Chapter 35 - Step by Step
I found Akane safe and sound, forcibly pulled her hand and invited her back to my home.
Now, I’m having her take a shower.
Even though it’s still warm, being completely soaked isn’t good.
I decided to lend her one of my shirts.
“…Thanks for the shower. And the shirt, too.”
“Ah.”
Akane glanced at my face for a moment, then awkwardly turned away and sat in the corner by the window.
“I put your clothes in the dryer. Want to drink some hot lemon tea while we wait for them to dry?”
“…I’ll drink.”
I handed Akane the hot lemon tea with honey I had made.
After taking the cup from me, Akane held it with both hands to warm up, sipping the hot lemon tea.
Without saying anything, I sat next to Akane and drank my portion of hot lemon tea.
“…Why did… you… um…”
Without looking at me, Akane spoke while staring at the floor.
Her vague questioning probably indicated that she couldn’t fully express her feelings in words yet.
“Aoi-san called me.”
“…My sister… Ah, right, the contact.”
“You left your phone at home, so I contacted her on your behalf.”
“Ah… sorry.”
Akane said, looking visibly downcast.
…She seems quite weak. It seems that her failure in the candidate’s speech this time has had a significant impact.
I said nothing, just continued to sit next to Akane. The sound of rain was the only thing echoing in the room.
There was no awkwardness there, rather, there was a sense of nostalgia.
Akane Shinjo is a person who doesn’t like to show her weaknesses. But she does give some sort of sign to those she trusts.
So, I just have to wait for that.
“…Hey, aren’t you going to ask what happened?”
“…What do you mean?”
“That’s why… why I ran out of the house in the heavy rain, why I was crying…”
“If you’re willing to tell me, I’d like to know. Why were you crying alone in the heavy rain?”
What’s important here is to choose words that make it easy to say what I want to say.
So, I always end with a question.
“…I got sick of my own weakness and patheticness.”
“Weakness and patheticness? What do you mean?”
“…You may have noticed, but my stage fright isn’t cured. I’m still scared of the eyes of many people… I’m full of anxiety about how I’m being perceived.”
“So, is that why you collapsed during the speech?”
She nodded to my words.
It’s said that stage fright tends to get worse the more important the situation is to the person.
“I’m not confident like you and Fumiya Hiyo. I’m always pretending to be strong, but in reality, I’m always anxious… and pathetic. This time too, I let you clean up after me, I’m always causing trouble…”
Akane’s voice, her body, started to shake more and more.
“I… am not the kind of person who can lead everyone.”
No, that’s not what Akane really wants to say.
“I’m sorry for being such a mess even though I was being supported.”
“It’s not decided that you’ve lost yet. The election management committee will provide a substitute day for the candidate’s speech. If you can deliver a proper speech, there’s a good chance you can win.”
I’ve already spoken to the election committee chairman, Shion, and the students’ reaction to Akane was more of concern than disappointment.
However, Akane shook her head as if to give up.
“It’s not about changing the school… I want to change myself… It’s laughable, right? I can’t even change myself.”
I tried to comfort her, “You still have a chance to make a difference, both for yourself and for the school. People believe in you, and they see your potential.”
We sat in silence for a while, listening to the rain and sipping our hot lemon tea. The warmth of the tea seemed to bring some comfort to both of us.
“Thank you for being there for me,” Akane whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of the rain.
“Of course, we’re friends. I’ll always be here to support you,” I replied.
Slowly, Akane’s expression began to change. Her eyes seemed to regain some of their strength, and she took a deep breath.
“Alright,” she said, more determined now. “I’ll do my best to face my fears and give the speech again. I can’t let everyone down, and I can’t let myself down either.”
I smiled and patted her on the back. “That’s the spirit. I know you can do it, Akane.”
As we continued to drink our hot lemon tea, the rain outside began to subside, and the atmosphere in the room grew lighter. We both knew that there would be challenges ahead, but we also knew that, together, we could overcome them.
In that moment, our friendship grew stronger, and we felt more prepared to face whatever the future might hold.
“I wanted to change myself, that’s why I decided to run in this election. I thought becoming the student council president would bring me closer to my ideal self. Standing confidently in front of everyone, being popular, leading the way. I wanted to be that strong person.”
No, that’s not it.
“But I was brought back to reality this time. I can’t do it. I… I haven’t changed at all since the play.”
This is it. These were the words Akane truly wanted to say.
“…That’s not true.”
Akane lifts her gaze.
This is the first time we look into each other’s eyes.
I gently touch Akane’s cheek.
Her expression is a mix of surprise and fear.
She looked like a child on the verge of tears. But Akane does not shake off my hand. Without saying anything, she waits for my words.
“Wounds from childhood tend to linger. Usually, we turn a blind eye. But Akane, even though it’s hard, you’re facing forward, aren’t you?”
“…No.”
“Yes, you are. You ran away during kindergarten, but you didn’t run away from the assembly the other day.”
“That’s… because I asked you for help.”
“But you didn’t run. That’s significant growth.”
“But, but! The speech this time…”
“The same goes for this speech. You stood on the stage even without me. This is also significant growth. People can’t change that easily. But you are changing, bit by bit.”
Upon hearing my words, Akane’s eyes waver greatly.
“It’s okay, Akane can definitely do it. Show me the cool Akane, like always. Even if you can’t believe in yourself, I believe in you.”
Saying that, I gently stroke the crying Akane’s head.
A fire lights up in the will behind Akane’s fading eyes.
“…You know, you’re quite strange.”
Akane mutters with relief.
“Is that so?”
“Yes. Your words… your voice, they have the power to make me seriously believe that I can do it.”
“…Is that so?”
“Yes.”
Akane gives a small chuckle.
My words earlier gave strength to Akane. Her confidence started to inflate like a balloon, reviving Akane.
Her weak expression is gone, replaced by her usual one.
“So? What will you do? I’ll stick with you till the end, you know?”
“…Right. Yes. I’ll do it. So, please, stick with me till the end.”