper?

What kind of coincidence is this?

I was relieved that I had escaped being hanged, but only for a moment.

“A saint!! He is undoubtedly a saint!”

“Saint! Heal us!!”

“My daughter is sick!! Please heal my daughter!!”

Listening to the unprecedentedly explosive cheers of the poor people, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had made a mistake.

Even if I said now, “I’m not a saint. I’m just a pathetic loser trying to prevent the end of the world with erotic game skills,” no one would listen to me anymore.

“I need to rest for a while. Please provide me with food and a place to lie down.”

Anyway, I was too tired.

I guess it was because I was so tense when the people from the Sun Church arrived, and now that tension had all been released at once.

I said I was so tired I felt like I was going to die, and in less than five minutes, a bed for me to lie down on and a fairly decent meal (by slum standards) were prepared in front of me.

I ate the food, lay down on the soft bed they had procured from somewhere, and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

And when I opened my eyes again, I saw priests of the Sun Church lined up in front of me, along with dozens of paladins and police armed with pistols and batons, and I just wanted to sleep forever.

“Are you the Healing Saint of the Lilia Church?”

An elderly-looking priest looked down at me and asked quietly.

I slowly sat up in bed.

What were they here to say?

Are you going to expose that there was a devil worshiper in our Sun Church and that you’re trying to steal our potential customers in our territory?

This son of a bitch came to ruin our business.

Is this going to be a ‘you’re a heretic, so die’ ending?

I think I’m going to piss myself.

My legs are giving out, I think I’m going to piss myself.

What am I supposed to do when you show me this as soon as I wake up? Seriously.

“I don’t belong to any specific religious sect. I merely care for the lowly.”

I’ll really only pretend to be a saint for a month and then disappear. I won’t do business in your territory, so please spare my life…

“Thank you, Saint.”

Suddenly, the old priest in front of me bowed his head respectfully. Not only did he bow, but he also took my hand and gently kissed the back of it.

…What in the world is going on?

“Thanks to you, we were able to find the devil worshiper. It also gave us an opportunity to reflect on the mistakes our Sun Church has made.”

The old priest looked up at the sky.

The bright sun shone down on the earth from the clear sky.

It shone on the slums just the same.

“We had forgotten for so long that there are no eternal shadows and no eternal light. That the sun shines equally on everyone’s head.”

While I was blinking my eyes, thinking I should just keep my mouth shut, the old priest who kissed the back of my hand turned around.

“We interrogated the devil worshiper who infiltrated our church yesterday!! He confessed that he tried to turn the Sun Church into a gathering of greedy people!! A church for the wealthy! He confessed that he wanted to make it a church that rejects the poor!!”

The priest bowed to the poor people once again.

The other paladins and priests followed suit.

“Please forgive our foolishness. And please forgive our mistake of questioning the saint without recognizing him. The devil worshiper said! The moment the saint reached out his hand towards him, he felt his heart stop!”

Yeah.

That’s because I made a mistake and applied Time Stop to his heart instead of his legs.

“With that unexpected blow, the devil worshiper’s disguise was broken, and the evil magic that was concealing him was released! He was terrified of the saint and was executed yesterday! It’s an undeniable miracle! How can we doubt someone who has shown such a miracle!”

The old priest approached the heavily armed police officers.

“I, Alois, High Priest of the Sun Church, guarantee with my name that the saint lying on that bed is neither a heretic nor an unregistered illegal magic user. He is noble and virtuous. So protect him.”

“We will do that, High Priest.”

The old priest.

No.

High Priest Alois turned his gaze towards me.

“The police and the paladins of our church will escort you. We have contacted the Lilia Church, and their priests and paladins are on their way. Until they reach you, we will protect you. May the sun always shine upon you. And may Lilia of Grace watch over you.”

The High Priest bowed politely and then withdrew.

I couldn’t say anything and just watched the scene unfold.

Was it because the situation had worked out too well?

No.

It was because of what he said about contacting the Lilia Church.

I’m not a follower of Lilia.

I’ve never even mentioned the word Lilia, so how did this happen?!

Wouldn’t they realize the moment they saw me that I wasn’t a follower of Lilia?

And wouldn’t they accuse me of heresy for impersonating a saint sent by their god?

Wouldn’t it be incredibly hot when I’m burned at the stake?!??!?

Oh, shit, this is really…

I’m fucked.

I’m truly and utterly fucked.

Where’s the witch?! I need to heal her and get out of here quickly!

“Line up in order!”

“Don’t push each other! Someone could fall and get seriously injured!!”

“The Saint needs time to eat, drink, and rest!! There will be no healing during his break!!”

“We will prioritize children and those with serious injuries! Those with minor injuries who can wait, please do so!!”

The police and the paladins of the Sun Church were maintaining order.

There were no more accidents caused by people falling over in the overcrowded space.

Seeing the poor people lining up in an orderly fashion to receive healing from me, I wanted to cry.

I made up my mind.

At this rate, I would inevitably meet the people from the Lilia Church, they would find out that I wasn’t a follower of Lilia, and I would be burned at the stake for impersonating a saint.

Fortunately, it wasn’t too late.

I had just received recognition from the Sun Church. Couldn’t this be seen as gaining authority and fame?

Moreover, I now had knights and police officers at my disposal.

I had to use these people to find the witch as quickly as possible.

That was my only way to survive.

“Excuse me, knight.”

I said I would take a break from healing and called over a paladin from the Sun Church who was guarding me.

