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Chapter 4: Coire of Dagda



***

What would an ocean be without a monster lurking in the dark? It would be like sleep without dreams.

Werner Herzog

***

 

How Carlton Lassiter ended up in a loving, committed, cohabitating relationship on or abouts his fortieth birthday is an interesting, albeit complicated, and honestly, very weird, series of events that he still isn't a hundred percent sure about, but he's made it this far so he's just going with it.

It's that or have another stroke, and one was more than enough for one lifetime.

Especially since it's a. the person he's in the loving something with was in a loving something with someone else a year ago, b. he was married to a completely different fourth person a year ago, and c. there are way more people living with Carlton than he ever thought was possible? Or that he ever imagined he could put up with?

Maybe that's why the last year is mostly a blur?

Who would have thought Mab/Marlowe wasn't the craziest thing in his life?

She's probably not going to be happy to learn she's been usurped.

***

There are a lot of things Carlton should have remembered throughout his life. Some more important than others. Some more an issue of ego or vanity than anything else, but he still should have remembered them. 

But he didn't because there was just so much, and there were just so many other things, and it's just a lot.

So, he didn't.

He's going to have to start leaving himself post-it notes of voicemails or something.

Anything, really.

Because if he forgets again, he probably won't survive it. 

Although Carlton would like it stated for the record that six shots seems a bit excessive since getting up and walking off one would have been more than sufficient to make the point.

Malcolm's always been a bit of a drama queen, though, and Hewett thinks it's funny to scare Guster. Guster himself has apparently been conditioned to see that as a sign of affection, and whenever Carlton suggests therapy, he just says he's already going.

Apparently, there are some things even doctors can't fix.

Regardless, Carlton is going to start leaving himself notes so he remembers these things in the future.

Malcolm is a drama queen (especially with a captive audience).

Hewett thinks it's funny to scare people.

Guster thinks abuse is a sign of affection.

Henry Spencer is failing ALL his anger management classes.

Juliet is quicker to solve things with violence than even Carlton is.

Shawn Spencer will go with the flow, then break down later in private and not tell anyone how bad it really is.

And Mab/Marlowe is still a bitch.

Also, Juliet is a terrifyingly accurate shot, even when she's sobbing.

What happens, to the best of Carlton's recollection, is that somehow his, and by extension, Hewett and Malcolm's investigation into a changeling-run drug ring collides with Juliet and, of course, Spencer and Guster's, investigation into a smuggling ring that turns out to be, you guessed it, smuggling drugs.

Now that he's looking back, there are definitely signs that Malcolm and Hewett knew what was up and went out of their way not to say anything.

That said, why Juliet or Guster didn't mention they were going to be in Santa Barbara hurt a bit more. Usually, she tried to meet up with him for coffee at least, and ever since he'd reluctantly admitted he considered Guster a friend, the other man hadn't shied away from blowing up his phone with non-sense, seemingly unbothered when Carlton didn't respond for a few hours.

If either of them had bothered to let him know, he might have taken the night off to have dinner with them or something. 

Anything that didn't end up with Carlton getting shot six times in the chest while Juliet, Spencer, and Guster looked on in horror. 

The lucky fucker was dead by the time Carlton sat up and picked the bullets out of his bloody chest. 

Maybe he should have waited until people weren't watching to do that because even Spencer started to look queasy, and Guster doubled over and heaved after the first one.

***

Henry's timely arrival with the shotgun wasn't any help either, but at least it shocked everyone out of their, well, shock and got them moving. Got the last of the gang rounded up and dragged off into the dark before their luck ran out. 

Still, maybe he should have stopped and said something?

But there were things to do, a job to do. An important one. One Carlton hadn't pushed aside for anything ever in his life. 

No point in starting now.

If nothing else, curiosity would ensure Juliet and Spencer didn't go far.

***

Carlton Lassiter has always occupied an odd place in Shawn's life. 

A weird mix of everything he despised and feared about his father and hated about himself in a weirdly attractive package. 

A constant reminder that he hadn't been good enough to do what Henry wanted and follow in his footsteps. 

Not because he wasn't sharp enough but because he'd always lacked the near-obsessive calling that was required to carry a badge and not lose his mind.

He's grown enough in the last few years to admit he respects the other man. All that justice and determination and barely restrained violence wrapped in a too-tall, too-blue-eyed man who was too much in every way.

Just the kind of person Shawn liked. 

Except it hadn't been that easy to like Lassie in the beginning, and it wasn't just because he was a cop like Henry.

No, there'd been some weird energy there from the beginning, and it hadn't been until Shawn had settled a bit more, seen a bit more, that he'd realized the respect was built on a bit more than like.

He had a crush, in Gus' words.

Had had a crush. 

Because he had Juliet, and he loved Juliet, and they fit together, and they made sense, and everyone had been waiting for so long for the two of them to figure their shit out.

He tried so hard for so long to be exactly what she needed.

And she'd tried to. Tried to understand and learn and grow herself in a way that meant their feelings weren't just pushed aside and forgotten.

It had been easy to tuck away the crush on the man that simultaneously made Shawn want to bite and scream. 

It had helped that Carlton and Juliet were almost always together. Demonstrating perfectly contrasting everything so Shawn always knew which one he should prefer.

And Carlton certainly made it easy to want to focus on someone else. 

All sharp edges and too long lines and that glint of cruelty. 

For all his nonsense, Shawn's never actually believed in magic or aliens or monsters. Humans were more than capable of being cruel and evil all on their own. He'd even laughed off Henry's more outlandish stories and superstitions. Laughing until Henry had just stopped mentioning them. He'd humored his father's few true warnings about safety and stay away from this street at night and don't ever go to this part of the port, Shawn, I mean it.

He did like driving Henry up the wall, but he didn't have a death wish.

And despite his prodigious talent at reading people, Lassiter had always been unique in his ability to surprise Shawn, even all these years later. Some things were obvious. By nature, Carlton wasn't one to keep secrets as much as he just didn't consider certain things important in certain situations. He categorized everything in his life according to his relationship with it or them, and very few things tended to spill over into other categories.

