chapter 3
3 – Look at Me for a Second
It was a traffic accident.
In front of the school at an intersection, without checking her surroundings,
She crossed the crosswalk on a green light and was hit by a car that didn’t slow for the orange light, dying from massive blood loss.
At the funeral, the mother who lost her daughter, her agonized wailing, the scent of chrysanthemums, her neat school uniform in the memorial photo—she was vividly etched into my memory.
Just knowing a classmate had died was a huge shock at my young age, but even more unforgettable was…
[If you’re gone too, then me, what will I…]
Empathy.
Besides her daughter, she had already lost her husband as well.
Later I heard that Chae-rin’s dad left even before she started elementary school.
‘That probably influenced her top tier bad girl behavior a bit.’
Because I also understood the pain of growing up without a father, I could sympathize more than anyone.
After all, I had almost been twisted by that pain countless times.
“…”
No matter how much time passed, I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
A thick hand suddenly appeared in my vision, pointing at Chae-rin, before flicking my forehead.
“Yo, why’re you staring at her like that?”
“Huh?”
Only then did I pull my eyes away from her.
‘I was spacing out and staring.’
The top tier girls seemed to have noticed me continuously watching, murmuring and glancing this way.
I couldn’t hear their distant conversation but it was obvious nothing good was being said, so I tried my best to divert their attention. Looking back at Yuma…
“This punk…”
He was grinning as if ready to punch me at any moment.
“Did you finally get radiation poisoning or something?”
Normally Yuma would have responded with all kinds of profanity, but he just kept giggling with an unpleasant expression.
“hehehe…punk.”
“Say it properly, you punk.”
“Stop, Yuma.”
From just his expression I could tell he was entertaining some weird ideas on his own so I immediately clarified the misunderstanding.
“Just to clear things up, it’s not like that.”
“Not like what?”
“What you’re imagining right now.”
“I have no idea what you mean?”
“…Just shut up.”
As if happy to have found something to tease me about, he incessantly pestered and ridiculed me until the break ended and he returned to his seat after the bell rang.
After class started again…
I stared at the back of Park Chae-rin’s head visible diagonally ahead of me, lost in thought.
‘When I know she’s going to die, just watching and doing nothing feels…’
We weren’t close but we were classmates.
Most of all, remembering the mother crying ceaselessly, calling her name at the funeral weighed on my heart.
‘If I died, Mom would cry like that too.’
“Ah…”
Oh well, I came to the past so might as well save one life.
Having made up my mind, I pushed aside the lecture I wouldn’t listen to anyway, and opened my notebook to begin jotting down information related to her death.
‘Exactly when was the traffic accident?’
From what I recalled, it was while we were still wearing winter uniforms.
‘Not long after the semester started…’
I vaguely remembered but couldn’t recall exactly, so I was wracking my brain when…
The birthdays written on the class board caught my eye.
‘That’s right, birthday.’
At Chae-rin’s funeral, I heard this said.
[Her birthday was coming up soon, less than a week away…]
She died a week before her own birthday, they said.
That let me roughly figure out when the timeframe was.
‘So I just need to check her birthday, and the biggest problem is…’
How to approach Chae-rin.
I know she gets hit by a car after school in front of the school gate, but since I don’t know the exact date I’d have to keep watch on her at all times.
‘Following her around like a stalker and getting caught would be terrible.’
Is there any plausible reason I could be with her constantly?
‘Our only common ground is both our dads are absent but…’
I can’t just suddenly say, ‘You don’t have a dad either? Me neither, wanna be friends?’
I racked my brain about how to approach her, but…
“See you guys tomorrow.”
“Bye~”
When school ended and after-school activities began, I still hadn’t come up with a decent plan.
As I sat there deep in thought, before I knew it her friends gathered around her in threes and fives, and they started leaving the classroom.
“Ah…I don’t know.”
I had an instinct that no matter how much I agonized over it, no proper solution would come to me, so I immediately rose from my seat.
‘Since when have I lived thinking deeply about things like this?’
For now I’ll just take the direct approach.
In the end, to resolve the issue in the way most familiar to him, Joo-woon reached out to grab her as she tried to leave the classroom.
“Park Chae-rin.”
Calling out her name drew everyone’s attention in the classroom.
Maybe because Joo-woon never initiated conversation with girls.
Or maybe because the other party was Park Chae-rin, rumored to be the prettiest girl in school.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and watched the two with keen interest, as if spectating a fight.
*
“Chae-rin, Chae-rin.”
“What.”
“That guy keeps staring at you?”
“Ugh.”
She had vaguely noticed as well.
Partly owing to his overt gaze.
Whether due to her looks inherited from her actress mother.
She drew attention from girls as well as guys, so she had become sensitive to such stares.
‘Annoying.’
She wanted to ignore it, but the fact that not just her but her friends around her noticed his intent gaze irritated her.
Based on her experience, a confession was clearly imminent, either in a week if fast or a month if slow.
Some might think it presumptuous to make such assumptions just because someone looked at her face for a while, but…
‘So he’s fallen for me too.’
Her friends all had the same thought, having similarly outstanding looks besides just meeting school criteria.
“We just started high school, what if he catches feelings already?”
“But he’s never cared about girls before…and now he’s caught by her face.”
“…Oh shut up.”
A guy from our class whose face she knew but name and conversations she barely remembered.
‘The one who’s always giggling as he walks around…’
The impression she got of Joo-woon’s personality after entering high school was of someone incredibly frivolous.
She had no idea what he thought about, but he always had a smile on his face, blurting out pointless jokes with his friends.
‘An ignorant, uncultured guy.’
It was the type Chae-rin detested the most.
Someone who seemed not to have a care in the world, living like a cartoon character from her childhood.
In truth, unlike the impression she had, Joo-woon always smiled and laughed to avoid worrying his mother, his only remaining family, but…
“I hate him so much.”
“Pfft…he’ll be hurt though.”
Hearing her honestly scrunch her face and speak, the girls around her couldn’t hold back their laughter, giggling away.
“Crazy girl, so funny.”
“But he likes you, why’re you like that to someone who favors you?”
“Who asked to be liked?”
Nothing is more disgusting than receiving unwanted affection, especially from someone she dislikes.
‘I should directly tell him to buzz off.’
Recalling the confessions she had received so far, Chae-rin was devising how to clearly reject him when the bell rang.
Another boring classroom session survived, it was now after-school activity time.
“Let’s go, Chae-rin~”
“Can you stop adding -jjang to my name?”
As usual a friend approached, speaking in a strange tone, and she rose from her seat to leave the classroom and head to academy when…
“Park Chae-rin.”
“…”
At the voice calling her name that she really didn’t want to hear, her face instinctively scrunched up.
She turned around to see Joo-woon, who had been watching her during break, standing there.
‘Ugh, damn it.’
She had an uneasy premonition about what he was trying to say.
Without realizing, her face wrinkled at the unwanted attention.
She heaved a sigh inside.
‘If you have something to say, say it quietly in private.’
The classroom’s hushed silence from his attention-grabbing behavior amplified the irritation already filling her chest.
“What do you want.”
Although it was now spring after a long winter passed, Park Chae-rin’s tone was icy cold.
Everyone in class felt a chill down their spine despite not being directly involved.
The aura screamed for the other party to not say a word and buzz off.
A tender-hearted friend might have shed a tear.
However.
‘Smiling?’
No matter how angry a high schooler’s expression, they were still a high schooler.
The age difference wasn’t that big, but to Joo-woon in his mid twenties, it was a laughable threat.
With his usual frivolous school grin, he said,
“Look at me for a second.”