“Do you happen to know any mages or witches?”

“There is a Magic Tower in the capital. I know its location, but I don’t have any personal connections with any mages or witches.”

The Magic Tower.

Right.

Since she was a witch who used magic, wouldn’t the Magic Tower be the most likely place to find her?

“It doesn’t matter. Could you go to the Magic Tower and see if there’s a witch there with four arms and half of her face… covered with something like a mask?”

If what I saw in the prophecy was correct, the witch would surely have a hideously disfigured left side of her face.

So it was natural to assume that she would be covering it with a mask.

“Four arms, half of her face covered with a mask…?”

“Yes. She’s someone I must meet. Could you hurry and go check?”

“Anything for the Saint.”

The paladin nodded and immediately ran off somewhere.

Alright.

Let’s quickly meet the witch, heal her, and finish this before the people from the Lilia Church arrive.

That’s all I need to do.

I see a glimmer of hope.

I started healing again.

This dreadful role of a saint, where I could be hanged or burned at the stake at any moment…

I wanted to end it quickly.

***

Thüdel couldn’t stay in the Magic Tower; she was too frustrated.

She had to come up with new research.

Something far greater than that bitch Erpa, whom she wanted to tear to shreds.

While walking through the lobby on the first floor to leave the Magic Tower for a while to gather new research material, Thüdel’s gaze was drawn to a man in unusual attire who was standing in the lobby, someone who wouldn’t normally have business at the Magic Tower.

A man with the emblem of a burning flame on his chest.

A paladin of the Sun Church.

“You’re looking for a witch?”

“Yes. Is there a witch here with four arms and half of her face covered with a mask? The Healing Saint is looking for her.”

Thüdel, who had been listening to the conversation between the receptionist and the paladin, grew curious and intervened.

“You’re saying the Healing Saint is looking for a witch?”

“Yes, that’s right. Is there someone like that in this Magic Tower?”

Thüdel’s eyes narrowed.

“Why is he looking for someone like that?”

“I don’t know. But the Saint said that she is someone he must meet.”

“Is that so?”

Thüdel stared at the paladin with a strange look in her eyes, then smiled.

“Please wait a moment. I’ll go and check.”

“Thank you, witch.”

Thüdel gave the receptionist a subtle look that said not to say anything, then turned and went back up the Magic Tower.

Arriving in front of Erpa’s private research room, Thüdel knocked.

After a short while, Erpa opened the door, as always, with her left face hidden behind a silver mask.

Her visible right eye widened.

“Thüdel? What brings you here?”

She had a look of surprise, as if she hadn’t imagined that Thüdel would come looking for her.

Thüdel gave her a sweet smile.

“There’s a paladin in the lobby looking for you.”

“A paladin?”

“A paladin from the Sun Church, it seems.”

Erpa’s eyes narrowed.

Erpa had visited several churches for her research on miracles.

She had met with the Sun Church before, but not to the extent that they would personally seek her out like this.

“Why would the Sun Church be looking for me?”

“The Healing Saint is looking for you, apparently.”

Erpa looked momentarily blank.

The Healing Saint?

Why?

“Is he really looking for me?”

“He said he was looking for a witch with four arms and half her face covered by a mask. Is there another witch like that besides you?”

“…I understand. I’ll go down and see.”

Just as Erpa was about to close the door, Thüdel stopped her.

“Why is the Healing Saint looking for you?”

“How would I know?”

“Does it have anything to do with that hidden left face of yours?”

Erpa flinched slightly.

It was only for a fleeting moment, but Thüdel didn’t miss her reaction.

“It’s not like that. I told you, I just wear this mask as a decoration.”

“Hmm. Really? You seem a bit obsessive about wearing it for just a decoration.”

The right side of Erpa’s face contorted in displeasure.

“Do I have to explain my fashion choices to you?”

“No.”

Witches and mages are eccentric.

There was a mage who could only achieve results in his research when he was naked, a witch who always cast a spell on herself to walk on the ceiling, and a witch who had an unsightly number of piercings on her tongue and ears.

Among such deviants and eccentrics, a witch who covered half her face with a mask was considered quite normal.

So, Thüdel hadn’t given much thought to the mask covering Erpa’s left face until now.

But when the words “Healing Saint” and “left mask” connected, a thought struck her like lightning.

“I just thought you were hiding it because the inside of that left face was severely distorted and disfigured.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Aren’t you going to go down? Were you planning to secretly visit the Healing Saint and ask him to fix half of your face, but now you’re embarrassed because I caught you? If you’re going, I want to go too. Seeing the healing process might be helpful for my magical research.”

“It’s not like that! There’s a high chance he’s a fraud anyway! I was going to go down and refuse, but this works out well! You can tell him.”

Erpa, unusually, raised her voice.

“Now please leave. I have research to do.”

Erpa closed the door.

It was a cold dismissal, but the smile on Thüdel’s face wouldn’t fade.

Thüdel went down to the lobby on the first floor.

And she met with the paladin who had just arrived.

“After personally checking, I found that there is no witch with the appearance you described in the Magic Tower. I’m starting to think he might be looking for a dark magician.”

“Is… that so?”

A look of disappointment spread across the paladin’s face.

“I’m sorry, paladin.”

Thüdel replied nonchalantly.

“Thank you for checking, witch.”

The paladin bowed politely and then left.

Thüdel watched the paladin’s retreating figure for a long time.

A sinister, twisted smile played on her lips.