In contrast to Shawn's own, where there were no categories, and everything spilled over into everything else.

There was a terrifying discipline to it, and if he hadn't been so purposely distracted by Juliet, he would have noticed sooner. Would have locked on and dug and dug until he'd found out the truth.

Would have found out what that edge was. 

The sharpness of the lanky Irish detective that never quite fit right in the sun-filed world of Santa Barbara, dark underbelly aside.

There's some instinct deep inside, left over from some ancestor, that pings every time he sees Lassiter display any kind of violence. Whenever they're in any kind of dangerous situation, or Shawn is bored and needles Lassiter just a little too much. 

He's spent a lifetime learning to ignore any warning of danger because the likelihood of any of it actually happening to him is just so slim. Really. Crime and statistics are a thing, but there are just so many people in the world, even in just Santa Barbara, that the possibility that Shawn's going to be the one murdered in an alleyway is actually pretty small.

But life has always liked a good joke, hasn't she?

And Shawn's not so special that he's exempt.

And if he isn't, is anyone?

Henry actually looks guilty when Shawn turns to him, carefully avoiding his eyes and far too familiar with those two officers who usually shadow Lassie from a distance. 

Gus is twitching…because Avril Lavine and Zandaya and everyone in between knows Gus can't lie to save his life.

So, he knew.

Apparently, the only ones not in the loop were Shawn and Juliet.

Nice.

Shawn's not one generally prone to anger. Hurt, yes. Frustration, yes. Petulant moping and grudge-holding, yes. Slightly exaggerated vindictiveness, of course.

But he rarely gets ANGRY.

Henry gets angry, explosive, and loud. Gus gets angry, quiet, and simmering. Juliet gets angry, stiff, and unyielding.

….He's not sure he's ever seen Lassie angry….He thought so before tonight, but if Lassie can walk off six bullets to the chest, then Shawn probably hasn't seen anything yet.

But what is it that he hasn't seen?

What's he missing?

Lassie never said anything about the video Shawn left him, confessing everything. Juliet's convinced he didn't watch it.

But that implies a level of attachment Shawn can't believe.

There's no way he missed that…

Right? 

RIGHT?!

***

Shawn and Henry's heart-to-heart goes like this.

"I only ever wanted to protect you, Shawn. I swear."

"I get it." And he does. "They're terrifying." Thinking about Malcolm and Hewett and their sharp shark-like teeth and Lassiter and his beating heart in his shredded chest.

"They're good guys, Shawn. Just like us, there are good ones and bad ones."

And it's probably the greatest lesson anyone's ever been taught. And the only one Henry has given him that Shawn takes completely to heart.

"I'll teach you how to spot them."

"Okay. Thanks, Dad."

***

By the time Carlton's dug out the six bullets and the holes have mostly closed, Henry, Malcolm, and Hewett have the changelings rounded up, and Guster has stopped puking. Spencer and Juliet mostly look like they're not in shock anymore, and they both look weirdly fascinated by the twisted forms Malcolm and Hewett have taken.

Carlton can feel a bit of his own control slipping between the pain and the heavy scent of blood.

There's a throbbing anxiety beneath it all, worse than it's ever been before. Not since Beth and that night has he ever felt such terrible uncertainty and fear.

Just because Guster decided it was fine doesn't mean they will. 

And then what will happen? 

Regardless of who goes where and who sides with whom, in the end, Carlton will be alone.

Also, when the fuck did Guster find out??

But that's not the priority, which is horrible to think in multiple ways because he's not actually alone. Even when Mab finally gets bored and leaves for good, he'll have Lily. Even when Spencer finally can't stay still anymore, and Guster rushes after him, he'll have Malcolm and Hewett. 

Even when Juliet finally reaches her potential and leaves them all in the dust, he'll still have…

Well, he'll still have everyone else; he just won't have the partner he always dreamed of.

He'd survive.

He can make due.

But then Juliet hauls off and decks one of the changelings who decides to try and run and, without blinking an eye, drags him back over and says, "Well, what's the plan? Can't exactly put these guys in lock up."

Neither of them blink when Hewett tells her they have to kill them, though Guster looks vaguely ill.

Henry keeps trying to catch Spencer's eye, but his son does his usual admirable job of ignoring it until Henry gives up while they're covering the bodies in dirt in the forest just outside the city.

For a moment, Juliet and Guster look like they're going to go after them, but it only lasts a second before they both decide it's not worth the trouble and they all head to the nearest gas station and buy the biggest slushies they have while they wait.

Carlton's never tried the non-organic chemical slurry Spencer's so fond of, and two sips in, he realizes why. 

Stupid broken coffee machine.

It's like taking electrical shots straight to his heart. Fanatic chemical energy that makes it feel like he's trying to crawl out of his own skin, and he can't sit still.

Juliet calls it karma once she's reassured he's not having a heart attack, and it's clear Malcolm and Hewett are having the same reaction, and makes them run sprints on the quiet road until Henry and his son pull up in their truck.

Henry looks vaguely concerned until Juliet explains, and Shawn loudly declares its karma and shares a high five with Juliet.

It takes an hour of sprints, stopping just as the sun starts to come up, for any of them to feel anywhere near normal, and somehow, they all make their way back to Carlton's home, trailing after him like ducklings, feeling slightly more settled now that no one has run away screaming.

Carlton himself doesn't say anything.

He doesn't say anything on the drive back to his house.

He doesn't say anything as they play Tetris to fit all the vehicles on the block.

He doesn't say anything as they all follow him inside, Juliet and Spencer dumping their bags at the bottom of the stairs and Henry heading straight for the kitchen. 

Carlton goes upstairs to relieve the nanny and finally says something.

Well, he screams, in surprise, not fear, never fear, when he finds Francine and McNab instead of his regular nanny. 

He mostly screams because of Francine. She has a particularly monstrous transformation for a changeling, and even Carlton is afraid of running into her in a dark alley. 

Turns out Hewett and Malcolm called them when they came up with their horrible plan with Guster, and once Carlton's heart has returned to a semi-normal pace, and Lily is no longer screaming because her father was screaming, they all cram into the kitchen.

Henry makes eggs and bacon, Spencer, Shawn, makes pineapple pancakes while berating McNab for actually being able to keep a secret, and Juliet makes coffee while Guster, Francine, Malcolm, and Hewett play peek-a-boo with Lily, and three of them manage to look adorable despite being terrifying creatures of the night.

Carlton sips his coffee and eyes them all because they're all either too calm or too quiet, given whatever part they had in last night's setup.

He catches Juliet glancing at him a few times. Waiting for him to snap and say something. She used to use the same tactic when she'd figured something out about a case, but he was being stubborn.

A spark in his chest sends warmth all through him, and he doubles down, shoving pancakes and bacon into his mouth, and he'll never admit how good pineapple pancakes are and ignoring her. 

He's never won before, but today seems like it's turning into a good day, so who knows?

They end up holding out until everyone else has eaten a truly obscene amount of pancakes and coffee and bacon, and they're all playing a game of keep away from a hyper Lily; someone (Shawn) gave her sugar, and she's determined to get more, while Carlton and Juliet devolve into an outright staring contest and the rest of them just wait to see who's going to win.

"It's like watching two great whites face off," and Shawn sounded way less scared than he should have and way more something Gus didn't want to think about.

"I can't tell which one's the predator and which ones the prey," Gus hissed.

"They're both apex predators," McNab whispered.

"O'Hara."

"Carlton."

Francine, Malcolm, and Hewett just kept eating, seemingly unbothered by the battle for dominance.

"It's like some kind of National Geographic special."

"No. Shawn, do not go there. You know we always cry at those."

"The baby elephant was all on its own, Gus! How are we not going to cry? You know it never made it home!"

"We agreed never to mention that again, Shawn."

They fall into the argument with ease; they've had it too often, and they carry it through finishing breakfast, cleaning up, and everyone leaving for work. There's a moment where Carlton looks like he wants to demand they shut up, but instead, he just shoves Lily at them, and he and Juliet leave to settle their debate at the gun range.

So, Shawn and Gus carry their argument all the way through getting her ready for school, taking her to school, and walking her in. 

They only stop when her teacher wilts in obvious disappointment at the sight of them and unsubtly asks where Carlton is. 

She sneers at them when they both assure her, at the same time and in the same tone, that he's taken. 

"Wow, that was bold."

"Yeah. You think it's because of Lassie's fairy-mojo?"

"There's nothing fairy about the fae, Shawn. They literally eat people."

"You wouldn't think that'd be hot."

"It's not."

"Clearly, she thinks it is."

"Clearly, she's insane."

"Clearly, we need to talk to the principal."

"Clearly."

The principal isn't going to do anything, though they can't decide for sure if it's because there's a legitimate reason or because they're just not threatening enough.

When Juliet stops by the next week, she comes back with a class change form that Lassiter signs without reading, and the next time Shawn and Gus take Lily to school, they leave her with a matronly, grey-haired woman Shawn's pretty sure was around for Prohibition, but he's too afraid to ask.

She's perfect.

And so is Lily Lassiter.

Double L, as Shawn calls her.

She laughs constantly and at the littlest things. She runs to greet anyone she loves and never hesitates to tell someone what she likes about them. No one can get her to take anything but math and science seriously, not even her own safety. They all realize after the third night, she sneaks out to play with the stray cat down the street, and it takes them an embarrassing two hours to find her.

Carlton finally just gives in and catches the cat, and Gus makes an allergy appointment and resigns himself to regular shots.

Titan, as named by Lily, and Demon to everyone else, only likes the little girl and does his best to claw everyone else to pieces when they get too close. Juliet thinks it might be because of the changelings; animals have a stronger sixth sense than people, after all, and their blood makes even normal people nervous when it bubbles to the surface.

Malcolm scared the shit out of a lifetime thug just by smiling last week. Let a few of his teeth sharpen and gleam, and the guy ended up confessing to a lifetime's worth of crimes in an hour.

It was actually kind of annoying because Shawn had a whole song and dance prepared, and Lassie wouldn't let him do it after the guy confessed. No matter that Shawn had spent the night before practicing. 

Somehow, and none of them are sure how at all, Shawn and Gus become Lily's primary caretakers. 

Although, according to Gus, he's become the primary caretaker of two small children, and Shawn is just Lily's pain in the ass playmate who causes more problems than she does.

The day Shawn realizes he's gone way past favorite uncle is the day Lily calls him Papa, and Shawn realizes he's taken to carrying around a change of clothes and her favorite snack in both his bike and Gus's car. 

Bless Juliet and her sixth sense, she takes one look at his pale face and sweeps Lily off for a girl's afternoon while Gus shoves a paper bag in Shawn's face and starts hyperventilating himself when he tries to guide Shawn's breathing. McNabb finds them dizzy and sprawled on the floor an hour later and calls Francine, who manhandles them back to perfect health in a matter of minutes.

How sweet, gentle Buzz McNab married the devil Shawn has no idea, but even though it boggles the mind and bends reality, they really are an adorable couple. Francine might want to rip everyone else apart and chew on their bones, but she adores Buzz, and he worships her. 

They're annoyingly perfect together because even though it's been years, they're still delighted every time the other one walks into a room.

Oddly enough, that's what makes Shawn realize his relationship with Juliet is over.

But he hasn't had that epiphany yet. 

Right now, he's still struggling with realizing that he has a kid before Gus.

And also that his child's father is married to someone else.

Does that make him the other woman?

Gus laughs so hard he falls over when Francine says he's not the other woman; he's the nanny-turned-home wrecker.

If she actually liked Mab/Marlowe, he'd take it as an insult. 

Francine ends up dragging them all to a seedy bar that turns out to be a changeling hang-out that they're never allowed to come to without Francine, Lassiter, or Malcolm.

Hewett likes to start fights when he drinks, so he's not allowed to bring them.

Shawn loses track of his monologue somewhere between how did this happen and what am I going to do when she's too old to take care of?

Gus breaks in every so often with his rants of I can't believe you had a kid before me, and oh god, I have to start a college fund because you're never going to be able to pay for it.

Shawn's insistence that Lassie and Juliet will obviously be the ones paying doesn't help.

Francine keeps buying shots, and Buzz can hold his liquor waaayyyy better than Shawn would have ever believed; it only takes a couple of hours for Shawn to resign himself to his new future.

And it's not like he's unhappy about it. 

It's weirdly satisfying to think about raising Lily. The precious demon child is everything Shawn's ever wanted in a kid on the few occasions he actually thought about it. She's only just started first grade, which seems early????

He'd swear it was just yesterday that Lassie was panicking when Mab/Marlowe called from the hospital, and Gus was refusing to let Shawn buy the gaudiest police officer teddy bear he could find.

A lot has happened since then. 

Lassie got promoted. 

There's no interim before Vick's title, and her own kid is headed into middle school.

Shawn and Juliet moved, and Gus almost did.

Henry moved out of the house Shawn grew up in, and Shawn, Henry, and Madeline had dinner just last week, and no one yelled or got snippy or made concerned faces the entire time. 

They all behaved like perfect adults and fawned over Lily the entire time. His parents have even taken to referring to her as their grandchild, and when he thinks about that, he realizes he's a few months behind, which is kind of embarrassing given that he's made a career of being steps ahead of everyone else. 

But back to it, he has a kid now, regardless of his relationship status or any actual legal paperwork.

What's more, he's happy about it.

That's when it occurs to him that he doesn't actually live anywhere at the moment. Shawn and Gus are trading off the spare room and the couch at Lassie's place, and Juliet's been staying with a friend nearby.

Juliet and Shawn haven't done more than have a few lunches together since they came back, though they haven't had a conversation about anything yet.

Including the fact that they both seem to have decided to return to Santa Barbara regardless of the life they'd been planning up until Lassiter's grand revelation.

Shawn has no idea what happened when Juliet talked to Vick. Shawn's phone is suspiciously lacking any calls, not that he's made any himself, and he hopes they've made a silent agreement that Juliet's going to handle it.

Neither of them is really upset about it. Juliet's returned as a senior detective, and Lassiter's already working to make her Chief of Ds, despite Vick's claims that he wouldn't be able to.

It's a little odd that Vick was wrong about that. She always seemed like she knew those types of rules inside and out. But maybe it's Lassie's special power. Not that Shawn's managed to narrow down what exactly that is yet.

Lassie's been closed-lipped, and unlike the previous instances when he tried to keep things from Shawn, he's actually succeeding, and the most Malcolm and Hewett will say is that it varies depending on the bloodline they came from. 

Francine is the one who explains why they don't talk about it. That it's a matter of survival if they don't want to get hunted down and killed by their brethren still loyal to the road. 

She talks a lot about the otherworld. The underneath. With a sad kind of longing despite the insistence that she'll never return.

The Long Road and the world under the hill. It sounds appropriately fantastical. A world of dark forests and overgrown gardens and a kingdom half-buried, half-alive. 

Of a queen whose world bent at her will and the call that came whenever they were close enough to one another.

Mab has no equal, Francine had said. A few of us come close: Carlton, me, a handful of others. We don't tend to stay too close to one another. It attracts too much attention.

Mab's paranoid, likes to take out the competition before they become a threat. That's how she ended up here when she first heard about Carlton.

Also, you just can't trust a fae, she says with a grin. There's always a deal to be made, always an angle to play, and never any guarantee…one day, it might be more valuable to be Mab's ally instead of Carlton's…

Shawn doesn't quite believe her, and neither does Gus, based on his loud snort. She loves Buzz too much, and Buzz is too loyal. She'd never leave him behind. She'll go down with the ship just like the rest of them.

None of them have any idea where Mab/Marlowe is, though. Her sporadic absences before Shawn and Juliet left seem to have become permanent. She hasn't been back since the night Shawn and Juliet returned. No one's really interested in finding out where she is, either. Mab's hobbies were the things of nightmares, and no one had any interest in regaining her attention. 

Shawn toys with the idea of looking for her, but only briefly. He doesn't actually want her to come back, and Lily never asks for her mother. He was worried at first, but Lily's not just precocious; she's aware in a way no human child would be at her age. 

Fae blood. 

It's easy to forget she's only a quarter human when she was demanding mac and cheese for dinner six nights in a row and bouncing off the walls after having half of Shawn's pineapple shake. But there are other times when he catches her looking at someone or something, and there's an age in her eyes that he'll never be able to match. Even Gus has noticed, and now, instead of children's picture books, he buys her high school and college textbooks and sometimes lets her come to work lectures on new products. 

It's a bit terrifying, but once Lily hears or sees something, she knows it forever.

It's utterly adorable watching her and Lassie have long conversations about psychology and human nature and the balance that's necessary to make life as good as possible for everyone.

He also suspects, though he and Lassie still haven't had an actual conversation of any substance, that Lassiter has an idea of where Mab/Marlowe is or some way to track her. Shawn still remembers the wall of enemies from way back when they first met. The first time Lassie ever showed any kind of weakness to them. The first time he ever asked for their help.

Gus still mutters about that wall whenever Lassie mentions his enemies or old grudges.

Juliet may or may not be developing one of her own. She thinks no one knows about the binder she keeps in the bottom drawer of her desk, but Shawn found it on accident while they were unpacking. 

He's sure his father had one while he was still a cop, and he's not even going to pretend to think that Malcolm or Hewett don't have their own lists somewhere. 

People and their lists. Shawn's never made a list of anything other than suspects in a case in his life, and even those are rare. Lists are restraining, confining; people get focused on them and stop seeing anything outside of them. They're limiting, and Shawn doesn't like limits. 

It's the thing that's really attractive about the world under the hill. That there are no limits. Everything bends to the strength of a fae's will.

If Shawn had a drop of fae blood, he knows he'd have an impossibly hard time turning away from it.

Thankfully, he doesn't, and it's one of the few impulses he's smart enough to fight.

***

Juliet O'Hara hasn't felt stupid very often in her life. Every time she believes her father's latest lie about going straight and Shawn being psychic are the two big ones. 

And it's more about being mad at herself for being gullible than anything else.

She gets over the Shawn lying thing a lot faster than she does each time she's disappointed in her father.

Sign number one, she thinks later.

Well, maybe sign number two.

Sign number one should probably be the sheer amount of time it took Shawn and Juliet to actually get together. That kind of ridiculous dance only happens in movies and TV shows or in high school when you're too young to realize how to be an actual functioning adult.

Some people are fun to flirt with, but it never needs to go further than that.

The night she watched Carlton pry six mushroomed slugs out of his chest is the night Juliet realizes she's made a terrible mistake.

Which isn't entirely fair to her or Shawn. The terrible mistake is a twisted amalgamation of the move, following Vick instead of Carlton and dating Shawn, but that one's not necessarily a bad thing, just an unnecessary distraction caused by the other two. 

She doesn't regret it, not compared to the regret she feels about the move and not trusting Carlton, and she's pretty sure Shawn is on the same page because they slide back to best friends and flirty pals with much more ease than how they clawed their way into a relationship.

Juliet loves Shawn too much to trap him in a relationship that would smother exactly what makes him so special.

She also has way too much respect for herself to settle for a relationship that isn't the best damn thing.

She takes one night at her friends, drinks a couple of bottles of wine, and mourns what could have been, and when she wakes up the next morning and doesn't regret anything but the hangover, it feels like the start of the next chapter of her life.

She does spare a second to think she and Shawn need to talk about things, but then she sees the photo of Shawn and Lily on her phone and realizes there's no reason to torture themselves. 

All she feels obligated to do is tell Carlton that she and Shawn are over.

He blinks at her, and maybe she should have eased into the conversation instead of stomping in his office and just making the announcement as she handed him the previous day's reports, but Carlton has always appreciated efficiency. 

Even if he looks a bit bowled over. 

It's always a good day when she could get one over on Carlton. 

She gets a couple of calls from Vick asking if she's really sure, like really, really sure, there's something Juliet needs to know, and can they meet?

She never commits. She's pretty sure she knows what Vick wants to tell her, and while Juliet's curious to know how Vick knows, she also knows (Juliet knows a lot) that it's mostly likely the same way Henry Spencer does. Enough time on the force to see the things that go bump in the night.

Given that Carlton won't speak about Vick other than a political smile and nod, she doesn't think Vick was as accepting as Juliet and Buzz are. Which paints a whole lot of things in an entirely new light that Juliet isn't sure she's comfortable with.

To protect and serve, right? They don't get to pick and choose who they protect.

It seems odd now that Carlton worked for her for so long, but Juliet's got other things to worry about. 

Like Carlton, or Shawn, not making a move and the school wanting to move Lily up a grade, and who's taking her to drug seminars? Because it's not appropriate for a first grader to be telling her classmates the side effects of narcotics and how much they cost per pill.

It's entirely possible Juliet is the only real adult in their group, and she's going to have to straighten all this nonsense out for them.

But it throws even Juliet through a loop when she notices Hewett sliding up to Gus and getting smacked down, only to be right back at it the next day.

She didn't think Gus swung that way.

And to be clear, she doesn't mean the male thing. 

She means the discipline thing.

Although….the more she thinks about how long he's been putting up with Shawn, the more it makes sense.

***

Shawn doesn't believe her.

It's the funniest thing. Juliet just keeps smirking, but she's smirking about everything these days. 

Smirking about them back to being friends and about Carlton and the fact that he trusts Shawn with his child and about the fact that Carlton employs Shawn and Gus a hell of a lot more than Vick ever did once they all settle back into Santa Barbara.

She smirks the hardest whenever she corners Shawn to talk about the things he's not talking to Lassie about.

And when she talks about this thing Gus has going with Hewett of all people, things, whatever the fae count as.

Shawn would like to remain blissfully oblivious to all of it for what's left of his sanity, but Juliet refuses. Something about happiness and mental health, and she's waited too damn long, so he better get his act together before she does it for him.

They're weird conversations, but Shawn's impressive mental prowess actually lets him remain relatively oblivious until proof smacks him in the face.

Then he feels like an idiot. 

But first, the proof and the face-smacking.

It happens on a relatively normal night. They've closed another case, and Carlton stayed behind for his one night a week to sign paperwork, and Juliet stayed to help him, so Shawn and Gus have Lily for the night, and she's already passed out thanks to a school trip to the zoo.

With nothing else to do, he's barging into Gus's room to complain about Carlton's work ethic and Juliet's continued insistence that Shawn and Lassie are meant for each other because they drive one another up the wall when his eyes and his brain catch up and make him stop dead in the doorway.

Gus is in boxers, thank god, and Shawn vaguely recognizes them, so there's a good chance they're a pair he's borrowed at one point or another, something to never tell Gus.

The more shocking aspect, aside from Gus's flailing and surprisingly violent arm waving, is the equally naked Hewett sprawled across the bed.

"Uh…"

"Shawn, what have I told you about knocking."

"I did!"

"You didn't."

"You definitely didn't," Hewett pipped up from the bed, far too comfortable and smug for someone who'd just been caught inflagrante with Shawn's best friend.

"Dude, since when-"

"Shawn, do you really want to do this now?"

"Yes!"

"Well, I don't!"

"Too bad!"

"It is for you."

And Gus has gotten surprisingly strong because he manhandles Shawn back out the door while Hewett watches with a grin.

"Dude, really, Hewett?"

"Dude, really, Lassiter?"

"Fair point….Since when are you-"

"I'm not, I'm…It's just him. So far. It's new."

"Gus," Shawn starts tearing up, which makes Gus start rolling his eyes, "I'd given up hope you were ever going to get to this phase."

"Go away, Shawn."

"I'm so proud! Don't forget the lube, and if you have any questions-"

"You should come as me because out of the two of us, I'm the one getting laid."

"Ouch. Burn. Fair, but ouch. But it can hurt your first time-"

"Wrong way round, Shawn."

"….No way, really?"

"Goodnight, Shawn."

"Go, Gus!"

"Goodnight, Spencer!" Hewett hollers, starting to sound impatient. "B, get back here."

The door shuts in his face then, but Shawn can clearly hear Gus's "Behave, or we're starting over." and Hewett's silky, "Yes, sir."

"Oh, wow." Shawn wanders away in a daze because he did not, in any world, see that coming.

Not even with Juliet's warnings.

When he brings it up to Juliet, she just says, "I told you so."

Repeatedly.

Shawn's confusion makes her laugh, and it feels good, feels like they're back where they were when they were the best of friends. 

"Gus spends all his time trying to keep the most uncontrollable person under control and failing; it's not really a surprise he'd find…satisfaction in that drive somewhere else. And Hewett's never been shy about liking a little discipline."

It makes a weird kind of sense, and they fit together like two little puzzle pieces with edges they never showed anybody else.

"I didn't think Gus had it in him. It's not bad, just weird-"

"Hot?" Juliet finishes with a glazed look in her eyes that means any intelligent conversation is over and Shawn needs to leave because he's all for fantasy, just not about the guy who's his brother.

There is a truly fantastic, amazing moment a few weeks later that really cements everything. When Gus' old acappella boys end up back in town in trouble AGAIN. Somehow, after they've solved the mystery and arrested the bad guy, talk turns to love lives, Shawn and Juliet's quiet settlement back into friends and Tony and Drake getting married, and they start teasing Gus for his breakup with Rachael. 

Shawn's mouth runs away with him, insisting Gus has an ever hotter significant other now, outing Gus before he's even thinking, but Gus just shrugs it off. 

And to their credit, Tony and Drake don't care about the gay part as much as they don't think Gus could catch an attractive boyfriend.

Shawn doesn't realize until later that Gus had texted Hewett to come at that exact moment, but he shows up just then, spotless in his uniform with the sleeves rolled up the same way Lassie does that makes Shawn lose his mind, and he looks like he belongs on a fucking recruitment poster as he bats his eyelashes at Gus and calls him babe and obediently goes and gets them another round.

Tony and Drake are literally stunned speechless. 

Gus has become THE PLAYER in Shawn's book because even Shawn doesn't know if he'd have the balls to ask Lassie to do that for him. 

And he certainly never thought to ask Juliet.

That's really when it sinks in for Shawn.

He's the only one who's alone now. 

Well, there's Carlton.

Who might still be married, technically, but it's not like Mab/Marlowe counts, so none of them really care.

Carlton doesn't really seem like he's trying to get out there and find someone new anyway, so maybe Shawn shouldn't count him?

Except Juliet and Gus are both starting to get violent whenever he points that out, and he can only take so many blows to the head before his precious brain is ruined.

Even Lily is starting to get in on it, and her hints aren't anywhere near as subtle as the adults around her. She's suddenly decided that anything she does with Carlton, she needs Shawn too and vice versa, and it only takes two weeks of them living in one another's pockets before Shawn breaks one night when Carlton is helping him clean up after dinner and everyone else has given up on any attempt to be subtle about leaving them alone.

To be fair, he makes an effort to keep the conversation focused on something besides any possible relationship.

"So…"

"Hand me the towel."

Shawn may or may not throw it at his head, but that's not the important part.

"How was work?"

"You were there."

"Man, you are not making this easy."

"Making what easy?"

"Look- never mind."

Shawn's frustration almost gets the best of him. 

Almost.

"Just ask, Spencer."

It occurs to him for the first time that he might not be the only one stuck in this weird if-maybe-possibly-could-be hell.

"What's it like?"

Carlton looks confused for a minute before he stops drying the pan in his hands and actually looks at Shawn. "It's noisy. Loud. People are…When people can't hide themselves, it's amplified. It took me a long time to figure out how to ignore it."

"Can you actually hear their thoughts?"

"Sometimes. Most of the time, they just feel so much so strongly about it that I don't need them. It's easy to put the words in their mouths."

"That's weirdly easier and harder than I was expecting."

"Did you think I just saw a flashing neon sign over their heads?"

"No. But I thought you could at least read minds!"

"It's not like that would be any more accurate, Spencer. People lie to themselves just as much as they lie to everyone else."

"Well, that's disappointing."

It's a credit to how much they've both grown that Carlton just laughs.

"What do you see when you look at me?"

Because Shawn is the only person stupid enough to ask a real psychic that.

They must be perfect for each other because Carlton's the only one stupid enough to answer honestly.

"The sun. Stupidly loud and bright and warm and impossible not to look at."

Which, really, who wouldn't jump someone who said that about them?

So technically, that makes it Carlton's fault.

You know, the not doing the dishes and the food left out and the broken table.

All Carlton's fault.

Though Shawn was a willing participant in all of it.

And maybe an enthusiastic instigator because Carlton had definitely been hot as fuck after Shawn had ripped his shirt open, scattering buttons everywhere, and spread him out on the table to lick as much as possible.

Okay, so maybe the broken table was his fault. Shawn had been convinced it could hold both of them. Carlton hadn't been as convinced, but he certainly hadn't argued very hard either. 

And he'd been the one who bent Shawn over the counter anyway.

So maybe they were both at fault.

But that's that. 

After that night, they're Shawn and Carlton, and it's surprisingly, but not disappointingly, anticlimactic.

Now Shawn's got a fae in his bed. A knight of the Tuatha de Danaan. With too long limbs, too bright eyes, and too sharp teeth.

And salt and pepper hair and somehow fewer scars than Shawn was expecting, and now there's a gun in the nightstand and a knife hidden behind the headboard and no need to worry about who's side of the bed is who's because Carlton's possessiveness meshes well with Shawn's constant need to cuddle.

Turns out that Shawn's mental inability to stop paying attention and move on fits well with the obsessive nature of Carlton's blood. He's just as willing to cling as Shawn, though they both have different styles.

Shawn's still loud and all over the place and couldn't care less about the rules. 

And Carlton's still uptight and vengeful and way too quick to violence, but he also has an unending well of affection to answer Shawn's constant need for attention. 

And Shawn's surprised to realize that attention, even if it's in the form of an argument half the time, is exactly what he needs.

More than that, it's exactly what he wanted in all those other relationships that never quite got there.

Everything he was looking for and failing to find without even realizing it.

To be fair, Shawn is good at other people, less so at himself, or so every person who knows him says.

And there are some growing pains despite everyone else's glee that they're finally together.

Shawn still hasn't met a rule he didn't think was worth breaking, and Carlton still thinks law and order are the supreme gods of the universe. Lassie can't even threaten to cuff him anymore because of that one night they experimented and discovered a kink they shared.

Now, neither of them can look at a set of cuffs together without blushing. 

They still argue about most things, actually. Carlton works too much, and Shawn is bad at communicating. They both obsess over their cases, shared or not, and Carlton and Henry are still friends. 

Shawn briefly attempts to make friends with Mona in retaliation but quickly realizes he can't stand the woman.

How can she hate her own child for something that wasn't even his fault?

Althea is okay, though, but still…the clear uncomfortableness they have at the mere mention of Lassie is enough to make Shawn defensive.

After that lunch, he never goes back and doesn't bother signing the compulsory Christmas card Lassie sends every year.

Gus and Juliet are amused by the level of dislike Shawn develops for Mona since it's much stronger than his dislike for people who have actually tried to kill him, but they don't disagree.

Most importantly, Lily doesn't care. Aside from the brief meeting at the hospital, she doesn't have any memory of her only grandmother. Nor does she feel any strong desire to form more. She's much more attached to Henry and Madeline and the Burtons. And even Juliet's father and stepfather on the occasions when they pop in to raise everyone's blood pressure.

Lily doesn't even bother to pretend she isn't pleased when they get together. She even takes the credit, crowing about her schemes finally working whenever it comes up. 

Gus doesn't even ask before moving permanently into the guest room, and Shawn comes home one day to find all his stuff moved in with Carlton's in the master bedroom.

It's nice to see that no matter how much does change, some things never will. Gus is still the master of passive aggressiveness. 

Lassie doesn't even seem to notice. 

Or he does, and he just doesn't say anything.

He does have a weird aura of smugness for a week or so, though, but since the quantity and quality of Shawn's sex life goes through the roof for that week, he doesn't say anything.

Not that their sex life is lacking the rest of the time. The upside of two slightly obsessive people being together is that there's no shortage of passion in the bedroom.

Or whatever other room they happened to be in at the time. 

No one could ever call Shawn a prude or a puritan, but even he's slightly impressed by what they get up to.

And how often.

Lassie may be strait-laced and slightly behind the times old-fashioned, but he has no problem following Shawn's lead when it comes to trying something new. 

And quite frankly, once Shawn gets him going, there's no going back until he's worn out.

Shawn's even found an upside to the fact that Lassie's power means he can pretty much never successfully lie to the man anymore.

Because Lassie's power also means he knows exactly how Shawn feels about every little thing they do, even on the few occasions Shawn can't bring himself to say it out loud.

Like that spot under Shawn's ear that literally leaves him speechless. 

Carlton's got one too.

His hands. Sensitive enough that a single kiss or stroke leaves him lax and wanting, and Shawn is shameless. Having all that twisted blood and power at his mercy is just as good as being at its mercy.

It strikes Shawn that this might be his first adult relationship. 

And only, but that's not as important.

It's the first relationship where everything is equal. There are no secrets giving one leverage over the other. No guilt or favors owed or money or property one has that the other just borrows. They talk about everything because Shawn can't not talk, and Carlton is the one who's actually good at communication in a relationship and skilled enough at interrogation to make Shawn say what he's trying very hard not to. Who believes in the age-old sayings that communication is the cornerstone and blah blah blah.

Shawn even dutifully memorizes all of Carlton's emergency plans and top ten enemies, and in return, Carlton only buys pineapple smoothies from that place off the boardwalk and refers anyone who needs a lawyer to Hornstock. They debate any issues that come up with Lily, and Shawn doesn't realize how lucky he is until they deal with a case involving a stepparent who isn't allowed to be an actual parent despite their devotion to the children.

Shawn manages to refrain from saying that relationship isn't going to last in front of any of them, thanks to Gus's very pointed elbow, but there's no way that relationship is going to last.

He just hopes it doesn't end in murder.

It's right around this time that Mab/Marlowe makes her return.

Shawn and Gus bring Lily home one day after school, only to have her refuse to leave the car. 

The doors lock on their own, too, and no matter how fast Shawn and Gus are, they can't get out. They spend a futile fifteen minutes arguing with Lily before Mab/Marlowe steps outside, and they realize why she doesn't want to get out of the car.

Mab/Marlowe doesn't have any more luck getting her out than Shawn or Gus did, thank god. They end up crammed in the backseat on either side of her, ignoring Mab/Marlowe getting angrier and angrier outside.

Gus even starts counting down how long they'll have to stay in the car before Lassie, Hewett, or Juliet come home, but before they have to start rationing skittles and pineapple juice, Lily tells her mother to go away.

And if Mab/Marlowe wasn't a crazy fae queen with god knows how many years and kids and murders under her belt, Shawn might actually feel bad. A mother rejected by her child.

But he doesn't. 

Because she's crazy, and it's 50/50 if she's here to take Lily away or kill her, and well, Shawn's not letting either of those two things happen.

Mab/Marlowe herself seems surprised and displeased, to put it lightly, and her claws carve gouges in Gus's windows.

But she does leave. 

Eventually.

After promising to return when Lily is old enough to understand the choice she's making.

Privately, Shawn thinks she's old enough now, but even he's not stupid enough to pick that fight.

He'll leave that part to Carlton.

Which is apparently what happens when he tells him later that night what happened. 

Infuriated, Carlton leaves immediately despite loud disagreements from Gus and Henry.

He only takes Juliet with him. The rest of them batter down the hatches and crowd into the living room to wait, and Shawn's never had to sit around and wait before.

At least not when he's been an adult aware of what's happening.

It makes it easier to understand why his parents didn't last. Why cops have such high divorce rates. All Shawn can think about is all the ways it could go wrong. All the years he'll spend alone because Mab/Marlowe will win.

Shawn's never wanted to kill someone so much in his life.

But leaving to help means leaving Lily alone, and Shawn has definitely grown up because he knows better. Carlton loves his daughter more than anyone, though Shawn is a close second, and Shawn loves her just as much. 

It's just as hard to imagine leaving her at such a horrible time as it is to imagine not going to help Lassie, but Lily wins out.

An odd sense of responsibility that's slowly been growing since he came back from San Francisco and settled into this life he didn't realize he'd wanted all along.

***

Carlton is aware of how lucky he is.

He still doesn't know how he ended up here, but he loves it, and he isn't going to let it go without a fight.

It makes it easy to ignore the fear of facing Mab/Marlowe without any leverage and a houseful of weaknesses she can exploit.

Juliet is steady at his shoulder like she always was and always will be. Of everyone, she's the least afraid of Mab/Marlowe. Whether it is a lack of knowledge or ego, it doesn't matter; she's there, and she's ready to fight, and she makes Carlton feel braver.

And since Mab/Marlowe wants the confrontation, she doesn't give them long enough to grow nervous or question their choices. 

There's less blood than he's expecting. Mab knows she can't force Lily to come with her, and hurting Carlton or Juliet will only push Lily further away. Mab's own unwillingness to stick around and play mother has shot her in the foot. 

Still, Carlton's strong but not as strong as Mab. Not even with Juliet's help. 

No one is. 

So, Carlton ends up in the hospital, and they call it a stroke. Juliet ends up with broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder, and Mab limps away with wounds of her own and an agreement that she won't come back until Lily is eighteen.

The warehouse, splattered with their blood, burns down mysteriously while Carlton and Juliet are in the hospital. Henry's worked enough arson cases to know what to do.

Shawn, Gus, and Lily visit Carlton in the hospital every day after school, giving Carlton the rundown on their cases and the stuff happening at the station. It's a few weeks before Carlton can talk back, but the first day he calls Shawn an idiot, all three of them burst into tears.

Hewett ends up whisking Gus and Lily away for ice cream to give Shawn and Carlton a moment alone, which Shawn absolutely takes advantage of.

Juliet ends up out of the hospital well before Carlton and runs the station while they make Carlton take a chunk of the ridiculous amount of leave he has saved up.

Shawn accidentally memorizes an annoying amount of medical knowledge and actually understands why Gus is so squeamish for a while. 

Carlton snaps at him a few times, and Shawn yells, but they get through Carlton's recovery unscathed.

In the end, Mab/Marlowe didn't manage to do any lasting damage, and while Carlton worries that it's all too good to be true for a bit, Spencer's unwillingness to change some of his more annoying habits or his pineapple obsession, he's been buying pineapple lube lately, convinces him that it's not some weird trap. 

It's just life, and this time, it just happened to work in his favor.

Oddly enough, or maybe not, things settle down. Carlton gets used to Shawn and Gus at the station and turns a blind eye when Juliet gives them two empty desks at the edge of the bullpen. Buzz is actually turning into a hell of a detective. He's still way too gullible, but he also has a knack for getting people to talk. And Francine is always there to intimidate anyone who tries to intimidate him, which- he needs to find out whose access badge she keeps stealing because she's not actually allowed to be at some of the places she's shown up.

Hewett and Gus seem to be the real deal, as solid as Carlton and Shawn have turned out to be. Hewett's still a jackass when he feels like it, but he takes Gus' reputation far more seriously than his own, so he never crosses the line. And he's the best partner on April's Fools.

Malcolm is as steady as ever, stepping in to help Juliet as one of the senior uniformed officers.

Going back to work is both a relief and terribly disappointing. Spencer took a break from cases while Carlton was healing, and by the time Carlton's back in the office, they're both itching for a mystery. 

They even start eating lunch together at the station. Sometimes with Juliet and Malcolm and sometimes with Gus and Hewett, and sometimes all of them cram into Carlton's office over potstickers and smoothies, and they comb through cold cases. 

One day, Juliet hauls a perp twice her size into the precinct, battered and bruised and bleeding, but with a vicious, smug smile. She got her cuffs on one of the FBI's ten most wanted, and her fellow cops react accordingly. Throwing her an impromptu party while Carlton gloats to the FBI field office over the phone.

It's at that party that Shawn notices a glint in Malcolm's eye that he recognizes.

"Seriously?"

"Gotta love a dangerous woman."

"Is danger a thing for you fae?" Because that would explain a lot about all of them now that he thinks about it.

Hewett's got a hungry look aimed at Gus that makes Shawn snort.

"What? I'm a dangerous man, Shawn."

Hewett grins with his teeth.

And maybe, maybe, Gus is now. Gus, who still faints at the sight of blood and screams when he's startled and can't watch horror movies alone, but he's still here. Still standing beside Shawn and two guys that have blood from another world and who could, quite literally, be found in the dictionary under monsters, and who sport teeth and claws when the occasion calls for it.

He's still Shawn's best friend. Still the kid who took the blame with ill grace but never left. Who bails Shawn out no matter how bad the situation is. Who runs in brandishing whatever weapon he can find with his eyes squeezed shut when Shawn needs rescuing and he can't reach Lassie or Juliet on the phone.

Maybe he was dangerous all along, and Shawn just never noticed because Gus would never turn it on him.

Maybe he's grown just as much as Shawn.

…..

Well, okay, even Shawn can admit he's done more growing out of the two of them, but Gus has changed, too. Not as much, but just as well. 

And it occurs to Shawn that this means he doesn't have to worry about losing Gus. 

Ever.

That this life isn't suddenly going to get too scary for him.

"Pineapple smoothies?"

"You know that's right. We should bring one back for Juliet."

"A big one," Malcolm adds.

When Shawn complains about Malcolm making eyes at Juliet later, Carlton just looks thoughtful and then vaguely terrified when Lily announces she wants a cousin.

So, all in all, life's good. Way better than Carlton ever dreamed it could be.

The call from the long road and the world under the hill has never been so quiet.

~fin~

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